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Synchronising With Host...
[Synchronisation Successful]
System Starting Up...
[Updating Existing Data]
Current Assimilation Status...
[Assimilation Progress: 0.25%]
Estimated Time Of Completion...
[Unknown]
Reporting Host's Condition...
[Host's Condition: 'Stable' ]
All necessary requirements have been met. Proceed with Host's 'awakening'.
[Continue Assimilation]
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I don't know when this thought first began, all I know is that it started when I was much younger. It was around a time when I could only see and not speak. Arguments, lies, deception, anger- I witnessed all sorts of things which I came to naturally hate and my Father was always there to constantly remind me... to never 'lie'.
That's why I never really wanted to become like this... Someone that's two-faced, a person who lies and deceives. After all, I have gone back on what Father had said and I have become the very person who I would hate. Yet as each day goes by, I start to think less of my sins and then continue to act without any care for them.
To someone who doesn't believe in God, I'm sure that they'd see my thoughts and worries as being unnecessary- but what they think doesn't matter to me. For me, I believe in God- everything that I know or have experienced points towards his existence.
I'm sure he's watching me right now, at this very moment. I'm sure he's watching everyone and everything.
I am being constantly judged for each and every action, good or bad- but honestly... I don't know what else I could possibly do in this situation. It's as if I've become obsessed with this 'one outcome' and this 'one route' that I must take.
I don't even know if it will be successful... yet I'm just blindly following this path. I don't even know if this is because of the influence of my 'other self' or not, it could even be that I have decided everything myself.
This unordinary obsession... gives me the feeling that I'll continue to walk down this unknown path and my deeds will carry on growing. The weight of my sins will become even heavier in the future.
No matter how hard I try not to, I'll still end up sinning.
I know I have not committed the worst possible sins in existence in my life so far, but that does not mean that these sins I have been committing do not matter. Also... it certainly doesn't feel good when lying and deceiving others either, I detest doing it and I only feel bad afterwards.
Yet, I continue to do it. I continue to lie and hope that it will help me achieve what I want. The ideal outcome. Why am I doing this? Well, that's because... because...
[I'm scared.]
I don't want to die. I don't want Mother to die. I don't want us to feel pain. I don't want to cry again. I don't want to see Mother cry again. I want us to be happy. I want...
[I want to be freed from this fate...]
One day, I hope that God can erase all my sins and forgive me. God is the most merciful after all. If I can keep my faith, if I am worthy of wishing... then I also wish for a future where Mother will be happy- a future where everyone can be happy. That's the sort of wish I want granted.
One day... I hope that 'I' can be happy.
For all that to happen, I must not forget a single thing. I must repent. Every single day, I must remember. I cannot simply ignore my wrongdoings.
That's why... I'm sorry Mother. I'm sorry Father, Scarlet- I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry God...
["I'm sorry for being a sinner."]
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Sebastian snapped out of his thoughts, then hurriedly put his dagger back into the ground and covered the hole back up again. He made sure that no one could possibly guess that there was something hidden near the tree.
The boy stood up on the small hill and then looked around himself. To the right was a nice open field and to the left was a small house and a path leading to the rest of the village.
Sebastian wondered what it would feel like to walk carefreely in the field every day. To be without worry...
The grass would be soft and warm on his soles as they gently tickle his feet with each step forward he takes. Each strand would move in the summer breeze as easily as his hair, the waves and rustling as alive as his steady breaths.
It was a spontaneous thought, one that wouldn't amount to much. Yet, it made Sebastian feel desolate and bereft, and he couldn't quite understand why. This sadness that he was feeling... just what was it?
...
Now... I-I guess I'll see if there's been any progress made with the 'negotiations'. Yeah, that's what I should do. I'm sure Scarlet's Father is enjoying the time he's spending with the old man. It must be nice to catch up with an old friend... or a teacher?
Well, I don't know exactly what their relationship and past is like but they do seem to be more than just acquaintances.
Ah, but first... I guess I should tell Scarlet that I'm not playing anymore. I don't know exactly how she'd react but I hope she doesn't get upset or angry at me. I don't like being the one to make people feel bad or make them harbour negative thoughts or emotions...
Sebastian turned to his left and then walked down the tiny, grassy hill. Before strolling off into the village, he looked behind himself and for a moment, he glanced at the beautiful tree he was at just a few seconds ago. The boy then shook his head again and continued on with his search for Scarlet.
...
