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Protagonist: The Whims of Gods
B4 C48: The Killer Chef

B4 C48: The Killer Chef

As it turned out, Cal hadn’t been idle during our time apart.

While apparently she made some good progress on her class quests, the real prize she brought back was information. True to her word, she’d spent time exploring the mountains to the best of her ability, and then scouting out the regions around the poison jungle.

Both endeavors yielded results, although both results were frankly a bit disappointing.

Mountain-wise, she was relatively sure she’d discovered where we needed to go to find the boss. I hadn’t given the matter much thought, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if there was some giant gryphon’s nest, nestled atop the tallest peak. In fact, that would have been ideal, as Cal and I were well suited to fighting the beasts.

Cal was quick to bring that hope crashing to the ground.

“Underground cave system,” she confirmed. “Found the entrance, but didn’t go too deep. The dungeon turned off its lighting down there, so it’s completely pitch black. I’m decent in low-light conditions, but full darkness is a bit much for me. And in any case, cave-ins are probably one of the few things I can’t deal with.”

In retrospect, it wasn’t that shocking. It would be a waste for the dungeon to create an entire mountain and only use the top of it. Still, all three of us were in agreement to leave the region alone for now. I was probably the only one who could handle it, and even then, much like Cal, I didn’t have a way out of cave-ins.

“And there’s truly no hope of us skirting the jungle?” The question was a bit strange coming from Verin, as she would be the safest of all three of us. Considering she didn’t have to breathe while in her glacier, she was already set. Then again, perhaps she was hoping for a region where she got to stretch her legs instead of being lugged around on my back.

“I mean, do you want to deal with the regions I found?” Apparently, to the east of the jungle was a zone for magma mana. Ignoring the less-than-stellar memories I had with magma, I couldn’t imagine a region worse for Verin. The air was hot enough to deal constant damage over time, and unlike the jungle, that damage couldn’t be avoided just by holding our breaths.

The west was no better. All Cal had seen was that it was another aquatic region, this time with black water. Presumably, it was some composite mana type involving water, maybe combined with dark or death mana.

Understandably, we would not be touching the region with a thousand-foot pole.

While catching up, we spent some time telling Cal about the Wandering Woods as well. She was slightly sad to have missed it, but any bad feelings were tossed aside as she launched into a long list of her favorite fruits. Once we told her about Arbor, her only concern was creating a grocery list for next month.

And there would be a next month. Rather than search for a novel region or strike out on a brand new journey, we decided to tackle the jungle next. As we were hardly ready to brave its ever-present toxic fumes quite yet, that meant more training. Cal seemed to have some new ideas on how to rush through a few class quests, but for my part, that meant more slow and steady spell casting.

And so it was that, with a clear goal in mind, the three of us settled back into our cabin routines.

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Die. Live. Die. Live.

Meandering through the forest, I targeted random patches of greenery, alternating between casting Deaden and Vivify. With Arbor’s blessing, I no longer had to worry about getting mauled by panthers, and while I would miss the sporadic experience, it was a worthwhile tradeoff.

Having already hit the Apprentice tier in Water Magic since last I’d leveled, I was currently sitting at three class points total. With seven points to go before I could grab Arcane Choker, I had a wide variety of different paths I could take to get there. I wasn’t likely to level again before we left, but when it came to class skills, I had a wealth of options to choose from.

Life Magic, however, was an easy no-brainer. It was already at level 19, and with Cal’s class no longer having a healing element, that role mostly fell to me. At the same time, the best healing spell I had was my Minor Healing cantrip, which couldn’t quite keep up with the kind of damage our enemies could dish out these days. If Arbor was still willing to teach me some new spells, then reaching a new rank before next I saw him was my number one priority.

The only problem was how annoying training my life magic was.

Die. Live. Live. Die.

Most of my other spell schools could be used offensively. Failing that, a number of my Initiate-tier spells were useful in my day-to-day life, like Chill and Invigorate for modifying my temperature.

My life magic, on the other hand, was almost entirely useless unless someone was hurt. The exception was Vivify, which strengthened something’s vitality. Used on a human, the most it would do was slow the rate at which their skin cells died. Maybe if I could figure out how to target organs, I could slow down internal cell death and thus delay the effects of aging, but that was entirely speculation. If anything, I might end up giving someone magic cancer instead.

Regardless, neither uses held much appeal to me. Since hitting the first Charisma threshold, I’d never had a bad skin day or clogged pores, and aging wasn’t a big issue after hitting the Constitution threshold either.

All that to say, strengthening random plants was the best I could do to train.

