“Care for some tea?” the goblin princess asked as she placed down a dusty silver tray, complete with a cracked porcelain tea set, on the ramshackle table.

The gnomes sat opposite her and the wizard, on the floor. He hugged his knees to keep them from knocking over the table.

“Oh, I would love some,” Ono said and reached for one of the better-kept cups.

At his side, his brother asked, “What flavor is it?”

“Earl Grey.” Ivy answered and poured a cup for herself from the kettle. “Care for some, my star champion?” Her warm and steamy intonation matched the vapors rising from the teacups.

The wizard shuddered as the heat from the tray made sweat pool on his face. One that quickly developed into a streaming torrent dripping down from his forehead and into his chin. He stammered as he looked into her eyes and said, “N-No. Thank you, I'm good.”

“Yeah, you are.” The princess beamed at him and the wizard matched her with a shudder.

A fountain of spit suddenly erupted from the side of the table. The ramshackle shack shook as Ono spat out the tea he had chugged. In between coughs he asked, “What is this? You said this was Earl Grey!”

The goblin princess furrowed her brow as she grabbed the kettle, and with a rather indignant tone, she opened the lid and told the brothers, “But is! Tea is made with finest infusion of the Earl of Grey's remains themselves.”

“Eww. This is disgusting.” Ini said. At his side, Figwit stared in a dazed shock at what the goblin had served them.

Ono slammed his tea cup on the table, widening the cup’s cracks further and causing the table to collapse on top of Figwit's feet.

The wizard swallowed his pain, a faint tear falling from his eye, and lifted the wooden plank to replace it on the loose wooden pillars.

Ono began to protest. “I am outraged that you are serving us the remains of some Earl. As a guest of honor, I demand Duke or better.”

The princess let out a snake-like snicker as she picked up the tea set.

“I was just joking. I am goblin, not ogre,” she said as she grabbed the kettle to pour another cup for the gnomes, who began to rhythmically hit their empty cups into the table.

“Watch it!” The wizard let out, now moving frantically to hold the table in place with his hands and knees.

The princess poured the drink into the gnomes’ cups as she said, “It is not Earl of Grey. Ran out months ago. It is actually just milk with hot water.”

“Oh, cow milk?” Ono said as he and his brother began to chug again.

“No. Rat milk.”

A double fountain of spit erupted again as the brothers ejected the drink from their systems, slamming their cups and hands onto the table. This caused it to fall again on Figwit, crushing his hands.

“Ah! Son of a—-” The wizard bit his tongue, two tears erupting from him as he struggled not to yell obscenities in front of the princess.

Ivy once more helped the wizard prop up the table, and this time the wizard moved away from under it. She gathered the cups and relented. “Maybe I should stop joke.”

“You mean it’s not rat milk?” Ini asked. His brother had already resumed chugging directly from the kettle.

“Well, of course not. You can't milk rat, sillys,” she said as she gave the gnome's head a tussle. “Is just goat' milk.”

“Goat milk?” Ini said and slapped the kettle from his brother's hands, launching it toward Figwit.

With a slam and a pang, the kettle smashed open, spilling warm diluted goat milk on the wizard's face. Steam raced to the roof and filled the entirety of the shack, not from the liquid but from the wizard's rage. He took away the shards still covering his face and with a rapid eye twitch he said in a low rumbling tone, “I hate you. Both of you.”

“Oh my, let me help you,” the princess said as she moved toward the wizard with a dry rag.

“No, please. Your Highness, it's alright,” Figwit said as he gathered the detritus and cleaned his face with his own sleeve. “Sorry about them.”

The princess smiled at the wizard's manners, blushing. “No worry. Your face may break kettle, but I know you didn't break kettle.”

She then turned to the gnomes, who had once more fixed the table. This time, they sat opposite to the wizard and the princess. She took a defiant pose, holding her arms to her hips as she asked them. “Now why you do that for? Is not nice to break host’s kettles.”

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The gnomes looked at her, their hands interlocked on top of the table and their faces stern.

Ini spoke out. “I had to, Ono's allergic.”

“To milk?” the wizard asked as he inched closer to the table with the goblin's help.

“To goats,” Ono said as the princess and the wizard finally sat back down, meeting his eyes in a silent stare. “I gotta say though, it was quite good your pointyness. I'll have another one, please.”

“Idiot!” Ini smashed his hands on the table. “We will have two of them, please.”

It broke, and the wizard inhaled, preparing for another scream. But the table never hit him. Next to him, the goblin princess had set up an extra two blocks of wood that caught the base of the table so as if it would fall, the wizard's legs and feet would be safe.

The wizard looked over at her, surprised at her ingenuity. “H-How did you—” he stammered.

The princess brought her hand upwards to shush the wizard. “I come from goblin kingdom. I am used to little one's tricks.”

The wizard let out a small laugh, and a slight blush emerged on his cheeks. “I see,” he said. “I'm afraid I underestimated you, Your Highness. I apologize.”

“No need to be sorry,” the princess said. She looked deep into the wizard’s eyes, a smile forming. “You have been very nice guest.”

