Winds blew harshly, and with them came torrents of snow. The snow was either kicked up with the wind or had fallen from the clouds above. Snow surrounded us for as far as the eye could see. The wind was strong enough at times to make me stumble, and for moments at a time me and Alisson would have to hunker down, to wait for the wind to die out. Our range of visibility was quite limited, the distance being obfuscated by raging clouds of snow in the distance.

It’s getting dark. And the cold is only worsening. The winds have steadily been picking up, and the clouds have thickened above. It’s been exhausting trudging through such deep snow and through such heavy winds for almost three days now. Alisson and I haven’t spoken at all since we donned our masks. Just silence. He must’ve been shaken up harder by my words than I thought.

A gust of wind picked up in intensity, and both me and Alisson fell to our knees, grasping the snow with our hands, bracing ourselves against the wind. Through the wind howling at my ears, I just barely made out Alisson’s voice.

“We’ll have to make camp for the night soon.”

Alisson finally broke out days long silence. I could barely recognize his voice from under his mask. The bout of wind dying down, me and Alisson stood. I wiped my mask with a hand, clearing the visor of snow.

Glancing around wearily, and short of breath, I replied, “There aren’t exactly any tenable positions…”

There wasn’t anything in sight. Just snow. Fields of stretching snow. No mud, no debris in the snow, it was like my vision was black and white. The suffocating feeling from wearing my heavy mask wasn’t helping – The glass over my eyes only served to dull the environment further.

“No – These clouds are only getting worse – We need to fortify an area before we freeze to death, tenable or not.”

Alisson responded.

I suppose it doesn’t matter if our camp is defensible out here. It’s not exactly like anything is going to attack us. Nothing is alive out here. No beasts, no flowers, no trees, no dirt, no running water, nothing.

‘Deadzone’ I could’ve figured.

We want to guard ourselves from the temperature and the winds while we sleep, and conserve as much heat as possible. Fortunately the snow here is malleable.

We started by digging down into the snow, and then forming ‘bricks’ and laying them then out. Alisson and I worked silently, our masks fogging up due to our heavy breath. The chilling air only urged on our work, and our snow shelter was completed quickly.

Inside, there was hardly any room to move, however, the heavy winds of the blizzard that once blew against us now only existed as a howl across our shelter walls.

That made the cold at the very least bearable, but bearable wasn’t healthy. My fingers were freezing cold, and so were my toes. With all the layers and gear that the both of us are wearing, I was expecting to not have to worry about insulation. After three straight days through nothing but a snowscape however, any insulation we had has long since been nullified by ever decreasing temperatures. Freezing moisture has accumulated throughout my body. It’s not exactly safe to sleep like this.

There aren’t any materials out here to bulid a fire, but Marmel warned us about this, and we brought a few logs of our own. I say, the more we burn, the better. I don’t want to be lugging around a bunch of wood.

However much I hate the added weight, I’m glad we brought them. Our kindling, much like everything else beneath our clothes, is damp with melted snow, but Alisson managed to get a fire going regardless. I first thought that a fire inside of a snow hut would just melt the damn thing down, but it turns out the melted inner layer of snow just refreezes and adds to the insultation. So, with a tiny hole in the top of our hut for smoke, we had ourselves a little slice of coziness in the middle of this barren snowscape.

Winds howled against the walls of our encampment as Alisson and I stared into the fire through our masks. The gleam of the light reflecting in our glass lenses.

As Marmel advised, there wasn’t any point in lugging around bedding when we’re already wearing so much crap that we can essentially lay down anywhere and not feel a thing. Well, sleeping in Freigat for a couple weeks will help too. On this point though, we can’t take our gear off either. It really stinks. I wish I could give my skin some time to breath.

My eyes drew to Alisson. And, in such a situation…

Isn’t this the perfect trope for me to make a move on Alisson - In a cold place like this, where two lovers must share their bodily heat to survive-! Along the way – one thing leads to another and…hehehehe…

Alright that’s enough fantasizing. There’s no way we’re taking off our protective gear. Not only is the Black Energy of course a deterrent, it’s also far too time consuming.

So, me and Alisson sat in silence, staring into the fire, the environment of the shelter ever warming up to a more comfortable level. Many times, me and Alisson would glance at each other at just the right time to meet eye to eye through our masks, to which he hastily averted his gaze.

Eventually, I shuffled near him, shoulder to shoulder. I knew this was uncomfortable for him, but I did it anyway, hiding a sly smirk under my mask. Alisson shoulder’s slowly shrunk up by his head submissively the more I stared at him. We haven’t talked much since I chewed him out when we entered the Deadzone, and it’s clear that my stare alone is enough to make him feel guilty. He knows that what I said was true. It seemed now that I was only beaming scorn at him through my eyes.

So then why was I doing it? Well, I can’t very well play out my fantasies, but I can least loosen the mood. After a long few minutes, when Alisson’s shoulders started to fall back down to normalcy, I let out a sudden sigh and turned, and fell back into Alisson. I was as big as he was, so this made him fall over with a yelp of surprise.