“No reason not to speed things up though…” Taking out one of my most recent alchemical concoctions, I dumped the entirety of it into my mouth.

You have been poisoned!

After all, why not? I funneled my life mana into my armor, passively healing away the poison damage. The extra leveling speed from using my armor was fairly minimal by now, but every bit counted. Plus, the poison was going to good use, leveling up my resistance while slowly chipping away at my Mithridatism II requirements.

Die. Live. Die. Die.

Death Magic has reached level 19!

Nice. Not the level I was most excited about, but it was still one step closer to grabbing some class points.

Live. Live. Die. Live…

For my own sanity, I would have liked to say that I grabbed the last level I needed later that day. Unfortunately, gone were the days where I could train up all of my magics to the next rank over spring break. Not that I exactly hated going on long solo walks through the woods, but it took another week before it finally happened.

As was often the case for my non-combat skills, the level didn’t come from any flashy fight or brush with death. Instead, it arrived much like its predecessors, by rote repetition and mind-numbing routine.

Die. Live. Live. Live. Live. Li-

Life Magic has reached level 20!

Congratulations! You have reached the Apprentice rank in Life Magic.

Based on your skill usage, you have been granted a skill augment for achieving a new skill rank.

Vitalizer’s Augment

Plants that you strengthen with your life magic may gain additional bonuses to their quality and potency. These effects become more pronounced if you continue to strengthen the plants over time.

Class quest completed: Raise a basic school of magic to the Apprentice rank (Repeatable).

+ 2 Class Points

+5000xp

Evidently, my skill had reacted to all the times I’d used Vivify. From a combat perspective, the augment was a wash. Still, who cared? I wasn’t trying to be a dedicated combat healer for the rest of my life.

Maybe something to use on my garden. I wondered if it would improve the taste of what I grew, too. If not, then it would still be useful for alchemy, but any boost to my cooking was much appreciated.

Speaking of which, I think that’s enough training for the day. What should I make for dinner?

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“Try it.” Having returned home, I pulled the others over to the dinner table. One of my long standard scorpion dishes sat there, but it wasn’t the focus tonight. Gesturing to some crude bowls, I watched with rapt attention as Verin and Cal picked up their forks.

“If you’re going for the fancy chef vibe, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to explain what you made before we eat.” Cal stabbed a fork into the crisp pile of greenery before her, making no move to eat it as she eyed me expectantly.

Fair point, I think. With a slight flourish, I presented my modest creation.

“A baby spinach salad with candied walnuts and toasted peaches.” Was that enough? I felt like I was supposed to say more. “I’ve gotten a bit better at pulling the sugar from the beets, but you may still notice a darker, earthy flavor from the walnuts. As for the peaches, I’ve simmered them in herbs before applying some low, dry heat. The goal was something refreshing that balances a meat heavy meal, but can also function as a standalone snack to keep you going after hours of training.”

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

Cal and Verin shared a glance, neither seeming to expect the lengthy description. Before they could further delay, I repeated myself, more forcefully this time.

“Try it.” Knowing that wouldn’t be enough to get honest feedback, especially from Verin, I tacked on another command. “Be honest. We’re here for a long time. I need feedback.”

Not particularly bogged down by the edicts of etiquette in the first place, Cal was happy to comply after stuffing the first forkful into her mouth. “Mmm! S’ good! A little simple, though. Could use another note or two, I think. Walnuts are a bit gummy, too, but you’re still working on the sugar.”

Having carefully assembled a bite which included a bit of all three ingredients, Verin nodded in agreement, having to finish chewing before she could speak. “I largely concur. A dressing, or one more unifying ingredient. And while the peaches are good as is, I believe you could play with how you cook them. Grilling them may play more to their strengths than toasting.”

That was actually surprisingly good feedback, although I didn’t know why I’d expected anything different. In terms of refined palates, I couldn’t ask for much better than a princess and a high noble.

The peach issue, I’d work on. As for the others, I was mostly out of luck for now. I agreed that it was still lacking something, but I needed more to work with. A goat cheese in particular would have been nice, but so far, there was no dairy to be seen in the dungeon.

Dressings were more reasonable, but I hadn’t managed to make any oil yet, let alone vinegar for vinaigrettes. Still, they weren’t off the table.

Maybe a lemon poppy vibe? It bore some serious thought. Arbor has to know what a lemon is, right?

Will all the gravity the situation deserved, I nodded to my taste testers.

“Good feedback. I’ll make it better for next time.”

At the very least, I had plenty of new plants to bug Arbor for now.

