Tony said, "Was the child alone? The little boy?"

I opened my eyes and sat up, turning towards him. "Oh, no, not at all. He had a young nanny with him, a girl of maybe eighteen. She said her name was ... oh, yes, Octavia Diamond. She had skin a bit lighter than mine, and long blond curly hair! She looked nothing like a Diamond. I almost didn't believe her."

Tony gave a short laugh. "Probably a distant cousin, perhaps one 'under the table'. I have cousins that look more like Diamonds than some Diamonds do."

I thought of our Inventor, Maxim Call: wiry and brown, with those piercing blue Spadros eyes.

"She said they were from the country, so you're probably right. The boy, now he looked a Diamond, to be sure." I pictured his little face. "He looked very much like Jon and Jack, now that I think of it. His name was Roland."

Jonathan Diamond was my best friend. His decidedly unwell brother Jack, who threatened my life every time he got the chance, was Jon's identical twin. I peered at Tony, squinting at the lamplight's glare. "Jack's middle name is Roland, isn't it? Could the child be his son?"

Tony snorted. "Hardly. I don't think Jack Diamond has much regard for women, not in that way. And Roland is a very common name among the Diamonds."

"Yes, I suppose it must be. It's astonishing how much the boy resembles them, now that I think of it. But I suppose he could belong to one of their older brothers, or a cousin." I sat up next to him. "He must be an upper; the girl called him 'Master Roland.' I don't recall anyone using those terms to speak to a child until I came here." It was a puzzle, and I enjoyed such things. "Yes, Octavia must be a distant cousin; she and the boy didn't look much alike. She was pretty, though, and the boy seemed happy."

"Happy," Tony said. He sounded wistful, and I recalled his lonely childhood, forbidden all playmates but one after his older brother's assassination. "Was the boy well cared-for?"

"Oh, yes, the nanny seemed quite attentive. I loved the way he skipped after her as they went. They were going to see if a calf had been born yet, if I remember correctly."

Tony leaned back, closing his eyes with a deep sigh. I rested my head on his shoulder, remembering myself at that age, back home in the Pot. How happy I felt, playing in the ruins of old Bridges with my best friend Air and my Ma.

I would give anything to see them again.

Tony put his arm around me and held me until I fell asleep.

Blood dripped down the walls as I went up the stair, one step at a time. My friend Air, still looking as he did when he died ten years ago, his seventeen-year-old brother Herbert, and fifteen-year-old Stephen lay moaning and twitching on the steps, their wounds horrible to behold.

I held something in my arms that grew heavier with every step. I looked down: Joe gazed up at me.

The room was hot. When I glanced behind me, Jack Diamond, head shaved and dressed in white, crept up the stairs on all fours. Even though the stairwell was awash with blood, his clothes and hands were spotless. He drew closer behind me, and my terror grew as I tried to flee. I moved so slowly ...

Jack Diamond grabbed my ankle. "I have you now."

I shrieked and came awake, tangled in the covers.

"Jacqui?" Tony sat up, sounding more sleepy than alarmed.

Our night footman Blitz Spadros rushed in, candle in hand, his face glowing orange in the candlelight. "Are you well, mum?"

My heart pounded; I felt bathed in sweat. "A dream." Tears of humiliation filled my eyes. "I'm sorry."

Tony flopped backwards onto the pillows. "I hoped maybe — maybe they were gone. You didn't have any for a whole week." He smoothed my hair, kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry."

Blitz gave us a small smile. "I'll leave you then." He closed the door behind him.

I clung to Tony and began to cough, to cry. "I thought maybe they were gone too." That one was bizarre, so unlike the others, which had up to now mostly been memories.

"You think the doctor has something to help you sleep?"

I shook my head in the darkness, discouraged. This had been my life for the past ten years. "I don't know."

I never returned to sleep after my nightmare. All I could think of was that I would see Joe again. Yet horrible visions of how his injuries might appear ran through my mind.

It felt like forever before I left home to visit the Kerrs.

The Kerrs lived in Hart quadrant, which was in the northwest part of the city. To get there, we drove past the slums and the Spadros section of the Pot (hidden safely from view by wrought iron and tall hedge) onto Market Center, an island in the center of Bridges. We then drove around the Plaza, over the bridge, and onto the close-laid red brick streets of Hart quadrant, where Joseph and Josephine Kerr lived with their grandfather.

The day was overcast and chill, and the air smelled of wood smoke. When my carriage arrived at the Kerr's home, my day footman Skip Honor helped me to the sidewalk. And I thanked him, as I always do. It was considered unseemly for uppers to acknowledge the servants in any way, but I didn't care. I treated them as people, even though ten years ago they despised me as much as anyone else for being a Pot rag.

No one met me out front, so I went up the brown stone steps and knocked on the wooden door. Marja, a middle aged woman with brown hair, opened the door, tears rising in her eyes when she saw me. "My little J-Bird," she said, hugging me tightly.

