There is a moment in the night when your thoughts become critical, and you are consumed in some facet of your mind. Claire theorized that it happens after something unsettles a part of you. Maybe someone said something that day that disturbed you. There might be a vision in your mind that has captured your attention.

Every night was something that consumed her.

For Claire, when she could not sleep at night, she was thinking about the past. All her nights in that base in Team Rocket had been defined by it. She closed her eyes and tried to trace the paintings that blossomed in the darkness of the nighttime. The bold strokes of color and fathoming; windows into the souls of an artist waving a flag to be listened to between their works.

Because no matter how Claire was distracted by everything around her and even the peril that threatened to consume her, she didn't want to forget anything. Of course, some things had become hazy, but she had accepted that. Who cared about all the intricacies in her life that she hadn't even cared about before?

But that fear... fear of losing the art, the memories of her family...

It kept her up at night. So she repeated factoids to herself like a madwoman. Totodile would often churn in his sleep to her words, and she would soothe her hand down his back.

Even if it was irrational, Claire missed her room in that hellhole training base that first night. The comfort of being able to ramble into the night had become uneasily familiar to her. Now she was stuck in a room she didn't want to be in and just enough politeness in her body to not ramble while someone was sleeping.

Samuel, her new roommate, had a habit of snoring.

The night passed by like molasses. She would wake up with images of Arianna smiling down at her, flashing between her lapses of unconsciousness. It wasn't pleasant and eventually led to her reaching for Toto on the floor to see if he was still there various times as the night passed.

And pass it did.

Claire's restless night was interrupted at dawn by a spiteful growlithe. The pokémon's harsh teeth gripped her sleeve and yanked. The bite wasn't enough to hurt her, but it dragged her out of the bed, which ended up in Claire falling pathetically to the ground upside down. She grabbed the bed frame before she could fall off all the way, but it didn't stop her from smacking her shoulder on the ground.

"Sorry, Gold." Samuel whispered loudly as if he was embarrassed. The name she was assigned was still foreign to her, and she had to remind herself that it was her designation now. Samuel went to help her but she waved him off. This was so embarrassing. Then, her grip on the bed frame slipped, and the world swerved around her again.

The growlithe barked at her as she scrambled on the floor like an idiot. That ended up with her falling off the bed completely. Toto was just trying to eat Garnish's fluffy white tail. Traitor.

"Garnish, don't bark." Samuel said softly. He sounded like he was trying to not laugh, and Claire mildly despised the teenager for it.

Claire had hit her shoulder hard on the wooden floor of their room, and she knew it would bruise. Garnish looked smug at her as she proceeded to sit back down under her partner's bed. The pokémon crossed her legs slyly, and Claire glared at her before she had to close them due to a wave of sleepiness.

The girl's eyes felt raw as she rubbed them. For a second, she remembered waking up in the summer days while cuddling Toto, and she missed it. There wasn't much time to dwell on it as she heard Samuel shuffling across the room from her.

The sky outside was still dark, a dark blue that was almost black. The sunlight hadn't broken the cascade of night and clouds in the weak morning of another day in Johto.

"Sorry, I didn't tell her to do that." Samuel said softly, which reminded her of how early it was.

"It's okay." Claire said, even though she had the urge to snap at Samuel to control his pokémon from being a raging asshole.

The stillness of the morning had dulled Samuel's features. He looked as tired as her, and his brown hair looked almost black in the limited light they had. He wore their new uniform; the black being swallowed into the darkness of their shared room.

She had never looked at Samuel this closely before. She avoided looking at people. However, she could see his features in the bare light in the shadows of his exhausted face. His hair touched his shoulders, and he brushed it back with his hands to move it out of his face. The color of it was the type of brown that was a few shades noticeably away from black.

"I just wanted to wake you before you had to rush. We have to meet up with Captain Featherfrow in about twenty minutes."

She didn't want to get up from being sprawled on the ground. Toto started nudging her stomach, which tickled her, but she refused to giggle in front of Samuel.

"Okay." Claire said, pushing Toto away from her. The pang in her shoulder faded as she made her meager bed, tucking the dull red blanket to make it look organized.

