Chapter 1
The rest of the week went by in a flash. Zoe visited every day to give therapy, alongside Oliver. For two more days unfortunately, Nadia awoke panicked that I would die. I was there every time to calm her, as best I could. On the third day she finally slept well, which was a great relief to Oliver and me.
Every two days I did some training with Michael. He had me do half push-ups on the sofa, an easy upper body strength exercise. I managed to do five on the first set, then three and finally one before my arms eventually gave in. In the time between the exercise days, I finished reading the highway code book with AI and Michael. AI said that she would arrange for me to do the theory test as soon as a slot was available.
On the fourth day, Michael drove me to the beach. We spoke for hours as we slowly walked along the coast. A few people followed us and asked me for autographs or a photograph, but most people left us alone, thankfully. Michael shared a little of his time as a soldier and I told him a little of my time on the streets growing up. It was difficult for both of us to talk of our past, but we both definitely felt closer to each other knowing more about each other's past.
I was told that Ashley was apparently in a foul mood. Oliver and AI mentioned to me how she kept throwing her toys out the pram… She wasn't ready to see me, not yet at least.
AI kept us all up to date on the progress of the HQ repairs throughout the week, and on the fifth day, AI proudly announced that it was ready for members to come back. I woke up that morning, eager to see Heartly and Ruth again. They were the only two people I hadn’t seen since the attack.
I entered the living room to see Michael chilling with Bellatrix on the sofa. The two no longer had any problems with each other, which I was very pleased to see. They stopped talking when they saw me enter the room.
Michael stood up from the sofa, “There he is! Ready to go back to your second home?”
I nodded excitedly, “Yes, please. Maybe you can surprise me with a new meal I've not eaten before, again?”
Bella chuckled, “I wonder if you’ve ever had spaghetti before?... I’ll have words with Heartly.”
I turned and shouted out the door, “Come on ladies, it’s time to go!”
I heard the two shout back, “Coming!”
They both came at nearly the exact same time. Both of them were putting on their earrings. I gave them a moment to finish, before I opened the front door and stepped back, letting them out first.
*
I climbed into the front seat of our large SUV, and Michael took a moment to show me the controls for the vehicle. It was all so surprisingly… easy. Automatic gear stick, nobs for lights and indicators… It only took him ten seconds to show me everything.
As we drove through the HQ’s security gate, I looked around with deep excitement. There were Rose members walking on the pavement again… a sight I was all too happy to see. We arrived at the drop off and I got out of the car as quickly as I could without causing myself any pain.
Some members waved at me with massive smiles on their faces when they saw me, and I waved back sincerely. They couldn’t talk to me, because my headphones were on, naturally. I froze as I looked down at the floor with hesitation… The white paved floor was indeed white and not bloody red. I crouched down slowly and looked very carefully, but I couldn’t see a single stain of blood anywhere.
Michael tapped me on my shoulder, and I quickly looked up at him. He shook his head slightly and spoke quietly, his voice was relayed through my hearing aids.
“Don’t do this... The members are looking at you and wondering why you’re staring at the floor. Let them be ignorant and please try not to make a scene, ok?”
I stood up and nodded to show my understanding. We carried on walking through the sliding door entrance and into the foyer. The foyer looked and felt exactly like it did before the attack. For a moment, however, the image of a sea of corpses flashed in my mind as my muscles tightened in stress. I closed my eyes and tried to eject the thoughts out of my head.
I opened my eyes slowly, to see a group of Roses members standing around me. I took off my headphones then, since I didn’t need them anymore and the chance of me hearing a car horn was very small.
One of them spoke excitedly to me, “Andrew! Welcome back mate! I can’t believe what happened, that must have been so terrifying!... It must be hard to be here after what happened, right?”
I shook my head, “It was hard not to be here, after what happened.”
They nodded as another person spoke, “What was it like living with the Angels? Are they a nightmare to live with?”
I briefly stared at the floor, “No… if anything, it’s me who’s a nightmare to live with, trust me. I was honoured to have them under my roof for a week.”
They smiled and a third person asked, “So what will you be doing today? Gym?”
I looked at them as I thought about it for a moment, “I want to see a close friend first… then visit Heartly and if there’s time, maybe then go to the gym.”
We had a little more chit chat before they went back to their tables. I noticed that Nadia and Aisling had already entered the Inner Roses hall. Michael was standing in front of me, waiting.
*
I slightly shuffled to the side to look past him, at the table where Ruth normally sat. I couldn’t see her initially, so I walked around Michael to get a better view of the table. No… she wasn’t there. I stood still for a moment as I looked around the other tables for her. She wasn’t anywhere...
I slowly walked up to her usual table, “Hi there… Where’s Ruth?”
The nearest sitting member looked up at me before he responded, “Do you mean the shy girl?”
I nodded, “Yeah, she normally sits here, doesn’t she?”
