I stared at the display, dumbfounded. Normally when one takes a dive out of a third story window that means their headache is over. Not a glamorous end or something I'd normally have considered an option, but of the possible outcomes I'd been expecting, waking up right where I'd started the day was not one of them.

"Shit."

That's right, folks. Not only was I stuck with reincarnation bullshit, whatever cruel god had come up with this had thrown in time loop mechanics on top of things.

"I don't WANT to continue, asshole."

I tried clicking the 'x' to close out but the popup remained in place. My options were apparently to go throughout my days with a creepy holographic display hovering in front of my face or pick something.

"Yeah, fine, whatever."

Once again I was treated to several 'packages' that seemed mostly designed to improve my "Female Lead" qualities. General stuff: become prettier, become more loveable, gain a minor spirit companion. Then there was a final option of just putting them into stats. Recommended stats were shit like 'Beauty' and 'Grace' but now that I was here I already knew where I was dumping this nonsense. I hit the 'Strength' button and then confirmed when it popped up with the message .

Now, dear reader, I'd already been through quite a rush of sensations and emotions since showing up in this ridiculous new world and don't think that the looming freakout about having my gender identity ripped asunder wasn't coming due but let me tell you... the rush of having my frail body suddenly suffused with newfound strength was something else. Whereas moments ago it had been difficult to even pull myself out of bed, I now practically sprung out of it.

It pissed me off.

Honestly, I wanted nothing to do with this system nonsense. Yeah, I get the idea of easy powerups that quickly allow you to overpower the world around you but I always found that shit to be dumb. More power to you if you like it but not for me. More than that, though, was the fact that it was implicitly trying to force my behavior a certain way. It wanted me to play the game it was setting out for me and I damn sure didn't want to play.

I was still as tired as I'd been when I woke up the first time, but I mustered a bit of willpower this time to stay awake. The sun hadn't risen yet and there didn't seem to be anyone wandering the halls, so I figured now would be a good time to make my move. I grabbed a random dress from the closet and shredded it to make some bandages for my legs. Still hurt like hell but wasn't as bad as it had been after the beating Mirielle had given me. With that out of the way, I threw on the least ridiculous dress I could find and crept out of the room.

Stealth had never really been my strong suit. I'd been a large guy who lumbered more than he crept so this new state of affairs was an interesting change of pace for me. Renee's body wasn't particularly nimble, but it was light and could move pretty well now that I'd used the magical video game mechanics to boost my physical attributes via the power of... something.

I'll admit that i didn't really have a plan yet. I didn't even have the foundations of a plan and was mostly wandering to get a better bearing on this house that I was trapped in. The main issue was that I had absolutely no frame of reference for a building this big. It had no convenient "You are here" displays and I couldn't for the life of me figure out the layout. I passed the same marble bust three times as I wandered before finally taking a right turn down some stairs and finding myself in the kitchen.

My stomach growled low and angry at the presence of food. I'd been aware of the hunger gnawing at me in the background but with so much else going on I'd been able to ignore it. Not so much now that I was in a room where it could be addressed. Hurriedly, I grabbed whatever was close: a nasty ass summer sausage that I promptly ate half of. Dear reader, that was a terrible idea.

My hunger satisfied, I tried to resume my exploration but it only took a few minutes for the consequences of my bad idea to start sinking in. Fun fact that you don't really consider when you're starving: the body doesn't really handle rich food all that well when it's been starved for long periods of time. Now, I've had my share of bad drinking nights (Jagermeister, never again), but nothing has ever hit me quite as bad as that summer sausage. My new lady-like frame doubled over and expelled every last ounce of the greasy meat. It was not a delicate process and it was not quiet. Before long, one of the guards that I'd managed to avoid up to that point had found me.

"What are you doing out of your room at this hour, Miss Renee?"

I wanted to make a biting retort of some sort, but that's kind of hard to do when your entrails have tried their very best to become your extrails. Shuddering, I just forced myself to my feet and shot him a glare. He was not particularly moved by it.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

"Let's get you back to your room," he said, not unkindly, but not terribly sympathetic either.

I wanted to put up a fight, maybe to grab his weapon and run away from this hellhole, to do... anything, really. Unfortunately no amount of random stat increases was going to make up for the fact that I was in a nearly broken body that could barely perform basic functions of existence. I let the jackass escort me back to my room.

You'd think that would be the end of it, right? A quick little adventure with some unpleasant consequences. Probably some further humiliation from Leanne and maybe another beating from Mirielle. Not so much.

