Mika handed Simkha the teal tote holding both takeaways. Mika pulled a pair of thrift-shop-chic sunglasses out of her clutch and popped them on. She looked unfairly glamorous in her cheap shades, light pink hair, and artfully-draped outfit. She reminded Simkha of the home-town glamor queen archetype she had learned from manhwa and webtoons.

“I’m mad at you,” said Simkha.

“Er,” said Mika, “Soz?”

Simkha narrowed her eyes. Mika’s grin turned sheepish.

“Sorry…” repeated Mika. “Can… may I ask what I did wrong? I have a guess… but I worry that maybe I’m missing something. Because of, you know, my terminal extroversion…”

“I don’t know why I’m mad,” Simkha groaned. She pointed to her head and went on. “I hate it here. Aaah. I’m not asking for an apology. I’m warning you that I’m a crazy bitch today, and giving you a chance to run.”

Mika’s expression melted into something warmer.

“Ohhh, beyb-ums. I’m still sorry. Was I too flippant, with texting your moms? Even if that wasn’t it, I still must have hit you in a sore spot. So I insist on apologizing.”

Simkha whined and slouched and made puppy-dog eyes.

“I just,” said Simkha. “Ugh. Don’t blame yourself. I feel so out of my depth. I… had some sort of hallucination last night. And then this girl showed up. And now everybody is all ooh, you hooked up didn’t you, and I just. I just… I didn’t even think of sex as a way to read my stupid messages. I’m so stupid. And I don’t know what any of this is.”

Mika hugged Simkha.

“Hush, Simkha. Hush now. No bad-mouthing yourself. In fact I’m bullying you to accept my apology, in the form of breakfast. You’re eating it. And you’re not allowed to send me money. So there.”

Simkha hung her head.

“O…okay.”

“Oh, darling,” Mika sighed. “How about I give you two choices? First, we can talk about your worries and brain issues right now. It could help, but I’m no expert? Second, I can try to distract you with silliness. We can talk about the food and, like, whatever else comes to mind.

“Distraction. P-please.”

Mika smiled at Simkha. Simkha arranged her face in a very smile-like manner.

“You got it, beyb! Well, there’s one vegetarian and one vegan brekkie. I forgot which way you like it, so I’ll have whichever one you don’t want.”

“Oh,” said Simkha, “yeah. Thanks. I mean, uh, I’m fine either way. I’m not strictly vegan or veggie. I just, like, try to eat vegan unless I really want something non-vegan. And I almost always eat vegetarian… unless I really really want something with meat.”

“Good! We’ll lay out the lot of it and share, then.”

“Shall we, uh, go eat in my flat?”

“Sounds good,” said Mika. “I guess lucky Ms. Sleepy rose and scarpered?”

Simkha blushed. Fuck’s sake, Mika. Lucky Ms. Sleepy? Really?

“Actually, I th-think she’s still asleep. So we shouldn’t be too loud.”

Simkha scuttled ahead, acting entirely normal. By no means did she avert her eyes. It’s just she had to look down in order to fish her keys out of her thigh pocket—meanwhile Mika was over there. Simkha fumbled open the door to the stairs. She started climbing to the first floor.

“Simkha!” insisted Mika.

Simkha sagged and turned to face Mika. She didn’t see Mika.

“Simkha!”

Mika called Simkha back down to the door and onto the pavement, back towards the Jericho. Mika stood with crossed arms and an expression that made Simkha feel like a primary-school student getting lectured for reasons she didn’t understand.

Simkha made herself stand straight and face Mika. She tried to meet Mika’s eyes, but tucked her head when she couldn’t. She wrestled her eyes back and forth between Mika and the street, finally settling her gaze on Mika’s right forearm.

“Beybe, can we chat for a moment before we go up?”

“Okay,” said Simkha.

“I think I’m on a different page to yours. Can I tell you some assumptions I’m making? And then you tell me when I’m wrong?”

“Okay.”

“First, Sapphic Sensei. Amazing nickname. I am here for it. But you never want to talk about specific girls…”

“Yeah. Should… should I try to explain?”

“You can if you want to. But I’m not going to make you.”

“It’s that I. Well. I. Let’s save that for later.”