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Just a little more to the left. Floating high in the air, I panned my bow to the side by a single hair’s width. Thankfully, my target was stationary, as from this distance, even the slightest movement could be enough to make me miss. Far, far below me, the bulky figure of a sleeping gryphon was no more than a pinprick in my vision.

All right. Keep it steady. And charge. Locking my muscles into a perfect stillness, I began slowly feeding air mana to my nocked arrow. As it sucked up more and more power, it began to vibrate, and it took every ounce of my concentration to maintain my aim. Knowing I wouldn’t stand a chance if I charged the attack any more than I had, I counted down from three, and I fired.

The air in front of me completely vanished in the wake of the projectile, letting off a sharp pop as the surrounding air rushed to fill in the void. Less than a second later, the noise was joined by an indignant squawk as the arrow connected with its intended target.

Archery has reached level 18!

Even with my skill leveling up, I grimaced as I read the corresponding battle notification.

You have struck a Stonehide Gryphon for 12 damage!

Bad hit. The system must have been rewarding me for making the shot at all, considering the distance. Still, it was clear I’d barely nicked it. That, or the arrow just wasn’t enough to pierce its tough exterior.

Well, not like I won’t get more chances. Gryphons were half eagle, after all, and even at this distance, their eagle eyes were more than up to the task of spotting me. Intent on punishing me for interrupting its nap, the winged lion leapt into the sky, furiously flapping in my direction. Seeming to have some semblance of bestial intelligence, the creature zigged and zagged about, not willing to offer me a clean shot.

Line it up, and… there.

Another arrow flew forth only to veer off to the side as I failed to account for its erratic movements. Both my third and forth arrow shared the same fate.

Which was embarrassing, in a way. It would have been more understandable if this was my first attempt, but this was my fourth outing of this sort since returning from the forest. As I slowly floated through the air with Featherfoot, I likewise channeled air mana to my armor, eyes, and gloves, maximizing my mana usage as best I could.

My somewhat lackluster results really hammered it home that I could use more archery practice. I’d used the bow to great effect in many of my previous fights, but I’d been lucky. Giant monsters, like the Warforged Titan, had made it all but impossible for me to miss a decently aimed shot. The best training I’d received was probably shooting down bats and fairies in my Arcane Armament and Bind Weapon class trials, but it was clear I’d been growing rusty since completing them.

Then again, as much as it was a nice bonus, the point of these fights wasn’t to level my Archery skill.

Having closed half the initial distance between us, the gryphon was now a much easier target, even with its evasive maneuvers in play. I traced its motions with the tip of my fifth arrow as I charged up, not willing to release the bowstring until I was sure the gryphon wouldn’t be able to dodge.

Now.

The arrow tore through the air, and this time around, I was greeted with a much more satisfying result.

You have struck a Stonehide Gryphon for 81 damage!

Furiously screeching, the stony lion began to fall from the air, spiraling downwards as it tried to control its descent. Centered around a thin puncture wound in its left wing, a giant rent had formed, fouling its flight.

I mean, I was aiming for the head, but all’s well that ends well?

Under normal circumstances, I would have fired off a few more shots as it fell, but this time around, I didn’t bother.

After all, why would I? Directly after the battle notification was the exact message I’d been waiting for.

Air Magic has reached level 20!

Congratulations! You have reached the Apprentice rank in Air Magic!

I scanned my new augment, discovering that my air magic was now strengthened whenever I used it to clean things. Apparently, that included fighting against a host of opposing magic types as well, including mud magic. It wasn’t what I’d expected, but in retrospect, it wasn’t that surprising. Half my levels had been from using the Initiate-ranked Dry spell, while my biggest combat usage had been firing wind arrows at Din’Ket.

Regardless of why I’d gained the augment, I couldn’t help but think that Suds would be proud.

More important was the standard notification, though.

Class quest completed…

With two more class points stored away, it was only a matter of time before I hit my goal.

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“All right, Chef Tess. What are we working with today?” Cal sat on the far side of the table, side by side with Verin. With the two of them facing me together, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was on some cooking show, presenting my dish to the judges.

For the most part, I was confident I’d get a good score today. Summoned directly from my storage, two stone bowls soon graced the table, a heady scent and thick steam wafting off from them. Stone silverware soon followed, making the simple act of setting the table feel like a magic trick. Which it actually was, I supposed.

