Caruso waited with Eve just outside Zone 2. All there was to do now was wait. It was the type of waiting that forced him to take deep breaths as he paced back and forth.
Eve hadn’t needed any convincing to do this. It was clear how much she cared about Webber and wanted to see him again. She also made it very clear that she wasn’t doing this for Caruso’s sake, and that she still hated him—even if she wasn’t showing it as much.
She sat against a young pine tree, occasionally nibbling on one of the metamine shrooms that poked through the pine needle carpet. Before moving here, Eve had had more poppy extract for her pain, and now needed metamine to help keep her awake and alert. Caruso needed no such help to stay awake; waiting for Webber to suddenly merge into him gave him enough nervous energy to keep him up for a week.
About once every minute he stopped his pacing to peer through the canopy at the dark sky.
‘I think it’s starting to get lighter,’ he said.
‘I see that.’
‘Do you think Orange made it in and out of the compound okay?’
‘How would I know?’
‘Who do you think he gave the animashroom to?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Do you really think this will work?’
‘Shut the fuck up.’
Caruso paced back and forth a few more times. He never strayed far from Eve or the Zone 2 shroomline. When the merging happened he needed to be as close to both as possible. The plan was to cross from Zone 3 into Zone 2 while still merged. If they unmerged while still in Zone 3, Webber would be stranded. While merged Webber could share in Caruso's slimekey and invulnerability to sporesickness. If the merging wasn’t successful, he relied on Eve to get the animastem into him before it was too late.
‘Orange guessed that Webber and Ferris would get to the compound around daybreak. Is daybreak now? Or is daybreak when you can actually see the sun?’
Eve ignored him.
‘I guess it doesn’t matter.’ Caruso reminded himself to take a couple of deep breaths as he walked up and down his well trodden path between the pines. ‘If the merging doesn’t work, and you can’t feed us the animastem, will you…’
‘I’ll put you out of your misery.’
‘Thanks, Eve.’
‘My pleasure.’
[Webber]
Webber awoke to a bullroarer wailing in his ear.
‘Fuck off,’ he said, but his face was pressed up against the horse’s neck. He lifted his head and tried to wipe the drool and horsehair from his mouth but his limbs were trussed together like a suckling boar on the spit.
Morning light stabbed him in the eyes. He felt like shit. Had he fallen asleep on the horse, or had Ferris beaten him into unconsciousness? At the start of the ride, it had seemed very important to make the journey as difficult for Ferris as possible. But after blinking off the horse twenty or thirty times, his resolve had been kicked and strangled and whipped out of him.
Now the journey was finally over, but things were about to get even worse. Ferris hauled him off the horse, loosened his bindings, and stood him on his feet. Horses nickered from inside a stable that tacked onto a long and tall wall stretching across the clearing. A section of this wall lowered and more Foresters appeared. Ferris barked orders at them.
A stable-hand who smelt strongly of horse shit came and led the horse away. He gave Webber a couple of nervous glances over his shoulder as he guided the horse towards a trough. A small group of Foresters pushed Webber roughly into the compound. Webber stumbled in front of them. They warned him what would happen if he tried blinking. Webber couldn’t quite bring himself to test them. It felt wrong to just give in, but what was the point in fighting?
Foresters were making their way from the row of buildings, through the gardens, to watch Webber being led to one end of the compound. A waller erected a small platform for Webber to kneel on. He thought Eve would’ve been here by now, or had she been killed already? He was threaded in place, with nothing to look at but the wall, some woman guarding him, and a cluster of sharpened stakes on the ground that would greet him if he chose to blink. Webber considered the choice.
He felt very alone. And he’d never been much good at being alone. It made him think, and he wasn’t much good at that, either. He still grieved Pango’s death. The grief had since been worn down from a sharp anger into a dull and hopeless sadness. He’d blamed Caruso for it at first. But he’d seen the look in Caruso’s eyes after it happened; that look told Webber everything he needed to know.