Samuel did the same after watching her. Claire glanced at Garnish to see her trying valiantly to ignore Toto trying to talk to her. The growlithe kept turning away every few minutes.

The totodile ignored the blatant disregard, or he just didn't care.

Claire cursed inwardly about missing her chance for a morning shower. Sharing a bathroom with four others meant she had been resigned to not showering the previous night, and now she was paying for it.

"Samuel, do you know where we have to meet Captain Featherfrow?" She asked, and before Samuel could answer, they heard a noise outside of their room.

Their door opened and Ferris peaked in, face looking unpleasantly at them.

"Are you guys ready? Don't you dare make us late." He demanded, too loudly for the morning in Claire's liking. He then pushed their door all the way open with an annoyed glare. Claire watched him hesitate at Hill's door, probably to do the same thing.

She could hear Hill's voice say something abrupt, but she couldn't determine it. Whatever it was, Ferris rolled his shoulders back and walked away with another glare at both her and Samuel.

"Ho-oh, that guy is always so mad. His face is going to twist like that, watch." Samuel whispered to her humorously. Was Samuel joking with her?

She watched the teenager shift his clothes and look back at her.

"You should get changed and then go into our shared area. I'll hold Ferris off you." Samuel whistled softly and Garnish followed him with a swish of her tail in Toto's face. Her beloved pokémon followed the canine pokémon curiously.

The teenager shut the door quietly. Claire was hit with another sudden realization of where exactly she was, and that she was stuck there until she could gather enough information to try and leave. The dread of it rose in her as she got dressed, the motions of the action reinforcing that she was part of Team Rocket now, a true member. She hadn't even tried to escape before and now...

Well, thinking about it wouldn't change anything.

She could do this. One day at a time.

...

Hill was the one who remembered the way to the training area. Ferris attempted to argue with her, but Hill promptly ignored him and paced forward. The boy had gritted his teeth and seethed that if they were late, it would be her fault, and then they walked the rest of the way in silence.

The others had left their pokémon out, but Claire was nervous and had put Toto in his ball. She was half-scared Toto was going to dash off and try to explore.

The tone of the base was a far contrast from the busy backdrop that it was when they had first arrived. Instead, there were few people Claire could see moving about in the new light the rising sun provided. The dull orange had steadily grown into a fiery flurry of colors across the sky in their walk. Across the base, she could see the silhouette of Golden Rod's most towering buildings.

Hill had braided her hair close to her scalp, which Claire thought fit her well. The braids were done as methodically as Hill acted and ended right at her neck. It authenticated the roundness of her face. Her eyes seemed more intense in their dark regard. She wondered when Hill did it. The time it took her to do that probably was a couple of hours. Claire speculated if she couldn't sleep last night as well.

Instead of being eased when they found Captain Featherfrow waiting for them, Claire was just irritated that Ferris was angry now.

Claire had been mildly frustrated in only having to listen to someone prattle one when they had no idea what they were talking about could make you. That, a blend of the lack of sleep and the reality that they would be training for a few hours minimum, had put her hesitantly optimistic attitude into a cellar to die.

Featherfrow hadn't said a word as they approached her from across the field. She stood in the same pose and stared them down as they stood across from her. The woman was wearing the standard Rocket uniform but with a black jacket hanging over it loosely enough to give her a relaxed impression, which directly contradicted her demeanor.

Her hair, an even blue so pale it was almost white, was done in a sleek ponytail that hurt Claire's eyes. The belt wrapped around her waist matched the color, and her four poké-balls were dark grey.

What type of poké-balls were they? Or did she just choose the color?

The woman analyzed them and then frowned at what she saw. She walked around them in the off line they stood in, prowling like Mrs. Milkwoods' arbok.

"It's resolution, the bond between a pokémon and its master."

The woman's voice was calm, far steadier than it had been before. It made Claire uneasy. The casual but firm woman they had seen yesterday was drifting away. Something in the way she stood and spoke was unnerving. The person she was on the training grounds, Claire took notice, seemed to be far different than who she was off them.

