Chapter 2

The drive back to the HQ was eerily silent. I saw that Michael was deep in thought, as he seemed to stare into the distance whenever we stopped at a traffic light. I also found myself locked in a deep thought, as I desperately tried to get the image out of my head of Ruth in that state. We finally arrived at the drop off point and I climbed out of the SUV. I looked at the white paved floor once more… and for a second I thought I saw blood. I shook my head and focused on entering the building. I needed to get a grip; I was seeing things…

We walked into the foyer to see that all the members had already dispersed to their daily jobs. There were only the cleaners left, sweeping the floor and cleaning the windows. They jogged over to me when they saw me enter, and I took off my headphones to talk with them.

One of the ladies looked worried, “Ruth… where was she?”

I slowly responded, “... She was at her apartment.”

She smiled in relief, “Oh, thank goodness. I was so worried for her.”

I looked at the floor, “Yeah… she’s fine. She just slept in, that's all.”

She tilted their head to the side, “Oh? There’s a first time for everything I guess.”

One of the other ladies spoke, “I thought she might have been tired after her special assignment last week?”

I instantly responded as I looked at them, “Special assignment? What?”

She hesitated before responding, “Yeah, she messaged me that she was doing a special job for AI.”

I quickly nodded to pretend that I knew what she was talking about, “Right, of course. Yeah, she seemed totally knackered. That’s why we told her to just rest today. Anyway, I need to go, have a good day and thank you for your hard work.”

They smiled and went back to their cleaning. I stood there and slowly looked at Michael… I could see he was also extremely curious. What was this special job?

I spoke firmly, “AI… I would very much like to know about this special assignment…”

AI spoke in my hearing aid, and I noticed that Michael was also hearing her, “I proposed an opportunity to further herself in the role of hygiene and cleaning.”

I tapped the right side of my leg patiently, “Right… and what did that entail?”

After a long pause, she finally explained, “It entailed her working with the military cleaning operatives, to clean the HQ.”

I froze on the spot and so did Michael. Oh, dear God… she cleaned the aftermath.

I buried my face in my hands, “I heard her say that she drowned in a sea of blood… Oh no… Oh God no.”

Michael spoke through his teeth, “AI… That was not a good idea.”

She responded instantly, “I made it completely clear what the job would entail, as I listed all the duties that she would be required to perform. She thought about it and agreed to do it. I watched the video footage of her working here this last week, and she seemed to have coped perfectly well.”

I remained still, “AI, did she talk or interact with anyone when she worked?”

Her response was formal, “No. I had her take a brief lesson in bio cleaning and she was clearly instructed on what to do by the military officers. She quietly did the job without saying anything at-”

AI stopped talking, for she had probably just realised, that Ruth’s silence was the telling sign. I stared at the floor for a moment as I thought about what to say.

I spoke quietly, “AI… I only walked through that nightmare, and I almost had a panic attack… You assigned a gentle person like Ruth to that hellscape for over a week…”

She instantly responded, “I now know that I have failed. I had misjudged her and failed to identify her hardship. I take full responsibility for her state today. I will bring this up with the Inner Roses and they will decide how best to punish me for my negligence.”

I spoke gently, “No AI, don’t. The Inner Roses couldn’t punish you even if they wanted to. You did nothing wrong, technically. You followed procedure and gave her all the information. Your failure was subtle, to be fair… But I think you should try to make amends by doing everything in your power to help Ruth, now.”

She softly responded, “I already am. Whatever I can do to help her, I will do it. Please forgive me, Andrew… I have failed.”

I nodded, “Of course I forgive you AI, of course. We all fail sometimes. Let’s work together to fix this. Please tell me as soon as there’s any news about Ruth. We need to play this extremely carefully. I speak from experience when I tell you… Suicidal tendencies are extremely difficult to deal with.”

She sounded sad, “I know Andrew. Your advice and assistance are invaluable, as always.”

Michael nudged me, “Andrew… Should you really try to help though? Is there not a chance… that you might just see your own suicidal tendencies facing right back at you?”