“Of course, beyb. Whenever you’re ready. But for now… I don’t think my new nickname is entirely facetious. I think you want my advice. About girls. Specific girls. That you want to date.”

Simkha took a deliberate breath. She loved to listen to others talk about their love lives. She could talk about this too, dammit.

“I… I think so.”

“Good.”

Mika watched Simkha for a few moments.

“In that case” said Mika, “I want to tell you a story.”

Simkha nodded her head yes.

“Alright,” said Mika. “Let’s go back in time. To when I was in lyceum. I was a little baby queer and there was… this girl. I really liked her. I didn’t realize she liked me too. We were classic useless lesbians. Each thought the other girl wanted to be platonic friends. Each far too anxious to talk about what was happening. One Saturday we went on an “adventure” to Paris. It was a date that we were too scared to label as a date. Well, come lunch time I went to get us crêpes from a food truck.

“I ran into a friend while I was standing in line. I tried to send him off but he just wanted to talk and talk. He didn’t realize that she and I were on this unspoken date. He followed me back to her and just… kept… yammering. I was too anxious to send him away. My not-a-girlfriend got upset. She was right to feel upset. She was pretty clear how she wanted that time for just us. Hell, I wanted that too. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell my friend to leave. And my not-a-girlfriend didn’t even know the guy. My girl and I argued, the argument blew up. We ended it. We didn’t even talk again until two years ago.”

Simkha frowned. She felt… yeah she definitely felt sad.

“Uh. I’m. Sorry? That happened? I wish you two could have talked that out. But maybe it’s better you didn’t since you didn’t meet Hrefna ‘til two years ago either. That girl missed her chance.”

“Yeah,” said Mika. “Something like that. What I want to know is if you see my point?”

Simkha concentrated. She was sure Mika’s story was an analogue to the present situation. Simkha was sure this wasn’t complicated.

“I need… You need… to go hang out with Hrefna?”

“No,” said Mika. Her smile reached her eyes and crinkled them at the corners. “This is about you and the cute little redhead asleep in your flat.”

“But I, we, she… We’re not on a date and we’re not being useless lesbians.”

“Are you certain?” asked Mika. “Because you seemed flustered. Perhaps even useless. I think you might be into her. And if you want time with her then I want you to say so. I’ll happily give you two alone time.”

Simkha huffed and ran a hand through her hair.

“Well. I mean… of course I’m into her. I mean. She’s really attractive. And I mean. Really really lovely to be around. But I mean… she’s extremely not-interested in me.”

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“Did she tell you she’s not interested?”

“Not… with words.”

“I don’t follow. How did she tell you?”

Simkha groaned.

“Okay. Let me tell you what happened last night. I… I started hallucinating again. I was caught in a delusion when she found me.”

“Oh, shit,” said Mika.

“Yeah. Huh. I bet the hallucinating is why I’m all pissy. Isn’t it?”

Simkha chewed her lip and ran a hand through her hair.

“So I was caught in a delusion. I must have been around here, real close to my flat anyway. She saw me, and recognized me from, ah, before. She helped me get home, helped me get calm. Absolute tsedekette. She headed out to do… whatever.”

Mika slowly nodded her head. “That… is not what I imagined. I apologize. I should have been more serious about all this from the start. How did she end up in your bed?”

“Fuck me,” said Simkha. “I don’t knowww-w.”

Mika raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” said Simkha. “Look. She left. I laid down. I did the exercises to wind myself down. I stopped hallucinating—at least for a little while. Until she stopped by again, about an hour later. I let her in, she seemed like she wanted to check up on me. And she did. But… I’m a clumsy bitch. I guess I tripped her up. Next thing I knew, we were both lying on the floor. And we were both wearing these necklaces. And they got tangled up. We tied ourselves together. She looked so uncomfortable about the situation. I felt so bad about it.”

Mika raised an eyebrow. The corner of her mouth twitched smilewards.

