The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I was no longer burning to death. As you might imagine, I thought that was pretty rad.

It was more than that though — somehow, I wasn’t even burnt. In fact, so complete was my recovery that I probably would have chalked the accident up to a fever dream if not for three things.

Firstly, I was now in a forest. While nothing about it seemed magical per se, it wasn’t the type of place I’d expected to find myself. Secondly, my clothes had been swapped out. All of my clothing from Earth was gone, replaced with a plain brown outfit along with a sturdy set of boots. At my side hung a black pouch with a drawstring fastened to a belt around my waist.

Thirdly was the screen. It loomed in front of me, displaying the simple message I’d caught before passing out.

You have notifications to review. Review now?

Yes No

“Um, hello? Dex? You with me?” I called out for the strange kid who’d teleported me here, but received no answer. I guessed I was on my own?

Well, there was at least one way to get some answers. Hesitantly, I reached out to the screen in front of me and hit Yes. Instantly, the text shifted, this time to a flowing script written with glowing golden letters.

CONGRATULATIONS! FOR YOUR NOTABLE DEEDS, YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN BY THE GODS! MAY YOUR NAME RIPPLE THROUGH THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH, PROTAGONIST!

The gods? I wasn’t even confident that gods existed — I certainly hadn’t done anything to impress one. Unless that weird kid had been one? I guessed that would explain the freaky magic powers he had, but seriously? That kid was supposed to be a deity?

Well, whatever. He wasn’t here, and I had more immediate concerns to deal with. What did it mean to be “chosen by the gods” in any case?

As if in response to my question, suddenly a warm electric sensation began tingling through my wrist. Rapidly it grew in intensity until I felt like my entire arm was going to fry to a crisp. I stifled a scream as the pain got worse and worse, until all of a sudden, it left.

I looked down at where the feeling had been the most intense and was surprised to find what looked like a moving tattoo. It was a golden, intricate, swirling pattern, and as I continued to look at it, I started to get a headache just from watching it move. After a few seconds, the movement died down and the tattoo began to fade, seeming almost as if it were being absorbed into my skin. Bizarre.

As I stared at the tattoo, the text on the screen updated.

Congratulations! You have received the Mark of the Protagonist.

+500 Prestige

+1 Greater Boon

+1 Average Boon

+1 Lesser Boon

+10 to Luck

I read the message twice over, frowning more deeply each time. +10 to Luck? Was I… Was this entire world supposed to be structured like a video game? It certainly explained the strange computer screens, but why?

I sighed, shaking my head. The why didn’t really matter to me. For all I knew some gamer god got bored and created a world just for kicks. I was a bit disturbed seeing as many video games involved lots and lots of fighting, but we’d cross that bridge when we came to it.

The more important thing was what all those “boons” did and whether or not they’d help me find my way out of the forest. I advanced to the next notification, hoping for some clarity.

After having your skin slowly sloughed off in the heat of a raging fire, you found out that gods existed, moved to a new universe, and said goodbye to everyone you’ve ever known or loved. Neat!

For not immediately melting into a puddle of despair, you have been granted the Trauma Suppression skill, bypassing the usual prerequisites.

You have learned a new skill: Trauma Suppression

All trauma is shoved down into a tiiiiny little box. We’re confident this is completely healthy and won’t have any negative long term effects.

Prerequisites: 20 Wisdom, 20 Endurance Overridden

For learning a Rare skill, you have been granted 100xp.

Trauma Suppression has reached level 2! +100xp

Trauma Suppression has reached level 3! +100xp

Wow. Okay. Disturbing? In retrospect, I was feeling remarkably fine for having just basically died. While the therapist side of me wasn’t too hype about bottling up my trauma, my more pragmatic side counted it as a win. There would be plenty of time to deal with my issues after I was sure no forest predator was coming to eat my face off.

Advancing once again, I came to what ended up being the final trio of notifications.

I moved on to the last set of notifications, scratching my head as I read them.

You have received a Greater Boon. Would you like to look at your options?

You have received an Average Boon. Would you like to look at your options?

You have received a Lesser Boon. Would you like to look at your options?

What sort of “boons” were we talking here? I accepted the prompt for the Greater Boons, and instantly, a list popped up with a small scrollbar on the side. I scrolled through it for a while, checking to see how many options I had, only to find that the list was massive.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

Before I could get too far into the weeds, however, the list disappeared, replaced by a single line of text.

As a Protagonist chosen by a god of luck, all boons will be selected randomly.

What? Since when had I been chosen by a god of luck? Was that what Dex was?

Well, whatever. Three boons was still more than the average person got, I imagined. As long as I didn’t get anything weird.

As if sensing my resignation, the text updated.

Greater Boon selected. Gained new ability: God’s Mind

Knowledge is power for those who know how to wield it.

+1 to Wisdom and Intelligence every 3 levels

+20% to mental resistance

Improves memory and learning speed.

Can query basic world information.

Instantly gain access to the Identify skill.

Additional effects may be found after gaining sufficient Intelligence and Perception.

The aforementioned Identify skill popped up instantly afterwards.

You have learned a new skill: Identify

Focus on an object or entity to learn more about it.

Prerequisites: 15 Perception Overridden

For learning a Common skill, you have been granted 50xp.