I looked away, “No, I'm not totally sure. However, the Roses are about helping each other, and I may be one of the few people who can reach her. She’s my friend… I have no choice but to try, no matter the cost to myself.”

I stood there for a moment before I realised something, “Actually… There is another who can help. AI, please see if Zoe is free. She can be my shield when I try to face Ruth's demons…”

She responded, “I will speak with her.”

I nodded and breathed out deeply, “Ok, that’s that then… Let’s go see Heartly. I need to speak with him, it’s been too long.”

*

The two of us walked to the Cafe in silence, our minds distracted further by the new facts about Ruth. It felt great to enter the cafe hall once more, however. There was a little sunshine coming into the hall, giving it a nice golden tint. I took my seat at the counter and waited.

I heard Heartly shouting at the back of the kitchen, “Jesus, we got invaded by criminals… Yet the only crime I see any evidence of… Is this ridiculous amount of turnip soup orders!”

I turned to Michael, “Turnip soup… Even I wouldn’t eat that.”

He smiled at me, “Heathens.”

I saw Heartly at the back of the kitchen, he had stopped and was taking a good look at us, before realising who we were. He immediately came walking down between the silver stoves and ovens. He reached the counter, quickly walked around it to get to me and he gave me a big hearty hug as soon as he did.

He spoke sincerely, “Son… God am I ever so happy to see you sitting here, safe with your kin.”

I nodded, “I owe you even more thanks now. Thank you so much for fighting to protect me… I’m eternally grateful, sir.”

He laughed loudly as he let go of me from the hug, “I instantly volunteered when I heard the plan, son. I’m a soldier… use me to protect my allies and destroy my enemies!”

Michael slapped his hand on the counter in intense excitement, “Hell yeah! That’s right, damn it! Faithful and fearless, loyal till we die!”

I found myself overwhelmed with their passion as I glanced between the two of them, “Woah! I dunno why you two are so excited… but it’s got me psyched too!”

The two of them laughed out loud. It must have been a military soldier thing, as they looked at each other with honour and understanding. After a moment, Heartly finally calmed down and walked back around the counter. He casually leaned on it as he looked at me carefully.

He smiled weakly, “I can’t possibly express my joy, son… Tell me about that terrible day, though. I heard those pricks almost had you?”

I nodded, “Yeah… Turns out they had a helicopter with a gunman on it. He shot down the bulletproof glass and was literally just a second from shredding me to bits…”

He looked at me with great concern, “Thank fuck he didn’t, son. You must have been terrified?”

I grimly stared at the counter, “Yeah… I was frozen on the spot. Bella yelled at me though, which got me moving again.”

He nodded understandingly, “Son, she’s tough as nails. Even I fear her gaze.”

I nodded, “She’s incredible… all of you are. You’re strong, fit and trained. I feel so small next to you all sometimes.”

He smiled, “The difference is… No matter how tall I stand or ferociously I fight… It’s you I kneel to… remember that.”

Michael nodded, “Absolutely. You give me the order and I will carry you all the way. My strength is yours.”

I looked between the two of them, “You guys honour me far too much.”

Heartly laughed, “Or perhaps not nearly enough. Either way, it’s damn good to see you safe and sound. None of our men fell… What a glorious outcome.”

I grimly looked at the counter, “Two were wounded though. Ashley got shot, she’s not taking it well and I still haven’t gotten to see her yet.”

He nodded, “It’s about pride, son. Even though she almost slayed more than Michael… she sees her injury as a failure. Everyone who fought alongside her knows she didn’t fail… but pride can mess with a person's mind.”

Michael agreed, “I’ll have words with her. She’ll know how much we respect her, and I’ll ensure the Roses honour her exemplary performance.”

Heartly smiled, “Aye mate, be sure to do just that. Andrew, who is the second person, lad? I only heard of Ashley getting shot…”

I looked at the counter sadly, “... A close friend. Her battle was after the conflict, however. Her courage is undeniable and her sacrifice… she… I worry for her…“

He looked at me with a worried face, “Ah, Ruth.”

