“Farewell. I’m sorry for being such a lousy father.”

Rayza gasped as her eyes shot open. Cold sweat had gathered on her brow, and her heart was beating out of her chest. Her breath was hasty and uneven. It was that nightmare again. Yet, despite her body’s visceral reaction, there was this oddly vibrant, joyful feeling lingering in her chest. Before she could attempt to grasp its nature, it disappeared.

Taking a moment to compose herself, she found herself sitting in a chair beside her bed. It was dark out, and the air was cold - autumn was here, and it was coming in through the open window. Her mind was still a little fuzzy, but even in this state, she could tell there was something off. It smelled…nice. Where was the familiar smell of rotten ale that usually pervaded her home?

Glancing at her door, she could see it open, allowing her to see a perfectly tidy hallway. Where were all those books that usually lay strewn across the floor?

Most importantly of all, why was it so quiet? Where was the loud, ear-shattering snoring of…wait, she could hear snoring - albeit subdued. Rayza looked back at her bed, finding a girl in it that was happily dozing. Recognizing her as Goldie’s granddaughter Sally, Rayza finally remembered.

“Right…” She mumbled, leaning back in her chair. It had been almost three months since…that happened. As the image of that smug Order captain appeared in her mind, Rayza involuntarily grit her teeth. “Scum.” She thought as she stood up, going to close the window.

As she walked past the bed, she accidentally hit something with her foot. It slid across the floorboards and hit the wall under her bed - it sounded like paper. Was it…? Hastily dropping to all fours to check, Rayza found her suspicions confirmed.

There was a familiar, cutesy-looking cover barely illuminated by the bright moonlight under her bed. It was face-down on the floor, the pages dangerously close to a badly hammered nail. Luckily it didn’t rip the pages, she thought as she reached out to grab the book. Carefully lifting it over the nail, she pulled it out.

“A pipe dream.” Rayza mumbled as she examined the cover in the moonlight. It looked just like she remembered - but for some reason, the vibrant pink appeared more dull than it used to. Was it the time it spent out of her father’s bookshelf taking its toll? Or was it her jaded eyes perceiving it like this?

Rayza’s hands shook. Whatever the answer was, she wouldn’t like it anyway. So why bother asking the question? Instead, she should close the window. Would help with the shivering - and she wouldn’t want the poor girl sleeping in bed to catch a cold. Sally had enough on her plate as-is. Her father, too, had been taken by the Order.

There was a knock at the door. Sighing, Rayza closed the window, shooting one last glance at the outside before shutting the blinds. The moon was obscured by fog, she noted as she headed into the hallway. There was another knock, more energetic this time.

“Yeah, yeah. Coming.” She mumbled, reaching for the doorknob. However, as her hand touched the cool metal, a sudden sense of paranoia struck her. She was still holding the book - what if it was the captain coming back to take it from her? Sure, he’d said it wasn’t important to the Order…but what if that bastard changed his mind on a whim, just to screw with her? She wouldn’t put it past him.

“Who’s there?” Rayza asked, hands and voice trembling.

Why, though? Why was she so attached to this book? It had brought her nothing but disappointment over the years. Was it because it was the only thing she had left of her father? But even then, why would she care? He’d been a lousy father after all…right…?

“Rayza, open the door.” She knew that voice. “It’s Ionyr.”

Sighing, Rayza loosened her grip on the doorknob. She should’ve known - he had come to visit her every day since the murder. Yet she never did find the strength to open the door. Instead, she’d locked herself in this empty house.

Rayza didn’t want him to see her in this miserable state. She had busied herself with cleaning the house, top to bottom multiple times - thinking that since she was finally done with the deathly smell, she could enjoy a clean house. But somehow, it felt even emptier now, with the smell gone.

It made her want to die. Might as well. This house was so empty, it might as well become her tomb.

“Rayza.” Ionyr’s tone became softer. “I want…no, need to know if you’re okay. Please. Open the door.”

Rayza stood there, staring at the doorknob. She wanted, more than anything, to grab and turn it. Jump into Ionyr’s arms and bawl her eyes out. But she knew better than to do it. The last thing she wanted was to drag him down to her miserable level. So she kept staring at the doorknob, frozen in place. Like every other time he came to visit.

She could hear a sigh come from the other side of the door, followed by a thump as he seemingly leaned against it.

