It was late afternoon by the time Caruso and Ferris returned. After being in the forest, the picturesque compound was jarring. Caruso couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place. How could he live in a place like this? How could one of those rooms with its carved stone pillars, backing on to the immaculate gardens, be his? It would take some getting used to.
They carried the boar down one of the paths that bridged over the stream. Ferris’s arrival had an immediate effect on everyone. Every Forester in the vicinity stopped whatever task they were doing and headed over. More Foresters appeared from rooms and through the wall as if summoned.
Do they do this every time Ferris arrives, or is it because of me? His thought was quickly answered. They barely seemed to notice Caruso until Ferris proudly paraded him around the group, introducing him to everyone as the new apprentice waller. There were too many new names and faces to remember. Caruso tried his best to memorize them all, but after fifteen or so introductions he gave up.
A couple of things stood out to Caruso. When he was first introduced to a woman named Blue, nothing seemed strange about that. But when he was introduced to Red, and then finally a man with hair down to his waist named Orange—that was too much to be a coincidence. Caruso wanted to ask about it, but decided to hold off. He needed to make a good first impression and wasn’t sure questioning people’s names was the best place to start.
The second thing Caruso noticed was that almost everyone appeared to be the same age. No one was as young as Caruso, they all looked to be around thirty—with only a couple of exceptions. He hadn’t noticed this yesterday. There’s nothing odd about seeing a few men of similar age, and he had spent time with Niko who was one of the older exceptions. But in a group of over twenty Foresters, it felt strange.
A couple of Foresters began stacking wood for a bonfire. Beside it, the boar was being gutted and stuffed with spiceshrooms and honeyfungus, ready to go on a spit. After the introductions had run their course, everyone’s attention shifted away from Caruso, and without warning, the gathering quickly fractured into several smaller groups. With Ferris no longer guiding him around, Caruso found himself just standing there, stranded, while everyone else absorbed effortlessly into the surrounding groups.
The longer he stood there alone, the more his anxiety climbed. It became obvious that no one would come to his rescue. Scanning the nearby groups, he searched for a friendly face. There was no hope in returning to Ferris’s side—the man was completely swarmed. He heard Kumiko’s enthusiastic chattering and turned to see if her group could offer a safe haven. She talked with a few other Foresters, in a looser, more open formation, with an inviting gap where someone had just left. Caruso rushed towards it. He failed to make eye contact with Kumiko as he approached, but that didn’t matter, just filling that gap would be smooth and natural enough. Once there he could relax and simply listen to Kumiko talking.
He was only a few steps away when a couple stepped in front of Caruso, both squeezing into the gap. The group shuffled around to accommodate them, but left no opening for Caruso to slip into. Shit! Not wanting to stand awkwardly in the middle of nowhere again, he kept walking past the group as if that had been his plan all along. He made his way to the bonfire and sat by himself on one of the logs.
For a time he just sat and watched everyone around him. They all made it seem so effortless. The way they flowed in and out of conversations, bouncing between the little groups with no hesitation or awkwardness, always prepared with a little quip or one-liner that made the transition seamless. How does everyone do it?
The only other Forester not partaking in the chit-chat was the man with the waist-length hair. Is his name Red or Orange? The man had climbed up on one of the megashrooms and sat, perched on the large cap, watching everyone from above. No one else found his behaviour weird.
Every now and then someone would flash Caruso a glance and he would quickly plaster a smile on his face to make it appear as if he was enjoying himself. This is torture. He took solace in the growing flames as they consumed the neat arrangement of stacked wood. After a while of watching the fire, Niko came and sat beside Caruso. He was glad for the distraction.
‘Enjoying yourself?’ She asked.
‘Of course.’
Niko gave him a deeper look, as if she could see straight through his lie. ‘Do you remember our talk when you arrived? After you had the truthbutton?’
‘Not really.’ Caruso only remembered feelings of openness and wellbeing and trust. Of what he actually said, he had no recollection—which came as both a relief and a source of anxiety.
‘Don’t worry, you said nothing to be embarrassed about. I love talking honestly with people. Conversation should always be about sharing the truth. That’s why I love truthbuttons. It allows you to let your guard down and talk without posturing, without agenda, just the simple truth.’ Niko gave him a warm smile that quickly put him at ease. ‘You never need to lie to me, Caruso. Always know you can speak your mind, voice any concerns. I’m here for you.’
‘Thanks,’ Caruso said. And he meant it.
Caruso spotted a woman pull herself atop the compound wall, from the outside. Her necklace showed she was a Forester. She lowered herself into the compound using her threads to help her climb down, then rushed towards Ferris. This didn’t alarm anyone.
‘So,’ Niko said. ‘How did your first walling feel?’
