Side story

So the cat 9 kid and the HR meeting.

It had been a couple of days since the. last package had come in and no more new shelves had shown up just yet, but one thing had come on to the schedule and it was a meeting and was right before the end of the day. And it just said HR inbound.

Larry Trevor and Bob were basically screwed and they knew it. So they went over all of the things that they had screwed up and they had gotten the handle back and they had put it on a door in the warehouse so that they could use it. But they made a really cool little connector so that it would slide into a piece of metal and unslide when they didn't want to have it active. And they even got a little crappy safe from the front. mounted it on a bracket. and put in a code that only the three of them knew. So that only the three of them could use to handle or any other special item that needed to be like that. So they had themselves set up a little more security. So that looked good. Trevor was going to get screwed about the chocolate bar. but he thought, well, it was supposed to be a thank you. So he went and paid with his own money and he bought two chocolate bars and he bought them and he said I'm going to give these to you if there's a problem. But here's a chocolate bar. And I'm going to hold on to another chocolate barn queso is an issue with HR going. I'd like to replace the chocolate bar.

Trevor. asked Larry what? to tell them about selling off the equipment, the compactor. And Larry was well, it was our property. So the new one we will say out of respect belongs to them. So whenever they leave, they can take the compactor with them. If it's something special, we don't have to deal with it. Abyssko can deal with it. And I don't really give a **** So let's leave that up to them. So just this is so weird. We need a place to be able to dispose of the crap. And if it's going to keep turning it into magical crappy items maybe they can give us something that'll just nullify everything that goes in there. And then it's just a normal compactor. Like all we can do is ask, right. I was thinking about this and I didn't know if this was smart or dumb.

Bob looked over and went. That's actually pretty good. Well, that's I vote yes to that too. Trevor's like, I like that one.

They were all in Trevor's office at the time. that the HR person was supposed to arrive and it was honestly something out of a horror flick. The lights flickered a bit and then you could hear it in the rafters like this is a drop ceiling in our above area office. It's like little office above the work area below. and above the drop ceiling you could hear something moving and it was big all of a sudden the ceiling tile on the other side of Larry's desk where someone would sit right above it, moves out of the way like it just gets picked up and moved. Then all of a sudden, a cat 5 cable starts spooling down from the ceiling. It was absolutely nuts.

It wasn't until. it had unspooled maybe 100 feet. Two 100 feet, but every once in a while you'd look at it. It looked like it was getting thicker, and I know cat 5 cables got one diameter of inner cable and cat 6CABLES different. Wonder what the diameter of a cat nine cables got to be. And then the top of the the cable of the end of the cable. Whatever you want to call it being straight up and down all the wiring just kind of melted together into a snake with. a little raspberry screen on it. And I mean, the company in his name is Raspberry, but it's like just a little screen. No, it's it. And it just had eyes. And it was. And it was just looking at you. and everybody was frozen. Absolutely solid

They were absolutely terrified. They had seen a lot of weird **** but this is the first sentient cable that's come down. And as it had made enough of it, turned itself to look like a solid object with eyes that you can see on a screen. And it also had the ability to use emojis. So this was creepy as **** Yeah, I don't even know what to say. But the voice that came out of the screen very much scared everybody. This is a transcript of the conversation that happened at this meeting.

C9k. Also known as the cat 9 kid.

“ Good day. I am called the cat 9 kid. Management has sent me down here to review 3. employees, Trevor, Larry and Bob, From what I can see Bob being the most senior person here. Oh, no, that's Trevor. Ok, so Trevor's the boss here. No, no. Larry's the boss here. Now” as the cat 9 kid was looking over some sort of digital information that only they could see.

I apologize, gentlemen. I have to make sure I know who I'm talking to. Can I ask which one of you is Bob?

Bubble looked and just raised his hand and said, that's me.

Bob would like to thank you and would like to apologize to you because you have actually passed all of our tests so far. The only issue we had is that you didn't get your welcome package. So as an apology for that, a new welcome package will be sent. And this time I asked them to put certain items in it that should help you in the warehouse. You are doing great. And if you have an issue with any and I'm going to say this broadly because I have been watching and learning in Waldo loves you guys. If you come across any insects or creatures that don't belong back here, say something immediately and we'll get a house cat that will guard the back here for you. Every once in a while stuff comes through that we just got to make sure you guys don't get in trouble for finding as long as we can get rid of it before it. Yeah, more or less let us. know. And don't forget to keep urine security light and security baton on you at all times. Bob, when? you're on duty. Of course. Um, I have nothing to say if you don't mind. Can I have the room? I'm going to have a talk with Trevor and Larry.

