“What were they laughing about?” Nua asks Ava again when we settle into the fire forum that evening after our meeting with Shan, and Ava just shakes her head, smiling a little. “Don’t worry about it.”
Penny grumbles, but he can’t say much because he’s the one carrying the boxes of food. He hands one out to all of us, and then sits on the ground next to Bayan, and opens his mouth. But before he can speak, Jimmy and Sina come into the fire forum too, their pinky fingers looped around each others’. I look up at them from where I’m sitting in between Nua and Ava, and say, “You guys hungry?”
“I wanna talk to you,” says Jimmy, looking at me, and I take a deep breath, but smile slightly. “Okay.”
I stand up, and I go with them. They’ve heard, probably, that we’re leaving soon. I won’t let them talk me out of it. I don’t know if they even think that they can. But they don’t even take me to their tents; once we’re a little ways away from the fire forum Jimmy stops in the track, turning to me, and says, “I ran away from my wife when she told me she was pregnant.”
I stare at him. After a few seconds I remember to blink. “What?”
“I have a baby,” he says evenly. I’m aware that my mouth is open, and I say, “I, you, you never told us this, did you ever tell my parents?”
“No,” says Jimmy quietly. “Because I didn’t know if it was mine. But apparently, she took a test to see which one of her husbands it was, and it was me, and she was looking for me, after I ran away.”
“That’s why you came here,” I breathe. “That’s why you ran away again.”
He nods. “And Sina was turning eighteen. But I, she was gonna find me again, and the agency would just give me back. But I want to know. I want my baby.”
“Jimmy,” I say softly, and he shakes his head, glancing over his shoulder. “Marissa and Nerev have their baby, and it’s a boy, and they’re gonna take care of him and he won’t have to do what I had to do. My baby’s probably a boy too, and it’s not fair, and I don’t want him…”
“Okay,” I say gently, and I look at Sina. He doesn’t say anything, but he looks worried. He just looks at me, and I say, “What do you want us to do?”
“You’re going back,” he says softly. “You’re going back up.” He rubs his lips together, and then he says, “I know you’re going to look for Abigala, and your parents, and I hope they’re okay. And I know you’re going to try and find a place for Marissa and Nerev. So I know you’ll be busy. But can, can you just look? At least?”
“That’ll be Ava,” I say, glancing between him and Sina. “That’s Ava, I don’t, I don’t know what I can do…”
But he looks at me, helplessly, and I take a deep breath. “Can I tell her?”
And Jimmy sighs, and closes his eyes, and opens them again. He nods. “She’ll be able to help.”
“Yeah,” I say softly.
“Fellner,” says Jimmy quietly, almost too quietly for me to hear. “Alya Fellner. She’s a real estate agent.”
He smiles a little as he says it, but he doesn’t look happy. He just looks small. He’s a father, he’s fifteen years old and he has a child and Ava is twenty years old and Keol should be twenty-four and they should have a child but of course not, of course they never did but Jimmy has. I nod. “Okay. I’ll tell Ava. Don’t worry about it, okay?”
His eyes ask how it’s possible for him not to worry about it, and I smile a little, and gesture for us to start walking again. “I promise. We’ll let you know what we can find, we’ll keep you updated through Sloan. And if you need to talk to someone once we leave, go to Haywood.”
We’re back by his tent in just a few seconds. Their hands have gone from just touching pinkies to fully gripping each other, and I see his knuckles go almost white. Sina hasn’t said a thing this whole time, he’s almost eighteen or he is now, and Jimmy’s just fifteen, he was fourteen when he came to us, but it’s definitely been a year and some months since he did, so his baby is home now, with his wife, Alya Fellner, the woman he ran away from. And he’s right. It’s not fair.
“What’d they want?” asks Penny when I go back to the fire forum, and I shake my head, picking up my box of food to sit down again. Ava just raises her eyebrows, and Penny grumbles again. “No one answers me.”
“Don’t be a brat,” says Ava, taking a bite of her food, and Penny sticks his tongue out at her.
