A disgustingly familiar smell filled Rayza’s nostrils, causing her to wrinkle her nose. Groaning, she pinched it shut and opened her eyes. The sight of her bedroom greeted her. While blurry at first, it quickly became clearer. Despite her best efforts, the stiff, pungent odour wafting in under the closed door forced its way into her nose to torment her senses some more.
On top of that, the soreness in her right cheek from the night before hadn’t faded either - probably swollen. Perhaps that’s what she deserved. Who else would be dumb enough to stick around in this dump? What a great way to start the day, she thought as she got out of bed and left her room.
There were bottles strewn all over the hallway, some still slightly full. Sighing, she began cleaning it up. Spirits knew her father wouldn’t. Briefly peeking her head into his study confirmed her suspicions - he was out cold, snoring his head off. She immediately gagged, feeling bile rise up her throat as the putrid smell invaded her nose once more, with twice the force.
Shutting the door, she held a hand in front of her mouth to make sure she didn’t vomit before going back to her cleaning duties. After putting all the bottles back into the wooden crate, she heard a knock at the front door.
Sighing, she droppied the crate beside it and opened the door…yep, it’s the postman, as usual. And he was already pinching his nose shut, as usual. Not that she could blame him. It felt like she stepped out of a crypt, with how fresh the outside air was compared to that of her home.
“Hi, Rayza. Got some mail for your father.” The postman said, handing her a stack of letters. Most of them bore the names of their relatives, but one was sealed with red wax bearing the Ashen Order’s seal.
“Thank you.” She politely bowed. His eyes were filled with pity, but it wasn’t unusual. She always saw it, no matter whose eyes she looked into. It would drive her mad if she weren’t completely numb to it by his point. After placing the crate outside the front door, she headed back in.
What else was there even to do? Rayza had no energy, but didn’t feel particularly hungry, either. Just kind of tired, like she was just going through the motions today. She slowly trudged through the house, opening the windows to let the smell out, before stopping at the study’s door. Peeking her head in, she saw her father still soundly asleep.
Maybe…yeah. Not like she had anything else to do. Now’s as good a time as any. Slowly, carefully, she snuck inside while making sure to avoid the loud, creaky floorboards. Her target was the large bookshelf beside his desk - specifically, there was one book in particular she was after.
Rayza could see it peeking out at the very bottom of the shelf. Its cover was neat and tidy, looking entirely unused. When she last cleaned up the remains of her father’s drinking habits, it had caught her eye. The weirdly cute, pink cover looked odd compared to all the other dusty tomes, like it didn’t belong in a scholar’s study.
The boards suddenly creaked. She froze. Her father wasn’t snoring anymore. Quickly, she thought, grabbing the book and quietly darting out the door. Rayza ran back to her bedroom and hid under the covers. Panting, she examined her prize. Its binding was not made of leather, but instead an oddly smooth paper.
There were three people on the cover. A man, a woman, and a girl. They looked happy. Maybe that’s what a real family looked like - at least, that’s what she’d imagined when she first laid eyes upon it. It was like the cover had spoken to her - whispered directly to her soul.
“Home. Family. Joy.” Is what it had said. Rayza wondered whether she could be happy, too. Even without a mother.
Flipping open the first page, she was surprised to see its contents. This wasn’t the first book she’d read - her father had taught her how while teaching her about various forms of wildlife, what to be careful of and what she could eat in a pinch. She’d also stolen other books that looked interesting. But those all had been scholarly works. Map atlases, wildlife lexica and history books - the usual scripts that scholars read.
But this…this was a story - about people. With a sudden sense of wonder, she read on. It was a very simple story. The family lived in a small farm village. As she read, Rayza learned of their day-to-day life. They went out and played. Ate dinner together. The father read his daughter bedtime stories, and helped his wife with the chores.
It sounded fun. The more she read, the more jealous she found herself being of that girl. It was silly, though. She wasn’t even real. She and her entire family. Yet still, Rayza found herself pining after that fictional life.