“Are you ever going to loosen up, Alisson?” I said lazily, twisting my back into Alisson’s side.

Alisson looked up, his body shrinking away from me, but there wasn’t any escape.

“W-what do you mean?”

I let out another purposely loud sigh. “Business this, business that...Don’t you ever have fun? Don’t you ever laugh?”

“I, I, of course I do.”

I closed my eyes on Alisson’s dishonesty once more. “What’s the point in all it? The lying. You lie to yourself. Why’s that?”

The air was still heavy, despite my purposely insouciant tone. Alisson didn’t respond, so eventually I careened my head to look at him. I saw with my own eyes, his dull face. His eyes glazed, and his countenance lifeless of any emotion.

I was momentarily stunned by his expression, but I decided that I had already dug myself a large enough hole, and there wasn’t any point in stopping.

“How come you can only talk about feelings when someone’s life is on the line? How come you can only do anything that isn’t combat when you still think it’s a battlefield?”

Again, Alisson didn’t respond. I frowned with a tilt of my head, but pressed on.

“Why do you treat me like I’m foreign to you…I like you a lot Alisson – we’re not just an apprentice and a teacher anymore, right?”

Alisson eyes widened, and his deathly expression broke finally on my last words.

It took a lot out of me say that, but it’s only the ‘like’ word. Not the other one. Maybe I should’ve said that one instead, but with Alisson’s condition, I wasn’t sure exactly what would happen.

“Why do you apologize so much? And why do you always back down when I say something different? It’s like you have no confidence in yourself.”

Alisson looked down. His hands started to shake and shoulders started to quiver. I sat up off of him, and stared him down.

“How come you can act so merciless and scary but yet still wear such a gentle smile and go out of your way protect others?”

I stared at him for a long moment, trying to gauge his expression.

Then, he did something I wasn’t expecting.

A droplet of liquid streamed down from one of his eyes, followed by another, and then another.

My mouth parted in total surprise as I sat blankly. I’m…at a loss for words to say the least.

He cried with his usual, short, vapid breaths; silently, his eyes cringed. His limbs were loose by his sides, and he sat crumpled, like a puppet with no strings. He didn’t say a word, he just sat there, sobbing.

I…I broke him. All it took was just asking some rhetorical questions, focused at him.

I shuffled closer to Alisson.

“Don’t worry…I'll always be here…You won’t be alone.”

That only seemed to make him sob more, but I couldn’t exactly tell because he was silent in doing so. I only had his rapid breaths and bobbing shoulders to work off of.

His head was all covered up by the mask, but regardless I caressed his head slowly.

Just say something. Anything.

Despite my small smile, I was terrified. What if he just keeps crying, and never speaks again? It’d be all my fault.

Before I knew it, Alisson’s rapidly bobbing chest became slower and slower; and, when I next looked into his mask, his eyes were closed, his mouth parted, peacefully asleep.

After a deep breath, I frowned guiltily. “I’m…I’m sorry Alisson…”

To say I wasn’t expecting this outcome from a few rhetorical questions was an understatement. It only made me more confused about what exactly is in Alisson’s head.

…

Alisson ran as fast as his legs would carry him. But it didn’t matter. No matter how far he sprinted, how much he pleaded, there was no stopping the inevitable. The streets of Sidonia’s Capital were bathed in the dark blue of a summer’s moon, the cobblestone underfoot radiating with the light of the dark, dreamy sky. No one was out on the streets. Curfew was in effect, and at this late an hour, in this part of the town, no one would see him.

That’s why Alisson chose this part of the town to run to, however. It was so stupid; Why did he run from his fear, but yet refuse to ask anyone or bring anyone in to help?

Eventually, the end of the road approached him. This particular part of the Capital overlooked the ocean, and with the moon out, shining its bright rays of azure, the sight of the light reflecting off of the ocean was mesmerizing. Knowing that there were no other routes, Alisson’s shoulder’s slumped, and he cringed his eyes, knowing what awaited him, being powerless to stop it.

For a moment he had a chance to breathe, and basked in the serene glow of night. He tried to forget it all, the report, Jackson…For a moment Alisson wished this state of peace to be perpetual. Why did this have to happen? Why was he to suffer?

Why did Jackson die?

He clenched his fist, about to break out into tears, when he heard steps on the cobblestone behind him. Knowing who it was, but accepting the fact that he wasn’t going to escape, Alisson turned; showing his pitiful countenance, on the break of tears.

“Here I thought I trained you well…Alisson…” A large figure strode forth from the darkness, and into the light of the moon, a creeping smile across their face. “The second you try to do something on your own, you not only fail but then you defy me…”

Alisson looked up to his sister, shaking, and about to cry, he sputtered,

“I-I’m…I’m n-not…”

I’m not your dog!

But, in the face of Apophria’s derisive grin, Alisson could only stutter, fearful of what she would do in response to such a brazen show of scorn.

“You can’t even speak properly, and Sidonia thought that you had what it took to train an apprentice. You were perfect when I left you Alisson, but now…I think some correction is needed.”

