At lunch, Christie joined the rest of the class later than usual. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and her legs were shaking so badly she could barely stand upright. She explained that she had cheated on a surf run, turning back before the marker when she thought the instructors weren’t looking. Unfortunately, they had seen her and made her do the whole thing again.

Kayla winced. The instructors punished cheating with naked ferocity. “You okay?” she asked.

“I’m good,” Christie replied, as she collapsed into a chair.

Everyone was good. No matter who Kayla asked or what state they were in, the response was always the same.

“I can clean the cabin windows today,” she offered. It had been her turn the previous day, but her friend needed a favor.

Christie shook her head. “No, I’m good. I’ve got it.”

Kayla admired the response. Everybody had their own burden to carry, and Christie had chosen to make hers heavier. She had refused to inflict that choice on her fellow recruits.

“That was dumb, trying to cheat Instructor Liang,” Thandi pointed out. “She never misses anything.”

Christie’s shoulders moved slightly, as though she had tried to shrug. “Wanted to see if I could get away with it.”

Kayla nodded. The instructors controlled every part of their lives, and she often searched for any small way to take some of that control back. Earlier in the course, she had been sneaking desserts out of the cafeteria for their cabin, but stopped once Rose pointed out that this meant taking from the rest of the recruits.

“I’m so tired today,” Thandi sighed. “I can’t handle another session of flutter kicks. I feel like I’ve been knifed in the gut.”

“Just go into zombie mode,” Rose said.

“Yep,” Kayla agreed. “Don’t think, just do. Make them make you quit. If you don’t die, you’ll get through it.”

“Probably drown on the next swim,” Thandi said.

“Nah, they watch us closely,” Kayla said. “They’ll pull you out if you get in trouble.”

Thandi shrugged. “I might quit tomorrow.”

“You always say that,” Rose said, and yawned.

“Maybe this time I will,” Thandi said.

“Yeah, but wait until tomorrow,” Kayla said. Despite her friend’s strange vocal ritual, she knew Thandi would wake up the next day with renewed energy and conviction.

Thandi turned to Kayla. “I don’t get you. You never cry, you never complain—you just hit things and keep going.”

Kayla chuckled. “Oh, that’s easy. I’m too stupid to know better.”

The others gave her puzzled expressions, and she sighed heavily as she sought the energy to think.

“I guess,” she said eventually, “the real problem is that scared part of your mind that tries to shout you down and convince you that you can’t do something. But you have to ignore that voice and do it, anyway. That’s what I meant. I don’t give myself time to doubt or let my imagination run wild, I just do it.”

“I see,” said Thandi.

“Hey, maybe the voice is the devil? What do you think?”

Thandi stared at her in surprise. “Really?”

“I mean, I don’t know much about religion, but I don’t see how a force that wants to hold you back or keep you weak would be anything else.”

Thandi said nothing as she gazed into the distance.

The next day, after another grueling hike in the hills, Thandi found herself alone in the cafeteria. The recruits had been given individual waypoints to navigate solo, and Thandi had been sent off first. The rest of the evening was off for rest, as a few recruits were nursing injuries. She munched slowly on the food, as she waited for the other girls to return. Despite the punishing exercise, she wasn’t that hungry.

As she ate, a wave of revulsion washed over her, and she thought she might vomit. She dropped her fork and felt the room spin.

Moments later, the canteen door banged open. Christie was standing there, looking similarly shattered.

“All good?” Thandi asked as the chilling feeling dissipated.

Christie helped herself to several plates of food. “Yeah, it was nothing.” The tray rattled in her hands as she joined Thandi at her table. “You?”

Stolen novel; please report.

Thandi shrugged. “Nothing.” She let the silence continue. Christie would be treasuring the moment of peace.

“You’re staying the course quite well,” Christie said, once she had swallowed a few mouthfuls.

“I was called by the Lord,” Thandi said. “Since the youngest age, I knew my place was in the military. I don’t really know why, but who am I to argue with the creator of the universe?”

Christie scrunched her eyebrows together.

“You either get it, or you don’t,” Thandi said wryly. “Don’t bother overthinking it.”

“So, I take it you won’t be quitting tomorrow?”

Thandi gazed into the distance. “When I was a kid, I had too much energy and I used to run around in the fields outside my house. Sometimes I would catch my foot and start to trip, but I stumbled forward. I could get my legs underneath me just in time to catch the next step, then the next. Eventually I’d either dive into the dirt or end up righting myself.” She looked back at Christie. “Know what I mean?”

“Indeed. The image does feel familiar.”

“All I need to think about is the next step. If I remove all the others, it’s easier.”

“And does it bother you that your parents will never know the truth?”

“No.” Thandi frowned. “They wouldn’t accept me doing this. All my brothers got to join the Intaban army, but a woman’s place is at her home waiting for her husband. That’s the level of tradition in my hometown.”

Christie blushed. “Oh… I’m sorry.”

