Ouchie?!

What was that just now, Author?! I sure am a bit clumsy, but not to the point where I deserve this kind of treatment! I am, you know, God! I have it rough too!

I bet that Narrator has been going around throwing pesters about me. I will have a little conversation with him about defaming his superiors!

And to you, my dear readers! I have returned, indeed! Worry not, I am perfectly fine, and so is the balance of the universe! I know you missed me a lot, and I missed you too! I bet the Narrator just, well, narrated the hell out of this story without adding any suspense or comedy into it! Fairly bad, isn't it?

...Well yes. Yes, I... Alright, alright, I get it! You like the way he tells the stuff! But I'm still better than him! Don't forget it, you lot!

Hmph. Fine.

Let's see now, where did he left this...?

Oh. I see. Ahem...

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So there he was. Eugene, and the orc. And his suddenly found instincts. And the orc's shield. And it's sword... Well, it was actually a bunch of stuff.

Redo.

So there he was. Eugene, and company. Everything looked as if the world was standing still. His instincts were more than enough to achieve his first goal. Namely, not getting eaten by a giant pig. But the other problem, eating the giant pig, couldn't be solved just yet. He had no way of dealing damage to it, after all.

"Now, now, now... What to do?"

A sudden warning shot out. Fall back. Or fall dead.

He chose the former. Jumping backwards in a way that put James Bond to shame, he avoided the orc's squashing feet attack. Well, looks like a pig is still a pig, no matter if he carries a sword and a shield. I could pretty much see him thinking 'if cutting n' bashing doesn't solve it, biting n' squashing sure will!'. Poor bastard. Throwing away his makeshift -and so much- warrior gear, the giant meatball decided that he would take this menace as a man... Or rather, as a boar.

Eugene was just fine with it. The more savagely the orc attacked, the easier would it be for him to dodge. Blocking was out of question... Not unless he wanted to end up sprawled on the ground fertilizing the grass, that is.

Don't think he'd be comfortable with the idea, if I'm honest with you! Though, it'd be kinda interesting...

No. MC can't die so fast!

Anyways.

"Let's work into some actual ways to kill this bastard..."

The only weapon he had in hand, right now, was his crystal rune. (Crystal) had two main uses, as he found out earlier with his constant grinding. The first was light reflection, and the second was making sharp edges. With further practice, he managed to mold the crystal into some more useful shapes. He could crystalize just about anything inside his vision field, but he had to stop to cast the rune. Once he had practiced enough with it, he no longer had to draw the rune to make it work. Instead, he only had to think about it's 'meaning', this strange sensation he somehow felt and understood, and it would appear where he wanted it to.

So light reflection, sharp edges, and molding shapes... Well, that's actually pretty useful, don't you think, readers? I mean, put to a good use, they can be used to lot's of stuff.

The word light reflection gave him an idea. Although that's two words, so shame on you for not knowing simple maths!

As the almost literal lightbulb turned on above his head, this little unexistent voice told him to...

"Roll forward? Why would I do that...? Ow, shit!" Instantly learning his instinct was always right, Phane's Bless took over his body and made him forcibly roll... well, forward. Proving that he was a dick for not listening to his instincts, and spending yet another charge of the life-ensuring Blessing for nothing.

Well, that was... not very smart of you, dear Eugene.

"Well, fuck."

Not that there was a point on whining over spilled milk. Valuable lesson learned, he got back to the matter on hand... Namely, his wining strategy.

But for that, he needed to win some time.

"Let's bully this bastard for a while."

Jump. Roll. Dodge. Backstep. Crouch. Every single one of the known -and made-up too- strategies Eugene waited until the fat boar fell victim of his own weight... And the perfect chance came. Looks like it wasn't so sportive after hall, huh?

Anyways.

Making sure he had enough time, started casting the (Crystal) rune. By now, just thinking about the meaning of the rune made it enough for the rune itself to appear, and all he had to do was feeding it with magic power.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

"(Crystal) me up!"

Now, that's some drama I like!

Using his magic crystalization, he made a thin, small shield-like thing around his arm. Of course, he wasn't stupid enough as to think this makeshift crystal layer, almost thinner than a pencil to spend less mana, would actually stop an attack coming from the mad pig. No, he actually had some other plans in mind.

He also used the same rune to crystalize air and turn it into a knife of sorts. A very rustic one, but a knife nevertheless.

Groaning and roaring, the pig raised to his feet. Immediately after, though, something else made it paralyze suddenly.

Namely, the blinding light making a living hell out of his brains.

Roaring even louder, the orc went on rampage yet again. This time, his aim was the unknown source of light. Being robbed of his sight didn't help, though. Were this not a windy day, he'd probably found Eugene using his keen nose. But hey, looks like it was Eugene's lucky day! It was a windy day. So all in all, Mr. Piggy was well and screwed.

What kind of evil wizardry is this?!

"Haha! Behold the power of science, you little fucker!" Using his shield, or rather, his mirror to deflect the sunlight and focus it on the orc's ugly face, making it see just as much as a blind mole inside a volcano the midday of a sunny Sunday. Okay, maybe that was a little too exaggerated. But you get what I'm trying to say, right?