‘I was terrified at first,’ Caruso admitted. ‘That boar was charging straight at me and I didn’t know if I could blink or thread or wall myself to safety. I wanted to flee, but I didn’t because I knew Ferris was there watching me…Then I felt that icy feeling down my back and next thing I knew I had summoned four walls around me. I was relieved.’
Niko smiled and nodded, she was a good listener. ‘That’s encouraging for your first time. I’m a waller too, my first attempt wasn’t quite as smooth…But while this is a great achievement, it’s just a first step. Remember that you are merely an apprentice. You need to hone your ability, work on it, become reliable and fluent with it. If you can do that, then you will truly find your place among us.’
Still plenty of chance to let everyone down then.
‘You doubt yourself?’ Niko asked.
‘A little. I guess I’ve just never really been that good at anything.’
‘Is that really true?’
‘I think so?’
‘I selected you because I knew you could become a Forester. Do you not trust me?’
‘No, I do trust you, honestly. It’s just—’
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Niko placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. ‘You need to learn to unburden yourself of all this fear and uncertainty.’
‘That’s what Ferris told me.’
‘Because it’s the truth.’
‘But I’m not sure I understand. He said I can be “free” if I just unburden myself and that I can surrender it all to him. I dunno, it doesn’t make sense to me. How would I even do that?’
Niko paused for a bit, thinking. ‘Imagine a little child. He is walking through the mushroom markets with his parents whom he trusts implicitly. He is completely relaxed, untroubled, enjoying all the sights and smells. He hasn’t a care in the world because his parents are there behind him and he knows he is safe. Are you following?’
Caruso nodded.
‘But then the child glances back to his parents, and they aren’t there. Suddenly his carefree nature is instantly replaced with panic. He is uncertain what to do, knows not where to turn, and is consumed by fear. Now, what caused this sudden change in the child?’
‘His parents left him?’
‘Actually, his parents were watching him the whole time. The child just couldn’t see them. He was never abandoned or in any danger. Nothing changed in the child’s circumstances. So, why was the child afraid?’
Caruso thought about it. ‘Because he didn’t know his parents were there?’
Niko nodded sagely, ‘It was the child’s lack of trust and faith in his parents that caused the reaction. When he believed in his parents, he was free. As soon as he stopped believing, all the weight of the world was dumped on his shoulders.’
Caruso saw where this was going. ‘So you’re saying I just need to trust and believe in Ferris? Or in the Foresters?’
‘I’m saying that without trust, without belief, you’ll always be that lost little child.’ Niko squeezed his shoulder, gave him a final smile before gracefully sweeping away.
The fire had begun to throw out some heat. The boar’s skin crackled and dripped. A mouthwatering aroma of roasting meat and spiceshrooms mingled with the smoke that hazed the air. Caruso pondered Niko’s words, he felt there was some truth in them. He looked at the group of Foresters around Ferris, hanging off his every word. They looked like they trusted him implicitly.
‘Didn’t get a chance to apologize before.’ It was the heavyset man that had carried Caruso into Zone 3—Kactus, Caruso remembered. He sat down beside Caruso.
‘Apologize for what?’
‘Might’ve been a bit rough with ya, last night. Was in a foul mood, after seeing Daniel get killed and all.’
‘It’s okay, I understand.’
‘Oh please,’ Kumiko said, sitting down on the other side of Caruso but talking to Kactus. ‘Don’t use Daniel as an excuse, you didn’t even like him.’
‘Doesn’t mean I don’t respect him.’
‘You clearly didn’t respect him either,’ Kumiko laughed. ‘You were always teasing him about being an anima and about his pet frogs. And you were constantly trying to prove yourself the more competent shroom grower.’
‘Coz I was more competent.’
‘So, you cultivate shrooms?’ Caruso asked. He knew he did, but just wanted to spark the conversation.
‘Aye,’ Kactus said. ‘Daniel was in charge of edibles. I’m in charge of medicinals. Well, in charge of both now, as you heard this morning.’
Caruso was pleased to have found someone to discuss cultivating with. He could only imagine what new methods and techniques a Forester must know.
‘And for what it’s worth,’ Kumiko said to Caruso, but clearly loud enough for Kactus to hear, ‘Daniel was clearly the more skilled.’
A vein throbbed on Kactus’s forehead. ‘What would you know, you stupid bitch!’
Ferris walked up. Any animosity between Kactus and Kumiko was dropped instantly. ‘Kactus, Kumiko. I need both of you to head to the southern animastation.’
‘The one between the rivers?’ Kactus asked.
‘That one was destroyed,’ Ferris said. ‘Zone 3, about an hour north of the southern gorge.’
‘I know where it is,’ Kumiko said.
‘Good,’ Ferris said. ‘I was just informed that Urchins were spotted in the area. Probably looking to attack the animastation. Go there. Protect the station, find the Urchins, bring them back alive if possible. Leave immediately.’