Alisson dully spotted the syringes that Apophria flourished in between the fingers of one of her hands. He knew what was coming. There wasn’t any stopping it. There wasn’t any objecting. He broke out into a silent sob, and collapsed to his knees.

“You’re lucky I don’t manipulate your memories with these…” Apophria chuckled to herself as she approached.

He didn’t know whether it was his dead apprentice that was causing him to cry, or the fact that Apophria was about to once again put a leash on him.

…

Alisson didn’t know precisely where he was. He never did when it was ‘bed time’. He knew that it was underground, but for all he knew, he was on the other side of the world, fifty stories underground – There wasn’t any escape. He was in some sort of smooth, stone room, with the only light source being an oil lamp on the floor nearby. He couldn’t see the rest of the room, only his little corner of it. He didn’t know what was in the darkness before his eyes, mere meters away.

His body lay splayed across the stone ground, his eyes glazed and dull. Dry tears covered his face, but contrary to this he smiled to himself a small, crazed smile. His eyes weren’t wide, his eyebrows were not raised, nothing about his facial expression supported his smile. His lips twitched, and every so often his head would twitch to the right. He stared into the gray stone floor, a line of drool leaking out of one of the corners of his mouth. Around him across the floor were empty syringes, their contents long having been emptied into him.

There were many contraptions hidden in the darkness, Alisson hadn’t ever seen them, but he was nonetheless all too familiar with them. Bruises, cuts, and dry blood dotted his body, and his clothes were ripped and tarnished.

The indomitable Alisson, heir of the Nuam house, a prodigy among prodigies, a tall, prideful figure that stared into opposition with a steeled face and executed Sidonia’s will with extreme vehemence. This is what he was reduced to.

Really, which was Alisson’s common state of being? At this point, that visage of his galvanized will was far away, and blurry. This was more fitting. He was more fit as a dog, as a pet. That was all. That was all he’d ever amount to.

He wouldn’t be able to escape. No one would ever know. His sister kept healing scrolls handy and always made sure to fit Alisson in new clothes after the fact. It was as if nothing had transpired. He was left only with the wide eyes of horror across his face, but with the rest of him being in fine condition, no one drew any conclusions. They just thought he was off, and avoided him, with their smiles of hospitality but no real care for his wellbeing.

He wanted to tell them. He wanted to cry out for help. But he knew that would only make matters worse. The ones he trusted the most, the ones that he believed cared for him the most, they’d only share his fate. He didn’t need to burden them. He’d only be a leech, dragging them in and selfishly begging, only to have them killed.

“You really made a big mess today…But that’s probably because I was so eager…” Apophria stepped out of the darkness, chuckling to herself.

She wiped her hands against each other of a job well done, having disposed of Alisson’s various bodily fluids that had dirtied whatever was in the darkness.

His poor performance, his second apprentice perishing, left a stain on Apophria. Alisson doubted that she cared however. She was never seen in the public eye, and he doubted that she cared about her reputation. It was all just a fine excuse for her to have her way with him.

Perhaps taking a moment to admire the sight of her work, Apophria stood over Alisson for a second in silence, smiling. Her smile faded suddenly and she said,

“Open up.”

Knowing what that meant, Alisson obeyed, and with a flash, his immature Opensen manifested. Ears twitched on his head naively, and two tails spun excitedly in the air, as if they had a mind of their own, unknowing of the current situation and simply anticipating playful physical activity.

Alisson’s tails were halted in their swaying when a hand coddled both of them and held them firmly.

His tails and ears were essentially hers. Apophria was the one that so quickly and brutally forced Alisson into unlocking them. He was one of the few his age that had his Opensen on demand, and he had his sister to thank for that.

She clenched her hand around the tails, and with a single lift, pulled them up. Being magnitudes stronger than Alisson, she easily lifted his light frame with a single hand, the strain of his tails being pulled from his hip acutely aware in his mind. However, all Alisson could do was keep smiling with a glazed expression. Everything about his mind was destroyed, violated, taken over, tainted. There was only one little part of Alisson that sat back, watching it all happen, deep inside him.

“I guess we’ll call it a night…well…” Apophria looked at her wrist with a sly smile. “…it’s been a little longer than that.”

She brought Alisson up so that his blank face was inches from her own.

“I’ll make sure that you never get another apprentice. That you never get anyone else. Do you hear? I’m the only one you’ll ever know. Without me you’ll be alone. All alone. No one else cares about you.”

She grinned slyly, her mouth wide and her eyes sharp with some sort of devilish glow. She didn’t look appealing in the slightest. Her uncouth countenance ruined her good looks with something evil, and ugly, that bent and distorted her face.

“Y-yes…Appy…”

Alisson muttered through his tiny smile and glazed eyes. Apparently satisfied with his response, Apophria tossed Alisson an inch up in the air, and her right hand let go of his tails, and shot for his neck, switching where she was holding him. She pressed him against the nearby stone wall, clamping shut his throat. She watched on with glee as slowly, Alisson’s body panicked at the lack of air, and soon was shaking and tossing back and forth subconsciously. However, he didn’t raise a hand of opposition directly at Apophria.