The summer afternoon sun streamed orange onto the far wall of the cathedral while Ma and Marja cooked. Josie, Ottilie, Poignee, Treysa and Joe sat with me, playing dice on the floor.

Grief swelled inside my chest. "I had nothing to do with Ottilie's death."

"I know," Marja whispered. She let go and stood before me, squeezing her eyes shut. "They was shot in the head and thrown in the Pot like trash." She glanced up at me. "Did you know?"

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I shook my head, horrified.

She stared into emptiness. "Leave the city. It's not safe."

"Why? What's going on?"

She glanced around. "Not here."

"Marja!" Josie's voice from the top of the stairs startled me. "Jacqui is Mrs. Spadros now. She doesn't have time to speak with servants. Mr. Kerr is going to have something to say about this."

Marja cringed. "Yes, mum. My apologies, mum."

I went up the brown wooden stairs. "Josie, don't blame her. Her daughter just died. I was bringing condolences."

"You're too kind," Josie said, but she sounded annoyed. "She's been reprimanded more than once about this."

I stared at Josie, appalled. "Marja has been like a mother to you. Why are you treating her this way?"

Josie's beautiful face grew stern. "Do I tell you how to treat your servants?"

"No, but —"

"Then don't tell me how to treat mine."

This wasn't like Josie at all.

"Jacqui," she said, as if explaining to a child, "we're Kerrs. Not only that, we're Pot rags. Everyone here hates us. We have to be like them if we're going to survive. Marja can't grasp that."

"No you don't," I said. "We're better than this."

Josie shook her head, and her stern demeanor faded, her face pensive. "Our situation is very different from yours. " She patted my hand. "Be grateful." Then Josie smiled. "Joe's waiting for you."

Something was terribly wrong here. Why would Josie treat Marja so poorly? Surely she could help Marja understand without being cruel to her. Had Josie's worry for Joe become too much for her to bear? Heart pounding, I followed Josie, afraid of what I might see.

Josie took my hand. "I'm grateful you've come. He's spoken of nothing else since I told him you were to visit." She brought me down a hallway paneled in brown wood to a door.

Joseph Kerr had always been, to me, the most beautiful man in the world. Golden brown skin, green eyes, brown hair, he lay in bed wearing white flannel pajamas. He turned his head towards us and smiled.

Joe had the most glorious smile, the smile of a very small child. In it held pure unabashed happiness, the utter joy of life. Every time he smiled, I fell in love with him all over again.

"Oh, Jacqui," he said, "am I glad to see you."

Joe's right leg was in a cast, his left, strung up in a brass mechanism with many gears which held it aloft. Pulleys and weights attached to his left thigh, which lay bare. His left pajama leg was cut away, revealing the lower end of a well-muscled, badly bruised thigh. His right arm was in a burgundy and white sling. Many cuts and bruises adorned his face, along with a large bandage on his head. His left hand he held out to me. "My sweet Jacqui, you're finally here. You look just as beautiful as I remembered. Come to me."

I hurried to his side, sat on the chair beside his bed, and took his hand in both of mine. "Are you in pain?"

He lay back on his pillow, languid as a cat. "Some, but the doctor says it'll pass. Josie tells me I'm fortunate to be alive."

I nodded, mesmerized by his eyes.

"How are you, Jacqui? I've missed you so."

I took a deep breath. The room smelled of antiseptics and clean linens. "I'm well." I glanced at the contraption he was placed in. "Will you be well enough to come to dinner?"

"The doctor says in another week I can be free of this, if all goes well. Then I can be wheeled about like a babe in a pram." He chuckled, then his face turned solemn. "Josie told me not to race that field, Jacqui. You mustn't blame her." He gazed up at his sister, who stood beside me. "I understand now that she is much more intelligent than I." He turned to me. "I will follow her advice from here henceforth, to the letter. I promise."

I squeezed his hand. "I'm glad to hear you laugh. I feared you would be downcast."

"No," Joe said. "I feel good." He gave a contented sigh. "Especially now you're here." He paused. "Tell me more of the dinner. Who else will be there?"

"Let's see ..." my eyes lost focus as I went over the list. "Jonathan and Gardena Diamond, Lance Clubb and his sister Kitty, Dame Anastasia Louis —" His hand spasmed, as if he felt a sharp pain, but when I glanced at his face, he seemed well. "— and Major Blackwood. And of course, Tony and I, and the two of you."

Josie said, "I look forward to it."

"Josie, would you fetch a blanket?" Joe said. "I feel a chill."

Josie left the room, closing the door behind her.

I had a sudden thought: Joe and I were alone, in his bedroom. He was partially clothed, and I held his hand.

