Chapter 48: Wacky-Tabacky, Roommates, and InTolerance

“We have money problems, folks.” Whoever said ‘More money, more problems’ was an idiot. No money, more problems.

“Said everyone, everywhere,” Tess chimed in.

We were drinking ales at the “Inkspot”—I was having my usual screwdriver, having had to buy another bottle of the rough vodka—the usual drinking gang sitting at what was now ‘our’ table. This included my standard circle, with the additions of Gaelia and—yuck—Maldyn. Maybe he’d earn his keep and pick up the tab again. Tonight, a plucky band of Bards gave the open room some atmosphere—aside from the stench of crowded, unwashed bodies that mixed with stale beer, dubious food, and the local equivalent of tobacco smoke. Whether it was a trick of elven physiology or the chemical makeup of the leaves, this tobacco acted as a mild soporific and muscle relaxant, while inducing feelings of well-being. The only side-effect was increased hunger, giving partakers the cravings, the munch…

‘I’m describing marijuana, aren’t I?’

//Sure are, duuude//

Well, shit.

“There are always certain…people, who can loan you money, Book.” Maldyn didn’t even try to keep a straight face as he said it. Like I was dumb enough to go to a loan shark, even if it wasn’t Maldyn.

“No thanks. Anyway, our visit to “Vitor’s” took a hit on our finances.” Yes, it had been Tess and Tak’s money, but I couldn’t help thinking of the group as a whole. Which didn’t make sense, and I knew it.

//As long as you do. Crazy never thinks it's crazy//

‘Thanks, disembodied voice that only I can hear.’

Besides, my personal mace—my little Rosie—had made her way to me in the exchange. Exchange of coins, that is. All of the others—I didn’t include Gaelia or Maldyn in this, though it was undoubtedly true for them, too—had their own incomes. Sure, tectonically I did as well, but there was the whole Master Alric being a skinflint to consider. I did not expect them to pool all of their coin in our venture, obviously…

//You said it! Take a shot//

Crap. Those were the rules. I picked up the brown bottle and downed a slug of raw, potato alcohol, the rest of the table looking at me wide-eyed.

“Oh..gaah…urgh…” I tried to keep the contents of my stomach down, as the fire burned down my esophagus to land like a lump of lava in my gut.

“Book!”

“Oh, dude, ha!”

“Are you OK?”

“Fine, I’m fine. All good; just felt a sudden urge for a shot, ermmm…yes. Anyone else? No? Chickens.” I didn't expect any takers, it was a private game, after all. “And I know what you are going to say, Tess. You paid for your own equipment…”

“And you insisted on paying for the rest with scrolls, Book.”

“Well, yes, I did, but I had this idea in my head. Besides, I still owe you for rent and food. I always owe you for rent and food.”

“Rent’s no big deal. I’d have to pay the same if we didn’t live together. But, you have been hitting the food pretty hard, lately.” She said this last with a grin, even though there was a fair amount of truth to what she said. I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Hey, genius takes fuel. But back to my idea, I was thinking maybe we should all go in, and instead of thinking of it as a side business, or whatever, we form a co-op. Excepting Gaelia and…Maldyn…of course.”

That sounded bad, so I had to add in more, trying to direct my comment to encourage one and discourage the other. Guess which is which?

“Unless you are interested, that is. I don’t know your personal situation. And before you, ahem, city-folk ask what a co-op is, let me explain. It is usually referring to a business that is owned and controlled by its members. It also refers to a cooperative society, which is what I am thinking, though there would be business involved. Essentially, we would pool resources—not all, of course, before you jump down my throat. I know I’m in the shallow end of that pool. Again, country bumpkin reference; if you’re not used to those yet, then get used to it. Kidding, kidding.

Like I said, we each put in a certain amount—including contribution, my area of expertise.” I waggled my eyebrows, trying to deemphasize my absolute seriousness. “The products of my labor would be my main contribution. Anywho, we can use the co-op to fund our ventures, whether it be making money outside of our apprenticeships or kitting up as an adventurer. Then we would share any profits, equally distributed based on percentages, to fund the co-op over again. Thus, we become greater than the sums of our parts.” Whew, I didn’t regularly talk that much in one go.

