They watched the Rabbits until they disappeared into the darkness and then turned to the door expectantly. After a few moments Barney looked at Jimmy.

“Do you s’pose he’s not in?”

“Have a quick butchers,” Jimmy said.

“Oh dear… terribly bad form to enter another chap’s office without being asked in,” Barney said fretfully, tenderly rubbing the knot on his head.

“I’ll do it,” Ridley said.

“No, no… that somehow feels worse,” Barney said.

With a deep breath, he turned the knob on the door and then poked his head through the opening. He quickly withdrew and gently shut the door.

“Bad news,” he told them.

“What?” Jimmy asked.

“‘Fraid he’s asleep.”

“Why is that bad news?” Ridley said.

“I would hate to wake a chap up from a mid morning siesta.”

“Barney!” Jimmy implored, he had his pocket watch in his hand and was frowning deeply at it. “We don’t have time for every bit of Etiquette. We need to be on the eleventh before the lunch bell.”

“Right…” Barney said. “Still though Jimmy, doesn’t feel right. You know what they say, let a sleeping Civvie lie and all that.”

“Why do we need to wake him up at all?” Nairo asked.

“What do you expect? We just tiptoe by and use the portal without permission?” Barney said.

Nairo looked at Jimmy then at Ridley.

“That sounds exactly like what we should do.”

“Oh dear.”

“It’ll be fine Barney, we’ll be in and out before the mice even know.”

“Okay but… Cripper give me that sack.”

Cripper swung the sack he had been carrying since the beginning of their mission from his shoulder and passed it over. Barney hastily pulled at the drawstrings and peered in.

“Aha, just the ticket,” Barney withdrew the small box containing the exotic snuff powder he had brought along as a bribe.

“Ready?” Jimmy asked them.

He turned the knob gently and pushed the door open just wide enough for them to silently flit into the office. Nairo found herself in the cleanest office she had been in so far in their journey through the Houses. All the furniture was intact, the carpets and drapes were spotless and there was even a pleasant fragrance in the air. The room was uniform in its layout: filing cabinet, bookcase, large dark oak desk, and half eaten breakfast going stale on a silvery tray. The desk was bare, devoid of anything other than a writing pad and traditional ink well. Behind the empty desk sat a fastidiously dressed little man in a light grey three piece suit with diamond blue tie and crisp white shirt. He had his feet up on the desk and his hands behind his head, snoring gently. Nairo eyed the almost empty bottle of liquor on the desk and surmised he would probably be out of it until lunch. On light feet, the group tiptoed past the sleeping civil servant, except for Barney. He had stopped at the desk opposite the man and was having a hushed one sided conversation.

“Barney,” Jimmy hissed. “What are you doing?”

“Observing etiquette,” Barney whispered back brusquely. “Mr Littlewaithe, you’re looking particularly spiffy today, is that a new suit?” he whispered to the sleeping man. “Oh why thank you. I’ve got the most wonderful tailor, I’ll put you in touch with him… Ridley, leave that alone!”

Ridley looked up from the filing cabinet that had ‘accidentally’ fallen open when he walked by it and shrugged at Barney.

“C’mon Barney,” Jimmy whispered nervously.

He had found the door to the portal and was standing by it impatiently.

“One moment… ummm… how’s the family… etcetera etcetera… don’t suppose you could help a chap in a bind… well of course I haven’t come empty handed…”

“Barney!”

“Right! Here!” Barney placed the snuff box on the desk and slid it towards the sleeping civil servant with a wink. “Mums the word and all that.”

“Done?”

“Etiquette has been observed.”

“Then let’s go,” Jimmy turned the handle to the door and then walked loudly into the door as it jammed shut. They all stopped and turned to the sleeping man. He twitched and shifted but slept on.

“It’s locked!” Jimmy hissed.

“I kick it?” Cripper said, attempting a whisper but it was more of a low groaning noise.

“No,” Jimmy said. “There must be a key.”