‘Yessir.’
‘Will do,’ said Kumiko.
Ferris nodded and walked off. Kumiko and Kactus left without delay. Caruso returned to watching the fire burn through the wood. The best part was when the supporting logs underneath lost all their structural integrity and the entire fire slumped down, throwing up a puff of sparks. He wondered if he should be trying harder to talk to people, but chose instead to watch the comforting fire.
Something hit Caruso’s shoulder. He looked around, no one was there, no one had brushed past him. He felt another soft impact on the back of his neck. A shroom. Someone threw a shroom at me? Caruso picked up the purpleveil and scanned the groups of mingling Foresters. No one was looking at him.
He saw the next shroom before it hit him. It came from the direction of the megashroom. Caruso looked over just in time to see that long haired Forester, who had been sitting on top, roll backwards off it.
Curious, Caruso got up and walked over. The man was leaning with his back against the thick stem staring away from the crowd. Only when Caruso approached did he turn, ‘Oh hello there. Ah you found my mushroom.’ He plucked the purpleveil out of Caruso’s hand.
Caruso was perplexed to say the least, ‘Why did you throw it at me?’
‘The real question is why is no one else is lobbing mushrooms at each other? Think about it. They are easy to throw, we have unlimited supply, it doesn’t hurt, and it’s funny. Watch this.’
He threw the purpleveil at the group of Foresters surrounding Ferris, hitting Miles in the back of the head. Miles frowned in their direction. Caruso snapped his gaze back to Orange who was grinning ear to ear.
‘See? It doesn’t get much better than that.’
‘Uh…Your name is Red, right?’
‘I wish. No, my name is Orange—everyone’s least favourite colour.’
Orange walked off. Does he want me to follow? Instead of walking along the stone path, Orange traipsed across the patch of purpleveils. Caruso walked after him.
‘So, you’re a waller,’ Orange said. ‘Sorry to hear that.’
‘Sorry? Why?’
‘You missed out on probably the greatest power the mushrooms have to offer.’
‘Blinking?’
Orange stopped and faced Caruso, ‘Tell me, can you do this with blinking?’ A couple of mycelium threads sprouted from the ground and snaked up behind Orange and under his shirt. A slow grin spread across his face. ‘If you can’t tell, they are simultaneously scratching and massaging my back.’
‘I never considered that.’
‘There are a lot of things most people don’t consider. There’s probably a few applications I have yet to discover, but I’ve tried everything I can think of.’ Orange leaned in closer. ‘And I mean everything.’
Caruso could only guess what he was implying. Orange walked off again, this time wading straight across the small stream. There was something both intriguing and confusing about this man. Caruso followed him again but managed to leap over the stream without getting his boots wet.
‘So,’ Orange said without looking back at Caruso. ‘You had a nice little heart to heart with Niko?’
It was hard to tell if Orange was mocking him, or joking, or asking a sincere question. ‘Umm, yea, I guess. She’s nice.’
‘Mmmm.’
What does that mean? Caruso caught up to Orange again and let him lead him on an ambling path around one of the elm trees in the compound. His long hair blew wildly around his face but Orange didn’t seem to care.
‘Why is your name Orange?’ Given Orange’s lack of adherence to social conventions, Caruso felt it was safe to ask this.
‘You don’t like it?’
‘No, I mean. Why is it a colour?’
‘Interesting question. Why is orange a colour? What even is a colour? Is this purpleveil actually purple, or is “purple” merely something created by our eyes or our minds?’
‘I mean, how did you get that name?’
‘Ah! Well, my father was named Red, my mother Yellow...’
‘I can’t tell if you’re being serious.’
Orange grinned. I guess not. Orange reached the elm tree and jumped for a low branch. He pulled himself up and sat facing out across the compound. Caruso jumped up as well, but struggled to get himself up. Threads wrapped around his legs and hoisted him up to the branch.
‘Thanks.’
‘If you misbehave. Ferris renames you as a punishment.’
‘Really?’
‘Gotta please the big man.’
‘What did you do?’
‘Apparently, I wasn’t taking my duties seriously enough. Also, Ferris doesn’t like it when you lob mushrooms at him.’
Caruso laughed.
It was getting dark now and the compound was beginning to sparkle with blue and purple shroomlights.
‘OK, that’s enough.’ Orange said.
‘Enough what?’
‘Of this,’ he gestured between them. ‘I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for it later. For now, you should head back to the group. I need to be alone in this tree.’
Again Caruso couldn’t tell if he was joking. But Orange simply lay back on the branch with his eyes closed, his long hair hung down below him and danced in the breeze. A couple threads appeared, wrapped around Orange and the branch, securing him in place.
Caruso jumped off the tree and walked back to the bonfire. That was strange.