I struggled to break free of my prison, but it swirled all around me, encasing me in a fluid coffin.
Mere moments before I’d been wrestling a Banshee.
No, not a Banshee, a Ban-he.
Me.
I’d been thrust underwater and found that I was not alone. He and I fought hard and I thought I had the upper hand, only to realize before it was too late that I’d been locked beneath the water’s surface in a pool prison. Blinded by the darkness and the cold, I thrashed with wild abandon. I was not going to die like that.
My stomach dropped as the sensation of falling overtook me.
Without warning I slammed into a surface.
Muffled voices and the growling of an animal or monster reached my ears. I thrashed more and freed myself.
“Hey sleepy head.”
“Huh?”
Rob Swellfellow greeted me with a lazy grin.
I had not been drowning. I had fallen off of the bed.
“Rough night’s sleep, huh?”
I tried to rub my eyes but my arms were tangled up in my bed sheets. Trying to rise, I moved too fast and tripped, rolling into a heap. After I untangled myself I found myself face to face with a panting German shepherd, tongue and drool too close to me for comfort. He licked me full on the mouth.
“Yuck,” I groaned. I scrambled to my feet. The room spun on a hinge and I struggled to keep my balance.
“You okay, Master O’Farrell?”
My eyes squeezed shut. Too much light. I moaned. “It’s too bright. Draw the shades.”
Rob obeyed. It wasn’t much better, but it would have to do.
“I have a massive headache.”
Rob hovered over my shoulder placing a pudgy palm on my forehead. “No fever. You feel cold. Mortals. Your bodies are so temperamental.”
I was not in the mood for happy morning people, Fae or otherwise. I wasn’t in the mood for anything. I felt like I needed more sleep, but after that nightmare, I was scared to go to bed. I swear, my nightmares were becoming more vivid with each passing week.
“Soooo,” said Rob, “I believe today’s agenda is to find Brigid, don’t tick of yet another legendary Celtic being, and get healed. Want to start after breakfast?”
“No.”
“Brunch?”
“Uh-uh.”
“Was that, uh-uh or uh-huh? You mumbled.”
“NO.”
“Lunch? Afternoon snack? Pre-dinner? Supper? Oops. Too late. The whole day is wasted.” He waited for me to laugh, giggle, chuckle.
“I don’t need her help anymore.” The words surprised even me.
“Why not?”
I thought about how to answer. Part of me wanted to yell at Rob for even suggesting I get help from that wench. I didn’t need healing. I was fine. And another part of me shuddered at the thought of finding Brigid.
Under no circumstances was I going to allow myself to look for or find her. Something about finding her made my stomach churn. On a primal level, I knew that if I found her, not only would she not help me, but something bad would happen.
“Just, no.”
“We just give up then?”
“We?”
“Yeah. You me. Servant. Master. Swellfellow and O’Farrell. Did you forget what The Morrigan warned you about?”
I did forget. But I knew that admitting that to Rob, admitting that to myself even, was bad. So, I lied. “I didn’t forget.”
“Then you’re going to accept her offer to help you? Because something about that deal struck me as wrong.”
“I’m not going to do that either.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Today’s a chill day. No more monsters or school or dojo. Nothing. No more running around like a chicken with my head cut off.”
The words head cut off sent goosebumps across my neck. I shivered, then repressed the thought and told Rob to make me breakfast while I turned on John Wick. Every month or so I started the trilogy over.
He produced a bowl of half Corn Chex, half Life Cereal. I would have protested, but I didn’t care. The nightmares depleted my energy. So instead, my hobgoblin, Tain and I watched Keanu Reeves go to work in style.
Just as the movie was getting good my phone buzzed with a text. I ignored it. It buzzed again.
Rob hovered over to it. “It’s Charice.”
“What does she want?”
Rob shrugged. “I dunno. She’s your girlfriend. Probably just wants to see how you’re doing. Because she cares.”
“We’re watching a movie. I’ll talk to her later.”
I stole a glance at Rob. His eyes narrowed and he bit his lower muppet-like lip. “I gotta go to the bathroom. Don’t worry about pausing the movie.” He hovered away in a flash.
I watched a few more moments of the movie. But something didn’t feel right. What was that filthy hobgoblin up to?
I left Wick on, even turning up the volume so the gunshot sound effects muffled my footsteps. I edged towards the bathroom door and heard the low voice of my hob speaking with someone. Pushing the door open a crack, I heard him on my phone.