He looked around the office. As one, they began to creep around the snoozing civil servant’s office, slowly opening and closing draws and looking in pots and containers.

“Desk,” Nairo mouthed to Ridley.

Together, they each took one side of the double drawed desk. The drawers were heavy and their tracks tended to stick halfway. Breath held, they searched through each drawer. As Nairo was finishing with her third and final drawer she noticed something in the man’s breast pocket. There was a little glint of copper.

“Pocket,” she mouthed at Ridley and pointed to his chest.

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Barney stood behind them nervously fretting as Nairo’s hand snaked by inches from the civil servant’s face. She reached over his shoulder and slid two fingers into his pocket. She gripped the thin key between her grimy fingers and slowly withdrew it. The man shifted across and then wafted his hand in front of his face as if to ward off flies. Suddenly, his snore caught in his throat and he spluttered awake. As one the group dived for cover like roaches when a light is turned on. Ridley and Nairo quickly stepped behind his chair, while Jimmy and Cripper hunkered down behind the grand mahogany desk. Barney was the only one without cover. With only a split second to act, he spun, yanked his coat over his head and hung himself on the coat rack by the bookshelf. He stood perfectly still. The man coughed and blinked heavily twice. He then snuggled himself into his chair and fell straight back to sleep. After a minute or two, Jimmy popped his head over the desk and looked at Nairo and Ridley. Nairo held up the key and Jimmy gave her a thumbs up. They crept around the man’s desk and slid the lock into the key. Jimmy turned the key so slowly they could hear the individual pins unlocking until finally the door was open.

“Leave the key in the lock,” Jimmy whispered as Barney closed the door behind them with a soft click.

As one they exhaled the breath they had been holding.

“Oh I do not like this one bit James,” Barney moaned. “Breaking Civvie Etiquette is deeply frowned upon.”

“Laws only count if you get caught breaking them,” Ridley said nonchalantly.

“No they don’t!” Nairo snapped.

“And we’re not talking about laws! We’re talking about Etiquette!” Barney wailed morosely. “A man who doesn’t observe Etiquette is… is… well he’s not the kind of chap who gets invited round for a cuppa! What would grandpappy say if he saw me sneaking round and pilfering from a Civvie!” Barney looked to the heavens fretfully.

“Shh,” Jimmy hissed. “Come on, we can worry about Etiquette later.”

They shuffled across the short hallway and through another door.

“Ahh the portal!” Barney said.

The Portal, it turned out, was a simple set of polished, wooden steps.

“They’re so clean,” Nairo moaned at the sight of them. “And there’s no traps, or guards, or anything!”

“And there’s no noise, listen.” Ridley cocked his ear and drank in the peaceful silence. He limped over to the steps and sat down with a sigh.

“We ain’t got time to sit Ridley,” Jimmy said.

“No, I think Master Ridley is on to something,” Barney said, easing himself down next to Ridley. “Just for a mo… till the room stops spinning.”

“Think we need five minutes,” Nairo said to Jimmy.

“Yeah maybe,” Jimmy massaged the back of his neck and only just noticed the bruising starting to form from the ropes that had bound his wrists.

“I say, my bonce is throbbing something fierce,” Barney tenderly touched at the lump forming on the side of his head.

“Yeah, we’re all a bit worse for wear,” Nairo said.

She looked around the circle and there wasn’t a single one of them without the beginnings of black eyes, cuts and bloodied lips.

“Rough day in politics,” Barney replied and stretched out his legs. “Where to next, James?”

Jimmy pulled out the battered map and tutted when he saw a piece of it had torn away and flapped in his hands.

“Well, good news is I think the fisticuffs are over.”

“And the bad news?” Ridley asked while lighting a smoke for himself and Barney.

“If we get caught now it’ll probably be classed as treason. At best we’ll be expelled from the Houses permanently and at worst we’ll all be sitting in a cell together up Blackwater.”

“Ahh… now comes the time for skullduggery!” Barney exclaimed as he swayed drunkenly on the step.