“What did they say, though?” asks Ava when we finally retire for the night, heading back to our tent, and I sigh, opening the flap for her. She takes off her sweater when she goes in, and I follow Nua too, letting it close behind her. “Jimmy has a kid.”
She looks over at me, an expression on her face that I don’t understand, and then she takes a deep breath. “Shit.”
“Yeah,” I say softly. “He knows it’s his. He wants to know if it’s okay.”
“Alright,” says Ava, lying down on the mat. “We can look into it.”
Just another thing on the long long list of things to look into. We’re going back for Abigala, mostly, I think. But we’re also going back for Ava, because even though she said it was nothing I know that Nua and Bayan and Penny are worried about her stitches. And we’re going back for my parents. We’re going back for Nerev and Marissa and baby Julian, and we’re going back for Shan, and everyone down here in Tent City. And we’re going back for Jimmy’s baby, too. We’ve got so much to do and no time to do it, and everyone’s acting like there’s nothing wrong with the entire plan. I can’t be the only one worried about everything, can I?
“What were they laughing about?” whispers Nua again into the dark. They think I’m asleep, and I don’t know why. They both usually fall asleep before I do at night, because I stay awake to think about everything happening in the world everywhere, and they’re both much heavier sleepers than I am. But I’ve come to find that they have a lot of conversations at night, when they think it’s just the two of them, and this is one of those times when they don’t think I can hear. I know, because Ava sighs, rolling over, and says, “You don’t give up, do you?”
I hear him shrug. Ava half-laughs, half-sighs, and says, “It was mean. I was making fun of Aber.”
“Ava,” says Nua disapprovingly, and she laughs a little. “I know, I know, it was mean, don’t tell him, they won’t tell anyone either, they were all making fun of each other and I was there.”
Nua just sighs, but I can tell there’s a smile in it, and I don’t know if I should be offended or not. Ava just moves a little bit, and her hand brushes against my arm. I don’t think the lantern’s on and I don’t know if her eyes are open or not, so I don’t know if she sees me smile.
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The next day she spends with Shan and Sloan, and then she goes to say goodbye to Marissa and Nerev and baby Julian. They talk for a long while, about what she’s going to do when we go back, and Nua and I sit with Penny in the fire forum. We don’t say much, but it’s not awkward. Penny has Nano with him, and he sits on the ground, the dog’s head in his lap, and he strokes her head, plays with her ears, drums his fingers on her nose. He’s too lost in thought to do anything else. He’s going home.
Nano is with him still the next morning when we all gather in Shan. It’s late, around 6 in the evening, but we slept until past noon. Then I went to see Jimmy one last time, and then Nua and Ava and I came to find Penny and Bayan and Nano the big black dog in the center of Tent City. Sloan has her dog Chloe with her too, and Ava looks at the animals when we go in.
“We’re taking the dogs,” says Penny without any introduction, and Ava stares at him, and then looks at Sloan. “Really?”
She shrugs. “Why not?”
“How are they supposed to get out of here?” asks Nua incredulously, and Sloan laughs. “Oh, they go up for walks all the time, we have a little pulley system for them.”
“Mother won’t like dogs in the house,” says Ava, and we all look at her. She looks back at us. “Isn’t it obvious? That means of course they’re coming. Let’s go.”
Penny grins, rubbing Nano’s head. “Come on, girl.”
Shan is waiting for us outside, and one by one they come to each and every one of us. Sigrid grins at me, rubbing my head, and Nova smiles at me too. “You’ll be alright.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, and then Alis puts his hand on my shoulder. “If you ever need to run away again, we’ll still be here.”
“Not for long, hopefully,” says Ava, and Alis looks at her with a grin. And then Haywood comes to me, and he gives me a hug. “You’ll be all right.”
It’s the same thing that Nova said, but he said it in a way that makes me think of my father, and tears almost well in my eyes before I remember why we’re leaving. We’re leaving to go find my father, for real. And we’ll be back for all of them, for everyone down here. Ava’s been talking to them about that, a lot, and Sloan is going to figure out a way to come back and keep communication between us. And Ava is going to help them get out of here, so they don’t have to live the rest of their lives underground.