“I heard you are looking after Sally.” Ionyr said, pausing briefly, as if thinking on how to continue. “Is it…because her father…” He trailed off, hesitant and unsure of how to continue.

“Yeah.” Sighing, Rayza let her head fall against the door with a thud. “It’s because he was taken, too.” She continued, clenching her fists.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” He asked softly.

“No.” She said harshly. “No, I’m not.”

“Then why-”

“It’s the only thing I can do.” Rayza hissed. She would never be able to get back at that bastard for murdering her father. It was futile. Revenge was nothing more than a pipe dream. Like everything else she ever wanted.

What else was left to her except soothing a girl in the same situation as her? Except that little girl still had stars in her eyes - she still believed daddy would come home. Lucky her, Rayza thought bitterly, after all, Sally’s father was only forced to enlist in the Order’s army - he might live to see her again. But Rayza’s father was gone forever. There was no return from death.

“Rayza…I’m sorry to ask this, but…” Ionyr hesitated briefly. “Why are you so hung up about your father?”

Rayza’s fists clenched even harder. What was he saying?

“Didn’t he drink all the time?”

“Shut up…” She whispered between grit teeth.

“And didn’t he punish you unfairly every day?”

“Shut up…” She hissed, trembling from the intense fires of wrath burning in her chest. “How do you even know all this?”

“My Mom. The day we first met. When I told her how you helped me, she explained everything. That’s why I invited you to dinner that day.” He chuckled. “Though I was too embarrassed to tell you it was my idea.”

“So from the very start, you…” Rayza muttered, holding back the urge to tear open the door and lay into him. It was an entirely irrational rage, she knew that. But it hurt beyond belief to know that her entire relationship with Ionyr and his family was built on pity. Pity that she owed her father, too. Even now, everything she had, she owed to that man.

Rayza hated her father. So why was she so furious about all the bad things Ionyr said about him? It didn’t make any damn sense!

“Yeah…” Ionyr said, sighing. “Really, with all the stuff he did to you, I’m surprised you didn’t run away. Might’ve been better off-”

Rayza didn’t let him finish. Grabbing the doorknob, she twisted in and yanked the door open. Pulling him by the back of his collar, she threw him into the hallway. Before he could react, she dropped herself onto his belly, pinning him down and knocking the air out of him.

“You think I don’t know that?!” Rayza cried, punching him square in the jaw. “Every single day I spent with that man was suffering!” She threw another punch aimed at his nose - however, Ionyr managed to catch it.

“Then why are you so upset?!” He shouted right back, blood running between his teeth.

“You tell me!” She yelled, raising her other hand to deck him. “I spent three months of my life trying to figure it out, and I still don’t know!”

As Rayza threw the punch, Ionyr caught her wrist with blinding speed and squeezed tightly. Yelping in pain, she involuntarily unballed her fist. There was a sound of fluttering paper, followed by a soft thud. She’d still been holding the book, she realised. As she gazed upon its cover, the muscles in her body slacked as the rage left her.

Once the flames of rage left her body, she had a moment of soberness. There was nothing left clouding her vision. She could finally see her heart for what it was: small, broken and empty. Just like the place she once called home.

Despite hating it all her life, she missed that familiar smell of rotten ale. Cleaning up the house was an empty gesture without her father to mess it up. Without his sometimes unfair punishments, there was no one she could direct her resentment towards.

No matter how much Rayza had loathed their time together, it was all she had known. Without her father, this house wasn’t much of a home. Without him…she had no one to call family.

Tears welled in her eyes.

“Ionyr…” Rayza whispered, her voice quaking as the dam that held back her grief slowly gave way. “Why am I so broken?”

“What do you…” His eyes widened as one of her tears dropped on his face.

“I hated him.” She pulled her hands from his loosened grip to cover her eyes, but it barely hid her sobs. “So why? Why do I feel this way? Why can’t I be happy?!”

Rayza wailed, finally feeling the full extent of the fissure in her heart. The numbness. The emptiness. And the sadness that stemmed from it. All of it flooding her body, all at once, releasing the months of pain.

She suddenly felt a hand on her cheek. Opening her eyes, she found Ionyr discreetly pointing behind her. Following his gesture, her heart sank further. Sally was peeking out the doorway of her room, an anxious expression on her face.