“What do you want?” She said, trying her best to hide the book behind her back. His breath reeked of alcohol - he was still drunk. Unfortunately, despite his drinking problem, her father was still sharp - relatively speaking. Ruffling his incredibly messy, unkept beard, he hiccuped again.
“You’re hidin’ something. Don’t tell me you’ve been snooping around my bookshelf again.” He narrowed his eyes. “Stand up.”
She shook her head. “No.”
“If you’ve got nothing to hide, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” He grinned devilishly and grabbed her arm, pulling her off her bed. Upon seeing the book she was hiding, his jaw dropped slightly. He glanced at her, then back to the book. She closed her eyes, expecting another of his drunken punishments - but the pain never came. Instead, her father burst into loud, mocking laughter. “That? You were worried about me seeing that? Silly girl!
Tears welled in her eyes. Maybe it was silly. Maybe the idea of a perfect family was only possible in a book. But at least the dream was better than this. As his laughter calmed a little, her father picked up the book and handed it to her. Eyes wide, she could only stare for a moment.
“Go on, take it. How far did you get?” He asked, shoving it into her hands.
“J-just the first chapter…” She said, hesitantly pressing it to her chest. “I liked the family…”
“The family, huh?” Her father seemed a little sombre. Whenever he got into this mood, Rayza was reminded of the man he used to be. Before her mother died. It was like this was his real self, and his drunkenness was just a curse that obscured it. She felt comfortable around him in this state. Perhaps it was the last thing keeping her from running away. “Rayza, if you like the way that family is shown, don’t read on.” He caught her inquisitive glance. “Seriously, don’t. Unless you want to see that idyllic dream of yours shattered.”
“What do you mean?” She asked, almost out of reflex. Did she really want to know? Some part of her was telling her not to listen to his answer.
“Since you asked for it - both parents die.” He said bluntly, taking some coins from his pouch and beginning to count them.
“…what?” Rayza was stunned. Her grip on the book slackened.
“Yeah, both. The daughter starts having mad delusions where they still live together.” Grabbing Rayza’s pouch from her nightstand, he slips some silver coins in. “That’s why the cover looks like that. Overly cute and romantic. It’s nothing more than a pipe dream.” He tossed the pouch at her. “Catch.”
It bounced off the book and plopped on the ground. The sound of the clinking coins was deafening. Her grip on the book slipped, and it landed with a thud on its back, opening to a page in its middle. Still in a stunned stupor, Rayza kneeled down to pick it up, her empty-minded gaze lingering briefly upon the page.
“Mom? Dad?” It read. “Get up….please…weren’t we going to be together forever?”
A whirlwind of emotions flared inside her core - yet none of them reached outside. She simply closed the book and threw it onto the bed whilst pocketing the pouch. Turning to head out, she opened the door.
“The usual?” She asked, her voice void of emotion.
“Yeah. Get yourself something too. Gonna need it, ‘fore you starve.” Her father said before loudly burping and cursing.
Rayza left the house with a blank mind. On the way to Old Goldie’s shop, she chastised herself. Just like the girl in the book, she’d let her head go to the clouds. How silly of her. As though she could have a life like that. It only existed in fiction. Her gaze downcast, she recounted what she had to buy.
Booze for her father. Food for herself - and a rough idea as to what to cook. Like the mother in the book…damn it Rayza, just drop it! That life isn’t for you! She cursed herself, but couldn’t put it out of her mind. Violently shaking her head, she continued heading down the road to Goldie’s shop.
As she was about to turn the corner, something came charging around it and hit her in the shoulder. Yelping, she fell on her bum. The pouch loosened from her belt and the coins spilled everywhere. Someone ran by her as she lay knocked over on her back. Just her luck.
“Ouch.” A boy’s voice mumbled next to her. Turning her head, she saw a boy roughly her age pushing himself off the ground, checking his face for bruises. “Well that smarts.”
“Yeah, that smarts.” Rayza thought, grumpily pushing herself into a sitting position. The boy noticed her, then, as he looked around, noticed all the coins on the floor. Grumbling, she started picking them up one by one while giving him a stinky side-eye.
