Livia twisted her Raven ring around her finger and peered anxiously out her window. The Halls would be here in less than an hour and she couldn’t stand the wait.
“I think you like-like Tavian,” Whitney teased.
Livia tossed a glare at her. “Hush, you.”
“You get this soft look on your face every time you talk about him.”
That’s cause Livia worried about him. Everyone in Rattus house could sense emotions, but Tavian was an adnotator, someone who could discern emotions by sight. Livia had seen the toll it could take on him. Adrian could sense emotions through touch--a tactor. Since he could control who he touched the majority of the time, being an empath wasn't nearly as draining on him. Adrian was completely different than Tavian as a result--less empathetic, careless to a fault, and impatient.
“You’ll understand when you meet them,” Livia said, pacing across the spotlessly clean kitchen.
“Does he know Corvin is the competition?” Whitney asked.
Livia turned, surprised. “What?”
“You like this, Corvin,” Whitney said.
“No...why do you think that?” Livia asked.
Whitney shook her head. “One, you can tell. Two, you told me yourself.”
“I did?”
“He’s your work crush,” she said.
Livia pouted. “You’re sworn to secrecy!”
“Why not tell him?” she asked. “He’s cute. He’s nice. I’d date him.”
Livia glared at her.
“You’re gonna miss your chance,” she said
Livia huffed. Whitney figured it out. Livia wasn’t careful enough. But she worried. Could everyone tell? Was she transparent to everyone? She wanted to stop liking Corvin. They’d adopted a more friendly relationship the past couple of weeks. There were no more slammed doors or dramatic stomp offs on Livia’s part. She was embarrassed to admit it, but that conversation with Corvin about Taurus needing sleep had been pivotal in managing so many negative emotions. The first week she was ready to give up on the whole experiment because she was sleeping way too much. Then Monday hit and she felt like a whole new person.
She could concentrate better in class. She was more social with her classmates, and she didn’t feel like people were judging her as much. Instead of spending a lot of energy battling dark thoughts, she was able to focus more on people’s little dramas. She encouraged Felicity in her attempts to adjust to life outside Caesarea. She congratulated Corvin when he turned in a huge project. She checked in with Terrance when he’d had a long day.
Livia didn’t recognize herself and she liked it. She started scheduling time to sleep. She said no to late-night movies and any activities after 10:00. Whitney was kind of annoyed with her about it and this was the first time they’d had a real conversation in three days.
Still, Livia’s attraction to Corvin being obvious stressed her out. Corvin Tullius was the son of Lars Tullius, the paterfamilias of Lupus house. Corvin would be paterfamilias of the largest house in Caesarea eventually. He had a large loving, tight-knit family, who were all well off and multi-talented. There was no way they would consider her anywhere near qualified to be materfamilias one day. And if by some miracle they did, Livia wouldn’t consider herself capable of filling that role.
Livia’s life had been too different from Corvin’s. It would never be possible to overcome the differences in their life experiences. Though, that was small compared to what Livia really feared. What if she was just like her mother? She saw the parallels. A young girl with a rough home life falls in love with the richest, most well-connected, and prominent guy in Caesarea. Was Livia that shallow? Was she that desperate? She wanted a better life for herself and her children than what her mother had. That meant making different decisions. Corvin was a little too close to the type of man her mother had chosen the first time around, and they’ll all paid dearly for that. Livia needed a guy that was safe, boring, predictable. Corvin was not that guy. Again, she needed to stop liking him. He was too complicated, too confusing, too powerful, too all the things that made a man terrifying.
A knock sounded on the door.
“They’re here!” Livia cried.
She ran to the door and threw it open. Tan immediately tackled her in a hug. Livia hugged her fiercely back. “Tan! I missed you!”
“Livia, that’s too tight.” She laughed.
Livia released her instantly. “Sorry.”
Tan only grinned and stepped aside so Adrian could pull her into a hug too. She ignored the fact his hug was too tight. “Liv!”
“Adrian,” she grunted. He let her go.