“No, it’s not that. He’s just acting weird. He had nightmares again. Last time they were kind of prophetic...no. He didn’t tell me what it was. How do I know? He fell out of bed screaming, that’s how I know. Also, he doesn’t want to talk to you. Did you guys have your first fight yet? Please tell me this is simply boyfriend girlfriend drama.”
I burst through the bathroom door almost taking it off the frame.
Rob shifted through all of his distinct forms before the phone hit the ground.
“Who are you talking to?”
“Charice. She called.”
“Oh did she?”
“Do you want to talk to her?”
I snatched the phone from him. “Hey.”
Charice’s voice sounded concerned. “Sean, it’s me. Are you doing alright?”
“I’m fine.”
“Is right now a bad time?”
“We’re in the middle of watching a movie.”
“Oh.”
She sounded hurt. Why would she be sad just because I was watching a movie without her? Girls are so weird.
I wanted to get back to John Wick. I wanted people to stop assuming things were wrong with me. Especially my girlfriend. “Anything else you want to ask?”
“No. But your buddies from high school are in town. They left you a message on Facebook.”
“You spied on my private message? What the—?”
“They posted it on your page. Which is public. No need to bite my head off.”
Again the words bite my head off made my ears ring. Some faint memory of a task I needed to accomplish eluded my grasp. I shook my head, which only amplified my headache.
“I’m not biting your head off, Charice.”
“Whatever. Go have fun Sean. Sounds like you need some time away from me and Rob anyways.”
She hung up on me.
“Jerk,” I mumbled. What was wrong with her? Rob stared at me, as if afraid to move.
“Why did you call her and tell her I was acting weird?”
“I dunno. I was worried about you.”
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Steam arose within me turning my ears red hot. Why did Rob call Charice of all people? I did not need her doubting me. I was trying to prove to her that she and I were alright, that despite the monsters upsetting our lives we could continue on, push through it. But if Rob was going around behind my back making her suspicious of me, Charice might get second thoughts about if our relationship was even worth it. What if she called it off?
I felt a scream bubbling up, pressure building in my chest wanting to explode up and out of my mouth. I held it in check. I needed to get out of my apartment. Rob was annoying me, Tain was slobbering everywhere, and Eddy would be home from graveyard shift any minute. I did not want to talk to or see him.
I heard keys jingle and the front door open. Too late. Eddy was home. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
Rob shifted into a cat and assumed the role of a mindless feline.
I braced myself for a stupid conversation. I grabbed the sink top and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked tired. For a moment my eyes flickered, as if I wore contacts and for a second I saw my real reflection behind the facade.
Why was I so angry? Nightmares? A bad night’s sleep? I was grumpy, that was all. I was tired. Tired of the same ole same ole. Take care of responsibilities all day. Fight monsters all night. Be worse off for it. I wasn’t making a difference. Nothing changed. I needed to make a change. Maybe hanging out with Eddy and the old gang would be a nice breath of fresh air.
Eddy met me in the bathroom doorway.
“Sup Sean.”
“Hey.”
“Got the Facebook message?”
“Just did.”
He grinned. “So, you game? Gonna actually come through this time?”
My eyebrows furrowed. What did he mean by this time? As if I’d blown him off before. I let the comment slide. “Sure. Tonight sounds good.”
“They actually want to chill right now. Meet up for brunch at Mimi’s Cafe.”
I did not care for Mimi’s Cafe. “What’s wrong with Denny’s?”
“They didn’t come all the way home on college break to eat out at some white trash pit stop.”
I clenched my fists and felt pressure building in my chest again.
“Look,” said Eddy play punching me on the shoulder. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch. Just come hang out with us. For old time’s sake.”
I sighed through my nose. I wanted a change in pace. I’d asked for it. “Fine. Let’s go. Mind if I ride with you?”
“No problem. Oh and just a friendly reminder. Rent is due soon.”
It took everything in me not to clear my throat.
---
Barry, Chuck, Eddy, and I squished together around a small table really meant for two.
“This table is crazy small,” I commented, annoyed.
“Mimi’s Cafe is crackin’ during brunch,” said Barry.
“We could have gone to Denny’s. Their tables are way bigger.”
“Haha. Good one,” said Chuck. “Denny’s. This guy.” He jutted a thumb at me. “Always the funny guy, Sean.”
