The next time I had awareness I felt a sense of calm and safety that is hard to describe or compare to anything in the adult experience. There is a reason that people use sleeping like a baby as a descriptor. Tightly bundled in blanket when being rocked by my mother with a soft hummed tune going I felt at peace for a moment despite the enormous events that had recent transpired. Soon biologic and emotional concerns overwhelmed me and soft whimpers quickly developed to full on cries. "Sh Sh Sh it is okay my son." My mother attempts to sooth me, however my infant body seems to refuse my attempted to gain control of my crying. "Do you need changing?" My mother asked while placing under the indignity of being undressed which certainly did not help my efforts to get control of this darn crying. "You are clean, are you hungry, maybe something is wrong?" My mother says this time with a hint of nervousness. "Try to eat." Maybe this whole new life thing is not a great as I thought as I was forced to endure yet another indignity that I am quite sure I will be spending years trying to forget. However with this I finally get control of my crying. "Good you were just hungry. My mother said that having a child would come naturally… I am Lady Prewitt, I can do this." My mother's voice stated out strained with emotion and ended in a strength that I could not help but be impressed by. Whether she felt that certainty or not few people I knew were able to project such certainty in their voice at the drop of a hat.
Though now with the crying and hunger under control I found my self slipping back into trying to deal with the enormity of what had happened to me. In doing so I had to decide how to handle those emotions I was keeping at the edge of my awareness. I was all to familiar with how tempting it will be to continue pushing off dealing with those emotions, but eventually I would need to deal with them… But not yet. If I can't do anything to change my situation then I just need to find another way to be productive with my time.
How to approach this new life. A question that you would think would be helped by the extensive "research" I and many other internet researchers have debated many times, however being the person staring down a new life it is not nearly as easy as when staring it down from a keyboard. I guess the first question is how to deal with my knowledge of some events of what a believe to be this world. Do I allow them to shape my plans? At this point I don't even know if those events are past, present, future, no existent, scary nightmare… Okay spiral aborted. Focus, making plans might not be productive but I can gather information from paying attention to the world around me. I can also at least work on determining how I should approach my knowledge. While I circled the lack of information regarding the applicability of my knowledge I started to feel sleepy and allowed sleep to take me as a release from my frenzied thoughts.
It took me several periods of wakefulness before I was able to reconcile what my knowledge from my past life meant to this life. I came to the simple conclusion, if my knowledge appeared to be accurate, I should attempt to verify it. If I am unable to verify it I should try to use it as a source of information, but never rely on it. Having read many stories I fully understand the trope of the main character who relies on their knowledge of the plot to do everything. Those characters are so scared of changing the story that they refuse to live their own lives and make their own choices. Only when the world has been changed to something unrecognizable do they finally start to make their own choices.
I will use my knowledge if I can but I live my own life. I have no loved ones left in my original life and I will embrace this life as a new life. A large part of my ability to come to this conclusion was my ability to get more information regarding this world I live in. It is at least a version of the Wizarding World I was familiar with as my mother used a wand to clean my cloth diaper the first time I soiled myself, that was enough to send me into nerd-vana and was a welcome break from the rather dark emotions that had been plaguing me. What made me even happier was when during one of my feedings my mother let out a firm cry of, "Janis." And a wrinkled child sized figure appeared in front of her. "Go prepare the dining room we will be having the Malfoy's over tonight." Both events made it clear to me that we were certainly dealing with the English Wizarding World. A chance the explore a fantasy world with true magic was a dream come true, and I refuse to let it pass me by.
As I reaffirmed this promise to myself I hear the door to my room open. "Hello myson!" I heard from my mother. I let out a load coo and turned my head. As the days have passed I have noticed that my vision is slowly improving and I am better able to assess my family. As my mother picks me up I am able to see her long auburn hair and dark blue eyes with a smile on her face as she looks at me. I mentally compared this to the image of my father with his dark black hair, grey stormy eyes, and tall build. They are a good pair and I hope that I take after his hair and build as I can't imagine going through life without my height. As she feeds me once again I began thinking about my future. I know that I am heir to the Prewitt house, though I have to say that I don't really know that entails. In the books it doesn't really get into the details of the Pureblood houses. Until I have the opportunity to get more information about the family and what being Heir really entails I will assume that it is similar to being heir during the Middle Ages. I will likely to be trained to assume control over the house and its properties. I will also likely have the opportunity to study at Hogwarts.
With the thought of magic School I tried to organize my knowledge of how magic worked in the Potter world according to cannon and quickly found myself with a lack of knowledge. However I did not let that stop me as any thing to keep my mind occupied is greatly appreciated at this point. Compared to many magic systems found in other fantasy stories one of the downsides of the Potter-verse was how little detail was given about how magic really worked. It is known that wanded magic was the most commonly used form of magic in England for humans. Most spells require a verbal, physical (wand movements), and mental (image) for the average caster. For more advanced spell casters spells could do without verbal and physical aspects, and for the most masterful some spells could be down without wands entirely. No magic is taught to children until 11 years old for some reason. Some spells are only taught too upper years and for some reason it is expected that younger years would be unable to power the spells. There is also mental magics such as Occlumency and Legilimency which allowed for protection of the mind and invasion of the mind respectively. Both magics are not fully explained or explored in the cannon but many fanfictions explored some of their potential effects.
Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.
In my current state I am unable to really explore the knowledge of this world and seek out answers that would better allow me to make plans. However considering the fact that I have a fully developed mind trapped in an infants body I have to find something to do or I might go a little mad by the time I am able to meaningfully communicate with my family. While trying to spin my wheels with limited knowledge obtained from the books is one thing it would be very nice to have something meaningful to at least attempt. Of the skills in the Potter-verse I am aware of Occlumency is one of the only skills I could attempt right now. In my current state I can't do much else and if I succeed then it will allow me to hide my knowledge of my past life. Plus if fanfictions have it right then it will improve my memory and emotional control. The other thing I could attempt would be trying to master wandless magic like so many characters have before me! Before this thought could really gain any traction I had another thought.
What happens if I someone does even a surface sweep of my mind?
How common are Legimens in this world?
If one sees fully formed thoughts in a small child what will happen to me?
Not wanting to chase down the answers to those questions I decided that trying to master something that in the original story was never really done by any but the oldest and strongest wizards would have to wait until I had at least some measure of control over my own mind. With my new goal set firmly in mind I plan to start practicing, but once again I find sleep claiming me before I have even really attempted clearing my mind.
When next I wake to my mother's attention's I also have an opportunity to hear my father talking to her. "Whatever our personal desires, the House of Prewitt does not have the strength of arms or allies to truly stand against the Dark Lord. Our house wards will provide protection for us here, but we won't be able to leave our own home. That isn't even talking about the safety of the rest of our house and that of our vassals. With the rising ascendancy of the Dark Lord's forces I doubt he will allow us keep our neutrality much longer."
"And you won't consider asking Dumble…"
"I refuse to bow my head before that wolf in sheep's clothing!" My father interrupted in an impassioned shout.
With somehow less emotion and more ice my mother responds, "Okay… My Lord, what do you propose? If you don't wish to bow your head to the Dark Lord — and you already know that I agree with you on that — then what do you suggest?" With a sigh he responds, "Sorry my dear. I should not have yelled at you. I feel trapped and it is eating at me. If only I was more powerful then we would have the capital to stand independent, as the honor of our Most Ancient and Noble House demands."
"Lady Malfoy spoke to me after dinner last night and said that House Malfoy would be willing to speak on our behalf about not making a formal declaration of Vassalage in exchange for providing a steady supply of vital potion ingredients and a channel for rare ingredients when necessary."
"While not ideal I think it is the best offer we are going to get at this point. What does House Malfoy want for such a favor?" My father said with some disgust and sarcasm coloring his voice.
"Protection in Wizengamot in the event things go badly."
"And was this offered formally?" My father asked with an air of surprise and hope. "It was, I have the letter on the table." My mother said as she set me down. After picking up the letter and reading it my father turns back to my mother, "It is my blessing to have you by my side, I shudder to think how I would fair against those two alone. While you were talking to Lady Malfoy Lord Malfoy was singing the praises of his Powerful Lord who would welcome us with open arms when we finally see that they stand for the same thing as us."
"You would find a way to keep them in check one way or another. I would expect nothing less from the one I married." My mother said back with a hint of arrogance that I couldn't decide was fake. "Thank you for your faith in me my love, but those two are political animals. I am quite sure that they are working in tandem to ensure that no incriminating memories are found in the mind of Lord Malfoy, yet they position themselves for the win regardless of the outcome." With a sigh draws his wand and presses it against the letter, he then speaks, "I Lord Isiah of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Prewitt agree to the terms offered by The Most Noble House of Malfoy, so mote it be." Suddenly the ring upon his hand shines with a yellow light, and the letter begins to shine with a similar light. My mother then sets me down as I have finished feeding. "Do you want me to gather the wives of the House together to update them?" She asked as they walk towards the door to exit my nursery. "Hmmm, good idea. I will do a formal dinner for our house and vassals at the end of the week to reassure them that at least for now we will remain officially neutral. You can gather their unofficial concerns the next day with a brunch for the Ladies and wives." My mother's reply to this was lost to me as the door closed behind them.
Mentally I go through the implications of what I heard. It seems that I was likely born during the first wizarding war if Voldemort is an open force and Dumbledore is still considered the leader of the opposition. I try to get control over my excitement about knowing when I am and get back to work on Occlumency. Knowing when I am isn't really going to change anything for me right now. Remembering the few comments about Occlumency from the books which pretty much consisted of Snape yelling clear your mind. I decide that meditation/mindfulness techniques from my past life were likely a good starting point. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.