When next I awoke I did what any nerd who realized how to use what appears to be a magic power would do. Completely ignore the pain from last time and tried it again. This time I did not even have to really focus on my breathing, merely calming my mind was enough for me to be able to get a feel for that special mental muscle and Will my mind come under my awareness. I really hope that this is Occluding because if not I have no idea what is going on. I take a moment to see if my will was still strained from last time, and it does not seem to be any worse off. A part of me was hoping that after all that pain I would noticed a massive increase in my will's strength like in any good story. Testing that I try to slowly allow more thoughts, and quickly feel the strain just like last time. The only difference was that I was better prepared for the pain and strain than last time. As the silver strands of thoughts and memories began crowding my mind I used my will to stop more memories from crowding in, and attempted to calm my mind once more. In doing so I found that the strain plateaued. It was still mildly painful, and a strain on my will but something that I could hold for a bit longer. Taking a page from one of the many fanfictions I read I tried to mix Occluding with a muggle technique called a mind palace. Assigning memories to physical objects in an imagined room or location.

Not knowing what would be a good starting point I decided to start with something small and that I was familiar with, but also something that would lend itself to creating something bigger and better defended if it all worked. I decided to create a library in my head, I chose to pull from a video game that I had more hours in than I care to admit, even to myself, The Arcanium from Skyrim. As a large library it would have many books that I could assign memories too, and down the road is deep within a large magical college. I try to draw forth the memory of what the Arcanium in the game looked like. Drawing that memory to the forefront added a little more strain to my will but for now I was able to hold on. Next I mentally approached the bookshelf and tried to pull a silvery tread of memory over to the book. As soon as I tried to do both actions simultaneously my concentration faultered and I found my self imagining instead of Occluding. It was strange how subtle the difference was, but the lack of strain from my will was an excellent guide. Deciding to give my mind a bit of a rest I took stock of my current situation. Rather quickly I realized that my body had processed my earlier meals and I needed aid. Lacking the ability to do anything about it but cry for help I swallowed my tattered pride for the hundredth time and began crying. With a quite whispery pop Janis appeared in the room. I focused on trying to maintain a higher pitched cry and wiggled my legs, hoping that I would get him to understand that I needed to be changed. "Young heir needs change, and Mistress is busy…." With a snap of his fingers I floated up. Surprisingly the sensation was not a frightening as you might imagine. Instead of being yanked into the air, it felt like I was laying upon a cloud that was slowly rising. At the same time a fresh linen diaper flew from one of the cabinets. With another motion the diaper came off, my bottom was magically clean and a new diaper was wrapping itself upon me with just the right amount of tightness. With this completed I stopped crying and just looked at Janis, uncertain if he had understood my request just from the tone of my cry or through other house elf magic, either way I was grateful that he was able to help. Janis approached me and smiled at me, then faded away like mist under the sun.

With him gone I decided to try working on my Occlumency once more. I was able to reach the Occluding state easier this time. I worked on creating the image of the Arcanium again and after having done so I focused one book. This was part still caused some strain on my will, but nothing that caused pain. Again I tried to focus on the book and on a silvery strand of memory, this time being sure not to look track of my effort of Will. Soon I split some of my will to command a nearby strand of memory to approach the book causing the pain and strain to grow worse. While doing so the memory contained becomes clear. "my father speaks, "I Lord Isiah of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Prewitt agree to the terms offered by The Most Noble House of Malfoy, so mote it be."" I will the memory to be attached to the book and, far more easily than I expected given the struggle thus far, the memory merged with the book. The mental image of the book began more … solid for lack of a better descriptor. Also I noticed that a very minor amount of the strain on my will had diminished. Sadly this improvement was not enough as I could feel my will beginning to give. Instead of allowing it to rip out of my control I relaxed my control and left my Occluded state. The pain of a headache rushed into me, but did not incapacitate me like last time.

