“So, ready to admit that we’re lost?”
“Nope.” Ionyr said, chipper as ever. “We’re simply exploring.”
“Well then, how about we go explore for the way out?”
“Rayza, Rayza. ‘Tis the journey that matters, not the destination.”
“You know what, you’re right.” Rayza smiled. “I should just enjoy the journey. So many sights to see on the way, after all.” She pointed ahead excitedly. “Look, a tree! Haven’t seen one of those yet!” She pointed in another direction. “Wow, look! Another tree!”
“Come on. We probably won’t ever return here.” Ionyr said, letting his hand drift through some hanging leaves while trotting forward. “Let’s appreciate this calming atmosphere as long as we can.”
“I would appreciate it a lot more if we knew where we were going.” Rayza sighed. “Well? Do you?”
Ionyr had no response. The glow of the Heart of the Forest overpowered the lights in the sky, regardless of whether it came from the sun or the moon. Using either of them to navigate was out of the question, and the foliage had gotten so dense that the sky wasn’t visible anymore. Which meant that they couldn’t orient themselves around the large tree, or any other landmarks for that matter.
Even telling the time was impossible in this place. Speaking of, how long had they been trotting around by now? Hard to tell without the light of day.
Still, he refused to admit they were lost. If he did, he'd never hear the end of it. And, more importantly, Rayza might let her fear take over, something he'd rather avoid. And he was certain she would, because the forest’s eerie silence was starting to get to him, too.
The trotting of hooves, hitting grass, dirt and mud with the same steady rhythm. One, two, three. Thump, clack, splash. Thump, clack, splash. Again and again.
Where were the animals? Why weren’t the birds singing? The insects buzzing? Why did they all leave them trapped in this silence with this maddening rhythm? Thump, clack, splash.
“Wanna admit we’re lost yet?” Rayza said with a noticeable hint of frustration. Couldn’t blame her. He was starting to go mad, too.
“Nope.” Ionyr’s chipper tone was getting increasingly strained.
“Well, do you know which way we’re going?”
“Of course. We’re following my nose.” He tapped it for emphasis.
“Oh, good. Here I thought we were just following your gut.” She rolled her eyes. “So, where does your nose say we should go?”
“Straight ahead.”
“So…the same way we’ve been going all this time?”
“Yep.”
She sighed, exasperated. “Well, not like I have any better ideas. Lead the way.”
“Like I’ve been doing all this time, you mean?” Ionyr said, his tone snippy.
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Rayza’s eyes suddenly went wide, and she pointed ahead excitedly. “Look!”
“What, another tree?”
“No, dumbass.” She groaned. “Just look.”
“Alright, alright.” Ionyr chuckled dryly and looked. By the Four, there was light. Light at the end of the tunnel. “Well I’ll be…” He paused and glanced at Ciel.
“Hm? What? You'll be what, exactly?” Rayza said, a teasing glint in her blue eyes. “Not damned, by any chance?”
Ionyr gave her a stern look. “Okay, first off - language.” Then his lips curved up into a smug grin. “Second off…first. First is what I’ll be. Hya!” He spurred his horse forward. “Last one there’s a rotten egg!”
“Hey!” He heard Rayza follow suit. “Every time with you!”
But he was too far ahead. He could already see it - the trees were parting. The light came from a large clearing, it seemed. He smiled as he galloped through the opening.
Huh. Looks like there were others in the forest besides them. There were burn marks from a campfire. Fresh, not even a day old. Above it hung a pot, with bits of stew stuck on the inside. Oddly familiar looking. Wow, there was even another giant tree in this clearing. Looked exactly like the Heart of the Forest, too.
“Drat.” Ionyr murmured, sighing. “Fine, you win. I admit it. We’re lost.”
Silence.
“Rayza?” Ionyr turned around in his saddle. She was nowhere to be seen or heard. Even the horse’s trots had fallen silent. “Not funny, Rayza. Come out!”
He desperately looked around the clearing, stopping when he saw a familiar auburn furball. A cold sweat gathered on Ionyr’s brow. The fox stared at him, his blue eyes filled with barely restrained malice.
“H-hey there, pal.” He said, his voice shaking. “Have you seen Rayza anywhere?”
The fox didn’t respond, sitting still and glaring at him from the shadows. Something was off about it. Wait…was the fox a Spirit, too? Couldn’t be. Looked way too ordinary compared to the stag. But the coldness in those eyes...it was unnatural. And increasingly unnerving.
“Brother…”
Ionyr snapped his head toward the voice. It couldn’t be - but it was.
A little more grown up than Ionyr remembered, sure, but unmistakably Ielus. But his entire body was battered, so much so that he was crawling on the ground in a pool of blood. His whole face was bruised. Besides a black eye, a bloody nose and lips he was also missing a few teeth. His legs looked broken and twisted beyond any kind of use.
