Rose’s comfortable hospital room was beginning to feel like a prison cell. Though she had already demonstrated her ability to walk on her leg, she was still confined to her bed until the doctor decided she was ready for duty. Now that she could move about, she was scheduled for an hour a day of physical therapy, and no more. The rest was spent in bed, reading whatever material was available from the Valkyrie library, even technical manuals, if it kept her from dying of boredom.

She was slowly going stir crazy, and it got worse when new patients arrived. Some came from off-world, who had been severely wounded in an operation, and there would be a stampede of medical staff urgently shouting commands and calling for assistance, while Rose sat alone, feeling useless.

A stroll in the gardens of Tyr city would have done her good—she was sure the nanites could heal whatever damage remained. But doctor’s orders were orders, and she couldn’t even leave her room without them signing off.

“I really think I can do some more advanced movement,” she complained, after her last physical therapy session. “Like a nice walk outside?”

The doctor checked her chart again. “You’re making good progress, I agree, but in my experience, we shouldn’t rush this. Deep bone trauma needs time and patience, not enthusiasm.”

Rose suppressed an outburst of frustration. “Yes, Major.”

Several days later, Rose had a welcome visit from a Ranger she didn’t recognize. The woman was limping, but didn’t seem too badly hurt as she entered the room.

“Rose Djallen?”

Rose shot up in bed. “Yes?”

“I’m from Mountain Ranger battalion. A friend of yours, Thandi, asked me to check in on you and said she’d tried to catch up with you soon.”

“Oh, thank you—that’s very good of you,” Rose settled back against her pillows as her pulse relaxed again. The disappointment brought clear-headedness, and her forehead crinkled. “Why didn’t she stop by herself?”

“Well, you know I was just passing through. Seems I had an unfortunate run in with a jeep that wasn’t watching where it was going. Totally their fault. I’m fine, really—probably shouldn’t even be here. Can’t believe my bad luck, you know?”

Rose raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

The Ranger paused a moment. “Oh… well, I probably shouldn’t say. All I’m saying is Thandi couldn’t stop by, and she didn’t want you thinking she’d forgotten about you.”

Something about her reluctance made Rose curious. “What about Kayla? Did she say anything?”

“I don’t know any Kayla, it’s a big battalion you know?”

“They’re in the same squad.”

The Ranger shrugged helplessly. “Okay, well… I didn’t see anyone else.”

Rose thought fast. There was only one obvious reason somebody might not talk about a unit’s activity to an outsider. “Is the battalion deploying? That’s why you’re annoyed about your injury, isn’t it?”

“Come on, you know I shouldn’t talk about that.” She stopped, seeing Rose’s desperate expression. “Ugh- whatever. Yes, they are, and don’t I feel like the world’s biggest idiot for getting myself out of action? It really sucks when your friends go out, and you can’t be there, you know?”

For Rose, everything began to add up. Christie was working on Caldera, then Kayla had gone over on leave, and apparently hadn’t returned, while the rest of the battalion was deploying. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

Rose leaned forward, nearly out of breath with excitement. “They’re going to Caldera aren’t they? Something’s happening there.”

“How…? No! Stop trying to guess! Compartmentalization is a real thing, you know? I’m not getting posted to some back end of nowhere security detail again. No more questions, got it?”

The buzz of energy was quickly replaced by a gnawing tension in Rose’s gut. The organization had convinced her that they rarely went near human space, so what could have happened that needed Rangers to be sent to a colonized planet? Rackeye was her home. Were her friends or family in danger?

She apologized politely and thanked her visitor, promising not to share what she’d heard with anyone else. As she lay in bed, trying to pretend she could relax, Kayla’s face passed in front of her mind, followed by Christie and Thandi.

Leaving her family and social circles behind had been a difficult culture shock for Rose, but the presence of the three quarrelsome and strong-minded girls had quickly become an irreplaceable crutch.

Gone were the lofty speeches about important social causes, by which Rose’s old clique had measured their self-worth. Instead, her fellow recruits mended each other’s boot laces when they snapped, or wiped the pus off a painful leg-rash while changing a bandage, or lent a shoulder when a knee gave out.

Their training had forced them to live in each other’s presence almost constantly—sleeping, eating, hiking or exercising together. They had talked about life and death, history, philosophy, friends, boyfriends, family, suffering and success. They had talked absolute nonsense for hours straight, just to replace the boredom.

In the beginning, Rose had barely been able to stand Kayla’s presence. By graduation, she could recognize her silhouette on the opposite side of a field, at night. She knew how many hours into sleep Thandi would start talking to herself. She could describe in exactly which order Christie would eat the various sachets in any of a dozen ration packs.

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The thought of being assigned to a different unit, to start all over again without them had been difficult. Now they were in danger, while she, the spoiled rich girl, was once again being held back and protected.

Rose’s cheeks flushed with heat as she remembered her and Kayla’s fights, instigated for the most part by the lies of the peers she had respected. So much unnecessary pain and anger, while her precious League, in their arrogance, had dismissed the colonist’s day-to-day struggles. It wasn’t that she was ready to reject her own community, but she had to admit that while they might preach high-minded ideals, when they were really needed, the galaxy’s elite were useless.

And now so was she.

That was simply unacceptable.

A plan began to form, unbidden, in her mind. At first it was only a fantasy; after all she would need the Major’s medical consent, which she obviously wouldn’t get. But even as she tried to forget the idea, it sat in her subconscious, furiously building itself into a concrete course of action.

Her medical status meant that she hadn’t yet been assigned to a unit, so she wouldn’t technically be disobeying orders if she wandered off on her own. All she had to do was convince the Major to sign off and let her leave the hospital. There would be a bureaucratic delay before any orders came through, during which time she would be free to slip through the cracks in the system.