“Did I do that?” He asked, pointing at the mess of silver on the floor.
“What do you think?” She rebuked, dumping a handful of coins into the pouch. Great, the impact on the floor made a hole on the bottom, too. How would she carry them now? Her father would kill her when she got back!
“Sorry about that. Here.” The boy said, handing her a pouch from his own.
Taken aback, she blinked. Cautiously, she took the pouch from him, eyeing him with suspicion before opening it. There were a few coppers in there. Before she could ask him what this was about, he’d already started picking up the coins on the floor and dropped them inside the pouch he’d given her.
“It’ll go faster if we both do it.” He said absent-mindedly, while picking up another handful.
“R-right.” Rayza said, before sitting up onto her knees and continuing the cleanup. As she dropped a few coins into the pouch, she paused. “Why are you helping me? I’m a complete stranger.”
The boy also paused briefly, scratching his chin. “Good question. I guess it would be my mother’s doing.”
“Your mother?” She asked, holding out the clinking pouch.
“Yeah. She taught me many things. Like making up for one’s mistakes.” He chuckled. “And believe me, I make a lot of those.” He dropped the last few remaining coins where they belonged. As she tied the knot, he stood up and held out a hand. “Also, I should always help a lady in need.”
Rayza felt her cheeks heat up, and she cast down her gaze to hide her blush. Taking his hand, she let him pull her onto her feet. “Thanks…” She mumbled, leaving her hand in his for just a few moments longer than it should.
“You good?” He asked, tilting his head.
“Yes!” She nodded violently, letting go. Twiddling her thumbs, she realised she’d never felt this way before. It was like there were butterflies in her stomach. “Um…what’s your name…if I may ask?” She turned up her eyes, meeting his gaze shyly.
“It’s Ionyr. And yours-”
“Come on brother, hurry up!” Another voice interrupted him. A sudden panic spread on Ionyr’s features. “He’ll catch us!”
“You’re right, Ielus! I’m coming!” He put a hand on her shoulder. “Sorry, gotta run. Keep the change, it should pay for the ripped pouch.” He said apologetically before taking off. “See you around!”
Before she could ask what was happening, she could hear heavy footsteps approaching from around the corner. Turning her head, she could see the butcher charging after the two brothers.
“Just wait until I get my hands on you! I’ll flay you and feed you to the hounds!” He yelled, raising his fist.
Rayza didn’t know what came over her at that moment. But as the burly man angrily stomped past her, she held out a leg - causing him to trip and fall flat on his face, taking her with him to the floor.
“The hell did you do that for, girl?!” The man shouted at her, but when he saw the torn skin on her shoulder and leg, he cursed. Looking back and forth between her and the two brothers, he was seemingly trying to decide his next course of action.
Glancing in their direction, Rayza could see Ionyr’s distant figure looking back at her gratefully. Hiding a smile, she did her best to ham up her injuries. “Ouch! Mister Butcher, that really hurt! Why did you do that?!” She cried.
What was she doing? Ionyr was by all accounts a complete stranger. Why was she lying to the nice old man? He’d been so good to her over the years, too - given her many discounts and freebies. So why was she repaying him like this?
“Lucky little bastards.” The butcher mumbled beneath his breath. “Your mother will hear about this!” He shouted after them, before picking her up. “Come on, Rayza. Let’s get you patched up.” He winked. “I’ll also give you a discount on the meat - you’ll get the best cuts!”
“Thank you, sir.” She said, smiling - she was grateful to the butcher, no question…but she was also oddly satisfied with herself. Having helped that boy this way…felt good. Being helped by him…also felt good. It made her feel like she wasn’t struggling through life all by herself.
She hoped she would see him again soon.
Her vision went white.
----------------------------------------
Rayza blinked. Why did she have this warm feeling in her chest? It felt like butterflies were happily fluttering about. Also, what was she doing in the entryway of her home? Her hand was on the knob of the door. Before she could assess the situation, there was another knock from the other side.
