Chapter 24: Fwoomp!, Urrp!, and G-O-L-D

“What am I doing…why me…I don' wanna…huffhuffhuff...” I paced about thirty yards down range, far enough that those behind me were perfectly safe. Me, on the other hand, I was holding the damn thing. Whose bright idea was this, anyway? (Yours!) Right, right. 'Well, oh great voice in my head, you are stuck here with me', I thought hard at myself. I was starting to wonder about my internal thoughts, some not exactly feeling like they were mine alone. ‘If that is you, my friendly Tusk Industries [Mark .07], you supercomputing, bio-hacking collection of wires and circuits, and mind melding, invasive, parasite…where was I going with this? That’s right, if I go boom, then you go boom.’ (Wires?! How gauche)

I eyed my intended target, a roughly humanoid (arrogant)… person-shaped bundle of sticks and dried hay, with a half-rotted gourd for a head. I stopped three meters from it and ignored my watery knees. The scroll of [heat-blast] trembled in my hand as I held it out to arm’s length, the unfurled end jumping in exaggerated tandem. I looked like I had palsy. Or I needed a fix and the corner store was out of Twinkies.

“OK, here we go.” I closed my eyes, took two deep breaths, and tried to center myself. “Alrighty then…” I gently reached out with my [mana], just tickling the scroll’s trigger…

“Do it, hunh!” Rolf, Team Brawn’s leader, shattered my calm, any thoughts of caution fleeing in vain like a scalded howler monkey.

The inked words on the parchment flared into tendrils of fire, licks of smoke clouding the air, and traced each letter in the blink of an eye before burning completely through the sheet. Embers and char spread from the negative space still holding the shape of the words, consuming the scroll until the whole thing poofed into smoke. Three meters in front of me—nine feet!—a small fireball erupted from the center mass…fwoomp!…and the stuffed mannequin exploded in flames.

I jumped back a foot, too late to matter but unable to fight my flight. “Whoa.”

“Duuuude!” That was Tess. Before I knew it, her weight crashed into me and I staggered forward towards the fire, out of control. I bit off a yelp, dug my feet into the ground, and stopped just short of the blackened and smoking remains of the gourd. The heat from the burning facsimile beat against my face, leaving me flushed. Who had thought it a good plan to make the target out of ridiculously flammable materials? Yeah, that was Magali. He had wanted a good show and wallah! Mission accomplished.

The rest of the observers walked forward, more sedate and thoughtful. Kolin sported a huge grin, Magali acted all business nonchalant with Tak a half step behind, and Rolf had greed in his eyes. They stopped beside me, the flames casting shadows that swirled around their features. Rolf kept on a few more steps, invading my personal space so I had to move out of the way. The big adventurer peered down at the busted squash, then stamped his heavy booted foot down and ground the leftovers into the dirt. The smell of roasted pumpkin wafted into my face.

“Hunh,” he said, looking down at me from his greater height. I took another backward step so I didn’t have to crane my neck back in order to look into his eyes. Staring a customer square in the chest was a poor negotiating position. Literally.

“What do you think?” Magali asked him, trying to sound unimpressed, and the giant switched focus to the scribe.

“Could be better.” Rolf’s eyes judged the distance from us to the smoldering remains. “Awfully close, hunh.”

I could see Magali considering what to say, his mouth working a bit in silence. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he had a glob of peanut butter stuck to the roof of his palate (Mr. Ed! Oh, Wilbur…). Wow, that was dug up from deep in my mind, but internet memes rallied for the save.

“Not for good teams, Rolf. It is perfectly within the capabilities of a second liner. Or better yet, a stealth specialist. It is much greater than the reach of any sword, or of the claws of a monster. Fangs and stingers would be impotent. It could even be deployed from behind a shield, and imagine the look on your opponent’s face, then! Ha-ha.” Tak swooped in, coming to Magali’s rescue. Still recovering from my actions I had not even considered talking, but the fiery elf maiden went full-on sales wonder. Without being asked, I might add.

Rolf opened his mouth, and I sensed another ‘hunh’ dropping out. Tak didn’t give him the chance.

“With these scrolls in your arsenal, you will be the envy of any team. You want to climb the ladder, right? Move into a dwelling further up Guilded Row?” The city planners thought they were clever on that one. Gilded. Tak swept an arm, taking in the communal training field we stood on. “Maybe some private grounds to train on? Hmmm? Also, and think hard about this, Team Brawn would be the first to use these groundbreaking [heat-blast] scrolls. You, Rolf, could lead the team that leads the pack.” The big adventurer's eyes glowed with ambition.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Magali and I stared at each other, jaws wagging in the wind. But we knew when to keep our traps shut, so we snapped them closed and squared our shoulders. We had found the perfect front person and face of this new endeavor of ours. I made a quick decision, determined to make sure this was not a one-time thing, smaller margins be damned.

“Exclusive,” Rolf said in a flat tone. He was good at stating questions as a done deal. That and 'hunh' were his trademarks.

Tak shook her head, looking sad but resolute. “Sorry, no.” She finally graced us with a look. I don’t know what she saw on our blank faces, but she gave a decisive nod and focused solely on Rolf, again. “Not long-term, anyway. But, maybe, as our first buyer for the [heat-blast]s, we could see to giving you the right of first refusal for, say, the initial ten scrolls that are crafted.”

