“MADAM!”
…
“MADAM!”
…
“MADAM! ARE YOU OK!?”
…
“Oh shoot…” Faith awakens on her back, looking up at The Prince of JungleCLUBS. “Yes…” She looks at The Prince’s club, twitching with concern for her safety. “...sugah~❤️🔥” Faith slowly stands up and firmly grasps the club to balance herself. “Oops, my hand slipped~❤️🔥” She gives the club a couple of squeezes. “Oh My God~❤️🔥 Yeah, yeah~❤️🔥”
This doesn’t phase The Prince. “Poor thing, you must be lightheaded after all of that.” He puts a hand on Faith’s head. “WOW! You’re burning up! You’ll catch a fever!” He slings back his hand from the heat and shakes it like touching a hot stove.
“Yeah, I’m so lightheaded~❤️🔥” Faith squeezes The Prince’s club again. “And I have a fever~❤️🔥” She looks around, surprised that she’s still here. “Eh…wait…how long was I out for?” Faith doesn’t stop the squeezing. She just lightens up on it as she wonders aloud.
“About four minutes.” The Prince tells her.
“Then this isn’t a dream…I’m really a princess…” Faith is ready to cry but switches to an evil look when she peeks down. “...and this is real too…yeah, yeah~❤️🔥” Her nose bleeds, and she accidentally squeezes The Prince’s club with all her might.
The Prince recoils. “OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!”
“Sorry, sugah~❤️🔥” Faith looks around. “And is this place what I think it is?”
The Prince tends to his club. “You betcha! None other than the Jungle of CLUBS!”
Faith taps her lips. “In the world of Shufflearth?” She turns to you. “Sorry…that name is a work in progress, sugah.”
“Nowhere else! What other worlds could there ever be?” The Prince smiles. “...and madam…”
“Eh?”
“I still don’t know who you are.”
“Ah, ah. Of course, sugah. Where are my manners?” Faith lifts her dress to do a curtsey…
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…a country-girl style curtsey by lifting her dress high enough to show off the “good stuff.” She doesn’t even bow or bend her knees, but her nose bleeds though (obviously). “My name is Princess Faith Roos, from the Burning Lands of HEARTS (the proof is in her panties).”
“They must have their own special customs as well, fascinating…” The Prince swings his arm back and takes a bow. “And I’m Wi-”
“The Prince of JungleCLUBS! I already know, sugah~❤️🔥”
“...yes, but…” The Prince scratches his cheek. “...how did you know that?”
Caught, Faith starts flailing her hands. “Oh, um, that’s cuz we’re well versed in the surrounding kingdoms…” Faith wags her finger and peeks at The Prince’s club. “...very well versed~❤️🔥” Then she coughs and pouts. “Speaking of which, y’all ought to keep a tighter leash on those beasts! They could’ve eaten lil’ ol’ may!”
“Ha! With how you handled those bozos, I think there was no cause for alarm.” The Prince winks at Faith. “Those dinos were having a sip before they felt the burn and went on a rampage.”
Faith looks at her glowing, hot palms. “Oops…”
“I chased after them but couldn’t stop them in time. I was actually swimming downstream, working on my cardio, until the water boiled up in a flash!” The Prince laughs as more sweat drips from his body.
“I need to work on my cardio too~❤️🔥” *snort* *snort* Faith’s unsubtle club staring persists. “Sorry about the water, sugah. I’m sure it’s fine now. I was thinking about taking a dip if you wanna join may-” *oop* She trips over a rock!
“Madam!” The Prince grabs Faith’s hand and pulls her in. “Careful now. We got lots of those around here.”
Faith blushes because The Prince is holding her the way couples do. Couples, as in lovers. Lovers, as in a man and a woman that engage in lots of unruly, unhinged, and unprotected sex. Ooooooooooh, ooooooh, she’s NEVER had a boyfriend/side hoe (male) before, especially a boyfriend/side hoe (male) this well-endowed, yeah, yeah~❤️🔥 Her nose sprays out more blood.
Now that they’re this close, The Prince is totally smitten (by Faith’s expensive-looking ribbon in her hair). “Cha-ching…this bitch must be loaded…”
Faith is smitten, too (by The Prince’s impressive-looking club between his legs). “Cha-ching…this boy must be loaded~❤️🔥”
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Truly, these two were meant to be…
*KA-BOOM* An explosion of passion follows…
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…the explosion of passion being the heat generated downstairs by Faith that made her clothes blow up, off, and all over the place! She hasn’t even noticed yet…
But The Prince did. “Madam, your clothes!”
“Eh? EEHHHHHH!!!!” Faith covers herself. “Don’t look.” Then, she considers the atmosphere at the moment. “Oh~❤️🔥 Don’t look~❤️🔥” She shakes her booty. “I’m so embarrassed ~❤️🔥”
“Ah! Don’t be!” The Prince slaps Faith’s ass. “In my culture, we dress down to be free and one with nature.”