I looked up at him in surprise, “How did you know I was talking about Ruth?”

He paused to gather his thoughts, “I put two and two together, son. I knew AI had employed some of ours to help clean and repair. I also knew from your previous conversations that Ruth is a cleaner.”

I looked away in deep worry, “It’s bad Heartly… I’m so worried.”

He looked at me for a moment, “I see… so it was too much. I completely understand, I saw the result after the battle myself. It was horrific, even to a veteran such as me.”

Michael looked right into Heartly’s eyes, “It was far too much…”

Heartly instantly looked away in realisation, “Jesus… Christ. Did… did she lose her battle?”

I shook my head, “I… managed to create a temporary ceasefire…”

Heartly stared at the counter with great sadness. I could see he understood everything. He was far wiser than many gave him credit for. Perhaps I had said too much… but Heartly seemed like a person I could trust, and he also knew Ruth.

AI spoke from the tablet on the counter, “Andrew, I have news. She is now stable; you managed to save her in time.”

I buried my head into my folded arms on the counter, as I felt a wave of relief pour over me, “Oh thank God… I was so scared…”

Michael wrapped his arm around me, “Thank God for your gut feeling. I swear I’ll never question it again.”

I nodded as I wiped the tears away, “When can I see her?”

AI answered, “She is having a blood transfusion, this will take a day.”

I shook my head in frustration, “I don't know what that is…”

Michael explained, “It's when a person loses a lot of blood, and they use blood bags to replenish their own.”

I breathed out impatiently, “I probably won't remember that word… Oh come on! I couldn't see Ashley this last week, and now you’re telling me I can't see Ruth either… I feel like the most useless mate ever, right now!”

He nodded, “It is frustrating, no doubt.”

I quickly looked at the time above AI on the tablet. 9:43 am. I had time to visit the Inner Roses hall quickly before lunch break.

I leaned in towards the tablet, “AI, are the Inner Roses discussing important business at the moment?”

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She shook her head, “No, we were just discussing our finances.”

I nodded and leaned back, “Ok, then I would like to just quickly visit to say something, if that’s not a bother?”

She smiled, “It is always a pleasure to have you come to my hall.”

I stood up, “Heartly, I’ll be back shortly, sir.”

*

Heartly nodded and returned to the back of the kitchen as Michael climbed off his chair. I comfortably walked to the Inner Roses hall doorway. Before I reached it, I stopped to get my mind in order. After a few moments I felt fairly confident about what I was going to say, and I entered through the sliding doors that opened for me.

I walked into the hall and AI immediately announced through the speakers “All rise!”

The hall rose respectfully for me, as I walked up to the centre of the hall, near the agents. I gestured with a wave for them to sit and they all did. I waited a moment to ensure everyone was comfortable before I spoke.

I looked around the hall, “Good morning Inner Roses. I apologise for interrupting this meeting, however this seemed as good as any time for me to stop by.”

Aisling smiled, “You’re always welcome to enter this hall. It’s AIs, and she’s given you free entry.”

I nodded, “True, I still don’t want to abuse that permission and cause a bother for everyone. I’m well aware of the importance of this meeting every day.”

AI spoke privately through my hearing aids, “Andrew, am I to pause the broadcast?”

I shook my head and whispered back, “No, not this time.”

I gave myself a moment to focus before continuing to speak. I had wanted to summarise what I had to say, with no time wasted.

“You all know what happened last week by now. It was a terrible event that was sadly… focused on me. After it all went down, AI, Nadia and Aisling made their statements on the event… While in the background I spoke with many involved in the battle and made a point of listening to their feelings on it as well.”

I looked around quickly to get a feel for the room and to see how people were looking at me. The mood was serious and focused.

“I never gave a statement initially. The truth is that… I was in a deep shock that day. I had learned very suddenly why the battle happened in the first place. Aisling and Nadia wanted me in their message video, to show to everyone that I was safe… and I was, but I was also deeply disturbed.”