“Go on…”

Simkha sighed. She rubbed her forehead. “G*d, I’m so bad at explaining this. Look, in order to de-tangle the necklaces she kind of had to, uh, s-straddle me. She looked even less comfortable with that. But me… well. She’s so pretty and kind—my perfect woman. She was straddling me. For just a moment it was like… it was like she was pinning me there. Holding me there. Because she wanted me there… because she wanted me under her. Just for a moment… but I felt the moment in my bones. My gay little brain overloaded. And I… uh… blacked out.”

Mika squinched up her eyes. She struggled to keep a shit-eating grin off her face.

Simkha huffed in frustration. “Oh my G*d. It wasn’t like that. When I woke up, she had de-tangled us. She had moved well away. And her expression just screamed don’t bring it up, I don’t want that and you don’t want to embarrass yourself. It… it was actually pretty funny, how differently the moment affected us.”

“Simkha!” said Mika.

“Mika?“ said Simkha.

“Simkhaaa-a!” said Mika.

“That bad?” said Simkha.

“Oh my god, you pure, pure soul. Simkha. You are fucking rubbish at reading expressions.”

“Ah. That is… fair.”

“Simkha… did she tell you she wasn’t interested? With words? Out loud?”

“…sh tsnt spk nkhlsh…” said Simkha.

“What?”

“She… doesn’t speak English,” said Simkha.

Mika stared at Simkha. Mika rubbed her face. People passed by. The sun set. The sun rose. Seasons came. Seasons went. Years turned to decades. Societies collapsed. Climates evolved. Species fell. Species rose.

Mika took a breath.

“Do you like this girl?” asked Mika.

Simkha nodded yes.

“You said she’s… lovely to be around?”

Simkha nodded yes.

Mika took another breath. She propped her sunglasses atop her head. She grasped Simkha’s hands and looked directly into her eyes.

“Darling. Beautiful. Beloved. I want you to take this food before it gets cold. I want you to bring it upstairs and serve her breakfast in bed. I want you to admit to yourself that you don’t know if she likes you. And admit that she’s allowed to like you if that’s how she feels. I want you to hang out with her and enjoy yourself. Maybe try to find a language you both speak.”

“…”

“…”

“…I should have paid attention in Hebrew class.”

“Simkha, please just give her a chance. Learn from my mistakes. You don’t need to bring an uninvited friend with your metaphorical crêpes.”

Simkha slowly met Mika’s eyes.

“Simkha, please. Just try. You’re so wonderful. Please give yourself the chance you deserve.”

Simkha smiled. She hugged Mika.

“I need a minute, please shut up for a second.”

“Simkha!” grinned Mika, “Is that any way to address your sensei?”

Simkha snorted. Both girls broke into guffaws.

After a minute Simkha pulled away. She took a steadying breath.

“You might be right in general,” said Simkha. “But I still want you to come upstairs. Look, after I recovered from my blackout... the rest of the night was the opposite of an alluring experience. I started hallucinating hard. I tried to follow her lead, but also I thought she was a wizard… doing magic. And I could do magic too. And my delusions just followed her around. That’s why I texted you this morning, I thought she could have been a delusion too. That’s why I want you to come up. Would you hang around until you can meet her, and tell me what’s really happening?”

Mika chewed her lip. “Of course. Let’s go in and eat. And look, I’m really sorry I didn’t treat your text seriously enough this morning. Do you want me to text your moms for you, tell them what is happening?”

“Uh. No. No thank you.” Simkha blanched and looked away. “I need to mentally fortify myself before I tell them. Can we go back to silly talk? We were supposed to keep this light.”

“Ohhh, yeahhh. Soz, beybe. Hey, you should invite your fit new jocks over. I wanna meet them, and you sounded like you really enjoyed them. Then you can show off all your rad hot friends to your sleepy girl!”

“Shit, let me think about that. But, uh, I think the jocks already have… plans… this morning.”

“Hmmm…” wondered Mika. “Simkha… are you bothered by the idea of your friends meeting each other?”

Simkha turned to face the stairs. “Well… sure? Is that not… how everybody feels? Because I thought…”

Simkha led Mika into her flat. Simkha was surprised that most people didn’t feel discomfort at the idea of friends from different groups meeting each other. Simkha compared the feeling of friends meeting each other to the feeling of different foods on a plate touching each other.