"That bond defines who you are. What your pokémon have the potential to be. The bond you have with the individuals on your squad also defines your potential." Ferris shifted beside her, and all Claire could do was sit there as the woman scrutinized all of them. The sun was rising in the backdrop, and Claire wanted to watch it, but she didn't dare drift her attention away.

"Agent Gold, bring out your starter." Featherfrow said quietly. "We will begin the drills immediately."

The woman then grabbed one of the pokéballs on her hip in a practiced gesture. Yeah, Claire had a bad feeling about this.

"The only thing I want from you all today is to try and lay an attack on my ace. As soon as you do that, you may go to your designated lunch area." Captain Featherfrow said decidedly polite.

The next five hours were utterly terrible.

Captain Featherfrow's exeggutor towered over their pokémon and them like a giant. Well, Claire had a goofy image of exeggutor from her knowledge Before. However, this pokémon put it all to utter crap. He cried loudly, various voices joining in a shrill roar. The pokémon stomped like a beast, which shook the ground. The grass towering over its head jerked with every movement.

At first, Claire was struck by how weird the request was and that obviously there was a caveat since the woman had said lunch. Then, Featherfrow's pokémon started throwing them around like ragdolls.

The woman's face didn't change from the analytical stern that had been adapted onto it since they had started. She didn't say a word to her pokémon, and the pokémon didn't need any guidance.

Instead, her level 47 monster of a pokémon terrorized them. The pokémon literally sat there and batted them away with little effort.

For the first effort, it had been Ferris' order for his pidgey to swing in and peck the exeggutor. A quick bullet seed from one of the heads had practically knocked the bird pokémon out of the sky. They were all more cautious after that.

Stolen story; please report.

After countless attacks and attempts, all four of them and their pokémon had collected themselves for a plan. Claire was on the ground, wheezing slightly. She hadn't recovered from the bullet seeds she had received as background fodder. Toto was practically asleep on top of her, and she was trying to listen to what the other three were saying to just land a hit on the exeggutor.

"Regent can't move fast enough to hit him with any electric attacks, she ran out of static."

"Obviously," Ferris said through gritted teeth. The teenager was staring at the pokémon across the field from them with venom.

For whatever that was worth. Claire was going through the five stages of grief. She was never going to eat food again at this rate.

"Why the utter fuck are we doing this for?" Ferris raged beside her, and she was surprised he was angry enough to be vulgar. His face was clammy in rage.

"Well, she is probably trying to see how capable we are." Hill said, and she was looking at the exeggutor and their captain across the field from them. Claire winced in the state of her hair. Toto had tried to shoot a water gun, and the monster across the field from them had changed the trajectory with a casual roar.

It was one of the worst moments in her life so far. To watch Totodile spook, get frightened, and then shoot a jet of water physically harmless at Hill. That wasn't that bad, but Toto slammed into the girl's legs in his fear and shoved Hill into the dirt. The mental damage she took at the pure vitriol Hill shot her with her dark eyes would last a decade.

"We are getting walked like a rich women's persian, for fuck's sake." Ferris answered Hill's remark. Claire snorted from her place on the ground.

"Ferris, would you please not cuss around Gold." Samuel stated in a tired voice, which had Claire hiding the roll of her eyes. The dirt welcomed her sorrow.

"You call him by his agent name, but you forget mine? Are you really going to talk about manners when you can't even uphold basic courtesy yourself?" Ferris dug into him, seemingly okay with turning all his frustration and rage to their other teammate.

Toto yipped sadly on her chest and she patted him on the back.

"It's not his fault you are always acting like a child who can't control his anger." Hill said. "You are easy to criticize because you act like a dumbass."

"Gold is literally like eight. Please stop cussing around him." Samuel said again. Being talked about was giving Claire a complex, especially when she did not want to exist to them at all. Being perceived as a boy? Claire had accepted that months ago but it still made her feel like her skin was crawling with ants.

"What did you call me?" Ferris' voice was soft, softer than Claire had heard him speak before. The pidgey resting on his shoulder suddenly grew alert and focused its gaze on Hill.

He also sounded furious. Claire whipped her head to Hill to see the other girl make a face at him.

"I said you acted like a child, Talon. Are you going to prove me right?" Hill taunted, her mareep stirring from its rest at her feet.