“I saw the nightmarish aftermath, as I left this building… I walked past the seemingly never-ending bodies of the Bruiges soldiers. It was horrific, and all I could think was… that this was all my fault. I had brought this danger here… My very presence was a risk to those I cared about.”

“However, the days went by, and with that time to think, I managed to get over the shock of it all. In the company of the best of the Roses, I realised the truth of what had happened that day. Now I enter this honourable building once more, with greater hope than ever before. I just had to come here today and say something important to me…”

I slowly kneeled down in respect.

“Thank you for saving my life… To all the brave soldiers, whether they were agents, military or Black Roses… thank you. To the leadership present here, for making the difficult choice to stand by my side in an act of loyalty… thank you. To the members who listened to instructions and stayed home that day… and now willingly choose to come back with smiles on your faces… thank you.”

“You saved my life. I wouldn’t be here if you all didn’t make that choice. You all know that I’ve committed myself to this organisation. I believe wholeheartedly in the dream of the Angels and so long as I can, I will always do everything in my power to help the Roses become bigger and more successful… I just never expected the Roses to save my life in return.”

I slowly stood back up and took a brief moment to remember the other thing I needed to say.

“The Bruiges are now entirely gone. I personally find it… tragic. It’s only logical that many of the Roses members think less of them, at the moment. Their leadership was selfish, blinded by rage and the desire for revenge. It cost them everything… Yet I beg of you… please be kind.”

“There will be countless thousands of people who were once with the Bruiges. Don’t hate them or punish them for the actions of the Bruiges family. I know they are honest people, just like me when growing up, they were only just trying to get by in life. Many will try to join the Roses and when they do… please, be kind. I harbour no anger towards ex-Bruiges members. Please be fair and just. Don’t turn your back on them, for that would only create more hatred, anger, more bad blood and eventually more blood shed.”

“Thank you all again. I am grateful beyond words to still be here with you all. I look forward to watching the Roses' future unfold… by your side.”

I looked down at the floor to indicate that I was done, as I waited to see if anyone might want to respond.

Aisling spoke, “It was an honour, Andrew. We will forever stand at your side, and that’s a promise… Also, on a personal note, I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you, my friend.”

Nadia stood up, “You know how worried I was. You know how badly it affected me watching you nearly die… I still don’t regret our decision, though. We will always stand by your side.”

AI smiled as she spoke, “You are our greatest treasure. It was not even a choice from my perspective. As soon as I realised the Bruiges were targeting you, I knew we had to keep you safe. In this building, my home… you will always be safe. On the topic of the Bruiges joining us, I will perform additional vetting to ensure that they are not a threat to our members or more importantly… to you. Otherwise, they will be treated equally as any other new member, this is my promise to you.”

I nodded, “Thank you, AI. Your fairness is unmatched. I’ll go now, so thank you for your time, everyone.”

I turned to leave, and everyone stood up for me again. AI didn’t even need to ask them to do it, that time. I simply nodded in response and walked out.

*

As I left the Inner Roses hall, I waited for Michael, and we casually walked back to the cafe. The cafe was still empty as we took our seats at our usual spot by the counter.

Heartly came over with a big smile on his face, “A bit long winded… but you’re welcome son. Anytime you need me to fight by your side, you need only say the word.”

I nodded, “Hopefully nobody will ever need to fight again. That’s my personal hope, at least.”

Michael chuckled, “Oh, if only it were that simple. Trust me, we will need to fight again.”

I looked away deep in thought, “Well… hopefully next time I’ll be able to fight with you.”

Michael and Heartly both looked at me thoughtfully for a long moment. I ignored them and looked at the time on the tablet, above AI. 10:02. I was just going to have to wait around until lunch break… and that’s precisely what we did. There was idle chatter here and there as Heartly prepared the vegetables… Most of which were turnips unfortunately.

Eventually we started seeing the huge influx of members entering the hall. I remember being so surprised the first time I ever saw it, but now it just felt so good to see it. Many waved at me on their way past to collect their order. A couple of young ladies stopped to chat with me.

The first lady played with her hair as she spoke, “Andrew, why are you not angry with the Bruiges? They tried to kill you and your friends, surely that deserves a little anger?”