Bob, having a little bit of a backbone just said, do you mind if I listen? I need to understand what's going on here more than I need the job. So please, I'm hoping you're OK with me being a part of the conversation going forward. So maybe we all don't make other mistakes.

The cat 9 kid had been listening enough to know that this is probably what Bob would do, and absolutely the cat 9 kid was big on getting teamwork going and making him the bad guy here kinda was the right thing to do. But if Bob wanted to be here, he'd have to play it down a bit. He didn't. Want to scare Bob. Bob was kagg enough and doing a great job. It's just Larry and Trevor need to understand. this was not going to fly going forward

Not not a problem. Just hang me back in the office here. I need to have a talk with these two. You can listen. Just don't interrupt the. ok, the cat named Kid asked Bob.

Sure. Thank you. And Bob just found the couche in the back and justice sat down.

Okay, Larry Let's start with you. since you've been here. you helped to destroy one package. And it was a very rare one. And from what I can see, it's already what's left on your desk. Have you figured out what this is? Have you guys understood what type of test this was and how you failed it? Like I'd like to understand what you think went wrong and what was done incorrectly. The cat 9 kid asked and turned his head to look at every one he talk to in a fast poshion very robotic even being made of soft cables.

Larry I thought about this a lot, so he just worked on the speech and he gave it” We had failed in multiple ways. First and foremost, we should never, ever deal with anything until we can read the labels properly and we had not been able to read the labels properly at that point. That label would have informed us not to really touch it and just keep it safe as what it needed to be done at the time. We didn't properly have a safety area where we could have locked it up. We will be resolving that. After that, springing in the higher ups, who then gave out orders. I should not all have let them do that. They have. every right to deal with the front of the office, but not the back here. That is our responsibility. And if it comes the head office versus you, that's how it'll come down. And then I will ask you if you cancel the contract, then it'll go back to head office to deal with. I believe that's the proper procedure here. After that, we shouldn't have ever given it to the FBI. We should never have opened it, and we should never, ever have done any of those things after that. And that's where we failed. And so the first one is, how do we read? all the packages. Like, I think that was in Bob's. Thank you. Package or welcome package. So is there a way like a pair of glasses or a book or something that we can use a scanner so we at least we can figure out what we're reading because we got nothing.

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Larry is a smart guy. He laid it all out, but then answered with a question, hoping to kind of dilute the amount of anger coming his way.

The cat 9 kid knew this trick. I'm not. He'd work with Larry on this one. He. needed to play good cop with Larry and bad cop with Trevor.

This has already been brought up by Waldo. And to have him do your job for you would not be accurately correct or proper. So in the package that Bob will be getting as a welcome, there are 3 badges. You put those badges on and you take them off at the end of the day. You can put them in the lock box that you guys just talked about. But while those badges are on, you are employees of the company and you will not be breaking any of the laws because the badges will tell you if you're about to break the law. If. you have trouble reading or dealing with something, it will tell you. And we already know that somebody has snuck something in and it wasn't someone from this office. We have to find this little item before it causes this havoc in here that Larry is going to be your job. when the package comes and a day or so Is that reasonable

Larry, knowing that. this was a fool's errand if he didn't have enough information. But he also didn't know what the hell the badge would do. So it's kind of like, do I ask more questions now and look like an idiot or do I wait for the badge to come and then maybe talk to Waldo and get some information that way? Well, Larry didn't want to put his foot in his mouth, but said. Mr cat9kid. If I have to ask any questions, may I go to you, or should I go to Waldo once I find the object we're looking for?

Larry was very happy with the way he said that, just so that he could ask the right question without looking totally stupid.

Larry's monitor came to life and. a happy :) appeared on the screen and said I'm Waldo. I'll gladly help you and then the screen just turned off.

The cat 9 kids whole body then slow turned towards Trevor and just now Trevor We have to have a talk about stealing and destruction of company property.

Trevor. you destroyed Bob's. Thank you, chocolate bar. which would've allowed him. to enjoy. more treats in life.

Before the cat 9. kid had even finished saying those words. Trevor had pulled a chocolate bar out of his pocket and thrown it at Bob and said catch. Sorry.

The cat 9 kid didn't even miss a beat. And said” Sold company property through the secondary company. which wasn't allowed. Those were also company property for Bob and yourself. actually, so one of the pairs, I really don't give two **** about, but Bob's pair. It's not a big deal, but it is a pattern here. You're also part of the group, but not responsible for selling off the compactor. The incident that the socks caused in the front of your office, we don't give 2 **** about. Good luck with the crack heads. We saw the video. It was hilarious. Waldo has that playing and repeat in his brain. Ha, to see the void claim 1 is always a good day.