Why was his brother here? How did this happen? What kind of monster would do this to him?
“It hurts…” Ielus groaned, looking up at him pleadingly.
“Hold on, I’m coming!” Ionyr said, shaken from his stupor. As he hopped off his horse and turned around, he found…nothing.
Ielus had disappeared. Leaving not even a trace.
“A hallucination…?” Ionyr surveyed the area. Even the fox was gone. Leaving him alone in this eerie silence. He reached to his horse for comfort.
His hand touched empty space. Spinning around, he found it gone, too.
“You’re joking.” He said, his heart beating louder. What’s going on here? “Have I gone crazy?”
“Ionyr!” That was Rayza’s voice! He found her peeking out from behind the Heart of the Forest, beckoning him over. Relieved, he let out a sigh. “Come on, the fox is taking us to the exit! Last one there’s a rotten egg!” She teased, disappearing behind the tree.
“Wait up!” Ionyr yelled back, heading to where she was with large skips. “And you were mad at me for running off, you hypocrite!” He teased, and as he rounded the tree…she was gone. Again with this. “Where…”
“Over here!” Her voice came from the forest.
“Coming!” He broke into a dash.
“Hurry up, or you’ll fall behind!” Something was off.
“Rayza! Wait up!” Desperation leaked into his voice. He ran straight through a low-hanging branch, smashing it to splinters that dug into his forearm.
“This race is mine…!” Something was off.
“Please…wait…!” No matter how fast he ran, her voice only became more distant. He could barely hear it over his thumping heart and heavy breathing.
“AHHH!”
A horrible scream. Anguish. Pain. Fear.
It was so close, and so sudden that Ionyr’s ears rang. Without a word, he ran towards the sound, breaking through an entire forest’s worth of underbrush, emerging in a small gap between the trees. There was a lump in his throat.
There was a lush patch of grass there, and on it, in a pool of blood, lay Rayza. Her empty, soulless eyes were fixed on him, a dead smile on her lips.
“No…” Ionyr immediately knelt down beside her and took her hand. No pulse. “No, no, no…” He listened for a breath. “Please, no…fuck!” He put his hands on her chest and began pumping.
Blood spurted through his fingers. Lifting his hands off her, he felt bile rising in his throat, pushing against the knot there. Her body was riddled with holes. As though a giant monster had sunk its fangs into her.
Funny. The culprit was staring him in the face, just across from him. With cold, blue eyes.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” Ionyr said to the fox sitting just across Rayza's body. The animal glared at him as though this were his fault. Underlining his ice cold stare by baring his fangs, the fox sniffled before letting out a venomous snarl. “How could you?” Tears pooled in Ionyr's eyes, blurring his vision.
“This is your fault.” Said the fox.
“My fault…? My fault?!” Ionyr hissed, his fingers curling into a fist. “You killed her!” He paused as he had a sudden realisation. “You…you did that to Ielus, too. Didn’t you?”
The fox glared at him silently.
“Answer me!" Ionyr roared, rearing back his fist."You did it! Didn’t you?! ” He struck the fox, making it fly through the air, keeping his hate-filled gaze on Ionyr fixed all the way. As he hit a tree, the fox burst, leaving only a shroud of black dust.
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Panting, Ionyr stared into space, his vision blurry and unsteady. Relax, he told himself to no avail. Empty. That’s the best way to describe how he felt. Terribly empty. He looked back down at Rayza. Black crust was forming on her left side.
It was like he was paralysed, unable to move. All he could do was watch her wither away.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. His head snapped that way, and he just barely caught a glance of a young girl staring at him.
“A warning.” Her lips didn’t move. Whoever spoke, it wasn’t her.
Suddenly, he felt a cold sensation in his heart, followed by an intense heat. Before he could react, flames burst from his chest, consuming him and the entire forest around him. The last thing he saw was the girl’s black hair swaying in the flames, and her eyes, as empty as he felt.
Two small teardrops were running down her cheeks.
----------------------------------------
“Ionyr! Wake up!”
Startled, he blinked to regain his bearings.
The clearing was gone. He was out in a small cave, illuminated by the faint embers of a campfire. His fist was embedded in the rocky wall. The knuckles on the other hand were bleeding. Rayza was desperately pressing her lips to his.
Rayza was alive. Thank the Four, it was just a nightmare. He immediately relaxed and hugged her tightly, his arms quivering. She pulled away her lips and returned the embrace.
“You're alright.” Ionyr’s voice was anything but steady. A voice crack made his statement sound like a question. Maybe it was.
“I should be asking that, idiot.” She replied softly, caressing the back of his head. “You gave us a real scare this time.”
“I thought I lost you.” He croaked. “Both of you.”
