Roland ... Spadros? “I don’t understand.”

Then I stared at Gardena, aghast.

Roy Spadros had violated Amelia, forced her to bear little Pip, terrorized and hounded her. Her entire family had gone through anguish and turmoil for a decade because of it. “Did Roy Spadros hurt you? Is that what’s going on?”

Gardena stared at me, mouth open, her demeanor moving from shock to fear, then to a horrified realization. She pressed her hands to her mouth for several seconds, and her eyes reddened.

My heart pounded. I hoped she would trust me. And I decided if Roy had hurt Gardena, I would go to Roy’s house and kill him. I would concoct a pretext, get past his guards and cut his throat. I didn’t care who saw, or what happened afterward.

I’d wanted to kill him for ten years, and this was as good a time as any. Such a monster didn’t deserve to live.

“No, Jacqui,” Gardena said, “I’ve never been allowed near Roy Spadros without many guards, and ... and now I understand why.” She looked away. “I understand many things now.”

Gardena sat motionless as conversation from the other tables swirled round us. “I think I would take my life rather than bear a child of his.” She took a deep breath, hesitating, not meeting my eye. Then she faced me. “Roland is Anthony’s son.”

I feared that this might be the case, but never let myself believe it. “Why?” Why hide it? Why lie?

Gardena rounded on me, but she spoke in a whisper. “Why? Why? Because I wanted a child! No man was ever good enough for my father. I feared ending up alone, unwanted, unloved, never allowed to have children of my own.”

But Tony loves you. “Tell me how this happened.”

“I was almost 20! I’d been forced to turn down ten suitors in one year, men I would’ve been happy to wed. I saw a copy of the Golden Bridges — they called me ‘the Diamond spinster’—”

I felt a surge of anger. Those men tossed sticks of dynamite as if they were toys.

“— and I felt humiliated, Jacqui. I felt desperate. I didn’t know what else to do.

“I knew Anthony wanted me. At the Grand Ball, I took him to a closet, and he lay with me ...”

Five years ago, I thought. Tony would have been 17. Was I at that Grand Ball? I couldn’t remember.

“But my father caught us, and only my father’s fear of Roy Spadros kept him from killing Anthony then and there.”

She put him in such danger! “How could you have toyed with my husband? And why did you not marry him?”

“We were both afraid,” Gardena said. “I’m fond of Anthony. More than fond. I was prepared to marry him. That’s what I thought would happen. How could my father do otherwise? He would be forced to.” She gave a small smile. “That’s how Cesare was born, to hear the servants tell it. My grandfather insisted they marry when my mother was found with child.”

Then she sobered. “But Anthony feared his father’s wrath. I shouldn’t have blamed him. He was so young. Your betrothal was already announced and he felt unable to break it. He feared his father would kill me and take our son if he learned of him.”

This explained much. “Now I see the Clubb Family’s plan.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed. This would hurt. “Your son is an heir to Spadros and Diamond. All Lance needs to do is make Roland love him, and the Clubbs have three quadrants. The Harts could do nothing.”

I recalled the news article in the Golden Bridges a few months ago about the meeting between Mrs. Regina Clubb and Mrs. Judith Hart at the Clubb Women’s Center. This was why Mrs. Judith Hart was so upset. Mrs. Clubb must have brought her there to brag of their victory.

Hurt crossed Gardena’s eyes. “Jacqui, Lance isn’t like that. Could it be possible that he courts me because he loves me?”

“Does he know about Roland?”

“Well, yes, but —”

“Lance may be the Blessed Floorman Himself, Dena, but his parents most certainly are not. They’re behind this.”

Gardena stared at her table settings in dismay.

The waiter approached. “Would you ladies like to order something to drink?”

The enormity of it all fell upon me like a rock. Tony had a son I knew nothing about. When had he planned to tell me? Would I have gone to my grave not knowing?

“I don’t think so,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I must go.”

“Jacqui,” Gardena said, “please, wait ...”

I glanced at her brothers; they glanced back at me. I could just imagine the exchange: pay up or something might happen to your son. And she went along with it. “No, Gardena, I’ve heard all I wish to.” I gestured at the table. “You may put whatever you like on our tab.” I felt bitter. “That seems to be what you’re used to.”

The waiter turned away, embarrassed.

Gardena stared at me, stricken. I felt ashamed for speaking to her in this way, angry at her, angry at everyone. I left her standing there in the restaurant as everyone watched me go.