Right, someone had knocked earlier, while she was still busy deciding what to cook. Sighing, she opened the door, expecting another set of letters from the postman.
“Hey.” Oh Spirits. It was Ionyr.
Rayza slammed the door in a panic, trembling. Upon glancing at the mirror beside her, she instinctively started tying her hair into a tidy ponytail and wiping the folds from her clothes. After tidying herself up, she flung the door open again.
“...hii.” She said shyly, flashing a small, polite smile.
“...hey.” Ionyr said slowly, chuckling awkwardly. “Told you I’d see you again.”
“Yeah.” She giggled. “You did.” There was an awkward pause. Twiddling her thumbs nervously, she tried to fill the silence. “So…what brings you here?”
“Well, besides my promise, I told my mother about what happened earlier. She wanted to invite you to eat with us.”
“Huh?” Did she hear that right?
“It’s her way of saying thanks for helping us out.” His eyes widened slightly when he saw the bandages around her leg and shoulder. Guilt flashed across his face. “I’d be happy if you accepted.”
“Of course!” She said, a little too enthusiastically. Seeing his surprised expression, she immediately cleared her throat and put on her polite smile once again. “It would be rude if I didn’t.”
“Sweet! Come on then!” Ionyr grabbed her hand before she could protest. The butterflies in her chest swirled with nervous excitement.
“W-wait! My father -” She said out of reflex, before stopping herself. What was she going to say? That her father would forbid it? That she needed to cook for him? And for what? It wasn’t like he was grateful at all.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“What about your father?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “Ah.” Recognition flashed across his features, and he let go of her hand. “Sorry.”
Darn - she actually enjoyed the feeling of the swirling butterflies in a way. Now they settled down, slightly disappointed. “Nevermind.” She said, shaking her head and sighing. “Let’s go.” Shutting the door behind her, she followed him to his house.
It turned out to be rather close to the edge of town, but still only a short walk away from hers. It was a quaint little cottage, with a small garden surrounded by a fence lined by beautiful flowers of all colours of the rainbow.
A far cry from the barren dirt and untended lawn around her home. Rayza actually recognized a lot of these plants from the books she’d read. From the yellow Summer Daisies to the azure Preacher Blooms, there were so many in this tiny little garden. She couldn’t help herself. Kneeling down beside a row of Firemane Roses, she plucked one and sniffed it.
It had a strong, piercing odour, like fire was invading her nostrils. Yet underneath was a warm, sweet scent that softened the impact. Rayza sighed, delighted. How many days had she spent in that morgue of a home? How many days had come and gone, with her learning about the outside world through some dusty tome? How many days had been wasted without her actually experiencing anything she read about?
“Smells good, doesn’t it?” Ionyr had crouched down beside her.
“Y-yes.” She said, trying to hide her embarrassment.
“Can I have a whiff?” He reached for the flower, and she handed it to him.
“You have a very nice garden.” She said, letting her gaze wander along the other flowers.
“My brother will be happy to hear that.” He said, chuckling and giving her back the flower. “He takes care of it.”
“And he does not appreciate you plucking the flowers.” Another voice said from over the fence.
Rayza looked up to face another young boy, recognizing him as Ionyr’s brother. “S-sorry.” She stammered. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she looked at Ionyr, who gave her a wink.
“Lighten up, Ielus. I was the one who plucked it and gave it to her.” He said to his brother, who raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, really?” Ielus scoffed and crossed his arms.
“No, it’s my fault.” Rayza said apologetically. “I said I liked it, so I had him pluck it for me. Please forgive me.”
Ielus looked taken aback by her earnest apology. Thinking for a moment, he sighed. “Fine. I’ll forgive you just this once.” He entered through the front gate, and she could see he was holding a basket with two Bassingers in it. “Though you should watch out which flowers you ask for. Do you know the connotation of giving someone a Firemane Rose?”
