Date: November 25th 2016
Time:
3:15pm
Location: Starbucks Coffee in Shoreview, MN
Zack and his dad, Doug were taking a break from all the post Thanksgiving shopping.
Zack ordered his usual four shots of espresso with cold milk to the top as his dad Doug shook his head and said, “That is still the most ridiculous order I have ever heard.”
Zack smiled at the familiar jab from his dad and replied, “No sense in starting the machine if you ain’t going to thrash.”
Doug laughed, “sure use grandpa Ivar’s argument to justify extreme caffeine abuse.”
Zack and his dad sat down at a table near the window to people watch. This was one of their favorite things to do on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Zack took a sip of his espresso and said, “Dad, do you remember Dr. Wilson from the University of Michigan?”
Doug thought for a moment and nodded, “The communication theory professor you really liked during your undergrad?”
Zack replied, “Yup that’s him. He called me yesterday. Apparently, he accepted a position as a tenured professor at the University of Minnesota starting this spring semester.”
Doug said, “huh, small world.” As he absentmindedly stared off into the crowd.
Zack continued, “He wants me to apply for their graduate school in communications. It is a direct to doctorate program where you get your master’s as you earn your PhD.
This caught Doug’s attention. He had been long worried about Zack’s future. He knew college had been a bit of a challenge for Zack.
Zack continued, “The graduate students are fully funded and provide a small salary.”
Doug took a sip of his tea and said, “Wow that sounds like a great opportunity, what do you think about it?”
Zack thought for a moment with an unsure look on his face, “It sounds exciting but terrifying. School was tough, if I had not started taking meds for my ADHD I would never have finished undergrad. I am not sure I have the chops for a PhD.”
Doug nodded and listened. He knew Zack was verbally processing and needed a little time to work this out.
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Zack continued, “The program at university is a top five program in the country. I am not sure I can even get in. They are going to get the best and the brightest applying for the 7 spots open next year.”
Doug responded, “Well, are you happy with what you are doing now? Is this a career track you like and see yourself doing for the next decade?”
Zack shook his head, “No not at all. My job is fine, but I am not inspired. I need a challenge that piques my interest. Something that captivates me.”
Doug nodded suspecting that would be Zack’s answer. “What about communications and this program would captivate you?
Zack responded with a glint in his eye, “I really loved the advanced interpersonal and communication theory course in undergrad. It did not even feel like studying or work. I love figuring out how people work and what motivates them. In the end it all comes down to how we communicate.”
Doug said, “sounds like you have your answer, if you do what you love you will never work a day in your life.”
Zack nodded pensively, “I, I think I do. Honestly dad I am not sure I can do it. I have struggled in the past with school. I don’t think I could stomach failing at this.”
Zack sighed and said, “It would be a huge challenge, seven years of schooling is no joke. Not making good money and living like a poor college kid again. Working hard not to embarrass myself in front of brilliant people. I just don’t know if I have it in me.”
Doug focused a long second on Zack then he said, “there are many reasons not to take up a challenge in life. Sometimes the timing isn’t right. Sometimes the challenge asked you to do something you don’t have the skill set for. Or sometimes the challenge doesn’t appeal, and the outcome isn’t worth it.”
Doug took another sip of his tea, “Zack listen to me, you know what is not a reason to avoid a challenge? Being afraid of failing. It is the adventure and the uncertainty that make challenges so exciting. Sure you are jumping into the deep end of the pool. Sure there will be some pretty big fish in this pool. That is no reason to avoid the pool.”
Doug paused and said, “Listen Zack, do you know what the most exciting part of this opportunity is?”
Zack shook his head.
Doug replied, “We have not even come close to seeing the best you have to offer this world. Undergrad just started to scratch the surface. You are just beginning in life, and you have no idea what you are capable of. I believe you are capable of so much more. I am your dad and of course I have dad goggles on. But I understand people and I know you. There is so much talent that has yet to be discovered. Your ability to hyperfocus and problem solve are the exact skills you need to be successful in grad school or anywhere in life. The transformation you went through in undergrad, particularly after you got help for ADHD was amazing. You are just getting started.”
Both Zack and his dad were smiling as Zack considered his dads words.
Zack responded, “I must admit the last year of undergrad was pretty great, it was the first time I was truly excited about school. Who knew learning could be fun.”
Doug said, “In my experience we just don’t know what we can accomplish until we get to work. When you enter grad school you have no idea what doors will open for you. All you need to do is take the risk and do your best.”
Doug pointed out the window to the world, “Out there is our future. We make it one decision and action at a time. If you work hard and make the world a better place. Out there you will find meaning and happiness. Go out there and take on the challenges of life, show it what you are made of. Your story and your happiness are out there, go find it and make it what you want it to be!”