“We’re here. Both of us.”
“I know.” He said, pulling away. “But in my dream…” He paused, then pulled away and met her worried gaze. “I saw you dead…and Ielus too.”
“I see." She paused briefly. "So you remember it this time?”
“Vividly.” Ionyr raised his palms, staring intensely at them. “I still remember the blood on my hands…from your wounds…”
“That’s enough.” Rayza closed his palms and gently clasped her hands around them. “It was just a nightmare, nothing more.”
“A warning.”
The echo of those ominous words still reverberated within, deeply impregnated into his mind. But perhaps for his own sanity’s sake, he tried pushing them aside in favour of Rayza’s soothing words.
“You’re right.” Simply seeing her alive and well eased his fears somewhat. “But…”
“Worried about Ielus?” She asked, stepping away and throwing on her cloak.
“Yeah.” Read him like a book.
“Then let’s make haste. Postitia is still a month’s ride away.” Rayza bent over to pack their things. He couldn’t help but stare.
By the Four, he loved that woman. It felt like forever ago that they were trying for a child. Now that they had one…he kind of missed their passionate nights. And seeing her stretch out her rear like that was like throwing meat before a hungry wolf.
“You gonna help or what? Camp won’t pack itself.”
“Right, yeah.” Not the right time, Ionyr. He slapped himself mentally. But he couldn't get the image of her broken body out of his mind. All of a sudden, he was keenly aware of how fragile she was. He walked up beside her and kneeled down. While cramming his blanket into his satchel, he glanced at her face.
By the Four, he loved those blue eyes. Those tender lips. He wanted to ravage them.
Not the right time.
“What are you looking at?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.
Well, when is the right time, when she's dead?
“The love of my life.” He said with a smile.
“Such a charmer.” Rolling her eyes, she went back to packing. Her red cheeks betrayed her excitement, however.
Screw it. You only live once.
“Say, Rayza.”
“What?”
He slapped her butt, causing her to yelp. “Let’s give Ciel a sibling.”
She winced and pushed his hand away. “I thought you were worried about Ielus. Where’s this coming from?”
“I think growing up with a sibling would help her with…you know.”
A lame excuse. But hey, they'd used worse excuses before. Like their hundred-attempt anniversary...of failing to get her pregnant. Particularly fun, that night.
Rayza sighed. “Sorry, but no.”
Wait. What did she say?
“No?”
“I’d love to, don’t get me wrong, but…” She nodded toward their daughter, staring at them from her spot on the ground. “Not in front of Ciel.”
But the two of you are basically glued together.
“So…never, then?” Ionyr asked tentatively.
During Ciel's naps, perhaps? Plenty of time.
“When we get home, maybe earlier when we get the chance.” Rayza said, throwing her satchel over her shoulder.
Maybe? Maybe?
What happened? It didn’t feel that long ago that she would’ve jumped at the opportunity. And all this time, he’d taken those nights for granted. How often had they made sweet love during their travels? Every sketchy inn, every damp cave was another chance to consummate their marriage anew, and many times, the stars had been the witness to their escapades. And now, the Creator’s Star was denying him that pleasure?
Ciel bore no blame for this, she was just a child, not even past the newborn stage. Yet Ionyr couldn’t help but feel a tinge of resentment towards her.
What an awful father you are, he thought to himself.
“Can you hold her for a moment?” Rayza lifted up their daughter’s sling and went to tie her around his shoulder.
How ironic. The Four must really want to twist that knife, huh?
“Sure, no problem.” He mumbled as she tied the knot around his neck. Ciel was staring at him curiously. As usual. Though she seemed a little bigger than he remembered her being during yesterday’s ride out the forest.
Rayza went back to packing up, leaving him alone with the Star.
“Good morning.” He faked a smile and stroked Ciel’s hair. “How’re you doing?” No response. “Dunno what I was expecting.”
Ionyr sighed and grabbed his satchel on his way out the cave. His horse snorted upon seeing him.
“Hey pal. Sorry for scaring ya.” He pat the steed’s nose and attached his satchel to the saddle.
“You ready?” Rayza asked, exiting the cave with their full bags on her shoulders.
“Yeah.” He untied his steed from the tree and hopped on.
“Then to Postitia we ride.” After fastening the bags to the saddle, she did the same and spurred her horse forward.
“Off we go.” He mumbled, looking back one last time.
The forest sprawled out before him. In the distance, far above the myriad of lesser trees, its Heart pulsed with a steady blue glow, blending against the gold of the rising sun. Seems like it would be a nice day today, at least. As he turned around to follow Rayza, he caught a glimpse of orange fur in his peripheral vision. He snapped his head to look again, but there was nothing, and no one, to be seen.
“A warning.” Ionyr shook his head, as though that would banish the memory. After turning around, he did the best to put it out of his mind for now and made his horse trot after Rayza.
