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Chapter Five: Sippin' on Sunshine

Previously: Suddenly! A pillar of light ignited the atmosphere and cleared away the dark mist!

"What is that!?" I screamed.

In the distance, I saw a blondie standing on top of the Capital's walls, raising a staff. Was she the one who made the pillar of light?

"That's Archmage Moomoo-chan! She's the best mage we've got!" The old man was clearly a fan of her and was leering at her pervertedly. I smacked him in the head.

Ugh, I hate to admit it but she was kind of pretty. She looked a bit like Hilary Duff, and had that California girl vibe to her. She was probably dumb, like a valley girl! I remember seeing the Miss America Contestants and they were all so dumb! I was so much prettier and sexier than them, and smarter to boot. I planned on attending the show when I turned eighteen and surprising everyone with my smartness, but I guess that'll never happen now...

Suddenly, I felt depressed.

But then, I cheered up again!

In the distance, horses charged into greet the Revolution Army. At the head was a knight in shining armor on a white horse... no seriously!

He wasn't wearing a helmet, and had dazzling blond hair that glinted like sand on a hot summer beach, much better than the dirty blond that Moomoo-girl or whatever her name was. He had a sharp jawline and nice kissable lips, and looked a little like Brad Pitt.

OH EM GEEE!!! Another hottie?!?!

The two armies halted and the leader hotties got off their horses to talk to each other.

"Old man, let's get closer! I want to hear what they are saying!?"

"What?! No! It's dangerous. What if they kill my mules. Pumpkin and Squash have been with me for years. I can't let them die like this!"

"Fine! I'll go myself then!"

I handed him a silver coin and began running to where the sexy hunks were.

I've always been charitable and never stingy with my money. For example, I donated a thousand dollars to charity every month! I was a bit touched that the old man was willing to sacrifice himself to me, so I had to repay him somehow. Hopefully he can afford a better wagon with that money. The ride was too bumpy because the wagon was old and in need of repairing. Ugh, I hate peasant transportation! Never again!

I was never physically very strong because I was delicate and stayed indoors and my model-like physique only had slim beautiful muscles. However, that didn't mean I wasn't fast at running. In fact, I won the New York State running competition for girls under 16! Also, I joined the NYC Marathon every year. It was nice running with peasants once in awhile.

Running is also important if you want a toned butt and legs.

"Huh, huh, huh." I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. I bet I looked like a water goddess right now, so sexy!

The soldiers must think so too, because they were sneakily stealing glances at me while trying to pay attention to their leaders. Sigh, what ugly bonobos! Can't you guys do your duty and control yourself?!

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The two studmuffins finally noticed me as I neared and they turned around to look at me, dumbfounded at my graceful, ballerina-like running.

I grasped both of their hands with my sweaty ones.

"Guys! Don't fight for me! Think of all the peasants who would suffer because of the rash decisions of us, the elite!"

Gosh, I was like Helen of Troy. All these hunkies were willing to do anything for me, even go to war and fight to death! But I was a nice beautiful goddess, I'd feel guilty if anything were to happen to the plebians.

"Mmm... Scarlet-chan, you smell nice!" The dark-haired emo-rock star hottie told me.

I laughed onto the back of my hands like an elegant lady. "I've been told that before."

"Kairos! Now is not the time to chat up some girls! What are you thinking, leading the reserved forces to the capital? Do you want to rebel against the King?!"

"We aren't going to fight, Moofasa. A sneak attack may have worked, but I cannot face a stand-off with the Royal Vanguard with my quality of troops. It would be a massacre."

So the dark hair hottie is called Kairos, while the blond hair hottie is Moofasa. I dedicated these two names to memory, it was easy because I had superior memory compared to peasant folk.

"Brotha... I know how you feel about the summoning. But why don't we give these heroes a try? They are human too, just from another world."

"I have a very bad feeling about this, Moofasa. I hope I'm wrong. I just wish we had some safeguards. By the way, how did you know that we were going to attack? Was there a double agent?"

"No! It was Moomoo-chan. She has command over all the cows in the nearby pastures. We knew your every move before you even started moving." Moofasa pointed at the castle walls, towards a very large-breasted blonde.

"I should've known!" Kairos did a hairflip.

"Kairos-san, don't feel too bad. If anything, the three of us should be enough to overpower any "heroes" who don't play by the rules. But right now, the priority is to reclaim the olden lands from the monsters!"

Kairos nodded, his sexy black hair bobbing up and down. "As long as I have your word. I must return to the outposts, I hear there is a goblin raid incoming."

"Good luck brotha from another motha!" Moofasa saluted and Kairos departed with his soldiers.

"I'll be back in a month. I.. hope to see you then, so we can get to know each other better." Kairos whispered in my ears with a meaningful smile.

"As long as I have your word," I chuckled.

I waved goodbye as Kairos faded into the horizon. Damn, he has the best butt I've ever seen!

Suddenly I felt a jab on my backside. It was sharp and hurt quite a bit!

I turned around and met face to face with large boobs!

"Iyah!!" I screamed. "Moomoo-chan!"

"Huh, this whore already knows my name?! Then get your filthy hands off my man!"

The big-boobie mage girl karate-chopped Moofasa and my hands, and they separated.

"Babe, calm down. She was trying to help." Moofasa massaged Moomoo-chan's shoulders and reassured her.

Huh? Oh! I forgot to let go of Moofasa's hands! But what a bitch! Just because I was so much prettier and sexier and cuter than her, she felt threatened.

I get this treatment alot back in highschool. I didn't have that many friends because basically every single guy in school was chasing after me and few of the girls had boyfriends, and the ones who did were extra poisonous towards me because they were always scared that I'd steal theirs.

Not that I would've dated any of those losers, though.

"Moomoo-chan, my sincere apologies." I did a curtsie, like a princess. "I did not understand the nature of your relationship with Moofasa-san. I'll make my leave."

It was always good to act courteous in front of guys, especially in front of their jealous girlfriends. They will see the difference of quality between temperment, and I already won in terms of looks, elegance, and class. Moofasa was too good to date Moomoo-chan anyways. She was only sort of pretty and had milk machines.

"Wait, Scarlet-san!"

I ignored Moofasa's call and headed towards the gate. The sun beamed against the golden exterior, and it was bright, just like my future. I didn't have time for this kind of drama, first I needed to ensure that I can survive in this new world.

This was my second chance at life, and I'm not going to waste it.