* * *

At the carriage, Honor faced away, talking to the driver, and jumped when he realized I stood behind him. “Oh! I’m sorry, mum. Did Miss Diamond cancel?”

“That’s none of your concern,” I snapped, immediately regretting it at the shock and hurt on Honor’s face. “Forgive me, it’s been a trying day.”

Honor took on a mask rather like Tony’s, staring straight ahead. “Yes, mum.” After helping me inside, he closed the door.

The carriage started off. Filled with guilt, shame, anguish, I drew the curtains around me and wept.

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Tony lied about everything. He didn’t marry me because he loved me so much; he was forced to marry me by his father. He clearly would rather have married Gardena.

He lied as to why he wanted a child so badly — was it pride? Was it another way to hide that he already had an heir, that he didn’t even need me for that?

I’d been trapped at Spadros Manor all these years for nothing!

I wiped my face with my handkerchief. Tony loved me. He could never be that false.

Perhaps Gardena lied to cover up some other misdeed. After all, she did kill her own grandfather. Perhaps Roland wasn’t Tony’s son, yet he was being tricked into believing the boy was.

Honor knocked before opening the door, and he led me to the porch in silence. Pearson opened the door. “Good day, mum.”

“When is my husband expected home?”

“In an hour, mum.”

After Amelia got me changed into my afternoon dress, I said, “I wish our rooms to be undisturbed until my husband arrives. When he returns, please ask him to come directly to my room.”

Amelia gave a sly smile, then she sobered. “Yes, mum.”

Once she left, I went to my sideboard, filled a waterglass with bourbon, and took a long drink. I gazed at the photo of Acevedo Spadros II, who Roland — and Tony — looked so much like.

Somewhere in Tony’s belongings would lie clues to the truth.

I waited until Amelia’s footsteps were down the stairs, then went into Tony’s bedroom. I locked the door to the hall so no one might enter his room taking me unawares. Then I began to search. Closets, pockets, boxes of memorabilia ... a large locked drawer next to his bed. Retrieving my picks, I went to work.

Before me lay a small lifetime’s worth of information about a boy’s small life: portraits, framed and stacked. Doctor’s notes. Pictures drawn “to my Daddy.” A curl of black hair in tissue.

I wanted to weep all over again.

At the bottom of the pile, I found a birth certificate for Roland Anthony Spadros. A square portion of the right upper corner was cut away. I’d never seen a birth certificate before, so the cut-away portion puzzled me.

I moved Tony’s tea-table near the drawer. Then I placed the photos upon it, the larger in back, the smaller in front. Underneath everything sat a locket of a young Gardena holding baby Roland in her arms. This I placed in the center, my heart heavy.

I heard the door to my rooms open. “Jacqui?”

I sat on his bed. “I’m in here.”

Tony came in slowly, face wary, flinching at the open drawer and the table full of portraits.

I turned the table so it faced him and spoke with a calm I didn’t feel. “Who is this boy?”

Tony’s face went white. “How dare you go through my things like this!”

“Who is this child?”

“That’s none of your concern!”

“Why are you sending money to Gardena Diamond?”

“What I do with my money is no concern of yours.”

“My lawyer tells me it is entirely my concern.”

“Y—your lawyer?” Tony looked as if he might faint.

He never thought I would find out.

“To answer the questions you should be asking: One, I was made aware of certain transactions between Spadros and Diamond Manors; Two, I went to Gardena Diamond —”

Tony took a step forward. “Jacqui, I can explain —”

This made me even angrier. “How could you possibly explain this?” Disgusted, I said, “And three: Gardena has told me all.”

Tony’s demeanor became that of a man terrified by some sudden thought. He whispered, “Not here. Please. We don’t know who listens.” He rushed to put the portraits away and lock the drawer. He tried to take my hand, but I shook it off. He never trusted me. Not once. “Let’s go out to the gardens, Jacqui. Please.”

So I followed him out to the gardens, then turned on him. “She told me all, Tony. All that you have not told me in the five years since you asked me to marry you. That you love and desire her. That you never wished to marry me —”

“That’s not true —”

“— but felt forced to for fear of your father. And that you have a son you never told me about, even when Gardena begged you to.”

Tony stared at me in horror.

“Did you think I would harm him? Did you think I would reveal him to your father? Or was I not good enough to know about him? All the times you’ve chided and harassed me, had your men follow and spy on me. You were so worried about what I was doing, what I kept from you, and yet here you’ve kept the most important thing in your life from me. When were you going to tell me? Would I have gone to my grave, not knowing? Would I learn from some tabloid, some chance meeting —”

Tony flinched. So he knew I saw Roland on Market Center.