But the thing that got me actually sent here was the moment the bathroom handle was taken. But I also understand that it was causing a problem. And you thought it was the best solution at the time, and it was brought back. Did you fix the problem? Because I hear it's back, but that problem is gone. Please explain how you fix the problem. And why you did it?

I took it home because I have a farm and I thought I could put it somewhere there, didn't use it. Honestly, if it's not allowed to be here, I thought I could take it home. That was me stealing for that. I apologize. Please ask me to donate some of my time and I will gladly make it up. But I brought it back and we put it back. It's now back, but. what I did is on the other side of the handle was an outhouse that had never been chemically treated. So what I did is I came to the local store and got septic system chemicals and used a very, very, very large amount of them in there. And then the smell tapered down. It's still not the greatest, but it's a lot better.

The cat 9 kid hadn't actually thought about that. and quietly asked Waldo to pull up information on Planet Thalamas

All of a sudden, the cat 9 kid and Waldo started looking at each other's monitors and having sparking conversations between the two of them. Everybody was now watching them. Because it went from being a quiet little nothing conversation between the two of them on a private channel to being, oh, what the hell did you just find type of holy crap? They're both getting excited.

Waldo in the other room on the big board. You heard Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding And it was new orders coming in.

The cat 9 kid swivel to Trevor and. said these orders that are coming in right now are to be done after your shift normally to night. And that means if you're driving to a store to buy something and bring it back, so be it. All receipts are to begin to Waldo and you are to scan them in through your company. Other companies scanner fax or we saw there. We're going to get make sure that wallows got a copy of everything and you will be reimbursed. But this will be for the incident, but I'd like to let you know you. may have just fixed an entire problem that we've had in the company for about 50 years.

Fifty years ago, we opened a retail outlet Where your bathroom is located but the void got mad and now that planet is all screwed up and I know that's not the greatest words, but let's put it this way. It's in the void. No, it's not looking at the void. It's in the void. It's not good, but it's it's perfect because it's totally useful Except for that horrible smell. I. just informed a small group of individuals there that you had a chemical that could help reduce some of those issues. Those things you heard are them already putting in orders where we don't even know the name of the product you used. So we're going to be sending you across the street, out into the front area, wherever it is. Grab those chemicals, bring them back, and we're going to scan them in, put them on the orders, confirm the orders, and hopefully that'll all be done before the end of the day. And then you can start packaging up orders for shipment for tonight. We'll. call me. We'll call it even. We will. still pay you, but you are going to work a little overtime tonight. How about that? We'll even make it that proper. Because I can't get mad at you for the Dryad plant. And I'm going to tell you guys now what it was out there. There are some very special creatures that there aren't anymore of them all around. What was there was a Genesis seed for the dryad species was one of maybe 30 of them left And you guys nuked it. If you guys had been in a certain type of environment in the right spots with the right energies and all 3 of those jars were smashed and combined, they could have brought back a sentient plant. And we haven't seen one of those. And at least what Waldo, how long has it been since we've seen one of those? Waldo chimed in with 1820 years.

Yeah, that was a good spring. All the fruits after that were so delicious I forget what having taste buds is like, well, on this, I'm always around if you need me, call Waldo. Keep them out of trouble And, yeah, no more stealing from the company. Boys and with that. the cat 9 kid, like a spring, just shot straight up out of the ceiling into the area above, and was, you didn't hear it land or anything. It just was gone. Then all of a sudden the ceiling tile slid back. That was creepy as shit

Trevor took a couple minutes after that to kind of unsphincter his sphincter.

Trevor just said I have. work to go do. I'm going to let you guys be. Let me know when this care package comes in. And Bob, once you figure out how it all works, teach me please. I'm going to be a bag of **** toMorrow. Enuf said…

Bob took his last Break. and Hammond Trevor ran over across the hardware store to get the big, expensive chemicals, all of it, and they just basically Trevor had a credit card and he's like, I'm going to be putting on the credit card right now. and they bought three pallets of this stuff. They just bought as much as they could be for Trevor's credit card got stopped.

With them rushing, they had it all done within 25 minutes. Their little vehicle piled up with the stuff and oh, it was so much, but they had it across the street in a couple of minutes, and they had it to the loading dock, and they started working with. Waldo, which was now actually talking to them in a little bit away. There's a little chat menu on Bob's computer.

Waldo wasn't going to turn them in for working on. Trevors project together. Waldo loved that they were becoming a small little knit family. He had done this job so many times, finding the good ones was hard, finding the good ones that didn't mind breaking the rules was even harder and finding the good ones that didn't break the rules and then get murdered dead. Turn it into mush slime or kissed by the void. Would be new for him But what type of fun would it be if you didn't see what happened to the people or they worked with?