For the most part, the houses in the village were small, with one or two rooms for people and animals alike. This changed in recent years and as a result most of the houses central to the village have improved gradually to become more stable or larger.
Though, there are still some houses which have not improved at all despite the passing of time- an example would be my house. Of course, there were many reasons behind this lack of renewal or improvement due to reasons such as lack of money, time, and so on. But even so-
"Ah- Scarlet! Hey!! Scarlet!!!"
From the distance, Sebastian spotted Scarlet who was chatting with her friends.
"...Yes!! I'll be there now!!"
It looked as if Scarlet hurriedly gave instructions to the other girls, they were in the midst of playing a game after all.
"Hey- Sebastian, what's wrong?" Scarlet rushed over to Sebastian to see why exactly he was calling her.
"Ah, you see... it's not exactly an urgent thing or anything if that's what you thought."
"Uhuh."
"But... I'm kind of getting bored of this game, so I want to do something else- preferably by myself."
"Oh... I see. Well... uhh, I'll be coming along with you then!"
"..."
"I know you want to be by yourself but I have to stay with you, that's what your mother said... remember?"
"Ah... that's true. But aren't your friends gonna complain if you just disappear on them?"
"Ah whatever, It'll be fine~"
"...Well, if you say so. We'll start off by seeing Mr Godwin."
"Ah, I see... Father should also be up there on that hill where the old man lives, right?"
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
"Yeah, I've asked some people in the village and one of them said that your Father went to see Mr Godwin."
"Hmm... negotiations are still ongoing I see."
"Yeah... I really do want to buy a boat. It doesn't matter how small it is, as long as it can fit at least two people then it's good."
"Yeah- it would be nice, you've never really said anything about what you've wanted before, have you?"
Sebastian nodded slightly and the two started walking. Scarlet looked at Sebastian each time she spoke but then looked away whenever Sebastian's eyes met hers.
"It- It would also be nice to get one as well... since you said to me before that you were interested in fishing."
"Mhm, yup. There's not a lot I want in life, but when I do want something then I almost have to have it."
Sebastian and Scarlet continued chatting as they went on their way to see 'the old man on the hill'. As usual, it was a tiring walk up there- and it didn't help that Scarlet was so competitive and decided to start a race with Sebastian...
*Huff* *Huff*
"Seriously... just why did this old man have to decide to live up here?"
"Well, I don't know to be honest... And please, stop trying to win against me in everything..."
"Hehe~ Well if there's one thing you can't beat me in, it's having lots and lots of energy!"
"Ugh..." Sebastian sighed and then shook his head.
Come to think of it, maybe Mr Godwin decided to live up here because he didn't want to be around people all the time. Though... that doesn't make sense since he ends up listening and helping people with their problems. It does, however, tie in with what he had said to me before- on that day when we were looking out to the sea...
"Oh, look who it is! Sebastian- and Scarlet, my little girl~"
"Father... I'm not 'a little girl' anymore- Stop embarrassing me! Hmph-"
Scarlet pouted and crossed her arms in disapproval.
"Ahaha, is that so..."
"..."
Victor Godwin stayed silent as he watched the children walking over to them. He glanced at Sebastian for a while but then quickly averted his gaze and focused on Cynebal.
"Well... give me some time to think. Go and talk with these children and don't mind me, Cynebal."
"Ah, I understand."
"Wait... is he going to do 'that' again."
"Sure seems like it."
"Well, it's a common thing for old people I guess."
"Yeah, we have all the time in the world so in the meantime we can chat together and wait."
As the others began chatting, Victor closed his eyes and looked back into the past. He could remember it vividly, he and his family were travelling around many cities and places to experience various new things which had changed as time passed.
Victor's family had lived a relatively secluded life in safety for a long time and only when Victor was set free and was no longer shackled by the chains of duty- were they all able to venture out into the world.
It was just another ordinary day for Victor and his family, they were out once again and travelling to a new city. In the wild, they were travelling on a wagon which was led by a generous man and his horses.
Everything about the day was filled with a pleasant mood. Victor was chatting and laughing along with his wife who was teasing her two children- a daughter and a son. It truly was a happy time for them- but it was cut short that one day.
"Ah, we- we've got a big p-problem..."
The man leading the wagon stumbled over his words as dread began to pool up inside his heart. The next thing they knew, right in broad daylight- they were being attacked by bandits.
The parents took a peek outside and sure enough, they were all surrounding the wagon. Shouting out demands and threatening them, it was the usual routine for the bandits. But for the family, it certainly wasn't a common experience. The whimpering of the children started flooding out as the mother continued to try and console them- yet even she was worried.