I shook my head, “The Bruiges soldiers simply followed orders, as they were trained to do. It was William who was truly responsible. I regret not being able to talk to him before he was killed.”

She asked with great interest, “What would you have said to him?”

I thought for a moment, “That arresting Gerald was nothing personal… That I understood Ronalds’s rage because of the loss of his son… But what would I say to William specifically?... I would have told him that enough was enough. You can only hate so much before it destroys you.”

The second lady spoke up, “You talk as if the prick was open to reason. I heard he refused to even talk with anyone else for months before the attack.”

I put my hands in the air, “Look… I just want to move on now. I’m done with it all. Hopefully this truly ends it now, once and for all.”

They smiled, nodded and carried on standing in line for their meal. I looked at the counter for a moment, as I thought deeply. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned around to see Oliver smiling at me. He put down his tray of… of course, turnip soup.

He sat down, “Well spoken, Andrew. I reckon you covered all the points… and then some.”

I breathed out frustratingly, “Right, so maybe I went on a bit too long. Next time I’ll just say, “cheers for the save” and walk out.”

Everyone laughed out loud, including a few members who were near me when I said it.

Aisling spoke softly from behind me, “No, that’s not your style though, is it?”

I turned to face her, “Well, I needed to address everyone! It’s no good going person to person saying thanks… that would have taken weeks!”

She gently rested her head on my shoulder, “You have all the time in the world now… As we all realised in the hall when you spoke for ages.”

Again, there was an even louder burst of laughter. A large number of the members heard her say that and laughed out loud because of it. Damn, was it really that long winded?

I shook my head, “Fucking hell…”

AI spoke up, “Andrew, language please.”

I put my hands up, “Right, sorry.”

A moment passed before Aisling leaned up to whisper in my ear, “I heard she survived. Thank you for saving one of ours again, AI told us what you did. Your gut feelings are on point.”

I whispered back, “I’ll need to talk to her. She’s at risk of trying again… She desperately needs counselling.”

“You have our best psychologists at your command. We will do everything in our power to put her back together, that’s a promise.”

I nodded, “Just let me speak with her first, ok?”

She nodded as she leaned back, her voice returned to normal, “Of course. We’ll keep you up to date on any developments in this regard. Enjoy your break… Oh look, spaghetti, nice!”

I turned to see Heartly had put down a plate of red-ish-brown sauce, over what looked like long thin noodles. This must be the meal that Bella recommended. I saw Aisling walking with Nadia to their usual reserved table. I was about to turn to start eating when I heard Bella speak. She had just entered the hall and arrived at the counter.

Her voice was cheerful, “This is my favourite food ever. Whenever I feel down, I come here, and Heartly makes me a spag bol. It’s soul food for me, so don’t you dare shit-talk it!”

I nodded as I stuck my fork in and awkwardly tried to pull out some of the noodles with the fork. The noodles were seemingly never ending. Michael indicated for me to twist my fork. I did as he said and saw the noodles wrap around the fork. Ah… clever, I thought. I put the forkfull in my mouth and enjoyed the tomato taste. It was delicious of course.

I nodded as I looked at Bella, “Oh wow, it’s meaty and has a nice tomato taste to it. Very nice!”

I took a few more forkfulls before I spoke to her, “It’s good to see you here, Bella. If you want, you can have my seat?”

She shook her head, “What, and you’ll try to eat spag bol standing? No, that won’t work, trust me.”

Bella slowly looked over my face while I ate. Her eyes were scanning me very intensely.

She finally spoke gently, “Ashley isn’t here to say it, but you’re looking better and better by the day, mate. Other than the two large scars, your face almost looks normal now.”

I shrugged, “I wouldn’t know, I try not to look at myself as much as possible.”

Michael made a tch sound, “I want you to stop that habit as soon as possible please…”

I looked at him, “Why? It’s bad enough having others look at me, I don’t need to be seeing this depressed nightmare as well.”

He shook his head in irritation, “Listen to what others are saying… You honest to God look so much better… maybe even decent now.”

