Chapter 35: Miss Kessel, Agent Scolly, and the Nightshade Gang

I wasn’t out for long, thankfully. I came to with a horrid headache, something they always tend to overlook in the novels I devour by the half dozen per month. Or at least, I used to. Now? Who has the time?

Sound was the first sense to return, and I could hear a mixed babble of voices, ones that quickly sorted themselves out into individuals in my head. It seemed Kolin was doing the most talking—with Tess making excited interjections—explaining what had happened to the deep baritone—and even deeper boredom—of a voice new to me.

“So, you walked into a private residence without leave” The words were accusatory, but the tone was one of ‘Can we move this along? A cup of coffee and Krispy Kreme are waiting for my attention.’

“I guess…”

“We had an informal invitation.” Tess jumped over Kolin’s hesitance.

There was a pause, and I couldn't help picturing a single raised eyebrow. Even an imagined one made me jealous.

Next, the sensation of a tweaked back and cricked neck assaulted me, and I let out a groan.

“Aaahgh,” OK, more of a zombie moan. It seemed I had been propped up in a corner against the brick walls, I could feel one behind each shoulder, with a void where my spine was. I’m sure whoever had placed me was trying to make me comfortable, but I felt all twisted, like a pretzel. Mmmm…giant salt flakes and spicy beer cheese. My inner Homer Simpson was awake.

I finally opened my eyes, having kept them closed to avoid attention. I figured the escaped moan had already sold me out. Paytin and Magali were leaning against the walls next to me, one on either side, so I lifted my arms up for a standing boost. They had to do most of the work, getting me upright.

“You alright, Book?” Magali asked in concern. Paytin’s face told of her own concern for me, as she looked intensely into my eyes, checking for clarity.

“Uh, sure,” I told Magali, meanwhile giving Paytin a firm nod, trying to convey my thanks. We still didn’t know each other all that well, so her sympathy was touching. Man, I had really missed having friends—aside from Tess, of course—since arriving here, and it was nice having people care about you. I looked around for the others, seeing Kolin and Tess standing before a very bland elf—so plain it actually made him stand out—in an officious uniform made up of various shades of tan and beige. Obviously, some sort of law enforcement type, the one questioning my friends. That accounted for everyone but…

Where was Tak?

It took a moment to scan the room since moving my head caused the world to tilt on its axis. Using mostly my eyes and the tiniest twisting of my neck, I finally found the redhead. She was standing along the wall, between the still open doorway and one of the large windows, deep in shadow. Her head hung, shoulders slumping, and stared fixedly at the tips of her boots. Hunh, wonder what that’s all about?

Before I could ponder further, my attention was drawn back to the…cop? Constable? Park Ranger? I was almost expecting a fir tree badge for Parks and Recs, but no…OMG, was that?!

The discordance just about took me back to the floor, then I got a closer look at the badge emblazoned on the uniform over the guy’s heart. It was a spreading oak tree, with an out-sized acorn resting under it, and it was bright blue. Very natural looking, oh yes. At least he wasn’t wearing a campaign hat to go with it. That would have been too much for me, the fragile state I was in.

“What did you ask?” It was hard to concentrate with the ringing in my ears.

“I said,” the official repeated, even his annoyance coming across as bland. He’d make a great spy. Nobody would see him coming, and if they did, they just wouldn’t care. “Why did you enter without permission?”

Wait, was this guy trying to put the blame on us? I straightened my knees and stood ramrod stiff, indignation giving me a false strength.

“My Master…”

“Name?”

“Uh, Alric Tavoryn, of ‘Papers & Powers’, he…”

“I know who he is. What does that have to do with entering?”

Dude, let me answer and I’ll tell you! Besides, you asked. “You, see, I…we have been looking for a place to do some, uh, independent work, and he gave me this address. And he, well, implied…” (No, he did not! You ass-u-me ‘d) OK, so, not really, but let’s go with it, “…that we were free to enter.”

“And you were.” A new voice joined the conversation, coming from a woman who now stood framed in the doorway. Tak shimmied deeper into the shade, making herself small. WTF?

“Ah, Miss Kessel.” It was the first time any true emotion colored the officer's tone—obsequious.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Guild Agent Scolly.” Agent Scolly, for real? Ha! “Are these the ones that cleared the riffraff out of my attic?”

“Um, yes ma'am. They broke in, finding…”

“Broke in? No, no, no. Alric is an old friend, so I gave permission for his apprentice to do some extra work here. You are Book, right?” She pointed a work-roughened finger at me, the force of it giving me a little start.

“Yes, Ms. Kessel. And these are my friends, Magali, Tess…”

“I don’t need the whole rundown, sweetie. I saw the guards escorting some thugs away; they were the trespassers, not these young ones.” She made a sweeping gesture to encompass us all.

“Ma’am? Those…others, they didn’t work for you?”

That sounded ominous. What had we stumbled into?

“Of course not! Why would I hire cheap criminals? I run a legitimate business, don’t you say otherwise!”

That might have been a little quick if you asked me.

Her fire took Scolly aback, the agent clearly expecting a different answer. He stood, his mouth opening and closing like the hippo on the last hole of Kirby’s Miniature Golf and Laser Tag Emporium. Ooh, put miniature golf on the list! (Really? Fine.) Say what now?

