SO, why am I with also inbred sister? Also why am I not physically deformed? I was kind of expecting that.
I'm lost, are we thinking about your physical deformities or why you're currently travelling with your sister?
Both, keep up midget.
For your sister it was because she insisted on going with you, then you proceeded to use wildfire to try and escape and then Flare wouldn't stop crying over how you abandonned the only family who could tolerate your existence and then you got annoyed because she continued doing it for a while. You then asked me for a way to knock her out which I informed you of the astral rejection field which the dwarf king used. We then went to the tavern again to ask the bartender if he knew where to find one and he got suspicious because you disappeared along with the adventurer book which your sister so kindly informed him that you took it since she was in there. You refused to give it back and burnt the place down, killing not just the bartender but also a bunch of adventurers and innocents. Your sister was horrified and also in awe because of the power you used. She somehow survived because she had super-elf healing abilities and Flare said she would shut up if you travelled with her. Because you lost your only lead on getting an astral rejection field for now you decided to just agree with her and just travel with your sister until you find the spell.
That good?
Great, if only Flare could keep up.
"Where did you obtain such power?" My totally tolerable sister decided to ask. We were in a very comfortable silence; I don't see why she had to go and ruin it.
"It's time I told you the truth..." I am going to have some fun with this. "Once upon a time I used to be a great... dragon. I was a unique and special breed that was a giant robotic dragon with a unicorn horn and instead of furs I possessed scales. I was named Fluffykins. It was adorable. I had a divine life of burning down innocent villagers and murdering a bunch of kings and all that good stuff... but I developed a great distaste for living. After a few centuries of living I had decided to take my own life since everyone was too casual to kill me. So I ripped out my unicorn horn and stabbed myself in the heart."
Pfft... HAHAHAHAHA. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M LAUGHING ABOUT IT!
You cold-hearted bitch. Did you just find my fantastical suicide hilarious? Shame on you, you monster.
N-No! Of course not, I wouldn't be so cruel, Ewan! It's very endearing!
THE FUR WAS ENDEARING! AND YOU TOTALLY CAVED YOU WUSS! HAHAHAHA!
"Pahahahaha!" Wow, what a callous and cold-blooded woman this sister of mine is. She laughs at a robotic dragon's suicide? "You just took the lie from before and turned it into a silly story!"
"Did you just call my suicide a funny story?"
You are really tenacious in trying to make her think you're a robotic dragon with a unicorn and instead of scales you have fur.
"What are you talking about,? That was totally a lie." I gave her a adamant stare, only to make her think like an idiot. "It wasn't a lie, was it...?"
"THEY CALLED ME FLUFFYKINS THE ENDEARING!"
And yet again, the one person I hoped to make Ewan see sense has fallen victim to his shennanigans. I suppose being a Goddess of nihilism is all that I am now...
I've stopped caring about how that makes sense anymore, but I think the more pressing matter is how on Earth you came to that conclusion. Was your only purpose to find someone that can tolerate his existence?
... Holy shit that really has been my only thought until now. DAMN IT EWAN!
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Can you two stop having an existential crisis and watch? I think this is going to be funny and I want a live audience.
"So... that means that you are in fact the dragon reincarnated?" I nodded, she seemed to regret her laughter now. "I apologize dearly for my insulting actions... Fluffykins."
AHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS BLOODY GOLDEN! SHE CALLED ME FLUFFYKINS! OH WAIT, I THINK I CAN GET SOMETHING BETTER!
"Aren't you forgetting a part?" I bet I can make her say it.
If she says it I'll do one thing you want only once and it can be anything. Nobody can be so dumb.
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No backsies.
...Fuck.
"Fluffykins... the endearing." She seemed to be reluctant to say it, but in the end she caved just like Flare! Maybe she's actually Flare taking the form of her to satisfy her paedophilic tendencies.
THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD BE THAT DUMB WOMAN WHO FALLS FOR SAYING FLUFFYKINS THE ENDEARING!
Pay up Sophia.
No way... you are kidding me.
Flare I was secretly rooting for you, now I've lost all hope.
What did you bet?
She would find a way to teach me how to finely manipulate magic if I could get you to say Fluffykins the Endearing. I was going to use the bet originally but you did it yourself, I'm proud of how predictable you are.
Is that really a bet? I thought she was going to teach you it anyway.
You expect me to trust someone who causes such heavy amounts of destruction with the power to manipulate magic?
Damn it...
Wait a second, what do you need it for?
Oh the magic manipulation? I want a map to plan where I go next and Sophia posting one in Ascii isn't exactly useful. So I'm going to use the book.
Why Fluffykins the endearing?
It had to be something ridiculous.
Then the point of you bringing your sister along wasn't to shut me up, was it?
Oh no, that was the point of bringing her along I just thought I might as well get some use out of her aside from rambling on how I'm a bit of a prick.
I hate you.
Flare don't be so paedophilic in front of my sister.
What makes you think I'm being a paedophile from just that?
That counts, Sophia.
BLOODY HELL!
Flare, I'm always betting for you so try not to make me look bad.
What was it this time?
A ritual where I could wish for anything I want.
... Those exist?
Unfortunately yes, and unfortunately because you made me lose the bet Ewan is going to use it.
Was it I'm being a paedophile?
So predictable. I really should have made another bet.
Oh no, I'm not falling for that. There's no way I'm always submissive to Ewan.
OH FUCKING HELL.
Hat-trick.
You really are submissive to him, Flare. It seems I'm also the same... unfortunately.
What was it now...?
Oh nothing, I was just really sure I could make you say it.
Three bets and three losses. Rubbish.
DON'T BET ON ME AGAIN!