I looked around the table, judging expressions and seeing if I’d hooked anybody. “So whaddaya think?”

“I think that you are talking about communism, Book.” This was Tess, for reasons that need not be explained. “And did you seriously use the word ‘thus’?”

//”Anywho?” “Thus?” “Sum of our parts?” “Need not be explained?!”//

‘That’s right grrrl, it’s The Return of the English Major: Vocabulary Strikes Back!’

Zzzzap…

My ass hopped off the bench I sat on, taking me with it as my eyes twitched and my jaw locked. ‘Hey, WTF? That hurt, Sia.’

“Wow guys, sorry. I think that swig of the swill I took is swinging back. No worries.”

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“Oh, God…dess, he is alliterating so he has to be OK.”

The rest of the table took a moment to parse Tess’s abruptly, um, elongated curse, but they seemed to accept it once they understood. Probably putting it down to our ‘simple’ upbringing.

//Do. Not. Ever. “Grrrl” me again, got it?//

‘Jeez, no offense intended. Not any more than usual, anyway.’ I clenched, waiting for a second shock. When it didn’t come, I refocused on the topic at hand.

“So, what you are saying is that you want to group up for mutual support, distributed spending, and profit sharing. Book, you just described a Guild.”

Well, thank you very much, Magali. You try seeing the obvious when you live in my head. Stupid realism.

“It is a solid idea, Book,” said Kolin. I thought he was trying to assuage my embarrassment, then he went on. “But I am already in such a group. It’s called a Guild Team.”

Oh, damn, no he didn’t! I sat there, my mouth flapping like a wounded bird, with no words coming out.

“Aw, Book. If you could see your face!” Thank you, too, Tess.

“Well, I don’t see anything funny about it,” Tak of all people jumped to my rescue. “I mean, I want to be on a Team. I know that I am not ready yet—now—but this would help me get one step closer to realizing it.”

“I, I kind of like it too,” Paytin spoke up, her voice gradually rising from too soft and ending on firm conviction. She didn’t speak a lot at these gatherings, her hearing deficit leading her to spend the time concentrating on understanding the conversation. Partial hearing and lip-reading took effort. I was a little surprised at her interest, to be honest.

“What?” she challenged the table. “The business is on a good foundation, up on its feet and running well.”

“But Marchon can’t do it without you, Paytin,” Magali said.

“She wouldn’t be, just like you all are not giving up on your apprenticeships. Besides, Mom is already planning on either hiring someone to help or even taking on another apprentice. I am already closer to journeyman than not.”

Wasn’t she too young for that? However, she did put a lot more hours into it than the rest of us. She was the epitome of where a dedicated work ethic could take you, curse her steadfast hide.

‘Get it? D’ya get it; Hide!’

//Groan//

‘She makes parchments from hides, see?’

//Go away//

“Might this co-op incorporate living space?” Paytin asked, causing Tak to perk up even further. “I wouldn’t mind having a place of my own, instead of above the shop. The odor starts to get to even me, despite what you guys think.” She tossed this last at Magali and me. Right, she could read lips. I’d have to remember that. There also comes a time when children need to break from their parents, just a bit.

“I am all for a shared living space.” As usual, when Tak was in on something she went all in.

Still, it wasn’t a bad idea, even though I hadn’t considered it before now. I looked at Tess, asking the question without words.

“Our place is decent enough, though the rent can sometimes be hard on me. Tess?” OK, I asked it anyway.

“I don’t know, can you stand being that far away from your precious sticky buns? And kabobs? And the rent is fine for me.”

“Yeah, but you have—had—a [Class].”

How does changing [Class] work anyway? Was it dual-[Class]ing like in RPG’s? I’d had to ask Kolin about it since it’s what he'd done when becoming an adventurer. Come to think of it, I didn’t know what actual [Class] he had now.

“You’re not an apprentice,” I continued. “Which means you earn real wages, not a meager stipend.”

“True,” said my roommate. “But you are right. Any money I can save up could go for better equipment.”

“It would be nice not to have to share quarters with my brothers,” put in Magali.

