“Yuu rasistt!”
“Watt? I olny call yuu Fugly!” sed strenjurr.
“Stil rasistt. Jus becus yuu call it difrent naym, dosnt meen is nott hayt. Yuu shuld bee punnishd.”
I wallkd tu poleese stayshun n tel dem: “Dis persunn is rasistt! Arestt!” I poynt tu strenjurr nex tu me.
“Sorri, butt is nutt undurr Law tu call sumwon Fugly.”
“Dosnt needd tu be! Is jus hayt undurr difrent naym!”
“Thas howw langwej wurks. Yuu call sumting difrent naym, is difrent realitee.”
“Fugg yuu!” I lif my Spine up in eir n whip dem. HAWRDD. “Yuu bad poleese, I hayt yuu!”
“Ah! O ya! Ah! Oh! Oh!”
I heer sum tawking on syde. “Krrr. Dis Yuunit 69, we have rasistt in Wee Hayte Siviliyan Presinkt. Cullingg fore baccup.”
“Hah? Wy yuu no arestt whol shitee? Yur shitee naym hayt!”
“We du nut arest owrselvs. Hends uhpp.” The poleese poynt twu ribbs at me. “Hends uhpp or keeld, Fugly.”
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“Yuu cant beet me cus I hev Quantum Mechanics on mai syde. Behuld me micropeen.” Beelow Lumbar, I mannifestt mikroskopic cirkle. “Nao Im nex Genghis Khan. I reepopulayt wurld wif Uncertainty Principle. Smaller peen, moor plaises it go. Nevurr undurrestimayt Teleporting micropeen.”
Deh floting poleese ribs yell. “My oss! My oss!!” Whol polees stayshunn skreem in teror. Den whol shity. Den I feel whol wurld skreem becus of Teleporting micropeen. I jus stend still n no wurk is needid. New jennerayshunn of my rayce is comming. Is gon be beutifull wurld.
I keel moor n moor. So much keeling, isso fun. I travull wurld, keel, den travull sum moor, keel. Keel. Keel. Ha ha. Keel! Das how evrywon in wurld is. Dis is reel hoomann naychur. Alweys keeling. Das why no won kan beet me, cus dey were not hyuuman. Dey did not keel. Keeling is hyuuman. I am hyuuman. If I don’t keel n make evrywon misserbull, den I is nutt hyuuman. I hav seccs, das wy Im hyuuman. I make yung n old n ded pepple misserbull, Im hyuuman.
“Yuu preetennshuss shite. Shaddup,” summwon beehind sed. I tern n see floting rib hed like me.
“No yuu, Dunning-Kruger Low IQ Fugly. Yuu in Double Digits Mathematics, n probly Single Digit.”
“Then how about I speak like this?” floting rib hed sed.
“See! Yuu priitend like yuu stoopid like me, butt yuu ackchually stoopider. Zero IQ.”
“Yes, I’m a number,” he sed.
“Yes, I put yuu tu sleep nao, ok?” I sed.
“Before you do, take a look at this.” He pullw owt pikkchurr of my othurr wurld dawter. I cri. So bewtiful. Haz skinn, n hare, n lims. I cri moor.
“Wherr, wherr isshe?” I asskd.
“She’s safe with me. You can stop your pretentious garbage with all these random words and come with me. Or yuu ken stey in diss wurld n keel n keel n keel.” Floting rib hed becumm veri bewtifull man wif skinn n hare n arms n legs. I cri.
“I wannts tu bee like yuu,” I sed.
“Follow me, then.” He smaiyel n poretull opin n I steppe thruu.