"No, you said something else." Ferris said, slightly louder. Claire sat up, flinching at her aching body, and subtly backed away from the hostile duo. Samuel eyed her and backed away, prodding Garnish with his feet. Don't mess with crazy, Claire thought.

"What, the fact I called you a dumbass? Well, you are one." Ferris' face twisted before he snarled and walked up to Hill like he was going to swing at her any moment now.

They both recoiled in shock as a sandslash whirled in between the teenagers and cast a torrent of sand in between them and their pokémon.

"Well, you all failed, badly." Captain Feathfrow's voice rang out from to the left of them.

Even Ferris was silent as the woman walked forward with her exeggutor behind her. The beast that had been terrorizing them for hours stood silently now.

The sandslash was so big, Claire thought. So much bigger than she thought they were. His spikes look so cute, even if they were deadly in their appearance. This pokémon was obviously a battle one, yet he didn't look at Featherfrow for further guidance.

However, her wonder was immediately dulled by Captain Featherfrow's disappointment.

"Does anyone want to tell me how you grunts failed?" The woman said calmly, which gave Claire mild whiplash.

"We didn't land a hit on your ace." Samuel answered, looking nervous.

"You didn't land a hit on my ace, correct." They all watched as Captain Featherfrow's hand snatched out and grabbed Ferris' pidgey by the neck. The bird pokémon didn't even dare caw.

"The difference between alright trainers and prominent ones are teams that can work together. Most of the time, trainers will prepare and train and be lost when they stagnate at the last few badges. This is because they lack the grit, for one, and something else entirely." Captain Featherfrow said while she cradled the pidgey in her arms.

Ferris' face was ashen as they watched her soothe the bird pokémon with her thin hands who started chittering nervously.

"That concept is what I was tasked with when I was assigned with you. Not to just create a bond with you and your pokémon, but between you all as a team, as well. Everyone on this base undergoes this secondary training. It's not good enough to just be a trainer who can fight. It's not enough to be someone who can communicate with their pokémon on a level above the rest."

Then the woman pressed her nails into the wing of the pidgey, and Claire felt the sandlash's claws brush legs. The action sent shivers up her spine, and she looked to the left to see one of exeggute's faces looming over Samuel's shoulders.

"Orders have to be followed no matter what. Teamwork is essential to that."

The woman smiled softly and pinched her nails to one of the pidgey's feathers and yanked it. Claire flinched back at the shriek the pokémon released at the cruel action.

"You are all released for today. You are to report to your designated lunch hall, which is Hall B."

She let go of the pidgey as rivulets of blood pooled from its wings. Ferris clutched his pokémon to his chest as he glared venomously at the woman in charge of them.

What the fuck? Claire thought. The woman in command of them was a fucking psychopath. Her heart was beating in her ears.

The woman reached into the small pouch on her belt and tossed each of them one. Claire almost dropped hers, and Hill snatched hers quickly out of the air in the corner of her vision.

"These are your pagers. Keep them on you at all times. When they go off you either report to the nearest captain or follow orders previously given to you. Am I clear?"

Claire nervously shifted as she caught the small electronic, and the sandslash beside her brushed his claws on Toto's head, which made Toto tilt his head in fear.

Captain Featherfrow waited until they all nodded before grabbing the pokéballs on her belt to call back her pokémon one by one. The flashes swam in Claire's vision.

"You will report here tomorrow for the same training." She played with the small brown feather between two fingers, clicking her tongue at the blood.

"I hope you don't fail again." She said as an afterthought. Then she smiled at them once again. With that, she turned on the heels of her feet and left them all uneasy and mildly horrified in that training ground.

...

Claire's thoughts were overtaken by how bad her situation was in the agonizing walk back to their assigned living area. Toto was exhausted and had nudged his pokéball until she put him up.

The training from hell was fresh on her mind. Was their captain trying to unnerve them or was she genuinely that way? Obviously, her treatment of Ferris' pokémon was a threat for what would happen the next time they failed to land a hit on her exeggutor. She knew that there was no way they would have been able to land a hit on her ace, yet she had told them to do it anyway.

