I heppy, yu heppy, we heppy. Life. Thas haoww itt is. Hoo sad en Life? Wy? Sad not haoww it gos becus hyurt yurself no gud n thas wy I dunt hyurt me. Peinful and fings like thas.

“Dunt hyurt yurself tuu ok?” I sed smarttley. “Wurld is Nihilistic n Cynical, is eesie tuu get infektid by thowts.”

“Ook ook I wunt keel maiself I prummiss,” frend sed. “Yu dunt keel yurself tuu. Oui meeet meni laytur times, ok?”

Frend wallkd ewey to bestest cuntry in wurld: Afleeka. He wallkd on lend and wa’er like mehjik. Den I gos bak to mine cuntry and not bestest cuntry becus is wurs: Meraka. Is in oshun. Sinse I cannut wallk mehjikly on wa’er like frend, I wallkd in n undur. Teh wayvs ssplitt n I enturr the seefloor, tows tuch the seeshelvs. Colurr reynbo. Beuty.

Den tows eatn. Seeshelvs sloice da small, den da beeg. Blud and skerry feel insied. Tows gone, kannut standd, so fall. Seeshelvs surrond mi n dey eet up my legg. Legg gone. Arrm gone, im a Quadriplegic Nugget for seeshelvs. It hort.

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Now undurrstend Nihilistic pepple. Cynical pepple. Big Sad pepple. I keel maiselff. Im Big Sad.

…

“… up!”

… watt?

“ek up!”

vurrrii naiiss, vurrrrii naiiss!

“I sed wek up!” I pheel slep on chiek. Den anudder. Den tey liff me up n stranggl mi. I coff n opin Eyes.

I screm. “Ahhhhhhh!” Twas a floting rib wif a bigg hed.

“Yuu Ugly, I wek yuu up meni time,” the strenger sed. I luk arownd n see new wurld becus sky braight porrpple.

“Me Ugly? Den yuu Fugly,” I sed wif bigg meen Eyes.

“Luk at yursself.” Floting rib tek out bigg sirkle miror.

“Ahhhhh!” I screm more. “Is mi? Wy I luk like thas?”

I has no bigg mean Eyes cus dey smol. I hav no Eyes at al! My hed red wif blud and muskles, no skinne, n shurt blac hheirr. The miror bigg, n I see mi body no lims! My Lung and rib is olny left and is red tuu. Andurr Lung is Spine, n lies on flor wif blud. Im bigg red.

I cri n become Big Sad. “Im tru Ugly.” Sob sob.

“Si, si. Yuu notiss finnelly? Yuu the Fugly,” sed floting rib hed. I sitt upp wif Spine n standd, butt im reely jus floting. So I flote up n sey bai.

“Guubai, naisse nowing yuu.” I weyv Spine n floting rib hed brek off won rib. Faiv lefft.