Alistair turned to see a disturbing-looking creature prowl from around a tree. The thing looked exactly like what a mix between a cat and a snake would be if you were to imagine the body of a cat and the tail of a snake. It had two heads, one cat and one snake at the end of its tail. The tail was covered in scales and the body was covered in fur. The creature’s fur was multicolored, and green, on the bottom. Weird. White above that, and a blue spot…

Oh shit, the colors are changing as it walks, it’s a chameleon/cat/snake. On Earth, this would be very fucking cool… Locked in a zoo and if the look both heads were giving me were any indication of its relation to public safety was a factor, under armed guard. Alistair thought.

[Oh shit. What the fuck is a zoo, and use identify Alistair.] Myst said.

"Identify?" Alistair thought. What do you mean by "Identify"?

Identify (Ability) Level: 1 - This ability allows you to identify anything within sight. More details will become available as the ability advances.

Wow, didn’t know this needed or even could be identified…

First off, weird… secondly, seriously what the fuck is with the snarky comments at the end of these. Last and certainly not least, what does it mean by ability? Alistair asked.

[Wow, where to begin, did earth not have abilities?] Myst asked. [How about backing away from that thing while we think about these very basic and at this very moment extremely crucial details? eh?]

We had abilities, we just didn’t have prompts or levels we just did them, some people trained their bodies and got better and some were just born bad at abilities and such. But this all reads like a video game. Is that what this is?

[Okayyyyy, I see we are going to need a nice safe place so we can have a long conversation about the basics… well, about everything… seeing as how your world seems to be this fucked up horrible place filled with shit and piss and fucking deformed people unable to train abilities, for now, what we are going to do is try and live through whatever that thing is.] Myst said.

Hurtful, but I definitely see your point. so what do you suggest I do? Alistair asked while backing slowly, heart beginning to race in his chest as the creature prowled ever so closer. Also, I thought you were like my Google and knew everything in this world.

[I told you to identify the creature because we need to know the level to see if we even stand a chance. I do know most things about this world, however, the ability to identify things is lost to me now, and for the life of me I do not know why. So if you would be so kind as to look at that creature and use the Identify ability or simply ask what the ‘fuck is that,’ so it can be identified. Thank you.] Myst answered in an almost familiar snarky way.

Alistair looked at the creature and thought, What the fuck is that?!

Chimera (Small) (Cat/snake) - Level: 4

Can you see its level now? or do I have to tell you? Alistair asked.

[Everything you see and experience, I see and experience, it just seems like I can't act on my own, whereas you can. And use skills it seems.] Myst replied back. [How good are you with staves?]

Well, I know it's a stave, and I used to Larp as Darth Maul if that answers your question. Alistair said proudly.

[Okay, No, it certainly does not fucking explain how good you are at staves… What the fuck is Larp and Darth Maul? Given the time-sensitive nature of this situation I’m desperately going to assume that means good, or at least proficient, you should be able to take it on, since it's a small chimera. However, since the type is cat/snake, just watch out for that snake head in case it is poisonous.] Myst shot back very quickly, clearly agitated with his inability to follow Alistair’s references.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

I won back-to-back Star Wars Larping tournaments when I was sixteen. Alistair said spinning his stick in a very proficient manner, striking poses, and doing spins behind his back trading hands and flurrying it around and around.

[I thought you said your world didn’t have levels? How were you level sixteen?] Myst asked.

No, sixteen years old, you know how old you are? Do you guys not celebrate birthdays? Alistair asked still showing off his skills.

[No we celebrate our actual levels though, they are rarer than just surviving in this world, and they actually mean you are getting stronger.] Myst said. [How long is a year?]

What? Just then Alistair got distracted by the absurdly random basic question his hand slipped and the staff went flying off around ten feet away. Shit!

[Nice one ‘Darth Maul…’ Did I say that correctly.] Myst let out a half chuckle that was cut short by his screaming, [Look out!]