The next time I awoke I was tempted to Occlude to view my mind palace however the reason for my awaking quickly became apparent. My mother had entered the room and was picking me up. Humming while doing so, she quickly had me in a side hold while rocking me. I looked up at her and did my best to smile and make a pleased sound. This quickly brought a bight smile to her face. While seeing the smile I also noted that her jewelry was nicer than usual, almost as nice as when my father held the feast for the House and its vassals. "There is a smile from my young prince. You have such a way of making a day so much better. You would not bring shame upon your family name." My mother said while rocking me and beginning to feed me. "I cannot fathom the lack of shame of some people. Choosing to betray the expectations of your family is bad enough, but to reject the Traditions of your culture and people. It shames yourself and your parents. While your certainly will not hear me condone those who use the language in front of others those Weasley's certainly are blood traitors. Requesting a formal meeting regarding finally paying the dowery, then having to gall to explain that they won't be bound by such 'old and foolish ideas'. Yet your father held his temper and merely cast them from the house and denied her connection to us hence forth. He did not even comment upon the fact that Head Weasley's position came from our Family's quiet word." This whole little rant was quite shocking to me as during my short life I had never seen my mother do something as uncouth as to rant. I have a sneaking suspicion that as soon as I am old enough to 'remember' I am unlikely to see it again. It is also impressive to me that with the exception of the words blood traitor she gave her whole rant in an even measured tone that still sounded as full of class as anyone I had ever met. This was a state that I was quickly coming to associate with my mother and hoping to emulate as I develop in this second life. After being fed and burped my mother pulled out her wand with her other hand and gave it a swish. Several feet of beautiful fabric came from one of the dresser drawers and wrapped around my mother's shoulder and side cradling me to her front. With a tap of her wand the the fabric it subtly tightened and shifted so I was comfortable, but couldn't move much. As she got up and began leaving my nursery the snug fit never wavered. Soon she sat at a desk and busied herself reading thought letters and sorting them into several piles. Given how tightly wrapped I was it was difficulty to make out anything on the letters. Since I was not going to learn anything by staring at my mothers face I gave in to my curiosity and closed my eyes. I quickly entered my Occluded state. When there to my surprise and a little relief I found a decayed shadow of my mind palace. Parts of it were nonexistent, others were foggy and indistinct. However, one thing stood out with crystal clarity, the book with the memory bound to it. I took a moment to draw the image of The Arcanium back into focus again. Without other memories crowding my mindscape I was able to draw it into focus with very little stress. I began letting some memory come forth and then quickly stopped. With only a few memories the strain on my will was much more manageable. I focused on drawing more of the memory of my father swearing to Malfoy's trade. While doing so a strand swirling around separated itself from the others and glided in front of the book more of the memory quickly began to fill my mind. Taking a brief moment to mentally remark on the overly formal language he used, that I can only assume has some magical importance. As I gather more details from the memory I work to fill the book with them, something that takes much longer than I had expected given how easily the first fragment of this memory bound itself to the book. By the time I felt that the memory of that period of wakefulness was completely bound to the book I could feel my hunger clawing at my stomach once more. I gave out cry while trying to maintain my Occluded state. It was a bit difficult, like trying to hold a conversation while watching TV. It is something that can be done but is difficult to do both things well and in this case I failed to keep ahold of my Occluded state. My mother shifted me in the baby sling and began feeding me once more and after trying and failing to Occlude once more I began drifting off to sleep.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

When I woke I attempted to reentered my mind palace, a task that was much easier after that nap, and once again got to work refocusing the parts that had started to fade away or had lost focus. The work went quicker than last time, and just like last time the book that had a memory infused was perfectly focused. I mentally opened the book and felt the events clearly, able to remember every word. I felt excitement well up into me, if this worked for all my memories I would essentially had eidetic memory. I could master most of Hogwarts curriculum without effort if I had all of the books memorized before I even attend school! The realization that it took several hours of meditation to get that memory to that level of clarity did little to dissuade my excitement.