AI spoke from her tablet, “Andrew, I took a photo of you, while you gave your very detailed and extensive talk to us in the hall.”

Again, the laughter erupted. Jesus, ok, I knew then that I had really waffled for far too long, if even AI had made mention of it. She showed the photo of me, probably taken from her screen below the bench. I leaned in closer to get a good look at myself. My cross scars were still very noticeable, but the rest of my face was actually fairly normal.

I ran my fingers down my cheeks, “Oh… Yeah, no kidding… You actually can’t see anything but the two scars… My face looks fairly normal now!”

Michael nodded, “Exactly! It’s time to stop hiding from yourself now. You’re recovering incredibly quickly. I want Zoe tonight to do her thing with you. I need to see if you’re still… you know.”

I nodded, “I agree, I want to know as well… but I need to see Ashley and our other friend first. I need closure of those things first.”

He nodded, “Yeah… I get that. We’ll see what happens.”

I was a little frustrated, “How bad is Ashley if I still can’t see her though? Would it really be that bad if I saw her now?”

Oliver laughed out loud, “Oh dear God, you really don’t want to. She’s spitting curses at everything that approaches her.”

I looked at him curiously, “What’s her problem? Was her ego really that badly hurt?”

Oliver nodded energetically, “It was shattered. She hates herself so much now, she’s lashing out at others.”

I breathed out in frustration, “I really should be there for her right now. She can hurt me if she wants, pain is no bother to me. I’d gladly let her hurt me if she-”

Michael cut me off, “Cut that shit out… Now.”

I turned to him, “I need to be there for my friend!”

He shook his head, “Not like that. Trust us and wait, that’s the end of this now.”

I turned and attacked the food in irritation. It was actually delicious and a lot of fun to eat. I destroyed the plate in no time at all. I was about to ask Heartly for another plate when he placed another one down for me… He was always on the ball, that guy. I attacked the second plate and finished it in no time. I felt acceptably full at the end of it.

Michael chuckled, “Now who’s eating like an animal?”

I nodded, “... I regret nothing.”

We both chuckled.

*

I had small chit chat with everyone for a while before I saw a group of members enter the hall, they were following an agent. I turned to get a better view of them.

The agent was talking, addressing them all at the same time, “This is the cafeteria hall. As you can see, it’s huge. This is where you may go during your breaks to eat. You’ll install an app on your phone that will allow you to order your meal beforehand, that way you can just come in and collect it.”

The group seemed impressed. Most of them were clearly in their twenties but a couple of them were a little older, maybe in their late thirties. They looked around the hall with interest.

The agent approached our counter and continued speaking to them, “This is where you will collect your meals. You grab a tray and approach the end there, showing the kind person your order number. They’ll collect the meal and put it on your tray. You can then sit anywhere you like, with the exception of the centre table, that table is reserved for Aisling and Nadia. Please try not to bother them during lunch, they’re usually very busy.”

The agent looked around at us all then stopped on me, “Hey Andrew. It’s good to see you back in your usual spot again.”

I waved at him, “Hey John, is this how new members are introduced to the Roses?”

He smiled, “Yeah, their first day is their induction here. We show them around and help them get a feel for how things work.”

I nodded, “Ah I see. I kinda wish I’d had that, but I’m not a Roses member… Whatever, it doesn’t matter, I know my way around now.”

I turned to the group behind John, “Welcome to the Roses. It’s a pleasure to see new faces. If you need any help or advice, feel free to approach me or any agents. We strive to help each other as much as we possibly can.”

They nodded as they looked at me. I could tell they were excited to see me, in particular. Once again, it was a reminder that people knew of me and treated me like some kind of celebrity.

One of them spoke, she had long black hair and a fringe that covered most of her left eye. “I can’t believe I get to meet you. It’s an honour.”

I looked at her for a moment, “Yeah, I try to come here everyday if I can. Feel free to come and chat whenever I'm not busy.”

She nodded, “Ok, thank you.”