“Spank me harder, sugah~❤️🔥” Faith strokes The Prince’s club. “...yeah, free and one with nature~❤️🔥”
“Wow! You’re already catching on to our ancient ways so fast! To my tribe, touching each other’s genitalia is our way of greeting and wishing good health upon our neighbors.” The Prince’s club gets thicker and THICKER with each stroke.
“That’s cuz I’m a fast learner, sugah~❤️🔥 Faith tickles the tip of The Prince’s club, and it wags like an excited dog’s tail. “I hope yew have lots to teach may, monkey boy~❤️🔥”
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“Ah! Ah! I hope ‘yew’ have lots to teach ‘may’ too! Your accent and manner of speaking are ever so unique compared to the other princesses and queens around here! I have so much I wanna ask you! This is my first time meeting HEARTS royalty!” Then, a breeze swishes against The Prince’s back. “YOW! And perfect timing, let’s say you whip us up a hot tub?” He walks over to dip his toe in the ravine.
“I knew my accent was irresistable~❤️🔥” Faith clasps her hands together like a nefarious fiend. “And perfect timing, let’s say yew whip my face with a hot club, sugah~❤️🔥” She dips her toe in the ravine, too. Then Faith pauses and remembers someone. “...oh…wait...‘other princesses’…where’s your Princess?” She scans the area.
“HUUUUUUUHHHHHHH!?!?!?!?” The Prince is about to get waist-deep (and club-deep) in the water but is overcome with a sour mood. He gets out and goes over to sit on a boulder. “What do you mean by ‘your’ princess?” The Prince picks his nose.
“...The Princess of SaurDIAMONDS, sugah. Yer umm, fiance? Wife?”
“...how do you know about her? Well, it doesn’t matter anymore...she’s ancient history…” The Prince picks his nose deeper. “...this chick has pointy ears, too, so maybe they’re related? Hmm, no tail, though…”
Faith rests her arms on the boulder, confused.
“I’m afraid she wasn’t the match my heart was yearning for (or the match my wallet was yearning for to pay off those damn gambling debts *cough* *cough*)...” The Prince hangs his head down. “...I broke things off with her to give myself creative space…”
“Yew poor thang…” Faith rubs The Prince’s thigh. “Yew poor, poor thang~❤️🔥” She continues rubbing The Prince’s thigh methodically and mischievously. “I’ll give him lots and LOTS of country girl TLS (tender loving sugah) to fill the void in his heart~❤️🔥” Faith stops for a second. “Eh? Creative space?”
“Mhmmmmmmm!” The Prince puffs and shrugs. “She never respected my ambitions!” He hops down from the boulder. “You, see, well, this is a little embarrassing to say out loud, but I want to be a poet…NO…I AM a poet!” The Prince stands triumphant.
“Yeah, yeah, a poet…” Faith resumes staring at The Prince’s club, which is also standing triumphant. *snort* *snort* “Whatever you say, sugah…”
“And a poet with a big heart like mine has words buried inside it that my pen must set free!” The Prince clutches his fists. He holds them against his chest. “My people may be known for combat and mating, but I’m so much more than that!”
“Yes, yes, a poet with a big heart must have a really big pen~❤️🔥” *snort* *snort* “Known for mating? How terrible~❤️🔥”
“See! You understand me!”
“I do?” Faith snaps out of her staring and snorting. “Oh, um, yeah! Course I do!” She twiddles her fingers. “I’m an artist, so I know all about the NOT BEING APPRECIATED ENOUGH song and dance routine.” Faith pouts and whirls her hand around.
“An artist?” The Prince takes Faith’s hand. “Ah…that explains why I am so drawn to you…we were made for each other…”
“He’s definitely caught country-girl fever~❤️🔥” Faith turns away to allow her nose to bleed more. “I’m so drawn to you too~❤️🔥 (cuz I’m the one who drew ya, sugah~❤️🔥)” She makes damn sure to hold hands with The Prince. Her hands glow a soft pink.
“Ah…so warm. Just like with the river, you might set my very heart ablaze…” The Prince leans in. “...‘heart ablaze’...she’ll specifically love hearing that. I’m so clever!”
“That’s very poetic, sugah~❤️🔥” Faith leans in, too, getting on her toes and ready to smooch The Prince up. “...‘heart ablaze’...sheesh…I’ll pretend to specifically love hearing that. I’m so clever!”
“SEE! SEE!” The Prince suddenly breaks away from Faith before the smoochfest begins, and he poses dramatically. “You understand how witty, talented, and clever I am with wordplay.”
Faith falls over and crashes on the ground.
