"Scarlet-chan... Scarlet-chan..."

Mmm... Who's calling me?! So annoying!

It's not a schoolday today so I can sleep until 2:00. Wait a minute... I live alone right? That means, no one should be calling me.

Unless it was a psychotic stalker who broke in!? Or maybe a panty thief!?

But my apartment complex has top notch security: two kung fu masters and two real life ninjas were hired from India to protect the inhabitants from the peasants who try to scam our hard-earned money. One time there was a burglar who targetted an elderly couple on the sixty eight floor. He came at 2:00 AM, somehow got pass the desk security and got into the elevator. It went well for him until he got to the forty second floor... The entire elevator blackened and the CCTV became all static-y, you couldn't even see what was happenning!

The burglar was found in the morning passed out, and pinned up against the elevator wall with shurikans. He had been given an intense wedgie, so intense that his underwear was pulled up to his shoulders and pinned against the wall with shurikans too. The trauma report said he was inflicted with a roundhouse dragon kick to his tummy and had poison darts sticking out of his buttocks. The whole event was harshed up but everyone knew it was the doings of the elite security force...

With such reliable security, there shouldn't be a intruder in my room. Well, if it isn't an intruder.. then maybe.. could it possibly be? Tears welled up in my still-closed eyes.

"D-daddy... It's been so long."

But what awaited my eyes was not my beloved father who I only saw once a year during Hanukkah...

It was a devishly handsome man who looked around my age. He was... perfect? He had seventy-two packs of abdominal muscles and two perky hardened breasts with ripe nipples.

"Iyahhhh!" I screamed sexily. Hiding my face behind my hands, I peeked shyly out of the in-betweens of my fingers. "H-how did you manage to get into my room?!" I demanded with a shaky voice. Seeing those delicious muscles I assumed he had no problem beating all the security just to... get to.. me.

Sigh, why do I have to be so popular?!

The mysterious hunk rustled his gorgeous pink hair and stared at me with his golden eyes.

"Seems like you were having a pretty good dream, huh, Scarlet-chan?"

"B-"

"Shh..." He put a tender finger against my rosy cute pink lips. "I don't mind you calling me daddy," he said, winking.

"Who are you, and why are you in my room?!" I demanded. He might be handsome, but who did he think it was, hushing me?! He should wait in line with the other millions of suitors.

"Scarlet-chan, don't be mad! Take a look around you... Is this your room?"

I did as he asked and to my surprise... I was in the middle of the sky, literally!

"Iyah!!!" I sceamed flailing my arms around. I'm going to fall! Speaking of falling... didn't I just "fall" recently? That word seems to be triggering me. Suddenly, like I was hit hard in the head, memories came flooding into my head. I remember being pushed off of the roof by that obese gay-lo and subsequently falling to my premature death. I guess I wasn't dead, since I am still alive?

"Scarlet, beautiful one, don't be afraid!" Strong, hardened, muscular arms wrapped them around me and my head fell onto a bouncy breast, a pointy nipple to the side of my cheek. "You are safe with me!"

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"Hentai!~~ Get away from me!" I screamed.

The man backed off and then I realized... he was totally naked!!!!!!!!!

Noticing my intense burning stare, he looked down and said, "Oops, I haven't had visitors for so long, I forgot to put clothes on. Silly me, tehe. Well, I'm not embarrassed, because this is but this one's corporeal form, after all."

Mist swirled into existence and covered his nether regions and nipples like a ghostly speedo and man bra.

"Wha..." I squeuled in surprise.

"You see, here in cloud kingdom, everything is made out of clouds!"

I looked around and it was true: the fluffy bed, the floor, and even the clothing was made out of clouds. Upon looking around, I caught sight of my own body... I was naked?!?

Steam began blowing out of my ears. I was angry as heck!!! I got up confrontationally and reached for my pepper spray... but it wasn't there! Oh right, I had no clothes on. Usually it would be in the back pocket of my chic skinny jeans.

His piercing golden eyes lured at my beautifully exposed body. "Mmmmm..." he moaned.

"You dirty bastard!" Although I was not his match, it would be a disgrace to all women if I don't give him a beating. "What did you do to me while I was having my beauty sleep?!"

I rushed forward and prepared to slap him, but to my surprise he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Over here!"

I whipped around and saw that he was sitting on the bed now. "Haha, don't be so angry, I didn't do nothing while you were asleep! Here!"

With a snap of his fingers cool mist began to form around my body, covering my ravishing breasts and captivating bottom area. We both were wearing the same things... it was like we were a couple! I blushed, hiding my face.

"What do you want?! Money? My Otou-sama is very rich. He is one hundred and eighty eight on the Forbes Top 500. He will pay whatever you want, just don't hurt me!"

"Silly Scarlet, mortal wealth does not interest me."

"Th..Then is it me you want?"

His wolf-like eyes narrowed and he seemed to consider my question for a moment.

"You surely are a one-of-a-kind beauty, mesmerizing, seductive yet elegant, sexy yet cute. Even for a god who should be immune to this kind of attraction."

"You are a g-god?" I asked, my voice pouring like honey.

"Yes, Scarlet. Yesterday at 11:39, you passed away after being pushed off the roof of the elite Stuyouran Highschool, a crime of passion." His eyes sparkled and he whispered, "Of course, the offendant will be properly punished when his time comes. As for you... you must be judged thoroughly. Right here, right now."

"Humph," I said haugtily. "I've been a good person all my life so of course I'll be judged goodly."

With a flick of my scarlet hair I added, "And besides, whose fault is it that I'm so beautiful that I got killed!"

The god pondered for a moment. "What you've said is true, and besides, I only judge the best out of the best people. I usually only judge once in a century. For example, I've judged Marilyn Monroe, Chester Bennington, Christina Grimmie, and Amy Winehouse."

OH EM GEE! They are my heroes! Of course, they couldn't compare to Avril Lavigne but my god were they good.

"You had unlimited potential, you could've been one of them, been somebody..." He clenched his fist. "But you were taken before your time."

I thought about all my fanboys, friends, and parents. They were probably so sad right now... and they wouldn't even know how I died! Suddenly I felt depressed. But I must be strong, if not for my sake, then for theirs.

"God, what are my options?"

"God? You can call me Kirito-kun. From now on we are friends!"

"Then Kirito-kun, what will happen from now?"

He looked at me, his muscular thick arms crossed, his shiny eyes staring intensely into mine, as if he was reading my memories. He looked different... more serious and business-like.

"Scarlet-chan, you've had incredible moral character for such a young lady. Always donating to those less fortunate to you... truly goodwill incarnated into perfect, sexy flesh. For your upstanding behavior you will be... sent to the cycle of reincarnation... into the just-released VMMORPG Doki Doki Magical World. You will turn into bytes of data, an NPC, in the eyes of others. But through this game, I hope you can experience all that was unfairly stolen from you. You will gain a second chance at life, where your amazing beauty does not mar you. This sentence is final!"

Pink petals blew up, circling me and a pillar of light blasted down from the heavens onto where I was standing.

"I'm afraid I won't have long... I've used too much power. I must go rest again. Scarlet, it was my pleasure meeting with you. Until, next time!"

I don't know how to feel about reincarnating into a.. what? Some virtual reality game? It seemed like what those nerdy loser kids like fatso played. But then again, my superior upbringing taught me to always be grateful for what you are given.

I gave a captifying smile to Kirito as he fell onto the bed, fast asleep.

I turned upwards braced as the light grew brighter and brighter and my world started shaking.

And then there was nothing.