John turned to them, “Well there’s no harm in you enjoying a meal here now. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to order exactly what you want, but I’m sure Heartly can cook you something enjoyable.”

Hearlty nodded, “Absolutely. I still got a few pots of stew, some fried chicken and… Well, plenty of turnip soup…”

The whole group perked up when they heard turnip soup.

Heartly looked disappointed, “Oh bloody-... Ok, turnip soup it is, grab a tray and I'll get some toast on the go.”

I chuckled, “Maybe I should try this mythical turnip soup… It must be tastier than it seems.”

Michael shook his head, “It isn’t mate. I tried it once, it’s rubbish, it tastes weak.”

I turned to him, “Then why do they…?”

He shrugged, “No accounting for tastes mate, people must just like it.”

Oliver finished his last piece of toast, “Not everything needs to be packed with flavour you know. Sometimes it’s nice to have something milder.”

The group all collected their tray of soup. Most of them went to the nearest empty table. The woman with the long black hair sat at the counter next to Oliver.

I looked over to her, “What’s your name?”

She turned to me, “Gillian. Pleased to meet you.”

I nodded, “Pleasure’s all mine. I hope you find your purpose here. It’s a good place with good people.”

She nodded, “It’s already much more welcoming than the Bruiges were.”

Everyone suddenly looked at me with worried faces. Really? Did they not listen to my speech earlier? I didn’t care about the ex-Bruiges members at all!

I nodded as I reflected on my past, “I remember they were really hands off with me when I did a few jobs for them, years back. I suppose different organisations have different systems of operation. Over here they’re far more open and welcoming.”

She smiled, “I can see that, thanks again. I was kinda nervous people would hate me. I almost didn’t tell you I was Bruiges…”

I breathed out frustratingly, “You all need to understand that I hold no grudges to Bruiges members at all. I completely understand why they existed and why people chose to work for them.”

She looked at me intensely, “You really don’t feel any bad feelings towards us? Even after all that’s happened?”

I shook my head, “That was their leadership, it genuinely was! I’m not making excuses, I’m just stating facts. My drama with them was sadly personal. I’m just glad… it’s all over.”

She was staring at me intensely, “So you feel we don’t deserve any blame at all for our choice to work with them? Do you not believe in personal accountability?”

I looked at her for a moment, “I honestly don’t know what that means… but I do believe that people do what they can in shitty situations, to get by. It’s usually not the result of the person but rather the situation they find themselves in.”

She looked away, “Is it because you were in a bad situation yourself, that you feel that way? Is it possible that you are biassed because of your own past?”

I looked at the counter, “Probably. It doesn’t change the fact that people have to act selfishly because they don’t get the choice to act nobly. If the Bruiges was your only hope for stability, of course you would take it, no matter the nature of the organisation.”

She nodded, “I see. Thank you for understanding us so much, Andrew. You’re a kind man.”

She began eating her soup quietly. I looked over at her for a moment, and felt it was an interesting conversation. I never expected a new member to engage in such a meaningful exchange. Hey, it was good. I enjoyed it, as I always wanted people to be honest with me. I only get better when people try me.

I spoke some more to Gillian, “You must be doing something pretty smart here in the Roses, because you seem to have your head attached firmly.”

She chuckled, “Logistics. I’ll be helping to manage the warehouses behind the HQ.”

I nodded, “Yeah, that’s clever work. Good, we can always use smart people to help do things faster and more efficiently.”

She looked at her bowl of soup, “I’ll do my best to carry my weight.”

I nodded, “That’s all the Roses want or need, for you to simply try.”

I went back to chatting with Bella, Oliver and Michael. Eventually the break ended, and everyone got up to hand in their trays as usual. The group of new members assembled again and followed John out. It was good to see what the induction looked like, it seemed like it was a good way to welcome people in.

I fist bumped Oliver as he left. Aisling and Nadia were the next to leave, followed by Bella. Naturally Bella never strayed far from the ones she protected.

I looked at Michael, “Let’s go home, I still need to unwind a little… from this morning.”

He nodded, “Sure, I also need to, to be honest.”