Great, thought Rayza. First Ionyr saw her in this miserable state, and now Sally too. The girl that she was meant to cheer up. She felt Ionyr lightly tapping her thigh. Understanding his intent, she got off him, leaning against the wall, right beside a door. The tears had gotten stuck in her eyes.

“I’ll take care of her.” Ionyr whispered as he got up. “You got a good place where we can keep talking?”

“Right here.” Rayza said, sniffling before tapping the door beside her. “We got a reception hall.”

“Good.” Ionyr pat her shoulder and stood up. “Hey Sally. It’s been a while.” He said, heading towards the bedroom. “Let’s get you back to sleep, alright? Me and Rayza have a few things to talk about.”

Rayza quickly stepped into the reception hall, leaving Ionyr to deal with Sally. Being seen like this…she felt ashamed. Yet at the same time, it had eased the immense pressure in her chest. Perhaps this catharsis was what she needed all along.

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

She sat down on the guest’s couch in the middle of the room. It was the comfiest spot in the hall due to the blankets and pillows that were placed on it. Certainly comfier than the host’s couch, which lacked cushions and sat opposite it on the other side of the table.

Curling up into a ball, she wrapped herself in the blanket. This may be the most ornate room in the house, with various decorations lining the walls…yet she never truly felt comfortable in this room. Despite all the outwardly welcoming and fancy furnishing, Rayza always felt this room was the coldest in the whole house. Perhaps that was due to its actual purpose.

After all, this couch was originally meant for dignitaries of the Ashen Order - like most scholars, her father officially worked for them. The Order provided the funds necessary for her father’s research…among other things. The money needed for his extensive library, his drinking habit and even this very house came straight from its coffers.

Hence why the officials would continuously check in on him to see how his research had been going. Though as far as Rayza can remember, he’d never had much to show. Maybe that’s why they killed him. To save money. Would explain the trumped-up charge they used as an excuse.

Rayza looked out the window at the far side of the room. The clouds around the moon had cleared a little, illuminating the night just enough for her to see the outlines of the other homes in the distance. From this limited view, they seemed so far away.

The door opened, stirring Rayza from her thoughts. She went deeper into fetal position, lowering her gaze and covering more of herself with the blanket. As Ionyr sat down beside her, she didn’t move a muscle. He’d seen the worst of her. Twice, now. After he stayed with her through the execution, she threw punches at him. She was terrified - what was he going to say?

“Rayza, I…” He hesitated, and sighed. “I’m not good at these sorts of talks.”

“Me neither.” She thought, remaining silent and unmoving.

“Sorry for upsetting you.” Ionyr turned to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Didn’t mean to do that.”

“Don’t apologise.” She said quietly, with a trembling voice. “I’m sorry for hitting you.”

“No need.” He said, chuckling. “My fault for getting you upset. Though I have to say, I never knew how much you cared about your father.”

“You and me both.” Rayza thought to herself. “Wish I knew why.”

“Say, do you know why it happened?” He leaned back and stared up at the ceiling. “I didn’t know the old man well, but I don’t think he deserved it.

“Yeah. He didn’t.” She muttered under her breath.

“When I saw them drag him out, I tried to come as fast as I could, but…” Ionyr scratched his chin. “Never did find out what his crimes were.”

“Reading.” Rayza hissed. “Apparently, one of the books in his possession was heretical to the Order.”

“...did he?” He said jokingly. Upon seeing her glare at him, he raised his hands. “Sorry, that one was inappropriate. He does seem the type to do it, though.”

“Yeah…he does.” Rayza mumbled, sighing in defeat. “But I don’t remember seeing such a book.”

“Maybe he hid it from you?” Ionyr said absent-mindedly.

“Now why would he…” She scoffed at first, but when she thought about it…

“To protect you.” He concluded, scratching his chin. “Just a guess, though. Might be overthinking things…Rayza?”

She trembled as the realisation sunk in. The reason why her father had been so defensive about that bookshelf. He was afraid - afraid she might snoop too deep and find a book that could put her in danger. In fact, thinking about it, she had a sneaking suspicion on which book it was.

“Rayza, are you okay?” Ionyr knelt down before her, looking into her eyes with deep concern.

“Ionyr…” Rayza said, shaking as she stared through him into space. “I know which book it was.”

“Listen, that doesn’t matter right now.” He said, taking her hand in an attempt to comfort her - though despite his words, the curiosity was plainly written across his face.