“This whole time, what I truly needed was a creative genius like myself!” The Prince cries profusely into his arm as his pen nods in agreement. “All those wasted years with thirsty women lusting after my body and not my poetry…”
“...whatever, sugah…” Faith pouts and is on her knees as she pats dust off her thighs, then she gazes upon the mighty pen less than an inch away from her face. “Ahhhhhhhhh~❤️🔥 A ‘creative genius’ like yourself needs a ‘healthy’ environment for lots of words…and lots of play~❤️🔥” *snort* *snort* “Let me show yeeeeeeeew the kind of play country girls like...four-play™~❤️🔥” Faith prepares to change her strategy from smooching to sucking The Prince’s-
*WOOSH* *BRRR* That frigid draft breezes by once more.
The Prince stops crying and suddenly turns away again and holds himself as he shivers. “I ought to find shelter soon before I get found…”
Faith topples over. She pouts and taps her finger on the ground. “...shelter?”
“...it’s…hard to explain…” The Prince sweats bullets.
Faith doesn’t get it, but it doesn’t matter because this gives her an idea, too. She is always the opportunist and ready to cook up a scheme. “Well, well, if it’s shelter that you’re looking for…then look no further…” Faith sits up. “This better work…third time’s the charm~❤️🔥” *em-hem* “As The Princess of BurningHEARTS, I would be honored to grant shelter to the freezing Prince~❤️🔥” Faith positions her hands to demonstrate and make it painfully and crystal clear where and what the shelter is.
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Faith continues on with her rousing and risque speech. “And in, and I do mean IN my shelter, I will bestow upon you the honor to write to your heart’s content~❤️🔥 Allow my precious princess puss-” She stops and looks directly at the author. “I am NOT finishing that sentence!” Faith pouts and then looks back at The Prince. “Anyway…allow my precious princess ‘panties’ to be your page, sugah~❤️🔥” Despite not liking being called a piggy, she is peak piggy princess right now.
In sync, The Prince’s pen wiggles, and Faith’s page twitches. How magical.
“OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!” The Prince’s pen whirls like a helicopter. “You have such a way with words, too!” Tears continue falling from his face. “...another poet in this weary world…” *BRR* He shivers again.
*snort* *snort* “Hurry~❤️🔥 Hurry~❤️🔥 Before yew freeze, put that pen to good use and write your first poem with may~❤️🔥” *snort* *snort* Faith’s page twitches with anticipation.
The Prince gets emotional, and his eyes sparkle. “I’m so happy. Ahhhhhh, I need a moment!” He skips and frolics. “I’ve never felt such joy!”
“...he sure loves TALKING more than writing…” An angry vein pops on Faith’s forehead. “Jeeeeeezzzzzuuuuusssss…I wish he would shut up already and start writing on may…” She slowly stands up, ready to give up on this cornball clown.
*oop* Suddenly and without warning, The Prince accidentally and conveniently trips over a rock toward Faith. “MADAM! WATCH OUT!”
But by the time Faith hears him shout, it’s already too late...and…
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…The Prince’s pen sloppily “wrote the first draft of a romantic story” on Faith’s page…
“...I’m so sorry…” The Prince bows and begs for four-giveness™. “As an emissary of the Jungle of CLUBS, I should know better and be more cautious of the rogue rocks that litter the place!”
“Ah~❤️🔥 It’s not your fault, sugah~❤️🔥” Faith’s eyes are spiraling out of control. She may not even be conscious. *snort* *snort* *snort* *snort* *snort* *snort* *snort* *snort* *snort* “Don’t be sorry, and don’t be cautious~❤️🔥 Yew just needed to write and get yer juices flowing…and mine too~❤️🔥”
“By God, you’re right!” The Prince’s pen then becomes the living definition of STIFF. “This is simply yet another form of writing, and my pen was moving so naturally and so instinctively when it happened, which is the epitome of raw creativity!” He shakes Faith like a madman. “Brilliant, brilliant, your genius is on a whole other level, Ms. Roos!” The Prince then gets down with Faith on the smooth grass. “And if I want to be a true creative, then I should follow my intuition and embrace any and all new ways of expression!”
“Hehehehe, jackpot, I totally snagged him, country girl style~❤️🔥 He’s allllll mine now~❤️🔥” Faith puts her arms around The Prince. “Yes, follow yer intuition and embrace any and all new ways of expression with no restraint and no interruption. Let me be yer guide~❤️🔥”
The pen and the page prepare to make second contact-
“MY PRIIIIIIINCE! MY PRIIIIIIIINCE!” A sweet voice beckons nearby. “Yoohoo! Where~are~you~?”
The Prince propels himself into the air, screams like a little girl in response to the sweet voice, and ducks into the bushes. The bushes quiver with him.
“EHHHHHHHHHHH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?” Faith rises, gritting and grinding her teeth as steam shoots out of her ears, then the ground beneath her feet melts into magma in the shape of a broken heart. “NOW WHAT!?!?!?”
“Come out~come out~wherever you are~!” The sweet (but obviously not as sweet as Faith’s) voice that ruined her moment to deal out country girl lovin’ is still in the vicinity.
Faith pouts, stomps, and scoots through the bushes to investigate…
…
“Oh…” Faith found the source.
…
-CHAPTER END-