I unwrapped the wax paper surrounding the In-N-Out burger and let the smells of two juicy patties, separated by lettuce, tomato, raw onion, and cheese, sandwiched in a bun overwhelm my sense of smell. My mouth watered at the sight of it.

“And the Banshee Queen did what exactly?” asked Charice.

I sank my teeth into the perfection that is known as the Double Double. Man oh man. So good. I swallowed before continuing. “She pushed me into some kind of mystical pool.”

“Then the water turned you into a Ban-he?” asked Rob.

“Naw. He was like a reflection at first, and we wrestled in the pool. And then I woke up in my bed.”

“Weird,” said Nehemaih.

I shrugged and took another bite. “Wow. Guys. Just wow.”

“Yep,” said Nehemiah.

“Mine needs more mayonnaise,” said Rob.

“Shut up Rob,” I said. “This burger is literally perfection. Perfection.”

Charice swallowed the bite she was chewing. “I kinda like Bud’s better.”

Bud’s was a local burger joint that most Vallejo residents swore by. That was, until In-N-Out came to town. “You naysayers are insane. This is the best.” I took another bite for emphasis. “Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I crave Bud’s. But it’s just not this.”

Nehemiah wagged a finger at me. “That right there. Truth.”

Charice shook her head. “Bud’s is still number one. This is a really close second.”

Despite some loving the burgers, and some just eating them out of necessity, everyone quieted down and focused on satisfying their hunger.

I finished my burger first and went to work on my fries. In between bites, I washed down the fries with a chocolate milkshake. At my feet Tain finished up the fries I had ordered just for him. He earned it. His big round eyes bored into me. Apparently he was not given enough food.

“Fine,” I placed the remainder of my fries on the ground.

I inhaled the night air and took a moment to appreciate the simple things in life. Cheeseburgers, fries, shakes, and friends.

“Thanks guys for coming over to get me,” I said. Everyone looked up from their food at me. “Sorry about trying to kill you all. Technically that wasn’t me, but… you know what I mean.”

“Of course Shamrock,” said Nehemiah. “We got your back man. We didn’t even hesitate for a moment.”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “How did you guys cross over to the Otherside, exactly where I was?”

“We knew you needed help, but we didn’t know how to open a rift straight to you,” said Charice.

“Because you had Fragarach,” said Rob. “We were bummed because we assumed with that sword we could open rift for sure.”

“I figured if I focused hard enough, I could open it with this,” Nehemiah patted the Dullahan’s spinal whip. “But we didn’t want to open a rift smack dab in the middle of Tech Duinn.”

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

“Then I got the idea that maybe if we had Tain, we could use the bond between you two to open a rift straight to you,” said Charice.

“Which I thought was cheesy,” said Nehemiah.

Rob held a finger up, looking super smug. “But then I remembered you charmed your Quickback Pony.”

“Fastback Mustang,” I corrected.

“Right,” said Rob. “I remembered that. Me.”

“So we went back, got your dog, your ‘Stang, and did all the things to make sure we were opening a direct pathway to you,” said Nehemiah.

“Oh. Wow,” I said. “That’s why you came through all macho at full power? You thought you might be going off against the Dullahan.”

Everyone nodded.

“You guys must have argued for super long then. I had enough time to go back to Carrig-Cleena, get two Banshee sisters and jog all the way to the eternal flame, fight Brigid, and fight the Fetch and Asen Scáth before you guys came through.

Rob the Hob chimed in. “To you it probably seemed like hours, what with the time difference between Tir na nOg and Earth.”

“We didn’t even hesitate,” said Charice. “It only took us like five minutes to make a plan. Then another ten to get Tain and your car.”

I smacked my forehead. My friends really came through for me. Even though in my crazed state I could have killed them. They helped save me from myself. I owed my life to them. Warm fuzzy goodness spread throughout my chest. I smiled and sipped on my milkshake.

“The Banshee Queen, transformed you, used you, and sent the Fetch after you?” asked Nehemiah.

“Naw. The Fetch said Donn sent him.”

“Ah,” said Nehemiah. “That makes more sense. He is the lord of the dead. And he wants you dead.”

“What a crazy couple of days,” I said.

“Let’s see,” said Nehemiah. He held up his fingers. “Vampire, Fetch, your dark Ban-he clone…”

“And Brigid.”

“Who’s Brigid again?” asked Charice.

“Just some hot redhead.” I winked.

Charice play punched me in the arm.

“She’s a Celtic goddess. The Banshee Queen sent me to fight her. Well, sent the other me to fight her.”

“So that makes for another Celtic deity who possibly wants to kill you. Way to go white boy,” said Nehemiah.

“Yeah…” I groaned. I felt like we were missing somebody from the tally. “Didn’t we fight someone else too?”

Everyone looked thoughtful but shook their heads.

“I’m pretty sure we fought some other monsters. I don’t know. I’m probably getting confused between my memory and Asen Scáth’s.”

We all finished our food.

Nehemiah got into his Datsun pickup and the rest of us piled into my Fastback.

I leaned out the window towards the wizard. “If my issues were any indication, we need to try to heal Charice. ASAP. You up for it?”

Nehemiah adjusted his rearview mirror and bit his lower lip. “Sure. But where to do it?”

“You’d need a place with a lot of Chaos readily available,” Rob suggested.

Nehemiah stroked his salt and pepper stubble. “I think I might know a good place. Let’s meet tomorrow night at the scrap yard downtown.”

“Why there?”

“Just meet me there. You’ll see.” He flipped on his CD player and tuned in to some big band Jazz. He waved, then drove off.

I turned my ‘Stang around and headed for Charice’s house. We didn’t even get out of the parking lot before I saw flickering lights and my Keening burned.

My stomach churned. For a second I thought Asen Scáth was back. I almost hurled up my whole dinner. But the feeling was different, not nearly as strong. Under a flickering light pole I saw a group of would-be copper wiring thieves.

“Korrigs?” asked Charice.

“Yep. That’s who I was forgetting. We fought the Korrigans.” I stopped the car. “Let’s make this quick. No need to hurt ‘em. Just scare them straight.”

“But they’re harmless Sean,” said Charice.

Rob cracked his knuckles. “You guys go easy if you want. I’m giving these annoying keeblers a huge knuckle sandwich.”

And before I could stop him, Rob jumped out of my ‘Stang and charged headlong into a good old fashioned Irish fist fight.