I take a deep breath, and he pulls away, his hands on my shoulders. I take a deep breath. “Take care of Jimmy and Sina.”
“We will,” says Haywood with a smile, and then glances over at Ava. “You take care of her.”
“Yeah,” I say softly, and he squeezes my arms, and then lets go.
Sloan leads the way again, but this time we go down the southern track. The tents dwindle, becoming sparse, and only a few people are around to watch us pass. I walk next to Nua, and Ava walks next to Penny. The dogs run ahead, chasing their shadows from the lantern Sloan is carrying as we go, a parade down the tunnels under the earth.
I can smell the sewage river before I can see it. There aren’t so many tents in the southern track, and that must be why; it reeks. Nua wrinkles his nose, looking over at me, and I just make a face. Sloan sees when she glances back, and she grins. “Almost there.”
Her voice echoes off the walls, and Chloe barks. It reverberates down the tunnel, and I feel a chill run down my spine. Ava hangs back a moment, slipping in between Nua and I. She takes one of our hands in each of her own and squeezes.
And then we find a rift in the road. Sloan stops, and we go up to her, looking down. In the dim light of the lantern I can’t see much, just brown sludge flowing in the canyon, and I wrinkle my nose. “That’s disgusting.”
“Yup,” agrees Sloan, setting the lantern down on the ground. She snaps her fingers at Chloe and says, “Sit,” and the dog does. Nano does as well, wagging her tail, and Penny grins, petting her head. “Good girl.”
Sloan goes over to the wall of the tunnel. It’s gotten narrower as we go, just like the one we came in through, and I see her pick up a plank of wood. And then she stands it on its end, and it falls, and lands with a thud in the dirt on the other side of the flood. She turns back to us. “Walk the plank.”
Ava grins a little, taking her hand, and steps up.
I feel anxiety bursting in my stomach, and Nua takes my hand again, watching Ava hold her arms out to her side. The plank is fairly wide, she doesn’t necessarily need to balance, but still I feel fluttering in my gut until she steps onto the ground on the other side. And then Penny goes, and then he crouches on the ground on the other side and whistles. Chloe and Nano stand up and one after the other trot dutifully across, and then Sloan gestures for Bayan. He goes, and then she turns to us.
“Go ahead,” says Nua quietly, and I take a deep breath, and I follow.
Ava reaches her hand out for me as I approach her, and I take it as I step off the plank, relieved to find solid ground under my feet again as Nua starts across. Of course, we’re going to climb a ladder in just a few moments, and I take a deep breath to calm my nerves as finally Sloan comes across too. She jumps onto the ground, brushing her hands together, and Ava squeezes mine.
And then we’re going to the tunnel to the surface, and we’re climbing, Penny goes first and Sloan goes last and we go one after the other up the metal rungs, and then finally, finally, finally, I’ve been waiting for this, Penny moves the manhole cover out of the way, and sunlight comes flooding down over us, and I take a deep breath again, and then keep climbing.
The sun is setting. Ava’s gone ahead of me, behind Penny, and she reaches down and helps me out of the tunnel when I get to the top, and then reaches down for Nua, too. I rise to my feet, tilting my head back towards the sky. There are trees around us, but even through the leaves I can feel shafts of warmth washing over me, I’ve missed sunlight, I’ve missed fresh air, and I see the look on Penny’s face when I look over at him, too. When Ava pulls Bayan out he goes to him and takes his hand, and he smiles.
Sloan went last, because she had to raise the dogs out of the hole too. She puts them one by one in a cloth sling, and then pulls a rope on a pulley to get them out. Nano goes first, and she jumps out, bounding over to Penny. Chloe comes up a few moments later, and she leaps out as well, and then Sloan comes up, and fixes the manhole cover, and says, “We’re a few blocks away.”