Bubbly saliva leaked from Alisson’s mouth, but he still smiled with those glazed, unfeeling eyes. His vision blurred. He saw for a moment, out of the haze, the face of his apprentice. Jackson Adrankins. Alisson had considered him a brother. A real sibling. Someone that he cared for, and someone who reciprocated it. Like a flower, Alisson had nurtured Jackson, watching him grow and seeing him be able to stand on his own volition.

Alisson knew now that it hadn’t been enough. Alisson had done a poor job of it. He had ill prepared his apprentice. He killed Jackson. The haze of his vision blurred even more.

Out of it though, he spotted something magnificent on his sister’s collar. That sharp insignia of his lady. Without thinking he reached for it. Of course, with his state, he didn’t get very far, and neither would his sister ever allow him to touch her like that. But he wasn’t thinking about that, he only saw clearly that symbol.

S-save me…Sidonia!

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For a moment he smiled for real, seeing that holy glow, that overwhelming light, and then her, his Lady, outreaching a hand toward him with her smile of care. He looked up into her face, feeling relief, swearing his absolute loyalty. She was the only one that had truly saved him. The insignia sent a wave of religious ecstasy and fervor through him, before he finally passed out, and was spared the hardship of living, and given the luxury of unconsciousness.

…

The glowing and holy visage of Sidonia was replaced however when Alisson awoke. Replaced by the face of Celis, who stared at him with a small smile. The fire had long since gone out, and the snow surrounding them was bright. With the luminosity of the surrounding snow, it still felt as though he were in a dream.

It was morning.

Alisson stared blankly at Celis for a moment, processing the events of his dream and remembering Celis’s words. He would’ve been able to return to normal, and act like none of it transpired; However, there was one realization Alisson had that caused his will to shatter.

The dark rings under Celis’s eyes.

Alisson stared at her, with the expression of a scared puppy dog. The contrast of Apophria’s derisive grin and Celis’s small, caring smile was made plain before his eyes.

Alisson couldn’t stop himself. For the second time in twenty-four hours, he broke out crying, digging his head into Celis’s abdomen. He wailed aloud, although muffled by his mask and Celis’s clothing.

Celis stared blankly, her mouth agape.

Alisson didn’t know why exactly tears now fell from his face, but he felt such an urge to bury himself in Celis, to grip her as if his life depended on it.

Was it because he saw something in her that reminded him of Jackson? What if she died like him? What if he never saw her again?

Was it because he was simply traumatized, and wanted a familiar figure to fall upon in weakness?

Was it because of that terrible feeling in his body? That shot of tightness through his wrist, that strain across his chest, and that rising sensation that flourished at his eyes?

But ultimately, it all stemmed from one fact. Celis cared.

He didn’t want to let go. He wanted to feel her warm body under his grip forever. He wanted to cry until his eyes became desiccated.

Not a single other thought was in his head. That’s all he wanted.

And for a long while, that’s all he got.

…

I couldn’t move. That’s how tightly Alisson was gripping me. For the first time ever, I heard his voice when he cried. Weak, pathetic – It was nothing compared to the commanding tone he could use in other instances. Amidst it all, I didn’t know what to think of it. Seeing his face, I almost wanted to cry too.

He must’ve had another dream. People don’t just wake up crying, much less attaching themselves to another like a leech and not letting go. This fact though gives me some insight about what his dream was. It wasn’t something simply saddening, it was something scary. Something terrible. Something that he was seeking solace for in me.

I thought that Alisson was going to wake up after he cried himself to sleep, but he didn’t, not until the sun rose. I would say that I’m angry about not getting any shut eye myself, but that thought didn’t cross my mind. I was too locked on Alisson’s expression. The way his face contorted, the way that at some points his heart beat like he was sprinting in his sleep.

It all caught me off guard, and I had no clue what to make of it, what it was about, or what Alisson was even crying about. I just stared at him, my brow furrowed, my mouth agape, not even trying to hold or calm him.

I didn’t know how long the two of us sat there, as the morning winds howled against our shelter. Eventually, Alisson shifted upward, still holding me, sniveling. His mask was so fogged that I could barely see his reddened face. His chest bobbed heavily.

“I…I…I-!”

He sputtered, but didn’t get out anything cohesive, before he suddenly again attacked me. This time, he embraced me high, wrapping his arms under mine, and burying his face in my neck in perhaps the closest we’ve ever been were it not for the protective equipment. With his weight on me, I was forced backwards into the wall of the shelter, almost completely on my back.

For another five minutes he alternated between vapid breathes and wailing, still clutching me so tightly that if weren’t for all the layers I was wearing, It’d hurt my skin.

Finally, he once again looked up to me, his breathing calming.

“I…I-! Never go! Nev-!”

Were all the words he could get out before once again he broke out into uncontrollable sobbing and fell upon me once more.

It was at this point that I realized my own indecision. Alisson was in no state or form to even speak, but thanks to my inaction, I was forcing him to act. I could see that from his attempts to speak, he had no control of his body or his mind. It was all in shambles.

I didn’t want to say anything, because I didn’t know anything that was going through his head. I need to calm him down enough at least to the point where he can get his feelings out. I didn’t want to baby him, but at the same time I didn’t want to do nothing.

