"I always needed time on my own. I never thought I'd need you there when I cried."

It was raining today. Of course it was. I felt every raindrop against my face, kissing it, before streaming down and integrating into a sea of sadness.

I laughed a bit ruefully, "Even heaven is crying, after losing one of its angels."

I sat down next to the tombstone, gently, as to not disturb it's owner. I didn't care if my school uniform got muddy. My cute imoutou couldn't get me to wake up in the morning. The food tasted bland. I didn't react to my fangirls calling me in school. I didn't care much about anything at all today, or maybe tomorrow, or maybe a week from now, a month, a year, a lifetime.

"I wonder if you are doing well right now." 

Of course I didn't get an answer. The dead can't speak. And the truth was, you only live once. Scarlet was gone from my life. This was an indefinite fact. I only deal with absolutes. She was only one person, yet she was also everything. She was gone, a fragment the universe didn't care it had lost. Recycled to dust, just time counting down. Expiration dates aren't recommendations, they are final. Food poisoning causes bad diarrhea but life is so susceptible to poison. It wilts as it exists, like a rose. 

I wonder what went through her mind the moment she jumped off the roof. Regret? Relief? Or just numbness, like how I was feeling right now.

I deposited a bouquet of flowers at her grave. Blood-red roses and wild poppyflowers. She was Scarlet, everlasting on the school rooftop, her smile a beam of golden sunshine as the sun made its way back home. She was beautiful and wild, untouchable, growth sprangled free, seed growing on heart, vine wrapping around neck. And she will be here forever. Knives slashed my red scarlet beating heart but I will keep her safe. Forever is often a broken promise. But I promise to do it, guard her indefinitely against Time. I only deal with absolutes.

I got up from the ground and dusted off my pants and turned around. It was going to be a long walk home. Or maybe not. I didn't care where I went. Just as long as I kept walking. Walking kept the pain away. And there was music in my head. That kept me from thinking. Good. 

"When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you..." 

Avril Lavigne. Scartlet adored her.  She often sang alone, afterschool in her homeroom. She'd be the only one left, doing cleaning duty and she didn't think anyone was there, listening in on her, so she just sang like she couldn't stop-"

It hurts to think about her. I took my phone out of my pocket to change the song. 

"When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too..." 

She sang this same song. Twirling around with a dirty mop, fiery hair spinning on all directions. Spring fairy dancer on cleaning duty. Spirited ballerina without a care in the world. Pretend rock-star with a broom handle guitar. 

I gulped, eyes watering for I knew that winter was here and that the ballerina had sprained her ankle and that rock n roll was dead. 

"When you're gone. The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay."

And I realized that I was walking on memories. 

A girl once gave a pink sparkly umbrella to her friend on a raining day just like this. It was raining hard that day, harder than today, and her friend must have forgotten to bring one. The girl smiled, not for me, not for the world, not for the rain, not for her friend. It was an otherworldly smile that made my heart sprint. Pit pat! Pit pat! With her bookbag over her head, she ran to the cover of her limousine. 

A girl like that once lived...

I crumbled onto my knees, hands buried in face. Tears are invisible on a rainy day, but uncontrollable sobs aren't. Despairing boy. Damp ground. Weeping heavens. Gone girl. Another memory etched in time. 

"I miss you..." 

The end of the song. I whispered the words out as Avril sang them. It was one of those wierd coincidences that you think are special but then you realize that the song was probably so deep buried in your subconsciousness that it wouldn't be very random at all for you to do so, if you thought about it logically. 

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"What a bitch! I'm so happy she killed herself!" 

"Yeah she totes deserved it for hogging up all the guys! She was such a slut!" 

"I know right! I can't believe I had to pretend to be her friend for two whole years! TWO WHOLE YEARS!" 

"Right sistah?! Also, did she hear? She donated all of her money to some poor hobo camp! Apparantly it was in her will." 

"What an ungrateful piece of shit! We were "friends" with her for two years and we got nothing?!" 

"Yeah! But atleast she's rotting and dead now, haha! Serves that whore right! I heard her parents didn't love her, they didn't even attend her funeral."

"Ouch. I would kill myself if I was her too!"  

I turned around, stone gargoyle staring at three giggling girls. Kicking and desecrating the grave, they sent violent flower petals flying in a maelstrom. Boutiques slaughtered, splayed lifeless on the ground. They were having the time of their lives. 

Walking usually keeps my mind off things.