The Chimera, seeing its opening pounced at Alistair’s feet, Swiping with its claws and the tail lashing out looking to find purchase on his shin. Alistair was too quick though and dove towards the staff doing a front flip rolling back to his feet in one motion picking up the staff and readying it towards the chimera that turned to face him.

[Smooth…] Myst complimented. [Now let's see how you won those tournaments.]

Alistair smiled, and feinted to attack but brought the staff closer to his body instead spinning his body as he did so while closing the gap between him and the chimera, before placing a firm grip on one end of the staff and thrusting the other end toward the ground where the chimera was standing. The chimera jumped straight up and seemed to hover in place as Alistair smiled, he planted his front foot down and kicked straight up with his right foot connecting to the underside of the chimera feeling a satisfying crunch. The chimera let out a whimper and flew about twenty feet in the air before falling unconsciously to the ground, Alistair watched it lay there for about three or four breaths until its breathing stopped.

You have defeated: Chimera-Cat/Snake - Level: 4

You have gained 40 exp.

I guess you like picking on small things, huh?

Seriously, what is with these damn snarky comments? The thing attacked me, what am I supposed to do? Alistair asked no one in particular.

[I don’t know, that's so weird…] Myst said. Alistair picked up on a strange feeling. [Looks like we have food now, so that’s good. Right?] Myst said quickly realizing what Alistair must be feeling.

Seriously, is this thing even edible? Alistair asked.

[I don’t know, if only we had a skill or an ability that could tell us such things…] Myst said sarcastically.

I already identified it smart-ass, it just said “Chimera (Small) (Cat/snake) Level: 4.” Alistair fired back.

[Have you used it since you killed it?] Myst asked, knowing the answer.

So it changes after something is dead? Alistair asked.

[Well, if something was alive and now that something is dead, did it change? When you cut a tree down and cut it into logs, is it still a tree or is it a log?] Myst answered.

Obviously, it changes, look… on Earth, we didn’t have skills or abilities like Identify, we just cut things open after killing them and cooked it and ate it. Alistair said, anger filling him slightly.

[How did you know if it was edible before you ate it?] Myst asked genuinely curious. He could not fathom a world without the ability to Identify.

We were taught what we can eat and not eat early on in life. Though I guess if you want to go far back enough to when they learned I guess they learned by trial and error, they just ate things and if you lived, it was fine. if not they taught others not to eat it. Nowadays on Earth, they can do tests using a kit, or a scratch test. Alistair said.

[That’s brutal and barbaric. We used to have people here like that though they were just too stupid to realize they could identify things. They did exactly what you are describing and they died off due to lack of intelligence. Anyway, what's a scratch test?] Myst asked.

It's where you scratch a spot like your forearm, Alistair began to explain pointing to a spot on his forearm, and you rub the food you are about to eat on it and wait 30 minutes to see if that spot gets irritated or not. Though that test was only basic and not very effective when it came to most things. and also came with the risk of people dying from the more poisonous things that killed on contact. Don’t even get me started on those people that die from peanut dust floating through the air. Sucking all the joy out of school lunches and bake sales. Alistair finished.

[… Trust me I won't. Anyway, we should loot the chimera before it attracts higher leveled creatures and skedaddle.] Myst said. [Oh right, more Basic explanation. Go over to the dead chimera, touch the creature, and think “Loot.”] Myst said talking slowly like a neanderthal.

Hmm, guess they had those too. Alistair thought and did what Myst said.

— — Loot — —

Chimera fur (camouflage)(1)

Chimera Fang (2)

Chimera meat (Raw) 4

Cat’s Paw (4)

Core* (Small)

[Wow a Core* on your first creature kill, you must be lucky.] Myst said, sounding genuinely surprised.

What do you mean, what is a Core*? Alistair asked.

[Let's save that for when we get somewhere safe first.] Myst said.

The Loot appeared in a neat pile where the dead chimera carcass had been. Nice, no need to skin the animal or anything, just say loot, and Bam, there it is. Alistair thought.

[Just what type of strange fucked up world did you come from, honestly…] Myst said almost too quietly to hear.