I took a deep breath. I wrapped my arms around Alisson, and reciprocated his unyielding grip. The two of us sat like that for a while, unmoving other than Alisson’s shudders.

I decided to ask him a question after some time. An open ended one.

“Tell me, Alisson. Tell me everything.”

By this point his breathing had been calmed by my hug, and he was at the very least consolable. He lifted his head, and stared into my eyes. He swallowed.

“N-never…never leave me? Okay?”

Just saying those words, I could see his face redden more, and more tears form at his eyes. It was evidently extremely hard for him to manifest that statement. He stared at me, awaiting my response, all the while tears falling down his face.

I replied with a smile, “I’ll never leave you. I promise.”

Alisson took a few short breaths, before once again his head loosened and fell into my side. This time though, he didn’t break out into more crying. His grip too loosened, and his breathing calmed as I felt his chest bob with a couple deep breaths. Until finally, he let out a sigh, and after so long since he’d awoken, his chest finally lay still, and stable. His entire body was loose, like he was once again a doll with no strings.

I feel like we could lay here forever. Until even the snow of the Deadzone melted away, and new life sprung. However long that would take.

I don’t know how to feel. It was so surreal.

Alisson finally lifts himself off of me, averting his eyes. His mask was filled with moisture, but for the most part, his expression said he was in control of his being again. He brought his eyes to mine, and started,

“I’m sorry…no,” He lightly shook his head, perhaps remembering how I asked of why he apologized so often. “I’m not sorry. I’m okay now, thanks to you…T-thank you.” He leaned in his head. “Really. I-I…I really…I…” For a moment his breath quickened, and it looked like Alisson was about to break out into tears again when midsentence he took a deep breath, and then continued. “I really appreciate you.”

On those last words his eyes widened, and a blush of embarrassment covered his face. He averted his eyes, trying to change the subject but all that surrounded him were more sources for embarrassment. Deciding to address our positions, he hurried looked down, trying to get up, saying,

“A-and I’m sorr-” He stopped himself short before apologizing again. “I-I mean…I…”

Without apologizing for falling all over me, I knew that Alisson had nothing else to say. Nothing came to his mind, and he wore this on this countenance plainly.

“It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize Alisson.”

Without giving him a moment, I reached up, and pulled him back down toward me. He yelped, and his body tensed up, but after a second loosened. His face was right above my own, and he stared down at me, with the expression of a scared puppy.

“Tell me Alisson,” I started, “Tell me the truth. Tell me everything.”

My abrasiveness was only justified by the fact that I could foresee Alisson’s next moves. He was going to back off, and lie. He would just laugh everything off, and try to make me forget about it. I resolved then and there that I wasn’t going to let him lie to me again.

Alisson looked conflicted for a moment, his eyes darting this way and that way. But being so close to my face, there wasn’t much escape. He eventually conceded, with a sigh.

“F-fine…”

Despite saying this, and looking away pensively, he kept quiet for almost a minute, getting his thoughts together.

“First…can…” He looked to me. “Can you l-let go of me?”

“Ah…”

I realized with a dumb expression that it maybe wasn’t the best strategy to have a serious conversation mere inches away from each other.

Despite getting off of me and recentering himself, Alisson kept oddly close to me. It was something I never saw him do before. He purposely kept a shoulder against one of mine at all times. After gulping down some water, and staring deeply into the burnt out fire, he pushed himself even closer against me, before finally starting to speak.

“Have…have I told you of my second apprentice?”

I nodded, and Alisson continued. “Well…I lied…I always say that the deaths of my apprentices don’t bother me anymore…b-but…they…they…”

Alisson took a deep breath a shook his head, stopping himself from once again breaking out into a fit of sobbing. “They do. I see their faces. I’m the one who killed them. I didn’t bring them up strong enough. It’s just fact.”

After a moment, he looked to me. “Now do you see why I was so tough on you? Even now I…I don’t want to lose you too, Celis…”

I remembered how hard he hit me all those months ago. That strike of punishment that sent me into a cardiac arrest. That wasn’t malicious on Alisson’s part. The more ferocious and aggressive he was toward me, was just how much he cared about me, how much he wanted me to live.

“Without my apprentices…I had no one. All my peers in schooling were just acquaintances…every teacher I ever met just thought I was some model student that didn’t need any help or interaction. Even my own father…he still thinks, he still thinks even now that I’m perfectly fine…Everyone has this, perception, of me…And, and…” He shook his head in anger, “I’ve just been too damned prideful to do anything about it!”

Alisson glanced away. I laid a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry.” He looked up to me, and I continued, “I understand. I’m the same way after all.” I smiled.

Alisson’s eyes widened, and for a moment it seemed that he was going to cry again, but instead his face broke into a smile, and he looked away, staring into the burnt out fire.

“It was…it was only my sister that knew that back then…” Alisson’s smile faded, and so did mine. “I, I remember I let my mouth slip back in that forest about her, do you remember?” I nodded my head, and Alisson continued, “She…she…” Alisson cringed his eyes. He started to shake, and once again I thought he was going to cry. I again laid a hand on his back and after a time he took a deep breath, and continued,

“She was my master after school. For so many years I was under her wing. She brought me along everywhere, and made me do as much of the work as she could to toughen me up.”