I noticed that Barry and Chuck had filled out. A lot. Aside from both of them being blessed with natural half-black, half Filipino physique, they could have only gotten that way with serious dedication. “Maybe if you guys weren’t so swole we’d fit.”
“Gotta catch up Sean,” said Chuck. “You only get one body. Start working out. Stick figure.”
“I’m tone,” I said.
“No need to get defensive bro,” said Barry.
The three of them shared a laugh at my expense. I rolled my eyes and glanced over the menu. “What are you guys getting? I’m thinking a fat stack of pancakes.”
“No way bro. The first step to men’s fitness is a complete carb cutoff. You want to end up like that guy over there?” Barry twitched his nose in the direction of a middle-aged dad with three kids.
“Discipline starts now Seanny boy. You think I got these bad boyz filling up on biscuits and gravy?” Chuck flashed me his coffee tinted biceps. I hated to admit they were impressive.
I noticed neither Barry nor Chuck pointed out the obvious elephant at the table. Our resident Portuguese pound cake Eddy. Working graveyard shift took a toll on his body and he’d put on his fair share of weight in a short period of time. But they weren’t grilling his chops.
They were just teasing, I reminded myself. “Tell me,” I eyed Barry and Chuck. “What do women like yourselves eat to keep such slim figures?”
“Ooohhh. Burn,” said Eddy.
“Protein,” said Barry.
“Yeah booooi,” echoed Chuck. “Meat lover’s omelet.”
“Make it two,” said Barry.
I ordered the flapjack stack anyways, out of spite.
While we waited for the food to arrive they changed the subject. “How’s the career hunt?”
“Not on the hunt,” I said. “I’m good with the job I got. Works with my schedule.”
“You’re not still at the chiropractor’s?”
I nodded.
“Got a promotion though right?” asked Barry.
“You don’t get promoted higher than janitor,” said Chuck.
“No but for real,” said Barry. “You’re interning there as well, to learn how to be a chiropractor, right?”
I shook my head.
“Oh,” said Barry.
“How long you been there?” asked Eddy. “One year?”
I had not thought about it in a while. “Almost two actually.”
Chuck’s eyebrows collided with his forehead. “Two years scrubbing toilets.”
Barry elbowed him, then continued. “But you’re doing college finally?”
I didn’t care for the word finally. “Yeah. Community college.”
Barry and Chuck stayed silent, scarfing down more omelet to fill the void.
“What about you?” Chuck asked Eddy. “How’s refinery life treating you?”
“Making grip. Couldn’t be happier.”
“We can see that.” They eyed his stomach, and everyone but me shared another laugh.
“Hey, as long as you’re making bank and being successful. That’s all that matters,” said Chuck. “But eventually you gotta turn that fitness around, eh bud.”
Eddy nodded. “But in the meantime...” he took a huge bite of pancakes.
With Eddy giving the right answers I became the main topic again. I guess they weren’t going to give up until they got me to understand that I needed to fix my life. What great friends.
Barry eyed my arms. “You are pretty tone, Sean. Small, but tone. How are you maintaining that on a diet of carbs and more carbs?”
“Working at the dojo keeps me fit. I’ve got to keep up with the kids.”
“The dojo?” asked Chuck. “Don’t tell me you’re still pursuing that crap?”
Barry elbowed Chuck again. “He’s passionate about it. Come on bro.”
“I’m just trying to be a real friend,” said Chuck defending himself. “A real friend doesn’t pull any punches the way outdated martial arts pull theirs. UFC has been around for years. It is an undisputed fact that anything less than MMA or jui jitsu is a joke.”
“It’s Kenjutsu. Swordplay.”
“When would you ever need to use a sword in a modern society?”
I raised my eyebrows. I could think of a few instances. If only Chuck knew. I stabbed at my pancakes shuffling them around my plate, but never brought them to my mouth.
“Uh oh,” said Eddy. “I think you struck a nerve.”
I glared at him. “I like teaching the kids. It’s good for them.”
“Yeah,” said Barry. “You’re giving back to the community.”
Chuck muttered something under his breath in between bites.
“I didn’t catch that. Speak up bro,” I said.
“More like lying to the kids and setting them up for failure.”
I slammed my fork down. “Why do you have a problem with me? What did I do to you?”
“I don’t want you to waste your life dude, that’s all.” said Chuck. “The rest of us have moved on. But you’re still stuck in your fantasyland. We’re not in high school anymore. I know stuff happened that set you back, but you’ve got to get back on your feet.”