“The book…it was a collection of myths and legends. It looked ancient.” Rayza said, gripping his hand tightly. He was already catching on. “One of those myths was that of the Creators.” Water started pooling in her eyes once again, the newfound guilt overshadowing her shame. “Ionyr, do you think I…?”

“No…no! It’s not your fault, Rayza.” Ionyr shot up and pulled her into a heartfelt hug. “It’s not your fault.”

“I took the book…told you the story…it is-” The words got stuck in her throat.

“It’s not your fault.” He said firmly.

“B-but I…” Her sobbing made it hard to speak. Ionyr pulled away and put a finger to her mouth.

“It’s not your fault.” He said, staring into her eyes with unwavering conviction. “I won’t let you blame yourself.”

“I…I…”

Something inside Rayza snapped. Realising she could let go, completely and utterly, she dug her hands into Ionyr’s back and held him tightly. He was so warm. So very, very warm. Violent sobs wracked her entire body as the tears poured out freely as she released all her held-in pain.

“Thank you…”

Her entire life, even though she disliked him, her father was the only constant in her life. These past months, without him, she only had herself to rely on. But now, at long last, she finally had someone to lean on.

“For being here…”

A steady rock the waves of her emotions can crash into without worry.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, her sobs subsided. The two were still close, with Rayza leaning on Ionyr’s shoulder and him gently caressing the top of her head. Her hair was completely messy, but she cared little now. It felt freeing.

“Thank you, Ionyr.” Rayza said, a light smile on her lips. “If you weren’t here, I think I would have broken for good.”

“No need to thank me. It’s what friendship is all about.” He chuckled, causing her to pout. Friendship. She never knew she could hold such disdain for that word - especially after how much she’d yearned for it over the years.

“Yeah…friends.” She sighed, twirling her hair. Her gaze drifted across the book on the table. The title appeared particularly mocking at this point. “A pipe dream, huh?”

“What is?” Ionyr asked, and she pointed at the book.

“The name. It’s ‘A pipe dream’,” She snorted. “Speaking of which, remember the Anoranth?”

“That big bug in the bluff? How could I forget?” Ionyr said, chuckling heartily. “What about it?”

“Ielus and I were wrong. It was never extinct in the first place.” Rayza said, with an empty laugh. “My father told me. Apparently, the book I read was a century old, and they’ve since grown in numbers.”

“But…what about Ol’ Goldie?” Ionyr said, sounding surprisingly hurt. “Why would she tell Ielus-?”

“It’s not a widely known fact outside of Scholar’s circles.” She explained, shrugging. Just a perk that came with her father’s status. “Anoranth hide themselves quite well, and Goldie’s generation was born when that book was written. That generation’s false knowledge lived on to this day - which benefited the surviving Anoranth.”

She sighed, leaning back and staring at the book. “That adventure was nothing but a pipe dream.”

“They hid themselves…knowing they were doomed if the truth ever came out.” Ionyr mused, seemingly ignoring her last comment. “No wonder the big one was so angry when she saw us.”

“She probably thought we were there to kill them.” Rayza said, nodding. “Didn’t help how you treated her baby.”

“Yeah, still feel guilty about that.” Ionyr said, laughing nervously. “Though there’s one baby I won’t be treating like that.”

He suddenly gave her a wide grin. Rayza raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was on about.

“What?” She asked, confused. “Which baby?”

“Looking at it.” Ionyr said cheekily.

“What are you on about? I’m not a baby.” Rayza said, before catching on to his actual meaning. Her cheeks instantly heated up.

“W-w-wha-” She stammered, causing him to start laughing uncontrollably. Gritting her teeth, she started punching his arm. “Don’t you laugh at me! Idiot! I should-”

“Sorry.” He said, catching her fists. “You’re cute when you’re angry. Couldn’t help myself.” His tone became sombre. “And besides…I just can’t get his last words out of my head.”

Rayza froze, thinking back. Why did her father ask Ionyr to look after her? It was the first time they’d ever met. Yet he instantly said something like that? Come to think of it…Spirits be damned. She buried her face in her hands. Looking back, that was basically her father giving Ionyr her hand! If the earth opened to swallow her whole, she wouldn’t complain.

“Rayza, I’d like to know.”

She turned to see him holding the book.

“What’s this book about?”

“It’s about a delusional girl’s silly little dream.” Rayza said, a broken wistfulness in her voice. “Says it on the cover. ‘A pipe dream’.”