See, this shitty body of mine was so poorly maintained that that one incident spiraled on me. It was hard to keep anything down at all after that. Not that they tried that hard to feed me well or anything but Leanne did try her best to tend to me, even stayed by my side as things got worse. I swear to god I even caught her sobbing once and apologizing. Maybe not a completely bad egg after all. Not that it did me or her any good. Most everything I remember after that is just flashes of misery, more vomiting, a guy that might have been a doctor shaking his head and then:

The system did not seem impressed with my performance. Good. I shoved that point into constitution to get rid of the popup and thought I'd leave it at that.

"Yeah, hard pass on that," I waved the popup away.

I mean... that's what you always say to such things, right? You believe it, too. Not like you're going to see anything useful in random responses to your behaviors. What was important here was that now I knew I *was* being watched. I was being judged by others who were getting something out of the experience of watching me. It's not like

I'd be so careless as to open it up and get blasted by some stranger I'd never meet. Of course I wouldn't.

Yup, that was pretty much what I'd expected. Not a lot of insight to be gleaned there beyond feeling a bit insulted in spite of myself. Still, it was interesting to know that whatever these viewers were, their behavior was close enough to what I'd seen in my old world that I could probably get what I wanted out of them by changing my behavior. Or, more specifically... not changing my behavior.

I'll spare you guys the next couple of loops because I really went out of my way to not be interesting. I figured that if this was all some sort of game to them, the easiest way to get them to cut it out was to just repeat the same actions I'd done before until they got bored. Unfortunately for me, this mostly involved getting beaten and jumping out a window while Leanne watched helplessly from the sidelines.

The biggest hurdle there was the jump, if I'm honest. Sure, the first time had been easy enough. I was tired, desperate, and thought I was getting out of my shitty situation. It wasn't much on that whole 'sanctity of life' philosophy, but it was going to be a quick solution. Now that I knew it was nothing of the sort, it was a bit harder to do each time. You'd think it would get easier. It doesn't. Knowing that the pain is coming, knowing that you're going to be the one inflicting it on yourself, it builds up. At the end of the seventh loop, I almost couldn't bring myself to do it. I think Leanne even managed to figure out what I was about to do in time to try and stop me, but she was a bit too slow. Again the sickening crunch, again the fading of awareness, again the popup.

Except this time, the popup quickly morphed into... a woman?

"What the hell is your problem?" she snapped at me.

I blinked. Sure, I'd been looking to get some sort of reaction out of whatever was going on behind the scenes here, but I wasn't expecting that reaction to come in the form of a 6' amazon with dark blue hair and a scowl that I found inappropriately arousing. It took a second, but I got myself under control and remembered how pissed I was at her and everyone else involved here.

"What the hell is MY problem?" I practically screamed at her. "What the hell is YOUR problem. Why the fuck am I being put through this trash scenario. Who the fuck are these 'viewers'? Get me the hell out of here!"

The woman tapped her head several times in frustration, looking at me as though I'd just grown a second head.

"How is this hard for you to understand? I thought I'd picked the perfect candidate. You have more than enough genre savvy to get what's going on here, you have had plenty of opportunities to improve your situation. Fuck's sake, all you have to do is beat a mean-spirited maid and one evil stepmother. That's like the basics of the basics. Then you can go about having a wonderful life with a wonderful and wealthy husband. Sure, he's a bit rough around the edges, but you soften him up and everyone's happy."

Now it was my turn to look at her like she'd grown a second head.

"Why the FUCK would I want any of that? I just want to go home."

"Yeah, well... you can't. Sorry. You should understand that you wouldn't be here if you weren't already dead in your old world. Standard package. We only get to pluck souls from the multiverse, not actual living beings. I tried to pick a form that would be easiest for you to get a handle on. That 'system' stuff is all the rage now."

I'll admit that the thought had crossed my mind. I had been focused on other things for the most part, but it had been hovering in the back of my awareness that I probably had to be dead for whatever was going on here to be happening. It still took the wind out of my sails to hear it.

"So you're saying that this is it? This is my life now?"

"Yup. No backsies so you might as well make the most of it, right?"

"No."

"Beg pardon?"

"I'm not going to 'make the most' of this shit. I'm not going to dance for the amusement of whatever freaks you've got watching this. I'll keep doing the same damn thing until you let me out of here."

"AAAAARGH!" she yelled, startling me. "Why do you have to be so difficult? This should've been a simple story that kept folks engaged just long enough to move on to the next thing. But no, you've got to be an asshole. Well, good news, buddy: this is your last shot. Fuck up again without getting a patron and you're done."

"A what?"

"Patron. A viewer invested enough in your existence to keep supporting you and providing you with a portion of their powers. You know, constellation shit."

It was another subgenre that I hadn't bothered with much, but the idea was pretty simple.

"So, as long as I die without one of these patrons, that's it?"

"Yup. Moment of truth, buddy. Are you so interested in being a stick in the mud that you'll waste your last chance at existence or will you finally try and do something interesting with your life?"

I ran for the balcony.