Captain Featherfrow wanted them to fail. She wanted them to be scared. That was almost worse than her just being crazy because that means Featherfrow had a plan to shape them or at least influence them for something in some way or fashion.

This meant that-

"Gold." Samuel said, stirring her away from her thoughts. Claire flushed in embarrassment at being caught not focusing on her surroundings. Oh, they were back in their shared living area. Had she really zoned out that much?

"Ferris went to his room to change and Hill is taking a shower. Are you going to wait in here?" The boy wrung his hands slightly, but he talked to Claire calmly. It eased her but also made her feel a little guilty for being so off in the first place.

"Yeah." Claire said, staring at their meager couch.

The teenager opened his mouth to say something else, but his growlithe rubbed her head against his legs.

"Okay, I'm going to change and then we can wait for Hill to finish to go to the lunch hall. Don't destroy the place." He added the last sentence like a joke. Which Claire was flabbergasted by, once again. Samuel was awkward.

Then he abandoned her, which left her stranded in this empty ass room that led to all of their sleeping space.

Claire needed to leave, holy shit. If Toto and her stayed she was going to get mauled by Captain Featherfrow's sandslash or brainwashed. Worse, the longer she waited the less likely she would be able to escape. She sat on the couch the exhaustion was further creeping up on her like a sludge.

All she had to do was wait for the right moment. Then she could hightail it to the Golden Rod police, tracker or not, and then-

"Why the fuck is there a kid here?" A rough voice said, and she looked up to see an older teenager with dark violet hair. His eyes were focused on her despite the disdain in his voice. Was this Ferris' roommate?

Claire stared at him, anxious all of a sudden. Something was off about this guy. She didn't like how he was eyeing her. His uniform was the same as hers, but he had multiple pokéballs on his belt and she couldn't tell how many.

"I'm-" She said, but was put off as he walked towards her.

"Do they just let pipsqueaks in? What are you, like ten?"

Claire was, in fact, ten. She wanted to tell this guy to fuck off, or some sort of insult for the general vibe he was giving off, but her body was intimidated. Maybe it was the part of her that was Ethan, scared of what was happening around them. Or maybe, it was her own cowardice and fear.

The guy, who was basically a man now that she was looking at him, leaned over the edge of the couch to peer at where she was sitting.

"Huh, something is off about you." He said, and that had Claire's guard up. The man tilted his head and his hued hair fell in front of his face. Seeing such a vibrant color was off-putting to her. Kids at the orphanage had strange hair, but it somehow fit him.

Wait, what did he mean by that?

"What did you say?" Claire said, like a blithering idiot.

"You, you aren't..." He said, and then he reached towards his belt and released a pokémon with a flip of his hand.

Suddenly, a distinctly tannish pokémon looked at her with pointed ears tilting at her. It had long tufts of fur almost like whiskers, which were moving as it studied her. Suddenly Claire felt one of the strangest sensations she had felt in either life, or it was some type of force pressuring her skull. The pokémon's thick tail swung side to side.

Was this a psychic pokémon? Fear laced through Claire, was he trying to read her mind? Fuck-

The pokémon reached forward with its three-fingered hand, and Claire felt like she was going to have a heart attack. She needed to leave, needed to run, but she couldn't move-

"What the fuck are you doing" The pokémon flinched back, its eyes moving to the voice that had rung out. She had never been so happy to hear someone than Ferris' mean voice in that moment.

Claire's body finally decided to listen to her and she scrambled away from the guy and his crazy ass pokémon. In her haste to get away, she basically fell off the couch.

"Fuck off, I was just messing with him." The older guy said, rolling his eyes and recalling his pokémon. Claire was just stuck staring at the guy as she freaked out. Did his pokémon read her mind? Did they know she wasn't who they thought she was?

Ferris didn't say anything in reply, instead, he glared at the man until the stranger rolled his shoulders back and sighed.

"Okay, it's not my fault newbies are so sensitive these days." He said and then he walked by after knocking roughly into Ferris' shoulder. He slammed the door on his way out.

What the fuck? Claire needed to leave, she needed to run immediately. There was no way in hell she was going to sleep by a crazy guy who was going to be messing with her head, literally.