“I see.” Ionyr said, grumbling as he flipped the first page. “Wish I could read this damn thing. All I can judge it by is its cover.”

“Honestly, if you judge that one by its cover, you might be better off..” Rayza mumbled, playing with her hair. “You won’t have to see the grim truth inside it.”

Ionyr closed the book, then handed it to her. As she took it, she ran her hands across the cover, looking at the faded pink. It annoyed her to no end, like it was mocking her for ever believing there was something more to life. Scoffing, she threw it back onto the table and dropped her head on Ionyr’s shoulder. Scoffing, she dropped it back on the table and put her head on Ionyr’s shoulder. Staring intently at the book, he wrapped his arm around her.

“Rayza?” He asked, pulling her close.

“Yeah?” She replied, absent-minded.

“Let’s get married.” Ionyr said firmly.

“Sure.”

Huh. That was easy.

…wait.

“Welcome to the family, Rayza.” Ionyr said. His voice was warm and kind, with no hint of his usual joking attitude.

“W-wait. D-d-d-d-did you just…?” She stuttered, looking at him flabbergasted.

“Yeah, I did.” He smiled at her. “Guess it was more than a pipe dream, huh?”

“B-but…you…I…we…” She couldn’t even form proper sentences.

“Well, you love me, right? Shouldn’t be a problem then.”

“I mean yeah, I do, but…wait. Hold on!” Rayza pulled away and stared at him, shocked. “...you knew?”

“You were really obvious with it, you know?” He laughed sheepishly.

Rayza curled into a ball. Her blush was so strong it felt like her face might explode. She could die of embarrassment right now.

“Though, I did need some convincing from my Mom. I was always so nervous around you that I wasn’t able to tell right away. After all…” Ionyr raised her chin and looked deeply into her eyes. Close. He was so close. Too close. “I love you too.”

Did she hear that right? Did he just…?

“Y-you do?” Rayza asked, her voice filled with hope for the first in a long time. “Really?”

“You know me. I’m not the lying sort.” Ionyr pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you, Rayza. I really do.”

“I...I love you too, Ionyr. I do.” She said shyly, glancing at his lips. Perhaps...he wasn't close enough.

As though he could read her mind, he pressed his lips to hers. It was a small, short peck - but it felt like the entire world suddenly faded away. All her worries and sorrow just popped in one go. Like bubbles that get too close to fire, nothing could survive the purging maelstrom of butterflies she got from that kiss.

“Wow…” Rayza mumbled as he pulled away, his forehead still pressed against hers. She wanted some more.

Ionyr chuckled as he gazed into her eyes. “You want some more, don’t you?”

She nodded shyly.

“I can tell what you want just based on your eyes…they do say it’s the window to the soul.” Brushing his lips against hers, his brown irises started overflowing with the very same desire. “And what I see…is beautiful. All of it.”

Her heart ached - how dare this idiot start waxing poetically all of a sudden? Right here, right now?

She forcefully pressed her lips to his, attempting to quench this burning desire. With the force she put behind it, Ionyr fell over. As he lay on his back, she climbed on top of him.

Did the door just creak?

Rayza shot up and checked, but the door was shut, just like before. Was it just her imagination? Was Sally up…? No, she would’ve just come in. Who else could it even be, at this hour?

“Rayza? You okay?”

“I think…” As she turned to face Ionyr, her gaze drifted across the book again. For some reason, its pink was all the more vibrant than before - even more so than when she first read it. ‘A pipe dream’...no, not anymore. This was a dream come true. If she was asleep, then by the Spirits, she’d enjoy every second before waking up.

“Just my imagination.” Rayza said, smiling.

“You know, when I said you were cutest when you’re angry…I was wrong.” Ionyr said, brushing his rough hand over her cheek. “You’re cutest when you smile.”

“Then you better do your best to keep me smiling.” She replied, giggling as she leaned down.

“Your wish is my command…sweetheart.” Ionyr said, awkwardly adding the endearment at the end.

“You’re more of a sweetheart than me, mister.” She giggled, running her hands through his hair. “But then again…if there is something I could wish for…”

Rayza didn’t even have to think about it. Her wish, her innermost desire, her pipe dream had been known to her from the start.

“I wish for a family.”

----------------------------------------

“The eons of waiting have paid off at last. We have found the right pair. Let us return their consciousness to the present moment. There is much to discuss.”