Tavian smiled at her. “In a mood for a hug, Liv?”
“Yeah,” she said. She loved that he asked. She pulled him close, more gentle. Tavian tugged her into a perfect hug. His arms encircled her with just the right amount of pressure and pulled away at the exact right time. This guy put her soul at ease.
Then there was Arik.
Ooo, she’d forgotten how nice it could be to look at him. Adrian and Tavian were fine, no doubt, but Arik was make-you-forget-your-own-name handsome. His dark brown eyes were crowned with an expressive forehead that puckered in the most heart-wrenching way when he frowned. His lips were so perfect it was almost unbelievable that they weren’t sculpted by an artist. Arik was flawless--at least when it came to looks. The other things, the more important things--like loyalty, consistency, and fortitude, weren’t his forte.
“Liv,” he said, reaching out for half a hug.
“Hey,” she said, trying to smile in a way that was friendly but not I-still-like-you friendly. She pulled away from him quickly and introduced them all to her roommate Whitney, whose eyes were huge. She seemed a little awestruck and Livia tried to tease her out of it a bit and failed.
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The Halls were amused, immensely, and they retreated to the parking lot to show her the car.
“Sorry, bout that, guys. She’s usually more down to earth,” Livia said.
They laughed about it.
“Not every day you see three hunks,” Tan said.
“Three sexy hunks,” Arik said.
“Served straight up to your door,” Adrian joked.
Livia exchanged a mutual eye-roll with Tavian. They operated on the same bs-detecting-wavelength, thankfully.
They handed over the keys and Livia made them all smoosh in so she could take the car for a drive. “Who’s hungry?” she asked.
They all chimed in for food. So, Livia drove them to the best hamburger and fries place in town. They caught up over dinner and then Livia drove them to their motel and drove herself home.
###
The next morning they asked her to pick them up at nine. Livia showed them around the campus all day. Exploring the gym, library, the buildings, the student center, the gift shop, a couple of the statues. It was a good time all around. That night, since it was Saturday they headed over to Ratco.
“So, who all is here?” Tavian asked.
“Um, Terrance and Felicity from Rattus.”
“Aw, Felicity is so sweet,” Adrian said. “Tender-hearted soul. How is she?”
“It’s been a hard adjustment,” Livia said. “I’ve tried to help here and there, but she’s still down a lot of the time.”
“Aw, hopefully, we can cheer her up,” Tan said.
“Then there’s Corvin.”
Tavian asked. “How is Corvin?”
Livia sighed. “I never know. He’s Corvin.”
“What’s that mean?” Tan asked.
“He’s emotionless,” Livia said. “Can’t read him.”
“Really?” Adrian asked. “That sounds like he’s having a rough time.”
“It does?” Livia asked.
“Yeah,” Tavian agreed. “I wonder if it’s Bella or the shooting he’s not over yet.”
“Bella?” Livia asked.
Arik hooted. “Bella Aurelius, Livia.”
Livia scoffed. “I know, Arik, but I doubt he’s still upset about that.”
“Why do you say that?” Adrian asked.
“Yeah,” Arik encouraged. “Explain that.”
“Just the way he acted when they broke up--”
“How did he act?” Adrian pressed.
Why were they giving her such a hard time over this? Livia huffed. “He gave Bella an ultimatum that if she wanted to fix their relationship she had to give up her job, which is totally unacceptable.”
“What?” Tan asked in shock. “He actually gave her that option? He is way too nice--”
Livia growled. “You mean he was a controlling jerk, right?”
Tavian interjected before Adrian or Arik could, thankfully. His voice was calm and kind instead of short and frustrated. “You’re responding like you don’t know what happened. Right before you came to Caesarea, she spilled Corvin’s political secrets to get an unpaid position on Aquila house staff.”
“It paid off,” Arik said. “She’s got a cushy job now. Unheard of for a woman in Caesarea to have a full-time paid position on the staff of the consul.”
“Wait. What?” Livia demanded. “What political secrets?”