“Yes, I do!” Rayza said giddily. Finally, a time where her countless hours of reading paid off! “A Firemane Rose is obviously named after the Founding King of the Ashen Order. His legend played out aeons ago, and is to this day seen with a mix of mystery and romanticism. So giving someone a Firemane Rose means…an uncertain…romantic…”
She stopped and hid her face in her palms. Oh Spirits. How could she forget? Rayza wished the floor would open and swallow her whole.
Ionyr, upon processing this information, started chuckling awkwardly, before it turned into full blown laughter. “Oh Spirits, that’s a good one.” He wiped away a tear. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Rayza thought, looking at him through her fingers, doing her best to hide her cheeks that were redder than the rose by now.
“You know a lot about flowers.” Ielus said, seemingly impressed. “Do you read a lot?”
“Well, my father is a scholar, so…” She wasn’t even able to finish her sentence before the giddy glimmer in Ielus eye stopped her.
“Your father is a scholar?! Why didn’t you start with that?!” He said, excited. Taken aback at his outburst, she momentarily forgot about her embarrassment. “Please tell me you have a library at home.”
“Y-yeah…we do.” She said slowly, lowering her hands and looking to Ionyr for help. He laughed.
“We don’t have many books in our home. Ielus has been re-reading the same ones about butanism -”
“Botanics.” Ielus corrected.
“...sorry, botanics for the past few weeks.” Ionyr finished his sentence and shrugged.
Ielus took her hands into his palms, and stared deeply into her eyes with a pleading expression. “Please, please tell me you can sneak out some books for me!” His eyes shimmered with hope.
Rayza was stunned. Besides the daily visits to Goldie’s shop, all she ever knew about the world she learned from that library - she’d been trapped in that house for so many years, that she’d grown resentful of it. Never in a million years would she have thought that someone could want what she had to such a degree.
“Sure.” She said, after some hesitation. “What subject are you most interested in?”
“Aquatic life!” Ielus shouted, but upon seeing her take a step back, adjusted his composure. Clearing his throat, he repeated: “Aquatic life. I want to learn more about the fish and insects that live in our creek.”
“Right. I’ll see what I can do.” Rayza nodded whilst eyeing the rose she’d gotten from Ionyr, twirling it absent-mindedly.
“Thanks a lot!” Ielus said, a bright smile on his face. “By the way, as you’ve probably gathered, my name’s Ielus.” He held out a hand.
“Rayza.” She tentatively shook it. “Nice to meet you.”
“Oh, so your name was Rayza.” Ionyr mumbled, looking sheepish. Come to think of it…
“Ionyr, did you neglect to ask her name?” Ielus sighed and smugly shrugged his shoulders. “How rude. You really are an idiot.”
“Yeah, he is.” Rayza giggled.
“Oi, I’m right here, you know.” Ionyr rolled his eyes and took the basket of Bassingers to the front door. “Let’s go, Mom’s waiting for these.” He said before entering the house.
“Sure.” Ielus led her to the front door, before stopping briefly. “By the way…about the rose.”
“Ah, right.” Rayza looked at it, feeling a little dejected. She held it out for him to take.
Ielus’ eyes widened, and he turned away. “I wanted to say you can keep it. No need to give it back.” He said with a light tremble in his voice.
“You sure?” She was a little surprised. Then again, she wouldn’t complain. She quite liked its spicy-sweet smell.
“U-unless you want to.” Ielus stammered, but shook his head and slapped his cheeks. “Nevermind.” Turning around, he faced her with a cool, collected smile. “Ladies first.” Stepping aside, he gestured for her to enter.
“So kind.” She bowed and walked up the steps.
There was a wonderful fragrance inside of the house, nothing like she was used to - if her own home smelled of death, then this was what life smelled like. The hearty scent of simmering vegetable stew hung in the air, making her mouth water. Come to think of it, she still hadn’t eaten.
“This way.” Ielus led her to the dining room. The table in the middle of the room, and the four chairs around it took up a lot of space. Spying through the window on the other end, Rayza could see the edge of the village - where the forest began. She could hear the clanking of wood against ceramic from the next room, likely the kitchen. As she looked around, Ielus pulled out a chair for her. “Please have a seat.”