Ten of them? I could swing that, I think.

“Twenty-five.”

My eyes bugged out at the number Rolf named. That was a lot of scrolls to find materials for. We would need to bring Paytin in for sure, if she was willing. We were headed to see her, next.

“We could do fifteen.” Tak countered.

“Hunh, twenty.”

Tak made a show of thinking—she had no idea what we could produce!—and paced in a small circle. She suddenly stopped and turned back to Rolf. She hesitated, then nodded firmly. “Seventeen, firm. That is the best we can do for you, Rolf. A great opportunity, all around. Don't forget about the Festival of Trials coming up.”

"Team Brawn is already official, so what do we care?" That was the longest sentence that I had ever heard him say. Had Tak found a chink in his armor?

"That is just the main event appealing to the public. We both know there will be other chances to show off, maybe catch the eye of a rich sponsor?" Tak sure could talk when she donned her professional persona.

“Twenty-five silver each.” Again, Rolf stated the question.

“Rolf, really, don't try to lowball me. I, we, were thinking along the lines of…” Tak was ready to take off again.

Numbers, numbers everywhere! They were dive-bombing me from every angle, shooting holes in my limited patience. I could not listen to any more talk of numbers without chewing my tongue to ribbons, so I put my brain to rest and thought of butterflies and apple pie. (Mmmm, pie)

Tess interrupted me before I could start to drool, taking me by the arm and walking me off to the side.

“Book, dude, that was awesome. The way that dummy went up, swoosh!” She threw her hands up in the air, releasing me from her grip as we kept walking. There went my human touch.

“Dried-out hay and sticks will do that.” Good old me, self-deprecating as usual. Humble. Let’s go with humble. “Did you know a new scroll would be this big of a deal?”

“Yes, actually, I did. I have been getting some basic adventuring knowledge out of Kolin, and he told me how long it has been since magic made any new progress. Only a few old campaigners have seen it in their lifetimes. This is going to make a huge splash, Book. I hope you’re ready.”

“Not in the least,” I shook my head. And I was the one that was supposed to know about magic, not Tess. I have a blind spot when it comes to whatever talent I might have. “Is that why we found you here, with Kolin? Learning about being an adventurer?”

When Magali, Tak, and I had arrived at Team Brawn’s bungalow we found Tak and Kolin sitting in a chair on the deck. She was in his lap, urrp!, but I swallowed the bile in the back of my throat. I now considered Kolin a friend, but I could’ve lived without that sight. When I had told them why we had made the trek here, Kolin set Tess on her feet and went to find Rolf. His chair wasn’t all that far away, so Kolin was back with his team leader in a matter of minutes. After hearing me, Rolf led the group of us to this training field, and the other members of Team Brawn tagged along in our wake.

“Yes, Book. You know I have been thinking about it.” She knew I disapproved of the idea, my face giving it away, but rightly thought I had no say in the matter.

“Since you met Kolin.” I couldn’t keep the sullenness at bay, the words spilling forth in mild accusation.

“That’s right, Book,” she returned with mild warning. She said it with a smile, so I nodded ruefully. “You know I want to be more than a [Courier]. You are.”

“Well, if you do become an adventurer, I know this guy who can hook you up with some fancy scrolls. For a price, of course.”

“Oh, of course.”

“The guy is kind of a mess, though, so I bet you could get a good discount.”

“I like the sound of that.” She clutched my arm again, bumping shoulders. It felt good. Don’t you dare bat those caramel eyes at me, woman!

“There is one problem,” I sighed. “See, this guy, he has partners, and they are all about the gold, G-O-L-D.”

Tess squeezed my arm tighter, laughing at my so-called solemn banter.

“The red-head sure can sell. You’ve told me about your friend, Magali, but I don’t think you have mentioned her, before.”

Why did I feel oddly guilty? “She’s not really a part of it or wasn’t anyway. Tak was tagging along to see how the new scroll worked, then when the negotiations started she just jumped in. A good thing, too”

“Tak, huh.” Tess mused over the name. “I think you’d better recruit her, fast.”

“Trust me, I intend to. How could I not, after that display? I’m sure Magali will agree, too. He also has another person in mind, a supplier, but I want to keep it at that. Unless…?”

“Not my thing,” Tess said and shook her head. “I plan on training up, putting my money towards some equipment once I find a specialization.”

“I do owe you, Tess, for the rent. Maybe I could offer something in trade, instead.” I tried (failed) to raise one eyebrow. How do people do that?

“I’d be up for that, How much?”

“No idea. I’ll let you know as soon as Tak tells me.” I gave her a goofy grin, and we both broke up laughing. “I still have both eyebrows, don’t I?”

We walked back to Rolf and Kolin’s—and teammates'—rundown shack masquerading as a bungalow amidst a fit of humor.

I crack me up.

(Groan!)

"Any ideas on specializing?" I asked her in an attempt to mend fences.

"Something fast!" She took off and sprinted, grinning ear to pointed ear, and left me to stare after her. She had a nice...form.

I waited until she was too far away to hear me (coward), then mumbled "Just remember, you always have one option if the fires get too hot...

...RUN AWAY!"