“And Chet.”

“Can’t forget Chet.”

“Me, too.” The voice surprised me, having put Gaelia—and Maldyn—out of the conversation.

“Gaelia?”

“I live by myself, and it gets lonely some nights.” The apprentice alchemist's words were shy, maybe expecting to be judged. “If that’s OK?”

“Sure,” I smiled at her. “The more the merrier.” I knew she had a crush on Magali, and I'm sure that factored in as well, he-he.

“The more contribution, the better the place,” said Tak, her personality right on point.

“I am glad to be included, Book,” said Kolin. “But I am contracted to a Team, so I’m already committed and have a place at the bungalow.”

“You know Kolin, you and Tess could always keep the apartment for some…alone time.” I had to dodge the bowl of nuts Tess threw at me, the ruckus drawing the ire of our regular barmaid. She made to approach the table, then Kolin turned his charming smile on her, and she blushed and went back to the rest of her customers. She’d be getting a good tip, again. I had expected Kolin to be the embarrassed one, not Tess. The big adventurer sat with a serene look on his handsome mug, the steady rock in the couple.

“Count me in.”

Crap on a cracker, that was Maldyn. How do I tell him to bugger off? Then he said something that made it even worse.

“My uncle owns an empty building, a couple of street over from the Guild Plaza.” I assumed that was the official name of what I always referred to as the courtyard, around which most major Guilds were situated. “He has been looking to get it renovated; I bet I can convince him to let us do the work, for little to no rent.”

No rent? Damn, now we had to seriously consider it. Although, the work might consume a good chunk of our time. Physical labor, grrrr.

“What about when it is done? That sounds like prime real estate.” Asked Magali, earning his title as ‘the brains’ of the group.

“I never said that we would have to work fast. I’ll tell him, ‘Quality takes time’. He won’t care, and it will get me out of his hair.”

‘Ooh, can you say bitter resentment?’

//Nothing like being saddled with an unwanted relative, huh?//

‘And vise-versa.’

“Is there enough room for all of us?” I had to speak with the man. If we were going to live under the same roof, it was time to build a tolerance for ‘asshole’.

“More than. It’s three stories, with a large, fenced-in courtyard.”

It sounded too perfect.

“Big job,” Magali said, surely thinking along the same lines.

“But not impossible,” Paytin said in her quiet voice.

“Exactly,” Tak supported the other woman.

“Tess?” I asked.

“Sure, why not? Especially if it’s that much closer to my training. As long as we can bring Stormy.”

“I don’t think I’ve met them,” said Magali. You two have another roommate you haven’t talked about?”

Kolin burst out laughing, intimately familiar with our ‘third’ roommate; he still had the scratches from when he’d ‘accidentally’ sat in Stormy’s spot on our couch. It had been nice to hear the high-pitched squeals coming from such a rugged specimen, instead of me. After he went on far longer than needed, Tess and I joined him, the laughter contagious. Now Kolin knew what it felt like to receive those looks, from people who didn’t get it.

Ah, it was glorious not to carry that burden all on my lonesome.

After Kolin settled, his over-exuberance un-settling me, he grew serious.

"About the training, Tess. Rolf took a contract for some work along the border, patrolling the Barrier Strait. I'm not sure how long we will be gone; it might be for some time. You are still welcome to use the place for your training, so don't worry about that. Also, you joining the co-op makes me happy; you'll always be around friends."

Judging from the look on Tess's face, that wasn't what she was worried about. The mirth drained from her, evaporating quicker the more Kolin talked.

"The gate security all know you, and that you have permission to be there. You might even be able to find some sparring partners from other Teams. However, most have taken a similar contract. But there is always someone around, looking to work up a sweat."

"Kolin..." Tess started, her voice smaller than I'd ever heard it.

"As you like to say, 'It's all good'. Do you want to head out, go for a walk? We can talk."

"OK," she said, trying to be chipper. I knew better.

Things quieted as the couple left, the rest of us lost in thought. It turned out to be an early night.

Oh, and Maldyn did settle the tab. Never discount the little things, as my therapist used to tell me.

Huzzah.