“Yes ma’am, of course. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.” Scolly tried to backtrack, but Kessel wasn't having any of it. She got closer, and poked the man in the chest with the same finger she’d thrust at me.

Yeah, getcha some!

“These apprentices saved me from having to oust them myself, though it might’ve been fun to stretch my muscles a bit.”

She flexed an arm, stabbing at the bulging bicep on display with her already-loaded finger. She could be Ronda Rousey’s older, I don’t know, aunt or something. (Hey, the English Major is back. Oh, goody) Why I oughta…I restrained myself from shaking my fist. My friends already thought I was weird, I didn’t need my new ally to think the same.

‘I can neither affirm nor deny such a statement’, he-he.

“Just go, Scolly.” Kessel grabbed the elf by the arm, forcibly walking him to the open door.

“I still have to report this to the Guild.”

“Oh sure, tell the Masters that I had an infestation, and a bunch of apprentices cleared it out--instead of the Guild law, thank you very much!--in lieu of the first month’s rent. Now, get.”

With Scolly gone, we bunched up for support. Seeing as Tak hadn’t moved from her spot since this whole kerfuffle began, I shuffled over close to her, with the others following. I didn’t know what was eating her, but I wanted to show a cohesive front. All for one, and all that jazz.

"So, you’re Alric’s hard luck case, then.” She made it sound almost like an accusation. Hard luck case? Well, sure, but I didn't like hearing it. “He asked me to consider letting you the attic room. For cheap,” she snorted.

“Well,” I started, “you did tell that Scolly fella the first month’s rent was paid by taking those guys out, right?” Who did I think I was, brushing the terrifying confrontation off as if we did things like it every day? For Christ…Acorn’s sake, my legs were still rubbery noodles.

“Ha! I like you, kid. Alric chose well, it seems.” She gave me an uncomfortably long scrutiny from my bald head to my scuffed boot tips. It made me feel cheap, unworthy, causing me to squirm in said footwear.

“Um, excuse me, ma’am,” Kolin politely addressed the older woman. “But those men, what were they doing here?”

Kessel transferred her scrutiny to the adventurer, quickly sizing him up. “Guild boy, huh?”

Kolin flushed under his deep tan.

“I’m with a registered Guild Team if that’s what you are asking.” His calm demeanor never cracked. He would have made the ultimate Eagle Scout.

Speaking of guilds, though, and Agent Scolly—if he had long red hair, too, and a few more curves, I would’ve lost my shit—did they provide law enforcement for Oakheart? Which Guild? And just how many guilds were there? So much to still learn.

“So an adventurer, then, that explains some things. Big Jhok and his crew are a tough nut.”

“You did know them, then?” Kolin was fixated on a trail.

“Know of, my boy, know of. You can’t make a living around here without. They like to make temporary hideouts all over this sector, sometimes hiding in plain sight close to their next target.”

It seemed a bit thin to me, but this was Kolin’s hunt, not mine.

“If that’s so, and everybody knows them, why are they still walking around?”

“Ha, not anymore, thanks to you kids. Good riddance, at least for a while. Of course, they get caught now and then, and we all keep an eye out for them, but they rarely seem to spend much time in lockup.”

“They’re connected?” The back and forth reminded me of a cheesy police procedural show.

“Are you daft, my boy?” I could see the repeated ‘my boy’s wearing as thin as the theory. “They are a third-tier Guild Team…you’re what? Fifth-tier?”

“Sixth.” Credit to Kolin for speaking that straight and firm. And tiers? Sigh, another thing I didn’t know about (you could fill a book, Book). I’d noticed the housing divisions on Guilded Row but didn’t know there was an official ranking system. But of course there was; were there ‘S’ grades, or Diamond ranks? Do I need to look out for Jason’s, or Jake’s? Zach's would be my choice.

If you know, you know…

“Jhok and his crew are Team Nightshade.”

Kolin gulped. “Oh.”

I guess the name was familiar.

“Don’t worry, you already took them down once, right?” Kessel cackled. “A group of young nobodies, only two adventurers among the bunch, surely that can’t hurt the pride of Guild Team-slash-crime gang known for underhanded vengeance?”

Wow, she was enjoying this way too much, and at our expense. I had better ask Kolin where he got that healing salve, and start stocking up. Damn, my hand still hurts!

Also, two adventurers? It seemed Tess was predestined. Front the quick, cut-scene glances I’d seen during the dust-up, my fellow Earther was more bad-ass than the trained Team guy. I’m glad she was on my side.

From there things quickly scaled down, with Kolin somewhat satisfied, if a little peaked around the eyes. Magali and Paytin worked out an arrangement with Kessel—first month free!—the charming scribe doing most of the talking and the parcheminier injecting quiet points. Our front person, Tak, still hadn’t said anything at all, even when addressed directly. Just incoherent mumbles. It worked out OK, even so. Magali was the mind and Paytin had the pulse of the workers behind the scenes. They made a good team, but this would have been a good time for the ultra-charming salesperson to take point.

Sigh, again. Tak was my next assignment.

After figuring out what I’d done, improvising that little [heat-blast].

*Ding!*

And smearing on some more ointment.

And freaking out over the idea of a gang wanting vengeance against little ol’ me.

Monday’s, am I right?

(Eight-day, but let’s not be pedantic)

Did I hear...?