"Hey! You have a sword on you to protect yourself, right? Don't worry, if it's me and you- we can deal with this. Just trust me."
"..."
"Hey, are you still there?"
The generous man who insisted on giving the family a ride, had already run off pathetically in fear for his life while the family remained in the wagon.
"Damn it..."
I guess I'll have to do it myself.
Victor Godwin reached out to the front of the wagon and grasped hold of the sword that was left behind. He clenched it tightly and was confident he could fend off the bandits by himself. He was, after all, very experienced in killing- in the past...
"Haaaah!!"
Victor swiftly charged at one of the bandits and furiously sliced left and across. He sliced upwards and downwards, then in the middle... but whatever he tried, he couldn't land a fatal blow. The bandit dodged rather easily at the confident man's attacks and escaped with only a few cuts on his skin.
"What..."
Victor looked down at his left hand which was struggling to hold the sword properly. Much time had passed since he last held a sword, and in that time he had lost all his hardwork and effort.
[The sword now suddenly felt unfamiliar in his very own hands.]
"I... but why- how?"
The man was baffled by what he was experiencing. Before, any sword he held, he was able to utilise to maximum efficiency... But now, he felt a complete disconnect with a sword.
"Huh? That's all you got? You got me scared there for a second."
"His skills are worth nothing, hurry up and finish things."
The bandit lunged in to take a stab at Victor but Victor snapped out of his thoughts and dodged back with a cut to his chest. The bandit then proceeded to attack again but just as Victor steadied himself, the bandit quickly changed his stance and kicked Victor's right knee which sent him crumbling to the ground.
"Heh, even his movements are so easy to read."
"Be careful."
The leader of the bandit calmly walked over to the man that was on his knees, and then delivered a kick to his face.
Victor screamed and crunched up his face as spasms of pain crossed his face and then fell flat to the ground.
"Don't let people have the opportunity to recover or they'll take you by surprise."
"Ah- yes! Sorry, sir..."
"Now, all of you go and bring all the valuables you can find from the wagon. If there's any other people inside then bring them out and we'll take turns killing them."
The bandit leader instructed the four other bandits and kept an eye out, he keenly watched the road for any oncoming travellers.
"NO!!!" The daughter cried in fear as one of the bandits grabbed her arm tightly and yanked her forwards.
"F-Father!! Where are you?!" The son desperately called out as he crawled up in a corner in terror.
"Hey! Stop... Let us GO!!" The wife pleaded and screamed as she tried to push back the bandits and protect her children.
"Ah, shut up already!"
One of the bandits slapped the little girl in frustration and another had punched the boy in the stomach. The two bandits were then about to kick the children but their mother shielded them and was the one to take the pain.
"Hey!! Let them go!!!" Victor screamed out, yet his plea was pointless. The bandits wouldn't stop...
He could only grit his teeth as half of his face had been drilled into the earth beneath him by the foot of one of the bandits. Victor could do nothing but watch and listen as the taste of the blood within his mouth intensified...
It was the distinct taste of defeat.
[That day, Victor was reminded... of the cruel reality of being weak. The terror of what that weakness had created. And most of all, the excruciating feeling of being imprisoned by fear and invoked with powerlessness.]
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Is this it? Is this how I die?
Without being able to protect my family?
But why? What have we done to deserve this?
No... if there's anyone who deserves to die more than anyone else here, then it's me... but my family are innocent.
Maybe this is all my fault. I shouldn't have retired from my duty- If I hadn't, then they would've still been safe and under protection. We were safe in the royal capital.
All I wanted was for them to experience what the world had to offer, that's what they wanted too...
But maybe I was wrong.
Freedom... I shouldn't have searched for it. Without it, everything would've been fine. God, please tell me...
[Just where did 'I' go wrong?]
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"Mr Godwin? You're not thinking about that day again, are you?"
"..."
"I've told you time and time again, there's no need to be so grateful to me."
"Ah- but..."
"I just arrived there by chance and even though I fought off the bandits by myself, the other guards who were patrolling along with me soon came to help and take control of the situation."
"Even so, if you hadn't been there then..."
"I know, I know~ but remember this. You were the one who was there to help, guide, and train me to become stronger. If you hadn't helped me in the past, then I wouldn't have been able to save you that very same day."
"..."
"Therefore there's no need to constantly feel indebted to me. It's also because of you, that I was able to save your family. Your kind act was the reason I was able to confidently stand and fight for your sake."