Scattered conversation came from behind him. It sounded like most of the Foresters were dispersing. Whatever the Foresters had in store for him, Webber gathered it had been delayed. A few Foresters walked past him to express their displeasure in being denied their show.
Not long after, the smell of horse shit returned. It was that nervous stable-hand. He dropped a small segment of a shroom before Webber.
‘Was told to give you this,’ he said quickly and quietly. ‘It's from your friends.’
‘What is it?’
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‘I think you’re supposed to eat it or something.’
Without another word, the stable-hand walked away. Webber palmed the shroom and tried thinking things through. But quickly gave that up and stuffed the shroom in his mouth.
[Caruso]
A tingle weaved up Caruso’s spine. This was it. He stopped his pacing, and tried to prepare himself but had no idea how. The tingle flared into a raging and boundless river of energy that surged up his back with eviscerating intensity. It smothered him, forcing its way into every inch of his body. He couldn’t tell if it was painful or not. It was chaotic, terrifying, alien—yet somehow, it felt right.
As quickly as it arrived, it quietened and stopped. Leaving behind a sensation which reminded Caruso of an early morning stretch—the kind where his whole body seems to click into place and grow. Although this time he really did grow.
Eve jumped to her feet and looked wide-eyed up at him—he was now a foot taller than her. He scanned down his body, ensuring everything was in the right place. There was no mismatch of limbs, no bones poking through his skin, no stabbing pain anywhere; the merging had been a complete success.
Caruso moved his arms and legs about. It was strange. It didn’t feel like his normal body. And it didn’t look like it either. Something about the hair on the back of his arms, the tone of his skin, the distribution of freckles—it all seemed slightly off. Also, everything was bigger. His chest now barrelled outwards, and his once loose clothing now burst at their seams.
Eve kept staring at him. There was something different about her. She looked the same, but Caruso couldn’t help but see her differently. She invoked in him a depth of emotion he’d never felt for her. He had a wild urge to pull her into his arms. And, even more puzzling, he felt that she would welcome it. She still hadn’t said anything, just stared up at him in silence, the usual traces of anger and hate had fled from her eyes.
‘I think it worked,’ Caruso said. He expected his voice to come out deeper to match his body. But it was exactly the same. The sound of it shattered the momentary spell between them.
‘Well?’ Eve prompted, pointing with her blinkpole into Zone 2.
Caruso remembered himself and stepped over the shroomline. No sporesickness. She handed him the animastem. As her hand brushed his, it awoke an echo of the previous feeling. When he looked at her face, he saw beyond her scabs and bruises, saw through her coldness and—
‘Stop looking at me like that,’ Eve snapped.
‘How was I looking at you?’
‘Just eat the thing.’
Caruso chewed on the stem. Every nerve in his body flashed with life. A torrent of energy built at the tip of his spine. This time flushing downwards and outwards. Caruso sensed the energy connecting with the mycelium below and emptying down into it. When it was gone, there was the same disorientating feeling he’d experienced when he’d blinked with Webber. Caruso was suddenly standing there in his normal body, with its normal height. And Webber was standing there beside him.
‘What the fuck was that?’ Webber said, recoiling away from nothing and taking in his surroundings. He looked between Eve and Caruso. ‘What the fuck was that?’ he repeated, this time without the underlying panic. He took a closer look at the surrounding trees and mushrooms. ‘Are we in Zone 2? How?’
Caruso beamed with relief. He explained the animashroom plan to him, and explained how it let them share his slimekey while merged. Webber laughed and pulled them both into a joyous embrace. He kissed the top of Eve’s head then did the same to Caruso and refused to let either of them go.
‘I knew it,’ Webber said, planting another kiss on their heads. ‘I fucking knew it.’
‘Knew what?’ Caruso asked.
Webber released them both and looked at them with a smile that was impossible not to reciprocate.
‘You boys best get going,’ Eve said. ‘Before Ferris comes looking for you.’
‘He doesn’t scare me,’ Webber said, throwing a couple of punches in the air. ‘Wait, where are we going?’
‘Back home,’ Caruso said. ‘To Jamala.’