“Until I turned eighteen, they could keep me from enlisting without their signature, but they couldn’t stop me from becoming a boxer.” Thandi smiled. “Even if they didn’t come to see my fights.”

“Well, their loss is Valkyrie’s gain.”

“That’s… nice of you to say,” Thandi said, checking to see if she had detected any sarcasm.

Christie raised an eyebrow. “It was a genuine compliment. I’m not completely made of ice.”

“I know. You’re not the first person I’ve met who has trouble being nice to people.”

“Oh, I can charm and seduce with the best of them. I just don’t feel like doing that around people I respect.”

Thandi was silent for a moment. “I guess you really aren’t a Helvet.”

“That word is just a badge. People use it to get into the right social circles or cut corners in life.”

“So, why do you keep going?”

Christie smiled slyly. “Would it be so awful if I said I want to wipe that smirk off Kayla’s face—the one she gets when she talks about my ‘Helvetic background’?”

“I can see how that might bother you.”

“One mustn’t shy away from the guilty pleasures in life.” Christie looked down and her face grew somber. “Of course, I feel that way because she’s partly right. My peers talked nonstop about leading humanity into a brighter tomorrow. And here I am having nightmares about some children on a colony world wandering off to explore the hills. Perhaps they kick over a shiny piece of metal they thought was a toy, only to get their faces melted off by a Jotnar chemical weapon.” She shrugged. “And what pain is too great to bear to prevent something like that from happening?”

“I’ve had similar thoughts.”

Christie’s tone grew bitter. “Of course, if it did happen there’d be a news story, widely shared with the appropriate reactions. And my classmates would go on long rants about whatever must be done, while they donate a sliver of their wealth to charity and replace the unfortunate memory on the next ski trip. The thought leaders of tomorrow.” Her lips smiled, but her eyes remained sharp.

“For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead,” Thandi said. “Book of James.”

Christie chuckled and fell silent.

Thandi kept her mind blank. Her thoughts could add nothing to a moment that was beyond the power of her spirit to comprehend.

After a long moment, Christie cleared her throat. “You know, I read a bit more about Isandlwana. The British reaction was quite fascinating. After the battle, the daughter of the colonial administrator wrote to Queen Victoria before any official dispatch was sent. She claimed that General Chelmsford was completely innocent and blamed Colonel Durnford for the catastrophe.”

Thandi raised an eyebrow. “The guy who arrived at the last minute to reinforce the camp? Didn’t he die fighting?”

“Exactly—ran to the sound of the guns. Well, obviously the Queen threw her support behind Lord Chelmsford. She had to—can’t have a member of the aristocracy appear to be incompetent. Outmaneuvered by the natives? Bad look for the Empire, don’t you know?”

“Hah,” Thandi smiled. “And King Cetshwayo ordered his brother not to push forward on his own towards Rorke’s drift. But everyone knew he was jealous of the king. A great victory had been won, but the prince had been out of the battle, waiting in reserve. He had to get his name into the war-songs, no matter how many men he lost. Always the same, isn’t it? Make your reputation, whatever it takes.”

Christie nodded.

“But the British… I just can’t believe how soldiers in the best army in the world could allow themselves to be in that situation. I mean, they were all killed.”

“I suppose,” Christie said, “they trusted that they would be led by people who knew what they were doing, and unfortunately, their trust was betrayed.”

“How?”

“Racism, arrogance, overconfidence from a lifetime of beating small tribes.”

Thandi’s brow creased. “How could the rest of them keep fighting when they had been betrayed like that?”

Christie thought for a moment. “They held onto their trust. They believed they would learn from the mistake and go on to victory. Unfortunately for your ancestors, that’s exactly what happened.”

“Trust.” Thandi shook her head. “These women are keeping so much from us, and yet they promise so much. They’re going to send us to face whatever’s left of an alien civilization more advanced than humanity. Are we getting red coats or wooden shields?”

Christie shifted in her seat. “You know, before my ancestors wore redcoats, they dressed in furs—sometimes nothing at all—brandished wooden spears and hide shields. They, too, faced the most advanced military force the world had ever seen. And they won, quite often.”

“I did not know that.”

“If history has taught me anything, it’s that anyone can win a fight. I don’t know how much I trust this organization, either. I know that I trust you, and Kayla, and Rose. You’re the toughest girls I ever met, and I know that we can do anything together.”

Thandi looked down at her fingernails. “I trust you too,” she said quietly, “and, I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention this conversation to Kayla.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Christie said.

There was a loud clang as the canteen door ripped open and Kayla stomped inside. She grabbed plates of food and began stuffing her mouth while simultaneously trying to complain about one of the instructors.

“Mppphph graaghhuuuu flououhrhhg,” she said, when she sat down with them, impassioned frustration evident in her eyes.

“Oh, for God’s sake, Kayla!” Christie snapped, wiping splotches of sprayed sauce from her face. “Your mouth can only do one thing at a time. Learn some bloody manners.”

Thandi stood up and grabbed her tray. “I’m getting more pasta.”