"I..."
"You need to move on from the past and I'm sure you know that yourself."
"I suppose... you're right."
...
"So... how about this, if you can sell us the boat that Sebastian wants for about... 150 copper crescents- then that should be the end of all things."
"Hmm..."
The old man glanced towards Sebastian and then back at Cynebal. After a short while, he sighed and made up his mind- then got up from his seat.
"All right. Consider it a done deal."
Cynebal looked at Sebastian and then towards his daughter and smiled.
"Yaaaay, haha!" Scarlet was the first to break the silence and cheered out loudly."
"Not too loud, my little girl..." Cynebal put his hands on his ears after hearing Scarlet's radiant voice.
"Ah, whatever Father- Isn't this great, Sebastian!? Finally! You can get what you've wanted all this time!!"
"Hahaha~ yeah. Thank you... so much, Mr Godwin." Sebastian laughed at Scarlet who was beaming with joy and then gave his thanks to the old man.
"Whatever... You sure are very lucky for many reasons, I'm sure you know that."
"Yes."
"For being close with Cynebal and for being in an unfort- Ugh, nevermind."
Cynebal then handed 15 silver crescents- the money that he held within a pouch over to Victor.
"Hmm, silver eh? Sure could come in handy since all I get from my other clients is copper..."
"15 silver crescents... that's worth 150 copper crescents, right?" Sebastian asked curiously.
"Yeah, 1 silver crescent is equal to 10 copper crescents- and if you didn't know, 1 gold crescent is equal to 100 silver crescents." Cynebal gave a simple and basic explanation.
"Ugh, I'm not too good with money and numbers..."
Scarlet's brain fried at merely hearing 'money' and 'numbers'. She was smarter than most children but her one weakness was 'numbers'.
"Umm, Mr Godwin- can I ask another favour of you?"
"Haah?"
"Would you be willing to take me on a ride on that same boat you’ve sold to me, a few days from now?"
"I don't mind but-"
"1 silver crescent."
Sebastian took out a silver coin from his pocket and placed it down on the table dramatically.
"Hoho~ Well, you sure are prepared for all this. Your efforts are admirable, little boy."
Gathered at the table outside, the group enjoyed the pleasant weather under the evening sun.
"Now that I think about it, Mother should be back from work by now." Sebastian's mind wandered towards his mother as he glanced at the evening sun.
"Yeah, you should be right." Cynebal replied.
"Well then, I'll be heading off back home now. Don't want to worry Mother pointlessly." Sebastian got up from his seat and then said his farewell to Victor and Cynebal.
"Alright then, we'll leave in a bit. I'll see you tomorrow Sebastian!" Scarlet gave an enthusiastic wave goodbye as Sebastian departed down the hill.
...
Haah, almost back home now. I wonder what Mother is doing right now? Maybe, preparing food for us to eat...
*knock* *knock*
...Hmm? Why isn't Mother opening the door? Is she not back, yet?
"Mother?!"
Sebastian pushed the door and then it slowly opened.
Oh... it was unlocked. That's odd, usually Mother would lock it.
"Mother, I'm ba-"
...
"Mother!!"
After fully opening the door, fear and worry grabbed the boy's heart at the sight that lay before him. There on the floor, Sebastian saw his mother lying on the ground fully unconscious...
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I wonder when exactly this all started. But, one thing for sure is that... I never really wanted to become like this. Someone that pretends to be happy and keeps secrets.
Yet as each day goes by, I find it harder to reach out to someone and tell them what I've really been feeling. The secrets I've been hiding all this time... I don't have anyone to confess to- I don't have anyone to confide in.
But... if I do reveal these secrets, then I'll risk everything. The people closest to me may be harmed, and even those who I've kindly spoken to may turn against me. No... they definitely will, and they'll definitely be after my life- and my son too.
I have myself to blame but what I did in the past was undoubtedly the right action. As a result, I was able to see my son smile again, and he would no longer have to be in pain... Nevertheless, this all goes back to me and my meeting with that one existence who was revered by many- but now is hated by everyone...
'The Exiled Witch.'
- Sylvia Quent, a kind mother who keeps secrets.
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["Tell me... Why do you fight? You have no hope in winning. It's pointless to try. So don't forget this face. Don't forget this fear.
I assure you, 'Ruler of Demons'.
If you back down now, you will be glad that I spared your life."]
- The Exiled Witch, the supreme being to have single-handedly brought an end to the hundred years of bloodshed in the Great War of Avalon.