Alisson went silent for a while, before he picked up again, “I, I know that doesn’t sound bad, it’s sound good even, for such a diligence to be granted upon me but…but the things she made me do…the things she did to me if I did something wrong , or even just because she felt like it…they were…”

Alisson’s eyes were wide, and he shivered. He went silent, so after a while, I asked him,

“Tell me. Don’t spare me the details.”

He looked to me, surprised, but reluctantly did as I asked.

For a long few minutes I sat there. Listening to Alisson’s words.

My eyes widened as the minutes passed. My heart was wrangled this way and that way, and at times I almost wanted to throw up. The words that left Alisson’s lips were brutal, alien, and unfamiliar. I could never match them to his face, and most of them I couldn’t even conjure up a mental image, or if I could, my throat would clamp shut in disgust.

But above all, the feeling that resonated within me from hearing Alisson words, of hearing of how he was abused, used, and forced into doing such things…

Anger, rage, fury; coursed through me. When I laid my eyes on Alisson’s melancholic stare, I knew now what was behind those eyes of his. I knew now what his sister did to him. How she treated him. After Alisson was finished recounting, my fists were clenched. It was such an odd state of mind, I wanted to puke, I was shaking in terror and anger, I pitied Alisson, I feared Alisson’s ability to endure, but most of all,

I wanted to dig my stilettos into Apophria Vi Nuam’s gut. Over and over, until her entrails covered my hands and spilt across the floor, until her skin went pale and until every drop of her blood drained from her body.

Hearing Alisson’s words, I wanted to at the same time hug him, but he was already so close to me, so the most I could do to satiate my intense surge of protectiveness was to only push myself against him as he did me.

“B-but…back then, “ Alisson started once more, “Appy was the only one I knew. She was the only one I had…” He shuddered, and then looked to me. “That’s why, that’s why I said that…why I asked you to never leave me…Do…do you really, do you really mean what you said?”

I smirked with conviction.

“I’m not going anywhere, Alisson. I promised.” I reassured him.

He looked down. “T-tha…thank you…I, I wouldn’t know how to live without you…I don’t want to go back to it…to being alone.”

His words quite literally made me skip a beat.

‘He wouldn’t know how to live without me’

He wouldn’t know how to live without me.

I smiled to myself sadly. There I have it. That’s what Alisson thinks of me. The world.

Despite this good news, after hearing everything Alisson has said, it didn’t bring much joy to me.

I could see it in Alisson’s eyes, in his words, and I’ve had the growing suspicion for some time now: He’s suicidal. Not in the sense that he’s actively trying to end his own life, but in the sense that there isn’t much holding him to this world.

“What’s it all for, Alisson?” I asked him. “I asked last night but you didn’t give me an answer. Why do you live?”

He looked up, his eyes heavy. If I had asked him this question on a different occasion, I knew for a fact he’d just say ‘Sidonia’ and that’d be that.

“It used to be my sister. When I was young, I wanted to be as strong as she was – That was before I had met her. Afterwards, it was my apprentices. Jackson Adrankins, his smile brought me smiles…then, Bunzen Al Suzu, her doting nature even though she was inexperienced made me feel a need to correct her. Then, it was Leukini Al Suzu…”

His voice drifted off. I titled my head.

“Isn’t she still alive?” I asked.

Alisson frowned. “Leukini holds it over me every time I see her: That I was the one that killed her sister. She was as scared of me as she was the enemy. She looked at me with scorn, with suspicion. At first I thought she’d grow out of it but…It crushed me. She hated me. We, we never got to know each other well. Everything was business.”

Was that why Alisson was always so afraid to offend me? He was scared I’d turn out like his most recent apprentice…It explains a lot about how he falls over himself to apologize all the time, something that thankfully he’s stopped himself from doing thanks to my reprimands. It’s healthier to say ‘thank you’ once than ‘I’m sorry’ a hundred times.

Alisson sighed.

“We’re…we’re making bad time. We need to move.”

He began to stand, but I lifted my arm out, and stopped him.

“There’s something else, I wanted to ask.”

Alisson looked back at me, and was probably taken in my pleading stare. He reluctantly sat back down.

“Your sister, you said Sidonia put a stop to her? How long ago was that?”

Alisson’s mouth furrowed, and it was evident he didn’t want to speak, but did so anyway. “About a century ago, right when I started to take command and form the 51st. I guess you could say I also live for them as well, my comrades, my subordinates, my brothers in arms. But…”

He looked up, and clasped his hands together in prayer.

“It’s all thanks to Sidonia…” He drifted off for a moment, and I saw something in his eyes. He squinted for a moment, in doubt, before suddenly his eyes widened and he smiled uncannily, with some sort of blue sparkle in eyes that wasn’t there before. “It’s all thanks to Sidonia that I’m freed of my sister’s damnation.” He closed his eyes with a smile. I squinted at him in suspicion. “I owe Sidonia my life, everything I have…I have to obey, I have to carry out her orders, I have to-!?”

