Buck began by introducing everyone. Curiously, Kitten was not mentioned in connection with Pigeon, suggesting that Buck either was unaware of her involvement, or keeping his cards closer to the chest than Will thought he’d be capable of.
The two men he didn’t know were Fun Gus and Little Fred, a pair of freed slaves who had stuck with Buck and become his lieutenants of sorts. No telling if they were trustworthy or not.
Buck introduced Will as his ‘arch nemesis’, and Bee as his ‘beloved pupil’. Based on the looks people gave him, they had no idea what that was supposed to mean. He did not elaborate.
Then he said: “Now! Enough foreplay, let’s get down to business. Some of you already know what I have in mind, but for those who don’t I’ll take it from the top.
“I’ve been messing with our good and gracious lord for some time now. It’s been fun, but I know I’ll never get to the man himself with the way I’m doing things now. Which is why I need help from all of you. Especially you, Cancer Man, my favorite enemy in the whole world.”
“Mind telling me what it is you need, exactly?” Will grumbled. “Just so I can be specific when I tell you to suck rocks.”
Buck grinned that excessively charming grin of his. “I’ve been hearing some rumors that Brimstone is going to be buying an elixir from you.”
“Mmhmm.”
“I want you to poison it.”
Will snorted out a laugh. “Of course you do. Better yet, why don’t I just walk into his longhouse and shoot him between the eyes? You’re a fucking joke.”
“It could work.”
“It wouldn’t work, and let me tell you why. One, if I poison his elixir, it’ll be detectable with Identify, and there’s no way he’s ingesting anything given to him by a stranger without identifying it first. Two, adding poison to an elixir would probably ruin the elixir itself by polluting it, eliminating the effect. Three, there’s no way in fuck you could get me to do it, so you’re out of luck there.”
Kitten held up his hand like a schoolboy waiting his turn to talk. “Then all you need to do is design a poison that can be added in such a small dose that it doesn’t trip Identify or dilute the elixir. Surely that would be possible for a man of your experience.”
Will thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. “Possible? Maybe. But I’ve got other things on my plate. If I don’t deliver Brimstone an elixir by the end of the month, he’s going to roast me on a spit. I don’t have time to go playing rebel.”
“It doesn’t need to be a killing poison,” Buck continued, speaking as though participation was already secured. “Actually, it’s better if it’s not. Something slow-acting, enough to weaken but not kill. That way, I can challenge him to a duel while he’s weak and knock him down. That way, there won’t be any questions about who the new boss is.”
Will shook his head. “You never stop dreaming, huh? Good for you. Way to hold onto that childhood spark. Now, returning to reality, I’m gonna have to decline.”
Again, Buck ignored him. “That’s part one. I’ll also be putting on a bit of a fireworks show in the city. Blowing up a few key bits of Brimstone’s infrastructure. Weaken his organization, get him desperate. Get him making mistakes—which is easy enough as it is. Will, old buddy, I’m gonna need you to make some explosives for me. It’s gotta be a lot, it’s gotta be flashy, and it’s gotta make a big boom. Putting on a show like that should let me put on a few levels, close the gap a bit between me and the old burn victim.”
Will could only laugh. He wasn’t sure how Buck had come up with this plan, but it clearly hadn’t gone past the first draft stage. “Nah, I think I’ve heard enough,” he said, chair scraping as he stood up from the table. “Best of luck to you all. I’ll say a prayer to you when I see your corpses mounted in front of the longhouse.”
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Bee followed him when he left, going outside into the cool dusk air.
“Even I have to admit that plan was a little half-baked,” Bee said. “You’re already running yourself ragged as it is. There’s no way you could take on the extra workload.”
Will nodded. “Not physically possible. Even if I did manage it, I’m not so sure the plan would work anyway.” He looked back when he heard the hinges on the front door squeal, a third person joining them outside. Kitten. “Suppose you’re here to bring me around to the idea?”
“Something like that,” Kitten admitted. “Pigeon would very much like for you to add your talents to this coup. She doesn’t have much faith that it will succeed with the way things are going currently.”
Will snorted. “Yeah, no shit. Look, I have nothing against Buck. I like the guy. Maybe he’d even make a decent lord. He definitely couldn’t be any worse than the other guy. But c’mon… you can’t seriously expect me to buy into this.”
“If you don’t think the plan will work, make it work.”
“That doesn’t sound like a friendly request.”
“Take it however you want.”
“If Pigeon wants to threaten me, she can come down here and do it herself. I’m not going to be bossed around by lackeys.”
Kitten looked at him blandly for a long time. “If you do this thing, she’s willing to offer some concessions.”
Will quirked an eyebrow. “Such as?”
“Such as getting to talk to her special friend. She said you’d know what that meant.”
“Hmm. That’s nice and all, but I still don’t see a practical way to pull this off.”
Kitten shrugged. “On your head be it.”
Will came very close to telling Kitten to go fuck himself and calling Pigeon’s bluff. But he stifled his venom behind a sigh. “Give me an hour to think out here. You go back down and scheme without me. Bee, you can go with him.”
Kitten nodded, smiling. “Very well.” He went inside.
Bee went after, but paused in the doorway. “You think there’s a way?” she asked.
Will rubbed at his nose. “Who knows? That’s what I need to figure out.”
Bee went inside, and he started walking the empty streets of Millstone, kicking a rock ahead of him. Can’t believe she’s forcing me into this. Stupid goddess-killing bitch.
Then again, Brimstone would need to die sooner or later. Stretched out long enough, a personal relationship with him could only end one way.
* * *
Will returned to the meeting room after a little under two hours, having worked up a sniffly nose from the chill of the onsetting night.
“All right,” he said when he sat down. “I think I’ve got a way to hold up my end.”
“Good,” Buck said, nodding. “I knew we’d get you on board.”
“For the explosives, I’m going to need a whole heap of parotid salivary glands from drakes. Again, can’t buy them in bulk from usual channels without arousing suspicion, even if I’d be able to track them down.”
“I will speak to my contact and ask her about leads for nearby drake nests,” Kitten offered.
“Good. I should have the components I need for the poison, but I’ll need an assistant to work the explosives while I take care of the rest. That way, I might be able to pull it off in time, just about. I have someone in mind, but I’ll need to make sure he’s trustworthy. If he is, I’ll bring him into this.”
No one offered any objections.
“If this ends up going to plan, I want 250 000 graces and an official position within the court of the good Lord Buck. Advisor or some such. I also want land rights in the greater Sheerhome area. I also want your word that you won’t turn around and kick me down a high cliff once this is over.”
Buck grinned. “You’ll have it, friend. If you do this thing for me, I’ll get on my knees and suck your dick my royal self.”
“Only if you want your face rearranged,” Bee muttered.
There were other details of a more technical nature that needed to be discussed. Worries that needed to be assuaged. Details of Buck’s plan that needed to be tweaked. At the end of the night, Will still had a bad feeling in his gut.
But he was on this train now, whether he liked it or not.
There was a lot of work that needed to be done. He felt tired just thinking about it.