She turned to face the gnomes and her smile disappeared. The two brothers ducked behind the table so only their eyes and hats were visible.

“Patience walks thin. You better explain what you want quickly, or I kick you out,” she said. “Or get me new kettle. Either thing.”

The brothers stood up, and Ono cleared his throat and looked at Ini. “I'll explain. You get the kettle, Ini.”

“The good one?”

“No, the bad one.” He shook his head and winked at the same time.

“Huh. Right,” Ono relented as he took out his hat, shoving his head deep inside as he rummaged through it. At his side, his brother began his pitch.

“You see, your gobliness, we have a dream. A dream to create a place where hundreds—maybe even thousands—of people can enjoy themselves with rides and games! It's a fair of sorts. Think of it like a walled city, but inside is nothing but games and attractions. Things for people to play with and spend their time and money on!”

The goblin princess lowered her head, wondering at the gnomes’ idea. “You want make winter fair,” she added. “But have it all year round ... hmm. Why you come here then?”

Ono stood on top of the table and made a dignified bow to the princess. “We were told this swamp was free to use. The location is perfect too! If we can make our park, we could connect it to the Dwarf rail and advertise it as a destination for all dwarf settlements to use. Not to mention the fact it’s a swamp—mostly flat. We can clear out the water, make some platforms, and build whatever we need!”

“You are gonna do that all by yourselves?” the wizard asked, beginning to question the sanity of such a project.

Ono raised his finger as if to answer, but suddenly he fell quiet, stammering nonsensical babble that faded into inaudible murmurs.

There was an uncertain silence inside the shack. For the first time since Figwit had met him, the gnome looked defeated and disappointed. Even their hats seemed to have lost its spirit, sagging downwards like its dejected and depressed masters.

The silence was broken as the princess shone a light of hope, like the sun rays that pierced her rotten shack. “Building kingdom is not easy task. Especially fun kingdom. You need servants, soldiers, goblins you can trust to help you build. A king is not king if he has no subject.” She looked down at her tattered noble clothing. “But lucky you, I might be able to help.”

The wizard and the gnome looked at the goblin in shock, while Ini took out an old metal kettle from his hat and placed it on the table.

“Say what now?” Ini asked, replacing his hat on his head.

“When I come to swamp, I did not come alone,” she said. “I had my retinue; a company of goblin guards who came to protect me. I can guide you to them. If you lucky, maybe can even recruit them to help build park.”

The gnomes’ eyes widened in joy. A question hovered above them, however. A question that was materialized as the wizard turned to the goblin.

“You would do that for them? Really? Why?”

A smirk emerged from the princess and she said in a low, grumbling tone, “I guide you to my guards. Help you gain trust even. But in exchange, I want rule over your kingdom.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

The princess got on top of the table and pushed the gnomes to their seats.

“You build park, create games and take money. But I want my own kingdom again. Let me look over it. I take care of administration, management, day-to-day affairs of park. I wish nothing else but to be royalty again.”

The gnome brothers looked at one another and almost immediately nodded. They answered. “That actually suits us just fine.”

“Yeah, I mean, we were gonna build the rides and then just sort of let things run on their own.” Ini said.

“Yeah, didn't really have a plan for management or administration ... bit of an oversight on our part.”

“Oversight? I was just gonna suggest we have Figwit do everything.”

“What?” the wizard blurted out. His eye twitched at their incompetence.

The goblin princess laughed and extended her green hands toward them. With a warm smile, she said, “So, we have deal? I help you get goblins to work and you, let me run park.”

The gnomes lifted themselves up, each raising a hand to meet her’s.

“And we get to design the rides and the park!”

“And collect the money!” Ono said.

The princess shook their hands as she added to the terms. “Portion of money. Park maintenance itself cost money too.”

“You drive a hard bargain ... how much. 10%?” Ini asked asked as the shaking stopped and she held their hands in place.

“30.”

“30? No, absolutely not. 10 or lower,” Ini added. The princess squeezed their hands.

“30,” she said again in a cooler tone.

“Ok, ok, ok, ok. Don't listen to my brother. How about 20?”

“30!” The squeezing continued, her strong goblin hands burrowing deep into their flesh.

“How about 27? Final offer?”

“I said. 30,” the goblin princess uttered, and the gnomes thumped their feet into the chairs in pain. Finally, they relented.

“Ok, alright. Fine. You get 30% of all profits.”

“Yes 30, I agree, I agree, just let us go.” Ono and Ini said respectively.

The princess smiled, shaking their hands one last time before letting them go. “Pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen.”

The gnomes held their aching hands as the goblin princess returned to her seat next to the wizard.

Figwit giggled at her display of authority and told her, “Good job settling the deal. So, where is this royal guard of goblins?”

The princess fixed her dress, adjusting it as she said to her guests, “Close by. Follow and I take you to them. I warn though, getting their help won't be easy.”

“Oh, then I'm glad we have you to help us ...” Ini grumbled. He began to follow the princess outside the shack whilst Ono grabbed the kettle.

“Then I'm taking the kettle back,” he retorted. “You have lost kettle privileges, Your Highness.”