“Thank you.” She said, sitting down. The anticipation was killing her - hopefully her stomach didn’t decide to growl. She couldn’t handle more embarrassment today.
“Right, here we are!” Ionyr walked in, holding a large ceramic pot. Steam was trying to push its way past the lid, and if it weren’t for the leather pads he was holding it with, his hands would surely have gotten burned. He dropped the pot on the table. “Ielus, go ahead and serve…” He looked at her, slightly perplexed.
“Rayza?” She asked slowly, raising an eyebrow. Did he really forget already?
“Rayza! That’s what it was.” He laughed, but upon seeing her being annoyed, he sheepishly bowed out. “I’ll go check on the fish.”
“Idiot.” She mumbled with a sigh, resting her hand on her palm. It kind of hurt that he didn’t even bother remembering her name.
“Don’t bother with him.” Ielus stirred the pot with a wooden ladle and started filling her plate. “He’s always been like that. I doubt he’ll ever change.”
“You think?” Rayza took the plate and thanked him, absent-mindedly stirred the piping hot stew with her spoon.
“What do you mean, you forgot her name!?” A female voice boomed from the kitchen, causing her to flinch. “You better go back there and apologise right now, young man!”
“But Mom - OW!” Ionyr’s retort was cut short when a tired looking woman dragged him back into the room by his ear. “Let go!”
“Not before you apologise to the young lady.” His mother hissed, before turning to Rayza and giving her the warmest, kindest of smiles. “I am deeply sorry for my idiotic son’s manners. I thought I taught him better.” Turning back to Ionyr, she went back to hissing. “Now, go on.”
“I-I’m sorry I forgot your name, Rayza. Won’t happen again.” He whimpered, grimacing from the strong pull on his ear.
Rayza couldn’t help but pity him. Say what you will about her father, he never embarrassed her to this degree.
“Good boy.” His mother said, letting go of his ear. Facing Rayza, she gave another warm smile. “Could you find the heart to shake this idiot’s hand, as a sign of forgiveness?”
“...sure.” Rayza said, slowly holding out her hand. Ionyr took and shook it, a deeply grateful expression on his face. She could get used to that expression - and to holding his hand. It made the butterflies go wild.
“Er, Rayza…do you…accept my apology?” He said, raising his eyebrows in a pleading way - clearly fearing his mother’s wrath.
“Uh, right. Apology accepted.” She quickly withdrew her hand. Glancing at Ionyr’s mother, she could’ve sworn that a sort of smug, knowing glint shimmered in the woman’s eyes - but she quickly changed the subject.
“Wonderful! I see Ielus has already served you, Rayza?” Upon seeing Rayza nod, she ruffled Ielus hair. “Good boy. I'll finish cooking the fish. You two start eating. You, Ionyr, will wait until I serve the fish.”
“But Mom -” His retort was silenced with a single glare.
“No buts. Sit and wait. That’s final.” She said, heading back to the kitchen.
Ionyr sat at the table, staring at his empty plate, looking dejected. Again, Rayza felt pity for him. Slowly sliding her chair over, she leaned closer to him and beckoned him to do the same.
“I don’t want to be rude, but your Mom…” She whispered into his ear, glancing at the kitchen. The cooking sounds were thankfully louder than her whispers, so she continued. “She’s kind of crazy.”
“Yeah.” He whispered back, before his lips curled slightly upward. “But I know she does it because she loves me.”
“What do you mean?” Rayza was dumbfounded. In all the drunken punishments her father had given her over the years, not once did she think that there was love involved in it. And the humiliation Ionyr’s mother inflicted on him was arguably worse. Yet he seemed to take it in stride.
“It’s to make me a better man. If she didn’t care at all, she wouldn’t be punishing me.” He chuckled. “And with all the trouble I put her through, I do need to be humbled sometimes.”