Making use of this temporal hole in the orc's guard, Eugene hurdled his crystal dagger as fast and powerfully as possible, which was about as much as a thrown stone since his Physique stat was pretty pitiful.

The knife sped up as it got closer and to closer to the orc...!

And it missed by centimeters, scratching it's ear!

"Damnit! Almost got it...!" Lament all you can, but for your specs and aim, that was a pretty lucky strike right there. I'm starting to think some other God of fortune is smiling at him or something... But, hey, there's no use to it if you don't hit him!

Again, shame on you!

But, well, one can't stay depressed for too long. Even less in the midst of a battlefield.

"Fine, if I didn't hit it the first time, I'll just have to keep trying." Oh, my! He realized warm water was a thing! Welp, figures.

"(Crystal)!"

Once again, the gold-light drawn rune appeared above him. A new throwing dagger fell from it, and Eugene whisked it away... pretty desperately. It seems constantly aiming the sunlight to the orc's face and avoiding it's rampage at the same time was more exhausting than what I though. Hey, for what is worth, the fact that he survived up 'till now is pretty amazing on it's own!

Not that he would be happy with just that.

"Let's see if I make it work this time...!" Taking aim to the orc's malformed face, he once again hurdled the throwing dagger to it.

The dagger shot full-speed, describing a parabola, augmenting it's momentum, almost completely ignoring the forces of gravity and friction...!

And, once again, almost hit the orc. Almost as in, if the orc wasn't bald, it would've had a free haircut.

"Damnit! What's with this shitty aim?!" Uh, that's completely your fault. Aim is not one of the attributes, so that's supposed to be something you work on yourself, you know? You can't expect to suddenly know how to use a throwing dagger precisely. And, as I said before, the fact that you almost hit the thing in question twice is pretty amazing on it's own. Especially considering it was a moving target.

Not that he would be happy with just that, either.

"Third time lucky! (Crystal)!"

Yet one more time, the golden rune floated over his head. And yet one more time, a throwing knife was crystallized out of the air.

"Hit the target! You've got to protect my mental sanity! My last effort goes with youuuuu...!" With this dramatic shouting, only fitting to the shittiest fight anime, he threw the crystal knife to the orc's face with all his might...!

And miserably failed in reaching it's target. in fact, it missed by far more than the previous shots.

...

"...You've... Got to be fucking kidding meee!!!"

Well, that's a hard blow to your ego, my fried. That was so anticlimactic I almost fall of my chair! You seriously know how to kill the mood, now don't you?

What will you do now? I doubt after that you'd want to keep playing Rishia. Welp, then what's next?

Uh oh, I shouldn't have asked.

"Fuck. It. All." he raised both his hands, forming a new, bigger (Crystal) rune.

What followed next can only be described as savage.

He formed giant crystal spikes, attached to his fists like gauntlets. All the sudden, he looked like Dead C*lls first boss, an it wasn't pretty. Even so, he ignored the pain resulting from having his fists crystalized, and the mirror breaking from the sudden materialization.

The orc stood still suddenly, confused because of the dissaperance of the blinding light. It's face looked just like the cartoon villain's when the superhero breaks it's mightiest weapon.

"Wraaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!"

Screaming like a madman, he ran to the two-legged porksteak with all the might of his not at all mighty legs. Even so, rage worked miracles, and didn't slow down not a single bit. Who'd say the prospect of loosing to a pig would trigger this kind of reaction?

The poor thing didn't have a chance.

Jumping with all the piled up anger, Eugene raised his fist...

With a loud sickening crunchy sound, the giant crystal spike sank into the boar-like skull, cracking it wide open. The victim let out pitiful shrieks of pain, following by an oinking that was slowly fading away. Blood sprawled everywhere, soaking Eugene's pants. Pretty lucky he had taken out his shirt beforehand, huh?

But he wasn't done yet.

"Fuck you." Showing some serious cold-blooded killing instinct, Eugene opened another home in the orc's already pretty fucked up head. The result? A strange combination of crystal shards, brain matter, blood, sweat, eyeballs and only I know what other stuff. If each thing was disgusting on its own, well, just try and make a picture of that vomit broth. Wait. On a second thought, don't. You don't want to mop the floor, do you?

"(Crystal) you fucker."

You gonna keep on?! Isn't that thing pretty gone by now? I'm sure it's dead already, and this is a bit...

Another knife? Why now of all times?

Eugene took the knife, held it up ceremoniously... And sunk it between where the orc's eyes should have been.

"Yep..." Looking somewhat satisfied, he got back to his feet. He swiped the sweat in his brow.

"...looks like a bullseye to me"

...

Bwaghaahahahahahahhhhh...!!!

He...!!! He literally did that to convince himself?!!! Fucking hilarious!!! Hahahahahhh...!!!

Ok, I've got to admit I wasn't expecting that...!

He saw a new system notification at the the corner of his vision field. He would check it all later.

Right now, he would just sit and enjoy the pure air...

"Oh shit. I'm covered in blood..."

A s it smelled like hell too. Fucking disgusting. He would have to fix that soon.

Current Goal: finding a forest finding a lake...