Suddenly, Alisson’s eyes twisted open, and his face contorted into shock, he convulsed forward, clutching his throat and his abdomen. That blue sparkle in his eyes flicked off, as he stared with wide eyes through the ground.

At first I thought he coughed up blood, something that was now a common occurrence, but it wasn’t the day of the week for that, and no blood had shown. I wrapped an arm around Alisson with a healing spell for good measure.

“Are you alright?” I asked tepidly, staring into his mask. His face was covered in a cold sweat.

“I…I…” He slowly opened the palms of his hands, and stared into them. “I, I didn’t…I wasn’t going to say that…it’s like, it’s like I had no control of myself…”

He seemed terrified.

“You’re alright, don’t worry.”

I held him, and he took a few deep breaths, calming himself. He put hand to his mask. “…Now my head hurts like I’ve got a migraine…”

I squinted my eyes in suspicion. Come to think of it, whenever Alisson ever praises Sidonia, or talks about his duty, I see that look in his eyes.

It seems the reason why he’s so loyal, why he’s so intent on paying back and obeying Sidonia, was because she saved him from his sister. Or at least, that was the answer Alisson himself gave.

…

It was late in the morning, thanks to Alisson’s conundrum.

He smiled to himself. Normally he’d shower reprimand upon himself for such a disgraceful scene. But today had been different. He felt warm. He felt sure of himself. He awoke thinking despair, but stood knowing care. It was all thanks to Celis. How glad he was. How glad he was. That he had such an apprentice, such a friend. She knew him.

He couldn’t help but feel guilty. If Celis was like him, then, wouldn’t she be suffering in some way as well? He asked her this when they first stepped foot onto the snow that morning, and she only replied, with cheerful smile,

“I am to you what you are to me.”

Alisson felt inclined to dig deeper, to doubt if she was really so simple, and so honest. But, he stopped himself short. He’d believe her. He would put his trust in Celis. He would be honest with her. It worked so well after he’d awoken after all.

He looked on at Celis. A friend she was. One that doubled the joy of Alisson’s life by experiencing it with him, and one that halved his pain by burdening it with him. Normally, Alisson wouldn’t allow others to share his grief, but he knew now that Celis wanted to. She wanted to help him, she wanted to care for him; all Alisson had to do was let her.

Surely, bawling all over her was an…embarrassing, circumstance, but one that in the moment, felt so nice. To not cry into a pillow. To feel someone else’s arms wrapped around yourself – The chills that were sent down his spine from such warmth seemed to evaporate even the coldest snow that he treaded upon.

From here on out, Celis had taken Alisson’s hand, and together, they trudged through the snow and the winds of Deadzone. The fog loomed in the distance, the wind pounded at their sides, threatening to push them over, and the snow beneath seemed to reach and grab at their feet as to slow them down further. Alisson could only smile to himself, his gaze affixed on Celis’s hand holding his, urging him on forward.

He just thought in his head, over and over, Celis’s smiles, and her words, and her hugs, and on top of it all, her promise.

‘I’ll never leave you. I promise.’

It made his head dizzy. It made tears well at his eyes, not out of sadness, but joy. He wanted to sit down and cry, cry out in happiness. He couldn’t fully accept it, but he wanted to. He knew that with time, this hazy happiness, which made him feel like he was on a high, would wear off, but he didn’t want it to. He just wanted to cry and cry, cry for until he was satiated, in joy, with a smile on his face.

That’s how disconnected Alisson was with the environment. Despite the words that had left his mouth, about obeying Sidonia and seeing through the mission, he didn’t care about where he was, what he was doing, as long as Celis was in his sight, he couldn’t care less. It was not dissimilar to his harshest moments of Freigat. He wasn’t thinking about Sidonia, he wasn’t thinking about his obligations, he wasn’t even thinking of his fellow fratello, only Celis, and himself; and if felt this time, great. Great that nothing would ever be his alone to fear, or his alone to fight.

So, when Celis recoiled suddenly, letting go of his hand, saying simply,

“S-S-Sequitur!”

She fell backward into the snow, crawling away from something evidently charging straight for her. Something that Alisson couldn’t see. But something, something that interrupted Alisson’s thoughts, Alisson’s bliss, Alisson’s Celis.

Within less than a second, Alisson’s tame face flashed to anger, his eyes seemed to redden, his Opensen activated, his Bacilla spewed forth, he drew Enhérejär and with a decisive and lightening, explosive slash, he fired all of his mana in one Pictunee spell, which burned across the snowscape like a laser, vaporizing through all matter in its path.

It was safe to say that the area in front of himself and Celis was for a moment one of the most dangerous places in the world. His tails and Bacilla came crashing down onto the snow with explosive force created a visible shockwave in the falling snow, and his slash, for a moment, rended the winds around them.

All was silent as Alisson sat in front of Celis, breathing heavily, his eyes darting around, Enhérejär simmering with heat. His Bacilla wriggled around in a few meter radius, slowly, but evidently poised to strike at a moment’s notice, their tips bubbling with red.