She never looked at it that way. Then maybe, all those times her father disciplined her for going through his bookshelf…there was some deeper meaning to it? No, she thought, can’t be. There was no warmth in his words whenever he reprimanded her. Ionyr’s mother, despite her harsh actions, did seem to be kind at heart.
“You don’t have to wait, you know.” Ielus said, taking a spoonful of stew and wolfing it down. “Mom said we can start eating.”
Rayza stared at her plate for a moment, before glancing at Ionyr’s empty plate. His stomach growled, as if in response to her pitying look. How often did she have to force her father to eat? All he ever did was drink - if it weren’t for her force-feeding him her cooking, he might’ve died by now.
“He’s right, don’t wait for me. You’re hungry too, so feed yourself first.” Ionyr said with a smile. Her father often said the same thing - an excuse to keep drinking and staying drunk. Yet in Ionyr’s words, she found only warmth.
As if on cue, her own stomach growled. Blushing, she stirred her food, then took a spoonful of steaming stew and blew on it to cool it. Shooting Ionyr another glance, she found a similar feeling welling up inside her.
But unlike the times she fed her father, she felt no binding obligation to help - instead, it was a freeing kind of volition that urged her to action. Rayza moved her plate a little closer and held the spoon out. He stared at it, dumbfounded.
“Quick. Before your Mom comes back.” She whispered. Ionyr didn’t have to be told twice. His head shot forward, and his mouth engulfed the spoon, like a long-necked snapping turtle. He quickly retracted his head and licked his lips, erasing any trace of his act. Suddenly, his face contorted.
“...hot.” Ionyr said with a grimace, doing his best to keep calm.
“Right, here we are!” His mother returned, holding a pan with two cooked Bassingers in it. Rayza quickly pulled back her plate, shooting a concerned look at Ionyr. He was pursing his lips, eyes wide and sweat drops forming on his forehead - clearly doing his best to hide the pain. Placing the pan on the table, his mother sat opposite him and started cutting the fish.
“Rayza, please hand me your plate.” As she reached over to hand it to the older lady, Ionyr coughed, unable to bear the heat. The older woman looked at her son with narrowed eyes. Drat, she was suspicious now. Rayza froze and gulped. “Ionyr. Did you have a bite while I wasn’t looking?”
He violently shook his head, then looked to his brother for help. Ielus was covering his mouth, and quietly snickering at his brother’s misfortune. Upon seeing his mother turn to him, Ielus said with full confidence: “No, Mom. I didn’t see him eat any stew.”
“I don’t know about that. You cover for him too often, Ielus.” Their mother said sternly, crossing her arms and turning to Rayza. “Young lady, you don’t strike me as a lying type.” She pointed at Ionyr, whose eyes pleaded with her to stay quiet. “Did my son ignore the punishment I set for him?”
Rayza did her best to keep a calm expression - yet she felt a cold sweat forming. How often had she been in this situation? Having to lie to save her skin, only to be called out and punished doubly - for her misdeed and for then lying about it? She’d given up on lying for that reason exactly.
“He…” She stammered, but couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. Seeing Ionyr’s desperate struggle reminded her of herself. More than that, it felt to her like she’d found a kindred spirit. All these years, all she wanted was one thing - to not face this cruelty on her own. To have someone by her side that helped her bear this burden.
“I fed him.” Rayza said without thinking. “I was the one who overstepped your rules. I am deeply sorry.” She continued, lowering her head. What was she doing? She could hear a deep sigh.
“I’m glad.” There was a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she could see the woman smiling. “People have said many bad things about your father, but it looks like he raised his daughter right.”
Rayza bit her lip, holding back her near decade of pain. She forced a smile. “Yeah, he did.” Tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t tell them the truth - she was too scared of what might happen. If they found out what her father did…they might get disgusted with her. Throw her out.
She wouldn’t let that happen. Her father wouldn’t ruin this for her - not like he did her childhood. At long last, she wasn’t alone. She’d finally found some semblance of warmth in this world - and she refused to let go. While serving herself and Ionyr, the mother continued.