Rose tried to ignore her imagination and get back to sleep. She was just a small cog in an immense machine, and she had no business trying to interfere with its operation.

She repeated these words over and over, until she remembered the Mountain Ranger’s comment about letting her friends down. What if Kayla, Christie or Thandi got hurt, when she could have been there to stop it?

Rose felt a painful ache in her chest.

Why was she so concerned about the organization’s rules? Didn’t they teach her to think for herself? She wouldn’t be hurting anyone if she went—apart from possibly herself. But technically she was already injured, so did that even count? In the worst-case scenario, she could at least be passing messages in a command center on Caldera, rather than sitting helplessly in a hospital bed.

Rose glanced at the bedside clock, and realized that she had been lying still with her eyes closed for nearly an hour.

“Private Djallen, what do you think you doing!” scolded the Major as she walked into the gym.

Rose was squatting a six-hundred-pound bar—much heavier than the limits of her physical therapy allowed.

She racked the bar, and turned to the Major, a winning smile on her lips. “Apologies ma’am,” she said as politely as she could. “But I know I’ve healed sufficiently, and I just wanted to prove it.”

“You’ve disobeyed my medical orders.”

“I just don’t see the reason to follow the protocol when I could be applying myself more productively.”

The doctor stared at her suspiciously. “How many reps did you do with that weight?”

“Twelve,” Rose lied. She had managed six before sensing a pain begin to build in her leg.

The doctor sighed and crossed her arms. “Well, I can’t say I don’t appreciate your attitude, and it is clear that you’re healing faster than expected.”

“I just don’t want to waste any more medical resources, ma’am.”

“Hmm. Well, I tell you what. Show me another twelve squats, and I might—might—think about signing your release.”

Rose nodded, her gut tightening as she stepped back under the bar. The dull throbbing in her leg flared ominously as she lifted the bar on her back and took up the position. As she lowered to the bottom of the movement she sensed the tightness return.

Adrenaline flooded her body and she experienced a flash of rage. How could some stupid rule of biology keep her from doing what was necessary? After a lifetime of exercising her legs to be a better dancer, how dare the limb threaten to let her down now? It would perform, regardless of the consequences, and she would not accept any alternative. And what was pain, after all? She had long ago gotten tired of that pathetic sensation—the wail of weakness.

She got to rep six again before jolts of lightning broke through her mental walls, and she began sweating. Wondering if she might pass out, she found that she could still maintain the form and the movement if she concentrated hard.

Reps seven, and eight nearly overwhelmed her, but her leg hadn’t snapped in two. She might be in agony, but it would end eventually, leaving her victorious.

Nine and ten made her want to shake all over. The pain had diminished, but she could feel her body beginning to fail. She saw Kayla sneering at her—she was a failure, and a shame on the organization. Everyone knew it. They were just waiting for her to prove it.

Next rep. Don’t think of the number. Just one more in an endless sequence. Don’t think of anything.

Next rep. At the bottom Rose wavered. A lifetime of Helvetic teaching passed through her mind. Her genetic potential. The perfection of the soul. Humanity challenging itself against the infinite might of the universe. She prayed to a god she didn’t know she had worshipped. And, somehow, her body started to rise.

For a moment, she felt like her spirit was watching it happen from a distance. The sensation only lasted a moment and then twelve was over. She had won.

On the verge of passing out, Rose turned back to the Major, careful to keep her face blank, and most of her weight on her good leg. Even that movement forced her to suppress a wince.

The woman eyed her suspiciously. “You’re sweating pretty heavily.”

“I must have lost some fitness during all that time in bed.”

“I suppose. I’m surprised how well you did, to be honest.” She ran her hand through her hair. “Maybe I was being a bit conservative. Okay, if you’re happy with your leg, we’ll head over to my office and sign your release. You’ll have to hang around here a couple of days until they assign you to a unit, but you can have free use of the gym, and you can wander around outside.”

Rose made sure to smile brightly. “Yes ma’am, thank you. I’ll just grab a quick drink”.

In the bathroom she vomited, then cleaned herself up and gulped down as much water as she could.

As they walked over to the Major’s office, Rose had to concentrate hard to ignore the screaming pain coursing through her nerves. It took an immense effort, but she could walk without a limp, though she knew that she had set back her true recovery by at least another month.

She realized with fascination that she was still making this observation from a distance, as though the feelings belonged to someone else. The need to reach Caldera simply drowned out everything else in her mind.

Once the release form was signed, Rose returned to her room feeling light-headed at her success. She made sure the wing was empty of staff before raiding a supply closet to rig an adequate splint for her leg, which she hid under her sports pants. With that done, she limped through the corridors, checking in some of the other rooms.

A young woman was sleeping, her personal items piled up in a corner. Rose rifled through them, grabbing the woman’s panic alarm. Then she went straight to the main desk, presented her release form, and walked out into the city of Tyr. For at least twenty-four hours she would be free to go wherever she pleased.

An auto-taxi took her to the starport, where she followed the other women on leave who were queuing up for the transit shuttles.

“Where’re you going, my dear?” asked one of the crew.

“Caldera, Rackeye city—got a couple days leave. I want to go get hammered with some old friends.”

The woman laughed. “Sure, I know that feeling. Strap in and put your feet up.”

Rose grinned. “Thanks!”

The rush of success in the face of potential punishment was wonderful. No wonder Kayla did it so often.

They didn’t even bother to check her ID. So much of the organization was based on trust, and here she was, abusing it for her own ends. Again, Rose calmly observed the thoughts passing though her mind without really connecting, and she wondered if she was becoming a psychopath.