Well, if I was going to end up having to fight anything, I would have felt a lot better with something like “shoot lightning from your eyes!” or “become invincible for 10 minutes!” but what was done was done. At the very least, the querying function looked like a godsend seeing how little I knew right now, and Identify looked pretty handy too.

After a few moments, the other two boons were chosen as well. For the Average Boon, I got one titled Minor Class Token. Its description was… “Receive a minor class token.” Helpful! I loved random selection!

As soon as I received it, the newly familiar electric sensation started up on my forearm, but this time much less intensely. The sensation died down and the image of a small black coin appeared on my arm before sinking into my skin.

For the Lesser Boon, I thankfully got one that looked like it’d help me if I ran into trouble.

Strong Armed

+5 to Strength

+2 to Constitution

All at once, my body began to change, my muscles growing thicker before my eyes. Damn! I was fit now! For someone who’d almost never hit the gym and mostly just stayed at home eating instant ramen noodles, this was the dream! And to think, all it took was almost dying, getting transported to a different world, and being blessed by a god.

Boons taken care of, I finally stood up and stretched my stiff limbs, working some heat back into them. Who would have thought that so much of my first moments in a magical world would have been spent reading?

If that was all my notifications had to tell me, it was probably time to try and get out of the forest, right? Was I supposed to just, I dunno, wander around? And did I seriously not even have a weapon?

My mind returned to the pouch at my side, and I undid the drawstring before reaching in.

I expected my hand to hit the bottom almost immediately. Instead, it just… didn’t? I continued to reach downwards until the pouch impossibly swallowed half of my arm. “What are you, little bag?”

Surprisingly, the world answered me, a window popping up in explanation. Probably my new Identify skill?

Minor Pouch of Holding

This spatially augmented bag can hold up to 20 different items and will reduce their carried weight by 98%. A full list of its contents can be obtained by focusing on the pouch while thinking “Inventory.”

This bag is soulbound to Tess. It cannot be used or opened by others.

Huh. I wasn’t sure if the bag was part of me being chosen as a Protagonist or if it was a send-off gift from Dex, but I was hardly complaining either way. Following the description’s advice, I opened the inventory, and a 4x5 grid popped up displaying the bag’s contents.

Bread, more bread, some salted meat, and a… spear? Well, it was a bit worrying that he’d felt the need to include that, but I certainly felt safer knowing I had a weapon should the need for one arise. In the slot next to the spear, I also spotted a small knife which hopefully I could use for more than just a weapon. I kept the two stowed away, not feeling the need to lug them around right now.

I closed the pouch and gave it a tug, verifying that it was tightly secured to the belt on my pants. That taken care of, it was finally adventure time! Or, at least, wander around and hope not to die time? I was still pretty spotty on what Dex wanted from me or how dangerous the forest would be. Regardless, I knew I didn’t want to be stranded in the woods.

All directions looking about equal to me, I picked one at random and ventured forth.

For a few minutes, I simply walked on, enjoying the pleasant atmosphere of traveling through the woods. A low-hanging branch stood in my way, and I swept it aside, accidentally pricking myself on a thorn as I did so. While the unexpected flash of pain elicited a gasp from me, it didn’t feel serious, and I tried to ignore it and move on. Before I could do so, however, two lines of red text popped up in the corner of my vision.

Took 1 damage from bite. Current health: 119/120

You are poisoned! Take 1 damage every 5 seconds for 20 seconds.

Did that say bite? Holy shit! Holy shit, something bit me! I frantically waved my arm in an effort to dislodge anything and whipped my head over to where the pain had been.

There, on my hand, was a tiny, green spider.

Without even consulting my brain, my other arm moved towards it at lightspeed, batting it to the ground. In a flurry of panicked nerves, the very second it hit the ground, I stomped on it, feeling the sickening crunch of its exoskeleton giving way. At its death, a line of blue text quickly flashed in the corner of my vision: +2 exp. Along with the experience came a pair of new prompt.

You have learned a new skill: Unarmed Combat. +50xp

Increase all unarmed damage by 1%.

The skill was welcome, I supposed, but holy hell! Did it really have to be spiders? Nobody liked spiders! Not even spiders liked spiders!

My heart lurched as I thought about being trapped in a spider-infested forest, but now more than ever, it was not the time to freak out. Keep cool, Tess. You got this. Besides, it barely did any damage.

I took a moment to breathe and calm myself down, letting the remaining poison run its course before lifting my boot to reveal what remained of the offender. For the most part, it had been reduced to little more than a paste, but oddly enough, a few centimeters above it hung a little golden-white light. On a hunch, I reached down and poked it.

You received: Weak venom gland x1

A small fleshy sac appeared in my hand connected by a little tube to a spider fang. Kind of gross, but score, I guess? I definitely hadn’t expected to be able to loot anything from it after pulverizing it like that, but I’d take it. I threw it into my pouch and watched with satisfaction as it disappeared.

Still a bit frazzled and panicked from the encounter, I got back up and started to walk onwards, but nature had other plans. Before I could take even two steps, I felt a pair of sharp pains in my arm and neck.

Took 1 damage from bite.

Took 1 damage from bite.

You have been poisoned! Take 2 damage every 5 seconds for 20 seconds.

Oh, for fuck’s sake!