Mika tried to follow Simkha’s friends/foods analogy. Mika was not at all surprised to learn that child-Simkha hated for foods to touch on her plate. Mika was just a tiny bit surprised to realize that twenty-two-year-old-Simkha still spent most of her meals managing the arrangement and structure of the foods on her plate. Because only certain appropriate foods should touch.

“So,” asked Mika, “I guess it’s okay when certain appropriate friends meet each other, then?”

“Hmm,” said Simkha. “Let me think about that for a moment.”

Simkha started the electric kettle. She moved last night’s drawing of her HUD to a side table. When she turned around, she found Mika setting out three mismatched plates with forks.

“I… uh… I think my analogy was wrong,” said Simkha. “I can’t remember ever feeling comfortable about the idea of any of my friends meeting.”

“Huh,” wondered Mika, “any chance you recall a similar feeling from any other circumstances?

“Maybe… maybe the fear you feel in class when you get an exam, and realize you studied the wrong books? I dunno. I need to think about that.”

Simkha took serving spoons and placed them in the takeaway portions in the center of her little table. Simkha felt a little overwhelmed when she looked at their spread: they had fried eggs, sliced avocado, veggie sausage, vegan sausage, mushrooms fried in butter, mushrooms fried in oil, baked beans, grilled tomatoes, and a half dozen slices of perfectly browned toast.

Simkha took a centering breath. She did feel better because Mika was here with her. But Simkha also felt this hard-to identify sensation in her stomach, and that left her hesitant to fix herself a plate. She was doubly hesitant because now she was over-thinking which foods should be allowed to touch. Simkha considered waking Tali to come eat. But Tali still seemed to be asleep—and Simkha didn’t want to deprive Tali of something as rare and precious as sleep.

Simkha opened her mouth to ask Mika’s opinion about waking Tali when—

Bang bang bang!

Simkha jumped. By the time she had processed this new development and turned to face the front door, Mika had stood up, looked through the peephole, and pulled the door open.

“Oh… hello.” purred Mika. “Let’s see. Short black hair. Trainers. And damn (!!!), you have great thighs beyb. You must be one of Simkha’s well-fit jocks?”

Leg Day stepped inside. She looked around with an unmoving expression. “Good morning. Hi, Simkha. I hope I’m not interrupting.”

“H-hey, uh, Leg Day,” said Simkha.

“She calls you Leg Day!” said Mika. “That’s so good! And I was already trying to convince her to introduce me to you and her other jocks. I’m Mika! I used to be Simkha’s TA, but I’m just a regular friend now. Well, I say regular friend… but I prefer to think of myself as Simkha’s own Sapphic Sensei.”

Leg Day slipped her trainers next to the other shoes by the door, pausing momentarily when Mika said “Sapphic Sensei.” She held up a bag of takeaway from the Jericho.

“Sim-bob, I thought you seemed a little down last night. So I decided to swing by to show that we’re serious about being friends. I brought an extra brekkie spread to bribe you with. Was still gonna drag you back to the Jericho, but I see you’ve got something else going on.”

Leg Day looked at the food, then at Simkha, then at Mika.

“Are we sure I’m not interrupting anything? Is Sapphic Sensei a euphemism for girlfriend? Friend-with-benefits? Or…”

Mika smirked and threw an arm around Leg Day.

“Nope! I’m just a good friend. I’m dating this total hottie studying at the Government School. I think of myself as Simkha’s… coach. She’s fully available. And I want to help her open up to all the cute girls with an eye on her. In fact… we should keep it down,” Mika bounced her eyebrows and gestured to Simkha’s closed bedroom door. “Simkha’s got this cute little redhead asleep in her bed right now.”

Leg Day looked to the bedroom door, then to the front door, then to Simkha. She nodded slowly.

“G*d damn it, Mika…” groaned Simkha. “It’s not like that. Leg Day, you are not interrupting anything, so please grab a chair. The girl in there is simply a friend who showed up last night and needed a place to crash. Didn’t even kiss me.”

Leg Day narrowed her eyes infinitesimally.

“Her loss,” deadpanned Leg Day.

Mika looked at Simkha and raised an eyebrow. Simkha’s eye twitched.

“So…” said Leg Day. “Tell me about life as a Sapphic Sensei.”