Buck Matthews, the Cowboy Prince of Texas looked at himself in the mirror as he struggled to button up his shirt. Long hours on the ranch had bronzed his tightly muscled body until he resembled a Greek God. It was a burden really, trying to stretch a tight dress shirt across his Adonis-like frame made even the bulkiest of clothes look painted on.
He paused, leaning forward to rake his fingers through his slightly damp black hair until it was perfectly tousled. Leaning back he smiled at his reflection, revealing a set of brilliant white and symmetrical teeth. God, it almost hurt to look this good.
“Alexa,” he called out, slipping on a set of jeans that left little to the imagination. “Text Jacobson.”
As the machine blooped at him in response, the disheveled covers of his nearby bed shifted slightly, revealing the hint of a feminine leg and a glint of blond hair.
“Jake, I’m heading out,” Buck enunciated his words slowly for the voice recognition software. “Please make sure my guest from last night is comfortable and show her the way out when she wakes up.”
He reached the door to his suite, turning the knob slowly to avoid making any sound.
“Buck?” A woman’s voice called out drowsily. “Are you there? I know it’s early in the morning, but I’m ready for round two.” She paused before adding with a sultry chuckle, "Or is it more like round four?"
The door closed quietly behind him as Buck slipped out into the main walkway of his ranch. Jake would be there soon to diffuse the situation, but Buck was a simple man who lived by simple rules. First and foremost amongst them, Buck Matthews didn’t ride the same bronco twice.
Straightening the cuffs on his dress shirt, he quickly left the main building and headed toward the stable. Jake would’ve made sure that Mupin, his prized horse, was saddled and ready to go. He’d need to check on the cattle and make sure that the south fence hadn’t been damaged in last week’s storm. Good ol' cowboy duties.
He stopped, frowning at a blonde woman standing just outside the stable. Tears streamed down her face as she watched him approach, both of her hands clutching a purse tightly.
“Buck Matthews,” She sobbed, her hair streaming in the wind as she tried to wipe the tears from her face. “You broke my heart. I thought I meant something to you, you said I meant something to you, and then you disappeared for three months only for me to find you when you brought my younger sister home.”
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Buck flashed her his trademark megawatt smile, guaranteed to make any woman, no matter how angry, fall for him just like that. “Listen, Stacey-"
“MY NAME IS AMANDA!” She shrieked, whipping out a small revolver from within her purse.
Buck only had time to think 'Uh-oh' before the pistol cracked. He stumbled back as a bullet struck him in the shoulder, lodging itself into the bone.
He stared at her in shock, his sharp as diamonds jaw touching his chest. He could hardly process that she’d actually shot him before the gun went off once more. It barked, again and again, each bullet hitting him at point-blank range.
His body riddled with bullets, Buck slumped to the ground, his vision going dark as blood gushed out of him, splattering onto the ground. He could just barely hear the faint footsteps of her feet as she walked up next to him, pausing by the slowly expanding pool of blood spewing out of him.
“Long live the Cowboy Prince,” she said in disgust. Her head reared back before coming down sharply, a wet glob of spittle flying out of her mouth.
Buck’s world went dark.
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In the darkness, a blue box appeared.
Welcome new friend ヾ(＾∇＾)
What...what in the everloving tarnation was this thing?
Bad news, you’re dead ( - . -)
But! Thanks to a special limited-time reincarnation special you have a chance to live again in a world of Magic and Adventure! ( ^ _ ^)
Buck tried and failed to frown. He didn’t need a world of Magic and Adventure. As long as he had cattle to herd and women to woo, he’d bring the Magic to their Adventures. Silently he cursed his lack of hands to hold a pencil. That had been a good one. He should have written it down.
Calculating Karma ...*~*...*~*...
◟ʕ ´∀` ʔ◞ Yay! You’ve been reincarnated as a Sneezer!
Sneezer? What in the Sam Hill was a Sneezer? Buck opened his eyes, looking around a hillside covered in flowers.
Wait, something was moving. He turned to look at it, squinting against the sunlight.
Was that… a dragon? Like, a really tiny dragon? It sure was moving quickly toward him. That… probably wasn’t good.
Buck opened his mouth to call out to it, but it rushed up to him, snapping his face up into its maw. He tried to scream, but with a snapping and crunching sound, he was dead once again.