‘Why? You said we can share youre slimekey, right? Then can't we enter the Godshroom?’
‘Yeah, but…’ Caruso had thought his original plan was sound, but as he collected his justifications, they didn’t seem to strike the same chord. ‘Look what’s happened since we’ve been here. I killed people. You were about to be tortured and executed. Makes sense to leave… doesn’t it?’
Webber glanced at Eve then back at Caruso. ‘Hasn’t been all bad, right? You really think our lives will be better in Jamala?’
‘They would be safer.’
‘Does that make them better?’
‘I don’t know…’
‘Whatever,’ Webber shrugged. ‘Your call. I’m just happy to be free, man. I’ll go wherever you go.’
Caruso had a thought. ‘Eve, why don’t you come back to Jamala with us?’
She considered it for a second. ‘Grow old and die? Sounds shit. Sorry Webber, I’m not going to do a Giles and throw my life away like that.’
Is that what I’m doing? Throwing my life away? Caruso thought he was protecting it. How could going back home to safety be throwing his life away? He would be with Webber, with Miranda. What more could he want?
But some part of him already knew the answer. He’d known it when he left Bob to become a shroom gatherer. He’d known it every time he stepped into the shroom circles, and felt the presence of the mushroom forest. The urge to commune with the Godshroom had always been with him; it beckoned him, it called to him. Only out of fear had he stopped listening. But he was listening now. He knew he couldn’t return to Jamala and live a life without the shroom circles. It was hard leaving behind Miranda, but she would be fine. He’d taught her all she needed. The more he listened, the more he realized the truth of things. His future wasn't with her, it wasn't in Jamala, or Bob. It was in the shroom circles.
From his pocket he pulled out the remainder of the animashroom. ‘There’s still enough for both of us,’ Caruso said. Without waiting to think things through, he ate half, and passed the remainder to Webber.
Webber grinned as he reached for it. Eve slapped his hand away. ‘Wait,’ she said. ‘I get it, Caruso, you are very brave and daring. But this idea is as stupid as one of Webber’s.’
‘Why? I guess we could wait, and merge at the Godshroom…’
‘No. I like our chances better if you do it here. But haven’t the conditions for merging changed now that Webber is free?’
‘Oh,’ Caruso said, feeling dumb. ‘I should’ve thought of that.’
‘No shit.’
‘I’m not following,’ Webber said.
Caruso answered, ‘It's complicated. But basically, we think it worked before because you were going to die, which meant our bond would die. Now, since you aren't, things have changed.’
‘Unless…’ Eve said, calculating something. As she deliberated, she walked slowly into Zone 2, past where Caruso and Webber stood. ‘Now it's my turn for a stupid idea.’
‘I’m still not following,’ Webber said.
‘You may not like this one, Webber,’ Eve said. ‘Stand still.’
‘I have no idea wha—’
Eve blinked and stabbed Webber through the gut with her pole. Webber blanched, and dropped to his knees, clutching his stomach. He looked up at Eve with the same look of confused betrayal he had given Caruso yesterday.
‘Eve…What…’
‘Stop being such a baby,’ she said. She turned to Caruso. ‘There. Unless you do something, Webber will die. Same as before.’
‘You’re insane,’ Caruso said.
Eve shrugged.
‘Don’t worry, Webber,’ Caruso said, dropping down beside him. ‘If all goes to plan, I guess I’ll see you in the next world…’
‘Give me the—’ Webber coughed up a little blood. ‘Give me the fucking shroom already.’
‘Webber,’ Eve said, squatting beside him and wiping the blood from his chin. ‘When you wake up in the next world, head to the western edge of the shroom circles. I’ll wait for you.’
Caruso noted she hadn’t extended the invitation towards him. He handed Webber the shroom. Webber gave them both a meaningful nod before eating it.
The same river of energy flooded back up his spine. Webber disappeared, and the torrent took on a blinding intensity. It went exactly as before; it felt the same, and the transformation was the same. He even noticed the same change in how he thought about Eve.
‘Let’s get moving,’ she said.