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He nodded, “Yeah… I don’t know. I was wondering about that myself actually…”
I suddenly had a nasty, horrible feeling smash into me… It was a gut feeling of worry.
I asked, “Is she usually absent?”
He shook his head, “Nope… for all the months she’s been a member, she always shows up. Even when she’s sick, she still sits there.”
I started breathing faster as I looked around the foyer in a mild panic, feeling even more worried then. Everyone at the table stopped talking as they looked at me with concern.
Michael nudged me, “What’s wrong?”
I didn’t respond to him as I looked at the tablet at the centre of their table, “AI, how often is Ruth late or absent?”
AI appeared on the screen with a slightly concerned look, “Never, Andrew.”
I shook my head, “Right… ok… where is she then, AI?”
A moment passed before she responded, “I assume she is most likely at her apartment.”
No, this was bad, very bad… I had an overwhelming feeling of panic coursing through me then. I was aware that I barely knew her, but even then… something was not adding up. I needed to find her, immediately!
I turned to Michael quickly, “Michael, it’s time for me to bark orders, so please forgive me.”
He nodded, “Bark.”
I glanced at the entrance to the Inner Roses hall, “Please go get Oliver and take him to the car, you have to drive us to Ruth's apartment, NOW!”
He instantly broke out into a sprint, heading towards the Inner Roses hall. I quickly turned around, put on my headphones and walked out of the foyer. I just couldn’t get the horrible feeling of worry out of my head.
By the time I had reached the drop off point, an agent had already brought around our large SUV. I turned back to see Oliver quickly walking over in his smart black uniform. Michael ran past him and jumped into the driver's seat without any hesitation. I climbed in the front and Oliver jumped in the seat behind me.
I looked at the screen on the centre dashboard and spoke quickly, “AI, navigate us to Ruth's apartment, please.”
AI responded in my hearing aids, “That is private information, Andrew.”
I instantly felt a wave of frustration as I shouted, “THEN PUNISH ME LATER! I NEED TO GET TO HER APARTMENT NOW!”
“... Very well, however, this is a breach of Rose's privacy. You will be reprimanded for this.”
I felt Oliver put his hand on my shoulder and I turned to see he was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear him though, because of the headphones...
I quickly glanced at the screen on the dash again, “AI, please put the car's microphone through my hearing aid, if you can.”
She instantly responded, “Done.”
I heard Oliver's deeply concerned voice, “What’s going on, why are you shouting?”
I turned to him, “Ruth… I’m really worried, Oliver. I have this horribly nasty feeling… If I’m wrong, so be it, I’ll take full responsibility… but we need to find Ruth, now!”
He stared at me for a short moment, “Ok… Why me though?”
I looked away for a moment, “I feel like… I just feel like I might need your specific skills, ok?”
He nodded and leaned back against his seat, putting on his seatbelt, “Ok, then drive quickly but safely, Michael.”
I felt the car instantly accelerate and I heard the siren turn on, “AI, stop sending the sound now. If a car horn blows, I’ll probably hear it.”
AI instantly responded again, “Done.”
*
It was a silent drive for me, as we zoomed down the road, taking sharp turns and driving straight through every traffic light along the way. The cars quickly moved aside for us, allowing us to get to the apartment block surprisingly quickly.
I got out and followed Michael, who led the way through the flat's entrance. We quickly entered the elevator, and he instantly hit the third-floor button. The door quickly closed as I took off my headphones.
I stared at the silver doors in front of me, “I know this is sudden guys, but I have such a strong feeling about this. Maybe it’s a fake feeling… but maybe it’s not though!”
Nobody responded to what I said as the elevator doors opened. Michael quickly walked out, turning sharply down the right passageway. His head shot left and right as he quickly looked at apartment numbers. He stopped as he saw the correct number and turned right.
He tapped the number next to the door and spoke quickly, “Room twenty-seven, this is her place.”
I approached the door and knocked as loudly as I could. A moment passed and we heard nothing… I knocked loudly, twice more… nothing.
I shook my head, “No… this isn’t right at all! Michael, I need that door open, right now!”
He moved me out of the way as he took a step back. As soon as I realised what he was going to do, I saw his huge leg smash into the door… the door never stood a hope in hell. It swung open with a loud bang sound. I stepped into the apartment behind Michael.
I listened for any noise… A shower, I heard a shower! I walked to the bathroom, loudly knocked on the door and slowly opened it.
I peeped my head through the door, “Ruth, are you- OH GOD, GUYS COME HERE NOW!”
*
Michael quickly came in and looked… Ruth was sitting naked in the shower with blood pouring out her wrist and pooling around her legs. She was soaked, as the shower poured steaming hot water all over her.
Michael reached over and turned off the shower, as he instantly checked her eyes and felt her pulse.
He turned to Oliver, “She’s alive, but her heart rate is dangerously low, we need to stop the bleeding!”