“Old recipes, spiced up with new ingredients.” Or, at least that was sort of true. I’d asked myself how I could reimagine the somewhat boring scorpion soup I’d often served in the past. While I thought I’d largely succeeded, I wasn’t sure if the new creation technically counted as a soup anymore. Instead, it was more of a wet noodle dish.

“Whole wheat noodles in an upgraded scorpion broth. We don’t have eggs. Or salt. But I wanted to see if we could work with pasta at all. Nothing too fancy to begin with.” With my Dexterity, I was fairly certain I could eventually contort the dough into all sorts of strange shapes, but today was for proof of concept. I’d settled for a long, flat noodle, that I was pretty sure counted as fettuccine.

“The broth is a scorpion stock, but a bit more subtle than usual. I used the lower-fat areas of the monster to shoot for a clearer broth and simmered with onions, carrots, and a number of herbs before straining all the solids out.” What had possessed me to ask for carrots before garlic or peppercorns, I wasn’t sure. In my defense, I hadn’t realized my time would be so limited. “I made a couple variants before settling on this one. In some, I thickened the broth with flour until it turned more into a sauce. In others, I added more broth and a bit of meat to make a proper noodle soup. This ended up being my favorite, though.”

I didn’t dwell too much on my pre-Protagonist days, but I recalled living a few blocks away from a really tiny Japanese spot while I’d been studying for my Master’s. They were big on cold soba noodles, and had a few different varieties, which was something I hadn’t seen before.

Honestly, I’d never been a huge fan, but I remembered how they paired the thin, buckwheat noodles with a dipping sauce. My dish was different in a number of ways, but I was hoping to capture that feeling of using the broth as a dip rather than a soup base or a sauce.

Having said my piece, I took a seat and summoned a third bowl for myself, gesturing for the others to eat. Both tucked in with gusto.

“I will admit, I have long been awaiting the return of carbs and starches to my diet. Thank you, Lady Tess.” Verin withheld any further words until more of her plate had been emptied, while Cal gave notes in between comically slurping up the long noodles.

This time around, there were plenty of feedback points. With only whole wheat and water, I hadn’t been able to create the best noodles, and the broth could have used a few more notes as well.

Still, the main complaint was that I hadn’t given them anything to sop up the broth after finishing the noodles. I threw out a few crackers to help, but I could tell it wasn’t what they were after.

No, if I served the dish again, it would only be after I figured out how to bake us some bread.

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CRACK.

A small crater formed on the back of the scorpion’s shell, fissures radiating out from its center. As I backed off, sand streamed up from the ground, quickly filling in the newly formed breaches.

For once, that was exactly what I wanted. After all, it gave me more time to train before I had to find a new target.

With a horrid screech, the oversized arachnid whipped its body about, but it was far too slow. Spatial Step repositioned me to its far side, and I summoned a spear, coating it as much earth mana as I could. Generally a bad choice for the weapon, as the coating of earth blunted the normally sharp tip. Indeed, my hammer would have been a better choice if I were trying to end this faster.

CRACK.

Leveraging my considerable strength, I slammed the spear into a virgin section of carapace, shattering it.

While I sometimes fell into the trap of forgetting about my weapon skills, they were still a major part of my class. While not nearly as flashy as my various spell schools, they were just as good for earning me class points. With Spears sitting at level 19, I’d been challenging the scorpions for weeks now, hoping to grab the last level of Earth Magic at the same time.

As per usual, I was using as much earth mana as possible, channeling it into my armor, gloves, eyes, and feet on top of my weapon. In between strikes, I also cast Encumber, sometimes on my weapon, sometimes on the scorpion itself.

With all the extra avenues to level the skill, perhaps it was no surprise that it hit the next rank first. After a particularly brutal Encumber-boosted spear nearly tore an entire leg off, I finally got what I was after.

Earth Magic has reached level 20!

It would have felt much more momentous if Spears had leveled at the exact same time, but of course, that would have been too much of a coincidence. Still, the eventual level was far closer than I would have guessed. Only a few scorpions later, I executed a somewhat overzealous strike, ramming my spear halfway through the creature’s head.

As its health bottomed out and it stilled, I received the twin to my earlier notification.

Spears has reached level 20!

This time around, I barely even skimmed my two new augments -- weight spells became more effective for earth, and mana enhancements gained a boost for spears -- instead eyeing the two identical lines I’d been waiting for.

+2 Class Points

+2 Class Points

Finally. Not even waiting until I got back home, I slipped into my class space and bolted to the appropriate pedestal. Sitting there, waiting for me, was the final puzzle piece I needed before I was ready to challenge the toxic jungle.

Would you like to buy Arcane Choker for 10 class points?