A few blocks? I haven’t even looked around to where we are. We’re in a wooded area, not Miss Lilly’s woods, though, I don’t think. But Sloan knows; she whistles for Chloe, and then jerks her head and starts to walk. Bayan looks up at the setting sun too, his hand still wrapped in Penny’s, and Ava takes mine and Nua’s again, and we follow. After a little bit of walking, the dirt under our feet turns to concrete, and we’re on a sidewalk. I’m not paying attention to where we’re going, there are too many thoughts in my head, I’m thinking about Ava and about Bayan and about Abigala and about Haywood, about my parents and about Jimmy and about the baby and about Miss Lilly, and then we’re at the train station.
I actually feel a bit of relief in my stomach even as Ava drops my hand. It’s a place I recognize, a place I’ve been to with Ava by my side, and I see the same look in Penny’s eyes too. I came here the same day I found out about him, and now I’m with him, him and Nua and Bayan, and Ava too, of course, but this time Keol’s missing.
I look over at her. She’s holding her fingers as if there’s a cigarette in between them, and then she cracks her knuckles, looking around. “Well, let’s sit down, I suppose.”
“We’ll wait,” says Sloan. “Someone will be here soon.”
There’s not many people here, and none of them pay any mind to us. We must be a strange crowd of people parading into the train station, but everyone has seen something stranger in the city. Ava sits down with a sigh, leaning her head back, and Penny sits next to her. “Now what?”
“Now we wait,” says Ava, not opening her eyes. “Like Sloan said.”
So we wait. I sit down next to her on the other side, and then one by one Nua, Bayan, and Sloan eventually sit down, too. Ava has her eyes closed still, and I can see her breaths come slow and even. They do not hurt her anymore, I don’t think, because of Keol’s heart in her chest. She does not have any bandages, but I can see the scars traced into her skin.
Once again, I don’t know how much time passes, but a little while later, after a few trains come and go and people get on and off, a woman approaches us. Sloan sits up a little straighter as she comes, and I know that this is Miss Lilly’s person. She’s dressed in all black like the people who took me and the boys away, and she comes to us and stands in front of Ava. “Ms. LeGatte.”
Ava opens her eyes and looks up at the woman. She sounds annoyed when she says, “Yes?”
“Your mother has been looking for you.”
“I know.”
“Come with me, please,” says the woman, and Ava raises her eyebrows. “Really? That’s it?”
The woman raises her eyebrows too. “What else do you want me to say?”
Ava thinks a moment, biting her lip, and shrugs. She hits her knees with her hands and rises to her feet. “You know what, I don’t know.”
“They’ll be coming too,” says the woman, jerking her head to all of us, and Ava grins. “There it is. Alright, let’s go. I want to take a shower.”
God, I want a shower too. We follow the lady to a sleek black car like the one that Ava called for us the day we got trapped in the protest, Penny’s protest. Ava gets in, and we all pile in after her, and a moment we start to drive. I wonder if this is the tamest kidnapping this woman has ever done.
Ava leans her head back, closing her eyes, and I watch her. She’s sitting in between Penny and Bayan, neither of whom have any expressions on their face. Nua is drumming his fingers on his knees, and Sloan is just running her hand over the leather of the seat. I think about Abigala. We are going to see Miss Lilly, but we are going to see Abigala, too, and my parents soon, hopefully.
I can feel butterflies in my stomach, and Nua keeps tapping on his knee until I reach out my hand to stop him. He looks at me, and takes my fingers in his own, and he squeezes a little bit. Ava is watching, and she smiles a little when I look up at her again.
It doesn’t take that long for the car to slow to a stop, and I suddenly know exactly where we are. The air just feels familiar, foreboding, and I do not like it, but the door opens again, and Ava takes a deep breath and then climbs out of the car. Penny follows, and then Bayan, and then Nua and I.
And here we are. We’re home. We’re standing in front of the huge beach house, and Ava looks up at it, this prison Miss lilly built all for her, and then the front door opens. Penny jumps, but the woman on the front steps of the house just stares at me. My breath catches, and her lips part into a smile. She whispers, “Aber.”
I feel my heart stop for a split second.
“Abigala.”