I knew what he was referring to. The fact that my dad and sister died. Well, maybe that had held me back. But there was nothing wrong with me. I did not need to be fixed. And I wasn’t wasting my time. I was protecting people who didn’t even know they were in danger. It was a thankless job that I wasn’t even paid for. But I had to do it.
Power had been granted to me. I had made the choice, resolved to use them. And there was no way I could explain any of that to Chuck, Barry, or Eddy.
“Yeah. You’re right Chuck. I did get set back. Sorry, if I didn’t have anyone to coddle me with a brand new car just for graduating high school. Good job bro. Here’s a gold star for meeting the minimum requirement like everyone else. You know how I got my car? My dad died and it became mine, by default.”
Eddy spoke in a low voice. “Too far bro. He was just trying to get you to think.”
“Quit kissing their butts. The only reason they ever hung out with me and you is because they needed someone to laugh at. They need us to feel better about themselves, to gauge how far they’ve come.”
The mouths of my three former friends swung on hinges.
I rose from the table throwing my cloth napkin down. “This place sucks, by the way. Denny’s is the same quality, maybe better. But you’re better off than me right? Thanks for footing the bill.”
Even though I didn’t have a ride, I stormed out of the restaurant.
I half expect them to rush after me outside, follow me to the back of the cafe where we’d parked, and apologize for their behavior. I walked back to Eddy’s car and waited. None of them came out. I waited a few more minutes. They never came. They were probably sneering at me, snickering at my outburst, calling me names and wagging their heads. Like they were better than me. I’d show them.
The pulsing in my chest threatened to burst my ribs open. I needed to let it out. My chest heaved up and down. I eyed Chuck’s bumblebee yellow ‘013 Chevy Camaro.
Was I jealous? Yeah, a little.
A guttural scream ripped out of my throat.
A windstorm escaped my face and pummeled into the Camaro sending it toppling over across several empty parking spaces. It came to rest on its side.
Windows shattered.
Paint scarred.
Body dented.
I grinned.
---
I wandered aimless downtown past shops that were just opening up for afternoon business. I didn’t have my car, so I’d have to walk home. Except I didn’t want to go home. Rob would ask me about brunch. It would be super embarrassing to explain that I’d just burnt my bridges with my only real friends.
Why had I done that? Sure Barry and Chuck were rough around the edges. Sure they liked to joke hard and get real. It had always been that way. And I’d never had a problem with it before. Why did it bother me now? Was it because they were better than me and that hurt to admit?
They had moved on to bigger and better things. I was still doing the same ole’ same ole’. I had not gone anywhere or done anything. Well, that wasn’t true. I’d done plenty of crazy things. I just couldn’t tell anyone about it. Not unless I wanted to end up in a psych ward.
I’d toppled Chuck’s car with scream. I was so angry thinking about it even after that fact that I ignored how I’d even done it. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that I didn’t have friends anymore. I wanted to call someone, tell them what happened. But I couldn’t. Gavin was up in Washington at work most likely. Charice and the gang were annoying me, assuming something was wrong with me. Why was everyone assuming things were wrong with me and shoving it down my throat? And I could not talk to my mom. She was a great mom, but she wasn’t my dad.
It always came back to Dad. An itch formed in my throat, but I cleared it and kept it in check. I hated myself for always needing my dad. I didn’t need him. I was fine. There was nothing wrong with me and I didn’t need anybody.
I sighed.
That wasn’t true.
I only felt that way because I was alone.
And I was furious at myself for having a pity party.
I stopped in front of a shop window and eyed my reflection in the glass. What was wrong with me? The face that stared back at me looked like me, but it felt like someone else wore my body like a costume. Had part of my nightmare been real? If so, which part?
My mind tried to rehash the dark dream, but like all important dreams, the details eluded me.
My brain drew a big fat blank. Something about the dream was important, but for the life of me I could not recall one bit of it.
Of their own volition my hands ran over my chest. And that’s when I realized why I felt so weird.
The Keening did not hurt anymore.
It had stopped.
The remembrance of last night’s vision was on the tip of my brain when movement inside the storefront caught my eye.
I realized I’d been staring at my reflection for some time. The store owner probably thought I was a burned out weirdo. They might even call the cops on me. I stepped back and read the sign for the first time.
Bri’s Blossoms.
Not wanting to make a scene, I decided to walk into the shop and make a purchase. I’d been a jerk to Charice and owed her some flowers anyways.