“You know…” He said after catching up. “I think Ciel’s gotten a little heavier since yesterday.”
Rayza rolled her eyes, sarcasm practically oozing from them. “What, is Papa too weak to hold his darling daughter? Need me to take over?”
“Oi.” He said in a most deadpan tone. “I might be a humble guy, but I do think strength is one of my strong points. And I take great pride in that fact, I'll have you know.”
“I vaguely recall that time I had to catch you from falling off a cliff. I know two days is a long time, but I’m certain you still remember that impressive feat of strength.”
“Come on, that was different, and you know it.” He scoffed. “As long as I can move, I can muster up the strength to move mountains.”
“Oh really?” Rayza raised an eyebrow, clearly doubtful.
“Of course.” He gave her a wink. “For my darling only.”
“Ah, of course.” She chuckled. “Then you can hold her for a while.”
Not what I meant. Ionyr let out a sigh and absent-mindedly patted Ciel’s head through the cloth sling. He felt her staring at him, so he looked down and gave her a smile.
“How’re you holding up, Ciel?”
She stared at him, then looked at her mother. He felt her arm moving beneath the cloth, then a small finger poked out under her chin, pointing at Rayza.
“Pa…pa?”
By the Four, what an adorable voice. He could listen to that voice for hours.
…wait.
“Did she just…?”
“Yeah. She did.” Rayza said, her mouth open. She then proceeded to pout and shoot him a glare. “I can’t believe her first word was ‘Papa’ though.” He couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “It’s not funny! I spent two days carrying her, and she calls for you the very first time you hold her!”
“Hey now, that's not my fault.” He said, wiping a tear from his eye. “I think she meant you, though. She's pointing at you.”
“Agreed.” She was still clearly miffed, but put on a smile and pointed at herself. “Ciel, say Mama. Ma-ma.”
“Ma…ma?” Ciel said with a confused blink.
“Yes! Mama!” Rayza said, squealing ecstatically. “You’re such a quick learner!”
Perhaps too quick, Ionyr thought.
“Ma…ma. Also…move…mountain?”
Seriously. Way too quick. While she was struggling to form the sentences, her pronunciation and articulation were scarily accurate.
“No, no.” He said with an uneasy chuckle. “That’s just me.” He pointed at himself. “Papa.”
“True.” Rayza said with an annoyed sigh. “Papa’s head is thicker than most mountains, so they just get out of his way.”
“What…Mama…do?” Ciel asked, tilting her head.
“Mama makes sure Papa doesn’t challenge every mountain we come across.” Ionyr said, giving Rayza a wink.
“Mama…smart.”
“Oh great.” Ionyr groaned and facepalmed. “Now there are two of them.”
“Two smart, thoughtful women to keep you in line. You should be grateful, darling.” She teased with a chipper smile.
“Sure, why not.” He sighed. “You’re real talkative all of a sudden, though.” Ciel stared in silence, confused. “Kind of weird for a newborn.”
“Weird...?”
Oops. He let that one slip. Rayza was already glaring at him. Quick, damage control!
“Uh…no, not weird at all!” Ionyr laughed nervously. “You’re just a fast learner is all.”
Too fast.
“Fast…learner.”
Despite the deadpan tone, Ionyr had a gut feeling that she wasn’t convinced. Rayza quickly jumped in to help.
“Don’t worry about it, Ciel. It’s just who you are.” She smiled. “After all, you’re our daughter.” As Ciel looked to him for confirmation, Ionyr laughed nervously.
“Yeah. You’re our daughter.” He said, a tremble to his voice. Too many mixed feelings to hide, but thankfully Ciel didn’t seem very adept at reading emotional cues. Not yet, anyway. “Nothing weird about our daughter being a smart cookie. It would probably be weirder if you weren’t.” He laughed awkwardly.
“Exactly.” Rayza laughed along. “Would also be weird if you didn’t grow up to be a strong cookie, too.”
Oh? He liked this game. Sure, let's play. She already knew what he was betting.
“Or a beautiful cookie.”
“A charming cookie.”
Good one. But he wasn't losing this one.
“With excellent handwriting.”
“And, uh…”
Ha. Victory.
“A sharp tongue.” Ionyr said with a cheeky grin.
Rayza rolled her eyes. “Fine, you win.”
He laughed, rejoicing in his sweet, sweet victory. Now, this was most certainly a good day. Well, when night came, anyway.
Ciel glanced between the two of them, confused. “What…did Papa…win?”
“You’ll know when you get older.”
“You’ll know when you get older.”
They said in unison. Looking at each other, he and Rayza shared another laugh as the sun rose over the horizon, coating the valley in their golden glow.
You know what, Ionyr thought, maybe this isn’t so bad.