“You know, I’m very grateful you helped my sons earlier. They might drive me up the wall, Ionyr especially.” She shot a stern look at the boy in question, who proceeded to shrink in his chair. “But I do love them. I’d much rather chew them out myself than leave that to the butcher’s hounds.” Chopping the fish into small chunks, she slid each of the teens a piece, first Rayza, then Ielus and finally Ionyr - leaving only a small one for herself.
“Mom.” Ionyr said, this time with a markedly more serious tone. “We talked about your portion sizes.”
“We have a guest, Ionyr.” His mother retorted, putting the lid back on the stew pot. “Of course my portion will be smaller.”
“Why do you think we catch all these Bassingers, Mom?” Ielus interjected, crossing his arms. “They’re good for your memory.”
Sighing in exasperation, the woman pinched her nose. “Just because you read it in a book doesn’t mean…”
“You agreed, Mom.” Ionyr said sternly, exchanging a look with his brother. They both then cut a piece off their serving of Bassinger and slid it onto their mother’s plate. “If you love us so much, then you’ll eat it. It’s good for you.”
The woman glanced at Rayza, with a face that said: “What will I do with these two?”
Staring at her own plate, many questions ran through Rayza’s mind. Why were they so concerned about their mother’s memory? How were they able to show such kindness to the adult who dealt such harsh punishment to them? And so earnestly that the very same adult seemed powerless to resist them?
As she glanced over the pink flesh of the Bassinger, she realised the answer was staring her in the face. She cut a small chunk off it, releasing its meaty, hearty fragrance into the air. Despite her stomach growling loudly in protest, wanting to eat more than anything else, she slid a piece of fish onto the mother’s plate.
Feeling everyone’s eyes on her, Rayza lowered her gaze as her face heated up. “If you really love your sons…” She muttered shyly. “Maybe you should listen to them.” Her hands were trembling under the table - this was the first time she’d talked back to an adult like this. Much less the first time she’d done it as a guest.
“Not you, too.” The mother sighed, before chuckling and placing a hand on Rayza’s shoulder. “Thank you, though. Lift your head, you’ve got a heart.” As Rayza followed her instruction and lifted her head, she saw the warmth in the woman’s tired smile. “Should you ever get into trouble, come to me. Consider yourself part of the family.”
Huh?
“Now then, let’s eat.”
HUH?! Rayza sat there, stunned as the others all began digging in. They started joking around, laughing, and enjoying their food. And she…was a part of this? Just like that?
“What’s wrong? You’re not eating.” The mother said, turning to her with a concerned expression.
“O-oh. Sorry. It’s just…” Rayza didn’t want to be rude and ruin this. But…something just didn’t sit right by her. “I…I…” The words got stuck in her throat. Between her holding back a maelstrom of pain, the fear of destroying this blessing and the overwhelming joy, it was just too hard to put into words.
Something cracked. The dam broke. Tears streamed out her eyes. “T-thank you.” She said between sobs. “Thank you so much…you don’t know how much this all means to me.”
Immediately, the mother had taken her into her arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s okay, dear. I don’t know how or why you’re so upset…but it’s okay now.”
“Yeah…yeah! It’ll be okay! You’re our friend now!” Ionyr said, hesitantly at first, but quickly stood up and smiled optimistically, placing his hand on her shoulder.
“Indeed!” Ielus quickly followed, doing the same. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again!”
“Thank you…thank you so much…” Rayza sobbed, hugging the woman tightly. Never had she experienced this comforting warmth. It’s like part of her soul, empty for far too long, had finally been filled in. She could hear a soft hum.
The mother was singing a lullaby - just like the mother in the book! Was this real? Could it really be true? Or was this just another pipe dream?
Whatever the answer was, as the heavy sobs racking her body began to subside, so did the light of her consciousness. The exhaustion finally kicked in, after all this time.
No matter. At this moment, she felt warm.
Her vision went white.
----------------------------------------
“The female…it seems her past was dark and troubled. The male finally gave her light - she appreciates it more than any other. She will do well to impart this warmth to the Star. But what else can she teach? Let us look a little further.”