I recalled Tony's outrage and terror for my reputation when I went to the Apprentice's area and the Magma Steam Generator "unescorted," even though our Inventor accompanied me, a man old enough to be my grandfather.

This scene was probably not what Tony had in mind when he allowed me to come here.

"I only have a little time," Joe said, "so I will be brief."

He sounded so serious that I felt afraid.

"I'm so deeply sorry for the time I've been away from you. Words can't describe how much I grieve over missing these years of your life. The torment you must've endured at the hands of the Spadros Family! And I wasn't there to comfort and protect you. The thought tears at my soul."

I felt astonishment, and hope.

"I think of you every day. I dream of you every night." He gripped my hand. "I — forgive me, but I feel this is my last chance. I must speak, though you never wish to see me again.

"The night you were taken, I was taken too. Taken here, beaten daily, told to do things I didn't understand. I still don't understand most of it. We're not like these people." He paused, glancing away for a long moment, then gazed into my eyes. "I long for you desperately. The only thing which kept me sane was thoughts of seeing you. But when I've been allowed near you, it was in the presence of others. I feared to speak or show any hint of my regard for you. I was in terror of what might happen. This," he held up our hands, clasped together, "is utter bliss. Yet I fear I've lost you."

I gaped at him, stunned. "I — I'm ... I'm —"

"Yes, I know. Married. Three years now." He lowered our clasped hands to the bed. "You're married. Bound to another for life." He closed his eyes for several moments. "What traps these quadrant-folk lay for each other." He paused, then turned to me. "Did you come to love him? Did you give yourself gladly? At least tell me that."

The coldness of the gun behind my neck as Roy and I stood outside the chapel ... the terrifying click of the hammer ...

I stared at my lap.

... the horror as Tony undressed me that first time ... Roy's words repeating in my mind "Make us believe it, now and for all time, or you'll be dead."

Enduring that night had taken everything Ma taught me.

"... find a place to go inside, if you truly can't abide him," Ma said long before, when it became clear what was to happen to me. So that night, I did ... and eventually, I found Joe.

I shook my head.

"Do you love him now?"

Tony's gentle touch, his loving words, his determination to stand against his father ...

My first impulse was to say yes.

But I couldn't say that with Joe here, his precious hand in mine, saying he loved me. Tony never made me feel like Joe did.

No. I don't love him. Not like I love you.

"I don't know," I whispered.

Joe closed his eyes and pressed my hand to his lips. Then he opened his eyes. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Jacqui. I don't know what you should do. All I know is — all you need to do is say the word and I'll be there."

My confusion must have shown, because he said, "Have you forgotten our last night together?"

... how we kissed, the way he smelled, the way he touched me ...

I smiled, the warmth of his love flowing through me. "How could I ever forget?"

"I meant what I said, Jacqui." His voice dropped to a whisper. "As soon as I'm well, I'll take you and we'll leave Bridges, lose ourselves in some other city. They'll never find us." He paused. "If you'll still have me."

If I would still have him? I had almost given up hope. "Dealer help me," I whispered. What was I to do?

"I have to get out of here," Joe said. "I can't live like this anymore. And I can't — I won't leave without you. My grandfather is a monster. The things he's done —" Joe shook his head. "He doesn't know you're here. We plan to tell him you came, then left when you heard I was unable to come down. He would kill me if he learned I told you these things."

I stared at him, horrified. "Why do you stay?"

"Why do you stay?" He turned his head away. "I know of Roy Spadros. I've heard of his brutality, his torture room, his disregard for life." He turned his head to look at me. "What keeps me from despair is that he threatened your home and family, and that you're a woman who values her kin. I have to believe this is why you stay in such a terrible place."

I nodded. "I tried to run once. Roy threatened to kill my Ma, burn the Cathedral with everyone inside, even the little children, should I step in the Spadros Pot again."

Joe stroked my fingers with his thumb, then he sighed. "My grandfather threatened you, Jacqui. He vowed to kill you if we had any contact — this is why I never came to you, never wrote you. He vows to kill you every time I make a wrong step. The thought torments me." He gazed in my eyes, and I saw the fear there. "I live in terror of some harm coming to you because of me. He knows I would rather die."

I squeezed his hand in mine and kissed it, then held it to my cheek, my heart full.

My mother-in-law Molly had spoken of a threat directed at me. I couldn't fathom who would target me besides Jack Diamond and another of my enemies, Judith Hart. Now I had one more name for the list. I kissed Joe's hand, and gazed into his eyes. An electric feeling hit deep in my soul; our hearts touched, and became one.

Josie came in carrying a blue woolen blanket, and spread it over him. "Grampa will be back soon."

"Jacqui," Joe said, "you must go. He must not find you here."

I nodded, and rose, still holding his hand. "I'll visit when you tell me it's safe."

Josie grabbed my hand and led me to the door. I glanced back, and Joe mouthed, "I love you."