But running doesn't. I was rage, unbridled and uncensored, bringing a world of hurt and anguish by my side to extinguish evil. I think I have an idea now of why Scarlet chose to go the way she did. How could I not have seen it?! Self-hatred can come later, though. Those monsters in front of me had to be exterminated first. 

"STOP!!!" 

The three girls looked at my sprinting form in shock.

"N-natsume-san! What a coincidence that senpai is here too! We were just paying our respects to Scarlet-chan." 

"Yeah the wind really made a mess! We were just about to clean up!" 

My eyes stared not at the girls, but at Scarlet's tombstone. It was muddied, brown covering its gray exterior.

"I heard everything you said before." 

They looked at each other in alarm, deer in headlights. "O-oh you did? We were just... we were-" 

"We were joking!" One of the girls added in. 

"Yeah, we weren't being serious!" 

I didn't stare away from the tombstone. Some raindrops washed away the dirt, leaving a downwards trail of clean. Good. 

"Abusing the dead sure is funny."

"Natsume-san we're sorry." A girl clung to my arms. "Besides, Scarlet-chan had a great sense of humor. She would've thought it was funny!" 

I flung her off. 

"Don't ever talk to me or visit this tombstone again. If you do, I'll make sure you regret that you were ever born." 

"Natsume-san, don't be like this. I-I like you alot!" 

The girl reached for my arms again and I slapped her hands away. "So what? A lot of girls like me."

"Yes! I KNOW!" The girl screamed. "But you only liked Scarlet. Only had eyes for Scarlet... Erick-sama and Shin-kun too... But I only had eyes for you." 

She trembled forwards towards me, her hands wrapped around her shoulders, her eyes strangely dilitating. "N-now that Scarlet is gone... I can comfort you. Yes! I can have you to myself now..." She began panting, mouth curved into a lunatic smile. 

It was then that I noticed she had an umbrella in her hands. Not any umbrella. A sparkly pink one. 

She vomited, unprepared for the impact. My fist blurred as it bulldozed into her soft stomach and she flew onto the ground, spraying mud everywhere. 

"Kyah!!!~~" Her friends immiediately ran, abandoning her. What great friends. 

"I'll be taking this. It wasn't yours in the first place." I gently picked up the umbrella and carressed it's smooth surface. There was a piece of Scarlet in this, despite it being tainted. 

"Y-you'll regret this!" The girl spat out before standing upwards, bent over doubling in pain. She swayed her way out of the graveyard, sending one last venemous look at the tombstone. 

This sacred area was a mess... I bent over to pick up a lifeless boutique, but a chubby hand reached it first. I looked upwards. "Shibo-kun?!" 

The unhealthily large and pimply teenager simply nodded with a smile. "Natsume-san~ I think you need a hand." 

So the two of us worked on cleaning the grave, somehow restoring it to it's previous level of sanctity. There, Shibo-kun added his own boutique of flowers. The rain had stopped and the gray sky had warped into a bluish haze, golden sun giving life. 

A rainbow could be seen in the distance, bending reality in a spectrum of color. 

"Natsume-san, I know you rejected my confession, but I just want to be your friend." 

I smiled. Although Shibo-kun was gay, I didn't mind that. I was very open minded, and Shibo-kun seemed like a nice enough person. 

"I do need a friend. Especially now." 

Shibo-kun was giddy, clapping his hands. "Yes! We're now officially friends. Do you want to exchange numbers? Maybe go on date- I mean hang out?!" 

"No, I need some alone time..." I started heading home. Maybe I'll feel better with some sleep... 

"Wait! Natsume-san! Take this!" 

I was handed what looked like a game card. "Doki Doki Magical World Online? What is this?" 

"It is the access card for the newest and hottest VMMORPG. I'm giving this to you for free, since we are friends!" 

Mmm. I did have a VR headset, but I rarely used it. I preferred playing basketball or soccer in my free time. But I didn't feel like doing any physically-strenous activities for now. Maybe I'll give it a try... Maybe it'll take my mind off of things I'd rather not think about. 

"Thanks, uh, I'll give it a try someday." 

"It's best if you start today! The game officially launches in a few hours! You'll be behind the other players if you start later." 

"Mhm... Thanks Shibo-kun." I answered non-committedly. 

I waved my hands as I started on the way home. 

A lone fatty sat next to a tombstone. He wiped it with a towel appreciatively, but his mind wasn't on the girl who slept beneath it. 

"Kekeke... I can play and go on dates with Natsume-kun even when he's at home... So sugoi!~~~"