Oliver grabbed a towel and quickly dried her wrist; the blood was still pouring out as he grabbed a nearby face cloth and tightly wrapped it around her wrist.
Oliver quickly turned to Michael, “We need an ambulance, now!”
He instantly responded loudly, “They’re already here, in the elevator! I’ll go get them!”
Michael quickly disappeared as I heard his heavy footsteps fade into the distance. I looked at Ruth… She was turning her head from side to side, as she mumbled things under her breath. I moved closer, desperately trying to hear what she was saying.
“I drowned… in a sea of blood… I’m so cold… the hot water won’t warm me… So cold…”
I was about to talk to her when I heard heavy footsteps approaching again.
I heard Michael quickly speak in the passageway, “Here, she’s here! We need to secure her and cover her body, she’s naked and her body temperature is freezing!”
I turned to see two paramedics in their high vis gear, holding a stretcher in the passageway. I shuffled to move myself out of the way, as I would only get in the way of them doing their job. Oliver was quickly rattling information to the paramedics as they reached in and pulled her limp body out of the bathtub.
They lay her on the stretcher in the passageway as Michael wrapped a towel around her and Oliver quickly came over with a blanket that he took from her room. He wrapped the blanket around her as the paramedics quickly lifted her and carried her out as fast as they could.
Oliver turned to me, urgency filled his voice, “Stay here, you can’t help anymore! You were right and we’ll talk about that later, but I need to go with them right now!”
I nodded quickly, “Go, don’t let her die!”
*
He quickly jogged through the passageway and out the front door. I stood there, breathing heavily from shock as I looked around, trying to process everything that had just happened. I saw Michael looking at the bathtub, as the blood was still pooled up… He reached over and turned on the shower to wash away the blood, as I watched him silently. When it was all cleared up, he turned off the shower again.
He sat on the corner edge of the bathtub in silence, staring at the floor with intense concern, as I leaned forward against the passageway wall. I couldn’t believe it… she tried to kill herself… but why? I wondered what had happened to cause such horrific self-harm…
I quietly spoke, “AI… How could Ruth do this?... What did we not see?”
AI responded in my hearing aids, “I think perhaps I may have made a grave mistake, my friend.”
I raised my voice, “What the hell do you mean, what are you talking about?!”
Her voice softly responded, “I seem to have misjudged her strength of will.”
I shook my head as I started crying from shock, “Jesus Christ… is she going to live?... Were we fast enough?”
She responded slowly, “We do not know yet if she will survive… However, Andrew, thank you, for you may have saved her life.”
I screamed, “THAT’S NOT HOW SUICIDE WORKS! I DIDN’T SAVE ANYTHING; I JUST KEPT HER ALIVE!”
Michael came over and hugged me, “Maybe… maybe that’s all we need to get the chance to truly save her. Andrew, you need to try to calm down now.”
I shook my head, as the image of her sitting in her own blood was burned into my mind. How the hell did this happen? Ruth was shy, sure… but I never once saw depression in her. I knew depression when I saw it… and she wasn’t depressed!
Several minutes passed as I forced myself to breathe deeply, desperately trying to calm down. Finally, the shock began to fade, and I started thinking more clearly.
I slowly turned to look at Michael, “What now… Should we go to the hospital?”
He shook his head, “No, they’ll need some time to try to restore her vitals… You can’t do anything right now, I’m afraid.”
I felt another wave of intense worry hit me, “What if she tries again? I need to make sure she doesn’t try again!”
He nodded, “She’ll be put into the high-risk section of the hospital. She’ll be monitored constantly, so don’t worry about that.”
I shook my head, “I have to do something though, right? I mean I can’t just stand here and do nothing after all of this!”
He looked at me sadly, “Unfortunately, that's exactly what you need to do for now. I don’t know what else to tell you.”
I tried thinking of something else, “Ok… um… well, AI, please can you get someone to repair the door damage I caused, and I will pay all costs towards it, of course. Um… let’s go… to the HQ, I guess. I’ll try not to worry, and you can shout at me about privacy, AI.”
She responded, “Very well, but Andrew… thank you.”
I slowly walked out of the apartment, looking down at the floor. The next-door neighbour opened their front door, peeking their head out cautiously as they looked at me.
He spoke nervously, “Mate… what was all that noise and commotion?”
For a moment, I nearly considered telling him, but I remembered what AI said about privacy, “Um, police raid… they thought there might be drugs here or something.”
He looked at me confused, “That sweet girl was doing drugs?”
I shook my head, “No, it was a false report… a prank call.”
He looked at me in deep thought for a moment, “Andrew, is that you? … Yeah, I thought it was you. Alright, well she is with the Roses, so it makes sense that you were here and Michael’s a law enforcement agent… Ok mate, will she be ok though?”
I looked at him trying my hardest not to cry, “I hope so…”