“— and learn the truth? Why am I so untrustworthy in your eyes? What defect have I that I can’t know the bonds of love my husband has, that I have to learn of his son from his mistress?”

He went pale. “Jacqui, it’s not like that —”

“Not like what? You don’t spend time with your true family, speak Italian with the woman you love and her son? You never even tried to teach me!” That hurt almost as much as anything else. “Perhaps you have some secret hideaway you use those times when you say you’re out late tending to the Business.”

Tony said, “I’ve never seen Roland, Jacqui. I wasn’t even allowed to name him. And Gardena’s never allowed me to touch her again.” His shoulders slumped. “After the dinner, a letter came with the last photo: ‘This is all you’ll see until you tell her’.”

I felt as if cold water had been thrown upon me. So Gardena had blackmailed him, there at the last. That was why Jonathan was so angry at her on Queen’s Day.

I drew him to the arbor, where two chairs and a small white table stood. I sat across from him, leaning my arms on the table. “Tell me what happened.”

“What happened? I was young, and stupid, and too much in love.” Tony sounded disgusted with himself. “Several weeks later, I slipped my guards, just as you do. The Diamonds captured and blindfolded me, then told me Gardena was with child. They said I must marry her or sign their paper — but what choice was there? I couldn’t risk harm coming to her. I was barely of age, terrified of my father learning, so I consulted no one. But I must pay, and there’s nothing in the paper as to what I get in return!” He sounded close to panic. “I took them to a secret court after the dinner; my lawyer provided every argument he knew. But it’s no use. I can’t see my son, and if I try I may be prosecuted.” His voice broke. “My own child! I see pictures of him, and he of me. Or so they tell me. Who knows what he thinks!” He put his head in his hands. “He must think I abandoned him. That I care nothing for him. It’s unfair. It’s unjust.”

“Well,” I said. “This is a situation.” The Diamonds took advantage of his youth, his fear, and played it. “But now that I know, perhaps Gardena can persuade her father to relent.”

“He hates me, they all do.”

“Not Jon. And not even Gardena. She said she’s fond of you.”

More than fond.

Oh, gods, I thought. She loves him too. “She understands now why you refused to make things right.” I reached across the table, held his hand. “So this is why the nightmares.”

Tony shook his head. “I know you hate me, Jacqui.”

I let go of his hand. Did I hate him? I felt crushed, angry, abandoned, betrayed. “You lied to me.”

Tony went on. “You’re right. I lied. You should have known everything before you agreed to this madness.”

A pang shot through me: I had never agreed to any of this.

“I gave money to them instead of keeping it safe for my lawful heirs.” He gave me a small sad smile. “Which I believe you’ll give me someday — if you’ll let me.” He paused, suddenly downcast. “You have every reason to hate me.”

I leaned forward, cupped his face in my hands. “But I don’t hate you for this.”

I had other reasons to hate him; sometimes I did. But I didn’t want to think of my forced marriage, my meaningless life in this gilded cage, my murdered friends, his threats. I didn’t want to think about Joe, who I had to see under false pretenses so he wouldn’t be killed too.

I must never speak of that: Joe had to be kept safe at all costs.

“In the Pot, none of this would mean anything. You’re providing for your child. You sacrificed your dearest wishes to protect Gardena and your son.”

Tony stared at me, mouth open. “Y—you’re proud of me?”

I nodded.

He took me onto his lap. “Oh, Jacqui, I love you so much.”

I laid my head on Tony’s shoulder; he wrapped his arms around me. And I thought of Joe’s words two months earlier:

“So he defies his father. He takes you and leaves Bridges. And then what? Are you going to stay with a man, sleep with a man, who you feel for only as a brother? Why?”

I felt as if I woke to a strange land with no guideposts.

I waited for Joe’s leg to heal. I wanted to stop the men who kidnapped David. I wanted to learn who killed Marja. But the real reason I stayed? Fear of Roy Spadros.

At first I didn’t understand what Roy sharing a humiliating secret meant. Roy’s only motivations involved causing pain. But then I realized he caused me pain by sharing his secret. He’d cause Tony and Molly pain if I revealed it. Either way, he’d won.

My marriage to Tony was a torture set by Roy many years ago. But the torture had unwittingly extended, not only to Gardena, but to her entire family.

I could no longer play this game. There was only one way everyone could be free.

I had to leave.