My goal over the next unknown period of days was to continue combining my new memories into the books on the bookshelves. My world narrowed down into a comfortable routine of waking, crying to draw my mother to me so that I could feed, Occluding to work on my mind palace until the strain on my will was too much, then sleeping again. During this process I developed a new skill, the ability to Occlude with my eyes open. This allowed me to look around and show interest in the world around me while my mother or father were holding me. In addition to this interesting mental ability I also gained a vital physical ability, I can move my head. While this may sounds like a rather minor ability it makes a world of difference when you can actively lift your head up to look at what interests you. This combined with my progress in Occlumency did wonders for my state of mind. I felt like a had a little bit more control of my world, and while still mostly helpless anything helps. After an unknown number of days I realized that I had gotten back to my memories of my past life. This got me to stop for a moment, I do not doubt that the memories of my past life contain information that will be of great use to me. However, I wonder about what the effect of completely reliving and permanently solidifying all the emotions and experiences of my past life will do to me. I had already made a decision to treat this life as a truly new life. I have to wonder what will happen if I fully add those memories to the mind palace. Would this life just become a continuation of the previous? I was already continuing my personality into this new world, which included my wonder and joy towards magic, which I was okay with keeping. It was a distinction that was tough for me to define to myself, yet very clear to me.

Before moving forward on this topic I took a moment to taking in my mind palace. Thus far it consisted of a shelf of books that looked as real as any physical book, with the supporting bookshelf also taking on the same sense of reality and permanence. Looking around further the rest of the library was intact, unlike my first several attempts there were no areas that were completely faded away, however the farther things were from the bookshelves where most of my attention was usually focused the hazier and more dreamlike things appeared. I can only assume things will improve with time, work, and more memories. While pondering this I noticed my father approaching my mother who was sorting letters and making notes as she typically does. To my frustration my baby sling still does not position me in such a way that I can read these letters and no amount of fussing will get the message across that I want to see the letters. She (quite reasonably, no matter how annoying) does not get that I want to read the letters and instead cycles through checking my diaper, feeding me, rocking me, singing to me, and repositioning me. All smart things for any new mother to attempt however, not want I want. I have given up on that goal for the time being to avoid driving my mother to frustration as I seek something she cannot yet understand. While mentally complaining I abruptly shift focus upon hearing my name. "…Nathaniel? Are you learning from our brilliant Lady of the house how to deal with all of communications that other feel absolutely must be addressed by the main house?" He finishes with a smile towards my mother. "Some day soon maybe, for now I am just grateful that he has gotten used to laying comfortably with me while I work. On the topic of work I wonder if you have addressed our Romanian contact? It appears that with both House Longbottom and ourselves increasing our orders for Dragon fertilizer there will not be much left to order. We are already getting about as much as we can." With a pause my father looks into the distance for a moment. "We will need to see about other sources then, even with the last ritual the land will not be able to meet our demands with more support." Focusing on my mother again he says, "Does your family still have contacts with the Nepal sanctuary?"

"Yes they do. However, transportation costs will make it almost infeasible. We do not have the and infrastructure to support shipping from that far without having to work with a number of third parties. By my estimations there is no way we could recoup those costs."

"We can keep looking for other options then. It is not yet a true problem." With that he gives my mother a kiss and gently runs a hand over my head before walking out.

I returned to my previous idea and considered what to do. I started working on Occluding once again and started reviewing the memories from my past life. Rather than working from newest to oldest I decided to seek the oldest memories I could. I got vague recollections of a childhood, living in a trailer, a mother who cared for me. I was unable to obtain much details. Then I got to kindergarten and was able to gather some clear recollections. I began fusing the memories of kindergarten with a new book, but differently then previously I did not try for perfect recall. Rather I tried to infuse the book with just the events, without their emotional connotations. It was not that difficult at all, after I was finished I mentally reach out to the book and opened it. I felt my memories of the first day of kindergarten rush over me, but rather than feeling like I was living it again it felt more like I was watching a movie of events that happened to another.

The recall that I had of my past memories was ideal for my goals, it allowed for me to keep the information that might be useful easily accessible and did not tie me indelibly to that life. I made one concession to my past life, I went searching for a memory with my mother, father, and sister all together and happy. I took that memory with all of its emotion and bound it into one of the books, then placed that book on a pedestal I created in the center of the room. I would never forget my family who had passed and what they meant to me. No matter my desire to grasp fully this new life.