“They’re…they’re gone.”

Celis said, shakily getting to her feet. Alisson was quick to help her, and hold onto her hand tightly. His Bacilla slowly retracted back into Alisson’s tails. Celis swallowed nervously, eyeing the wriggling appendages surrounding her and Alisson protectively.

“I suppose we both have our fair share of problems...” Alisson smiled. “But I’ll help!” He nodded to himself, “I won’t let them lay a hand on you.” He said, tightly squeezing her hands with his own.

She smiled in response, wiping her mask of snow, before rejoining,

“I appreciate the sentiment…but I don’t know if you can keep scaring them off like that for long…Considering the fact that they’ve chased me down into the Deadzone of all places…”

Him and Celis started walking forth again, and once more, Alisson held onto Celis’s hand tightly, never straying more than an arm length away from her.

“How many do you see now? How many were in front of us?”

Celis looked conflicted for a moment in answering the question, but replied readily, “About a dozen now. The closest one was inside of you…but then I blinked and they, they disappeared.”

Her voice trailed off. She didn’t seem so scared now that the threat was over, just puzzled. Alisson knew Celis, she wasn’t scared of much, and in fact, the one thing that had consistently placed terror on her expression was Sequiturs, so perhaps they invoked some sort of primal, supernatural fear in people. The way that she was never able to retaliate on her own, despite her veterancy and training, it was certainly not something that could simply be left up to a child-like fear. Of course, Alisson knew nothing of what these Sequiturs were, perhaps they the scariest things he could think of and then some, and he was just giving Celis a hard time.

But it was no matter. He’d be here by her side to protect her.

“A-alisson! Watch out!”

With a pull at his arm, Celis just barely managed to stop him from tripping and falling face first into the snow. Upon recentering himself, Alisson shook his head, and noticed what Celis had pulled him away from. There was something jutting out of the snow. Upon closer inspection, it was a rusted piece of metal, one that was quite large, and buried beneath the snow.

“Odd…” Alisson muttered.

Up until now, they hadn’t seen a single other thing in the Deadzone other than snow. Ultimately, it proved far to large and too buried to extract and examine, so they moved on.

Celis flashed him a look, and asked with a slightly sour face, “Do you even know what direction we’re going in?”

She had been leading the way until now, and Alisson had followed behind, paying no mind to their direction.

Alisson averted his eyes. “No.”

Celis sighed. “Do you at least have a clue? Because to me it sounds like I could have just walked you all the way out of here and you wouldn’t notice.”

“I wouldn’t.” Alisson nodded. “I was just too occupied on the fact that…”

His voice trailed off as his vision drifted toward their interlocked hands.

Celis rolled her eyes with a smile. “I’ve been heading further west in case you’re wondering.” She then added deviously a moment later, “When you snap out of your little trance there, you’re going to be very embarrassed, you know?”

Alisson nodded. “I know.” He tightened his hand on Celis’s. “I’d rather now savor the feeling than worry about it.”

Celis smiled softly at him in response. “That’s good to hear.”

“However.” Alisson lifted his other hand up, one finger pointing to the sky. “On this talk of something responsible and dutiful,” He closed his eyes. “I’ve remembered my initial plan for finding our way here.”

Celis stared at him smugly.

You’re such an airhead.

For now.

Alisson drew Enhérejär with his offhand, and tossed it up in the air.

“Because we know that mana is more dense in this region, like in Freigat, according to the map from Lavjoure…Enhérejär should be able to expand in radius accordingly, and we’ll be able to simply follow the larger mana footprint to the supposed center of the Deadzone.”

Alisson explained, as Enhérejär split into its mesmerizing display of shards and slivers, rotating in the air above them, forming a four meter radius.

“You know,” Celis started, glancing at Enhérejär rotating around her. “You’re a lot more industrious when you’re not acting all lovey-dovey.”

“I believe we’ve established this.”

They both stared at each other smugly.

Once again, they started forward, Enhérejär hovering above them, shrinking and growing in radius according to what direction they picked. This time, Alisson was side by side with Celis, staring forward, Celis’s rhetorical jabs at his laxness had urged him to snap out out of his lackadaisical tranquility.

More and more, they found debris. Rusted pieces of twisted metal, completely unidentifiable, poking out of the snow beneath. Alisson was wary to not twist his ankle on them. The more Enhérejär’s radius increased, the more debris they found.

Debris soon littered the area before them. They had come to some sort of field of junk, all of the metal bits much more prominent than before. Before either of them could make a comment or speculation about it, they saw, peeking out of the fogs kilometers in front of them, a purple, shining light. It was high up, and from the looks of it, shadows of massive structures loomed behind it.

image [https://i.imgur.com/6nqZaFf.jpg]

Alisson’s eyes widened, and he pointed toward it.

“There, in the fogs, do you see that?”

Celis nodded, confirming that he wasn’t suffering some hallucination. Mere seconds after he made the gesture however, the purple winked off. It did not relight.

Alisson looked to Celis.

I suppose we’re not as alone out here as we thought.

With that, they let go of each other hands, and drew their weapons.

***