“Yeah, I think.” Jimmy held the map up against the wall and pointed to their current location. “These stairs will take us up to the twelfth. From there we need to get over to the Eastern side of the floor so we can grapple up the burned out staircase.” Jimmy pointed to a beautifully drawn set of stairs that had then been scrawled over by what appeared to have been a drunk toddler. They had drawn haphazard flames all over the stairs and then put a big red X across it for good measure.

“From the twelfth to the fifteenth are Pleasently’s strongholds: there won’t be no warring up there.”

“Just a mob of Oppos and cursed grey coats!” Barney grimaced.

“Exactly, we ain’t fighting our way across there,” Jimmy said.

“I think I’ve had my fill of getting shit kicked out of me anyway,” Ridley muttered.

“It’s gonna have to be real quiet and sneaky,” Jimmy said. “We’re gonna have to take down five men so we can take their coats and disguise ourselves…”

Cripper stood up while Jimmy was talking.

“I’m done,” he said.

“Crip?” Jimmy looked up at the massive bruiser.

“I’m not for sneaking and being quiet,” he said morosely. Jimmy looked at his giant friend and saw the dozens of wounds he had picked up already and the sad defeat in his eyes. “I’m taking the Portal back down. Sorry Jimmy.”

“It’s alright Crip. We couldn’t have got this far without you,” Jimmy said as he patted Cripper on the shoulder.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done. You’ve saved my neck at least twice today.” Nairo tried in vain to put her arms around Cripper’s thick waist, so she settled on hugging his arm instead.

“Top work old lad, genuinely splendid stuff,” Barney said with a wonky smile.

Cripper nodded and quickly turned around.

“Hey big man,” Ridley called after him.

Cripper turned around and looked at the PI.

“You know Little Kang in Gnome Town?”

Cripper nodded.

“Come look for me when this is all done, we’ll grab a drink.” Ridley said with a small smile.

Cripper practically beamed at Ridley and nodded.

“Okay spy.”

“Get yourself quickly and quietly back to the lift. Ring the bell and barricade the door and Phineas’ll come back to get you,” Jimmy instructed. “And make sure you save us a couple of spots at lunch.”

“Fish ‘n’ chips.” Cripper grinned broadly and made his way creakily down the stairs.

Jimmy turned back to the remaining troops and set his jaw resolutely.

“We ready?”

“Tip top and ship shape,” Barney stood with only the slightest hint of a wobble in his legs.

“You’re gonna have to lose the coat Barney,” Jimmy said.

“No!” Barney gasped.

“In my experience skullduggery is a lot harder to pull off in midnight blue,” Ridley said.

“I suppose the rose doesn’t belong with the headstones,” Barney pontificated.

“Exactly,” Jimmy said.

“And the graveyard is all the worse for it,” Barney said with a poetic lilt.

He stood with the noble posture of a captain going down with the ship and slowly peeled his coat from his shoulders. With a flourish and fold he held in his coat draped across his arms like a fallen comrade.

“I hate to leave the old gal here like this,” he said mournfully.

“I understand,” Ridley said, placing a consolatory hand on Barney’s shoulder. “I’ve got a coat too.”

Barney held his hand and patted it. Gently, he draped it across the bannister of the staircase.

“Fret not old gal, I shall return for you when this is all done.”

“Shall we,” Nairo asked, using all of her willpower to not roll her eyes.

“Yes, let us complete the mission so our fallen combrade’s sacrifices were not made in vain!” Barney alighted the first step with a renewed fire in his eyes.

“That’s the spirit!” Jimmy followed excitedly up the stairs.

Nairo watched them jog up the stairs and then offered a hand to help Ridley up.

“By fallen comrades he means his coat doesn't he?” she asked him.

“You’re damn right!” Ridley rushed past her up the stairs.

She could have sworn she saw him wipe a tear from his eye.

“Here we go,” Nairo muttered to herself as she limped up the staircase wondering what peril awaited them.