"Gold, why didn't you yell or something?" Ferris said, voice sounding angry.

"What the hell was I supposed to do?" Claire said bluntly and then snapped her mouth shut when she saw Ferris look even more frustrated.

Hill walked out of her room with a towel pressed to her head. She looked at them in slight confusion, her darker skin contrasting with the white towels they were provided, and her hands stood out amongst the fabric.

"Ferris, why the hell are you yelling?" Samuel said, peering over Hill's shoulder and staring at him pointedly.

Ferris threw his head into the air in agitation.

"Our housemate is a fucking weirdo!" Ferris yelled and then proceeded to lock the door that opened out into the other barracks.

Samuel shot him a look of confusion and then turned to Gold.

"What happened?" Hill said, barreling forward past Samuel and setting the towel down on the back of the couch.

"First, I come back from that stupid training to change and then find my new roommate, who has purple hair and is a grown man. Then whatever, I can deal with all that dumb shit, but then-"

Ferris points a finger at Claire, and she wilts under the accusatory gesture.

"I come out here to see our friendly new roommate trying to brainwash our resident toddler-"

"What?" Samuel said and turned sharply to Claire, who was a few words away from just hightailing it, and looked over her.

"If that wasn't enough, we have to live with the bastard. A super child-friendly guy-"

"Ferris! Stop rambling. Ethan, are you okay? What happened?" Hill said, and her hands were still damp when she pushed Samuel aside to grab Claire's face to move it side to side, looking over her.

"It's fine-" Claire said, pulling away from the other girl and begging Samuel with her eyes to save her.

"No, it is not fine. We are stuck with a bitch for a captain, and then a fucking crazy-ass is my literal roommate!" Hill ignored Ferris and looked into Claire's eyes as if looking for something. Samuel was trying to calm Ferris down in the background.

"Okay, Ferris, you need to calm down. Ethan, can you tell me what happened?" Hill said, and the girl focused her eyes on the teenager in front of her.

Claire did not want to speak but she looked down and spoke anyway.

"He just walked in, and then he just let his pokémon out. I think he was trying to scare me." Claire lied. Hill stared at her and then pulled away. Clarie wrapped her arms around her chest.

"Ferris, are you sure that guy was trying to use his pokémon on Ethan?" Samuel said, and Ferris just gave up on glaring at them and started pacing.

"Do you think I'm lying? I have to sleep near this guy-"

"We can change the room arrangement." Hill interrupted. They looked at her as she stood there, crossing her arms.

"The guy isn't going to complain about having a room by himself, right? We'll move Ethan into my room, and then you can share a room with Samuel. If what you are saying is true, Ferris, none of us should be by him alone."

"Shouldn't we report this to the captain?" Samuel asked, his face twisting. Whether at the thought of sharing a room with Ferris or the idea of them living with the guy, Claire had no idea.

"We are in Team Rocket, you cannot be serious." Ferris said sarcastically, and the scorn coming from someone who had been valiantly pro-Rocket caught Clarie off guard.

Samuel's face twisted but took in Ferris' words without further complaint.

"He's right, Samuel." Hill said, and she met Ferris' eyes. "Let's move your and Ethan's stuff and head to the lunch room."

They moved, but Claire just stood there and watched them. Her back was to the wall. If Toto wasn't exhausted she would have brought him out to hug to her chest. The teenagers either had pity on her, or just didn't care, and let her be as they moved the stuff around. It was her stuff, even if it was just spare uniforms and some of Toto's care items, but-

The guy's voice kept ringing in her ears.

Something is off about you.

And Claire, stuck in one of Rocket's biggest bases in Johto with a fainted pokémon, no family, and orders had no idea what gave him that impression.

He knows, she thought. Fuck, they were going to torture her for information in a matter of hours, or-

"Ethan, we are about to head to the lunch hall." Samuel said to her softly. As if she was a deer about to run into the road. He was squatting in front of her. Claire nodded, blinking back to reality despite her panicked thoughts, and looked into the gazes of her assigned team.

They moved out the door, Ferris unlocking the door with a sour look, reaching up to nervously push his hair back as he did so. Then they walked out into the base, and all Claire could do was follow despite her racing thoughts.