“Corvin was obligated by family connections to donate to the political campaign of one of his cousins,” Adrian explained. “Except, Corvin didn’t agree with his platform. Instead of making a fuss over it, he donated a larger monetary amount to the campaign he supported under the name of a business he owns--”
“Corvin owns a business?” Livia asked.
“He registered his own business so Justin Aurelius could hire and pay him to work on technical writing projects for TARP,” Tavian explained. “Most of the pamphlets they pass out on mental illness, addiction recovery, and abuse are written by him.”
“Wow,” was all Livia could manage. She’d known when she’d stayed with Justin and Flavia’s family that Bella was being shunned. It was impossible to ignore but no one had told her the reasons. Livia and Bella had become good friends. Livia often took her out bird-watching to get her away from all the drama in Caesarea. Bella had been patient and kind to Livia when Hyrum left for eight weeks. Livia hadn’t been easy to live with--paranoid, anxious. Livia would wake the house up with night terrors, refused some days to leave her room. Justin had walked her through all that nonsense. She didn’t know what would have happened to her without Justin’s help and advice.
“That’s not even the worst part,” Tan said. “After Bella exposed Corvin for donating to two political campaigns, Lupus house split into factions. There wasn't enough consensus when the votes came around to look after Lupus house interests. So they weren’t given the funds from the budget to take care of needy Lupus house families. Lars has been feeding them with emergency funds for nine months. Corvin keeps trying to make amends but it looks like the same thing is going to happen this fall. There isn’t enough money left to take care of those families next year without a welfare budget.”
Livia gulped. If that were the case then Corvin was way too nice. Livia would have cut Bella off completely. Livia’s friendship with Bella was probably the reason Corvin had given her a cold shoulder. Livia’s heart sank as she saw the situation differently. It probably looked like she had taken Bella’s side. It was a wonder Corvin had offered his friendship at all. Then she’d been a jerk about it. Livia felt guilt clench her heart in its fist. Why was she always so stupid?
“You didn’t know?” Tavian asked, seriously.
“No.”
“You were friends with Bella, right?” Tan asked.
Livia shrugged. She wasn’t at a high point at that time in her life. In fact, she was doing so much better now that she was almost surprised at herself. She’d healed, she’d changed, grown-up, and gotten tougher in ways she hadn’t thought about.
“Bella never explained any of that to me. Does that surprise you?” she asked.
Adrian laughed. “No.”
Arik asked. “Probably thought you wouldn’t remain her friend.”
Livia didn’t like that she wondered about that very fact. She was extremely unsettled that the most vulnerable people of the community were punished for Bella’s decision. Had Bella done anything to fix that?
“Do you think--” Livia had to ask. “If they had gotten back together that the split in the senate would have resolved itself?”
“Probably better that they didn’t,” Arik said. “I think Lupus house would have considered that a betrayal of them on Corvin’s part.”
Tavian disagreed. “Yeah, but the Aurelian faction would have thrown their support behind them and they have a lot of influence. It might have worked--”
Adrian snorted. “No, there is no way that wouldn’t come back to haunt everyone. She sold him out for an unpaid position. She didn’t love him. Better it happened last year instead of in five years. The welfare system needed reform anyway because of this exact situation.”
Livia swallowed. Her heart hurt for those in Lupus house that were suffering insecurity because people valued their pride above feeding their fellow house members. She couldn’t think of many things more awful.
Tavian interrupted her thoughts, “How have you been doing here, Liv? Do you like school? Things going good?”
Livia sighed. “Not as easy as I expected it to be in some ways. But it’s not bad. Some moments are good.”
“So, it’s okay?” Tan said.
“Yeah,” Livia nodded. “I’m comfortable here.”
“That’s good to hear,” Adrian said. “It’s nice to hear you’re happy.”
Livia wasn’t sure if she’d describe herself as happy--happy was a tricky state--but she was close to it.
“Thanks,” Livia said, pulling into her visitor’s spot at Ratco. “We’re a little early. Let’s hope they aren’t too annoyed with us.”