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Prehistoric Barbarian
Book 1 - Chapter 3 - Welcome

Book 1 - Chapter 3 - Welcome

I raised my eyebrow and slightly opened my mouth. I understood him. I really did. If I wasn’t high so far, I was definitely now.

“I think? Can you understand me now?” I asked him.

“Woah! This is incredible. I can understand you perfectly,” he said with his jaw hanging from surprise.

“Why is it incredible?” I couldn’t help asking.

As I asked I noticed something that scared me for a second. I wasn’t speaking English anymore, yet it came so naturally like it was my first language. I didn’t even notice it at first, but the different movement of my mouth while talking ticked me off eventually.

How was this possible? How could I speak fluently an unknown language after a few minutes?

This was really scary… I barely noticed I wasn’t talking my language anymore.

“The language functions shouldn’t kick in so fast. I was planning on doing some work while waiting, but I guess it happened rather quickly. I think it has to do with your symptoms. They shouldn’t be this severe. Normally the language functions kick in after 15 minutes or so with barely any negative symptoms like you exhibited,” he explained to me.

“Woah… I can totally understand you now!” I said to him genuinely surprised with my newly acquired language skills. The mouth movement still felt incredibly weird, though.

“Yeah, it’s incredible. You got me worried there for a second.”

“What did you do to me?!” I tried turning the conversation towards the important questions.

“It’s just an IDChip. It’s obligatory in the Core Regions, yet you barged into our spaceport without one. To make it even more curious, you speak a language that’s missing from our database,” he said while furrowing his brows.

“IDChip? Am I in trouble? Where am….” Before finishing the last question, I bit my tongue.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked that. It might get me in trouble. Better be careful until I knew more.

“Identification Chip. You got the new basic model. Liquid-based nanotechnology that merges with your nervous system. The complete merge takes around two hours, but some functions like the language one come online sooner. In your case a lot sooner. It’s intentional because some people can’t understand us so we can’t carry out an identification process until they can. Again… in your case, it was different because even we couldn’t understand you. What kind of language were you speaking if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Erm… English?” I answered, but my mind was already going crazy.

The what merges with my nervous system?! Was this some kind of slave restriction or mind control?! Was I going to become a potato, or were they just putting me out of my misery like a stray dog?!

“English? Never even heard of it before.” Soon his brows would fuse if he continued to furrow them so hard.

In my frustration, all I could manage was a weak shrug. That felt like the most diplomatic answer here.

“So, here’s the billion credit question: How did you manage to board a Space Transportation Ship without an IDChip? Better yet, are you even from the core regions?” he asked me with sudden seriousness.

Wait a minute. I missed something before. This was the second time he talked about space. Where the fucking hell did I end up? How?! What space transportation ship?! What spaceport?! WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT?!

Shit, he was staring at me, I had to tell him something! I was taking too long to answer. If I didn't answer, he would have thought I was lying. Which was absolutely true.

“I’m not sure. I just boarded.” Please accept this answer!

“There’s supposed to be an ID check before boarding and even before buying a ticket. There is no exception.” He looked at me questioningly.

Again… I went for a shrug with an innocent look for reinforcement.

“Did they really miss a person during both ID checks? If that wasn’t enough, it’s a person without an IDChip… who we couldn’t even understand. This is really troublesome. I’ll have to send a report about this as soon as possible. This is a huge misconduct!” He touched his forehead followed by a long sigh. “Well, to damage control the situation we should proceed with the standard identification process we already started if you don’t mind,” he said.

“I guess,” I responded.

“Normally this isn’t my task, but in the current situation I’d rather finish this myself before other unwelcomed problems occur.”

As he walked back to his seat, he stopped midway at the side of his table.

“Oh, my… I think we are due for a proper introduction,” he said as he straightened himself like when I first entered the room.

“Welcome to planet Hatuu! My name is Roka Beferent. I’m this spaceport's main supervisor,” he introduced himself proudly.

Planet Hatuu…

So this wasn't hell, and I wasn't meeting the Devil. Instead, I was on a planet’s spaceport. How the fuck did I end up on a spaceship heading to an unknown planet?! Was this some mad god’s or deity’s sick game? I was so not ready for this.

During my internal struggle, the room turned into an awkward silence. The guy politely introduced himself, and now he was looking at me strangely.

OH RIGHT! I should have introduced myself, too.

“I’m Aium.”

“It’s a pleasure meeting you Mr. Aium!” he said amicably.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but as I said a second ago we’ll have to go through the identification process we started before you can leave. Normally you should have been through this before boarding a Space Transportation Ship,” he said with apparent displeasure.

Oh shit. I was done. The jig was up. There was no way I could do this. He would find out I was some kind of unknown existence here. They would lock me up and do experiments on me until I couldn't take it anymore and then they would just cut me into portions and put me in creepy jars. I wanted to go home now. This wasn't fun anymore. Not like it was any fun from the start. I begged to the Mad God to let me go home!

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“It’s really simple and won’t take long. I’ll ask you a few questions, take a DNA sample and measure your brain’s wavelength signature. The last step is usually the implantation of the chip, but in cases of language difference it’s advised to start with that,” he said matter-of-factly.

Implantation… brain… sample… I was dead. Please, someone, leave a note on my body to not cremate me! I wanted to become a zombie if the opportunity showed itself in the future.

This must have been my punishment. I waited for this for a long time. Even if it wasn't my divine punishment just a fucked up, unfortunate situation, what could I do? I wasn't a spy. I didn’t have superpowers or plot armor. I couldn’t hope to escape if they wanted to catch me. My fate was sealed the moment I woke up on the plane.

Was there anything else for me to do other than rolling with it and hoping for the best?

In the end, I nodded.

“Okay, so first of all, I’ll need your full name Mr. Aium,” he said as he sat down and waved back the hologram above his desk.

The screen looked so cool. It wasn't even transparent. Before I started daydreaming again maybe I should have focused on the matter at hand.

“Aium Roowe,” I said my full name.

“Birthdate?”

I didn’t go too far, did I? Hah, this was the end of my story, I wouldn't be able to answer this. How would I know what format they used for dates here?

Then a brilliant idea hit me out of nowhere.

Hmmm. Maybe if I…

“I’m 26 and my birthday is 11 days from now,” I answered with a smile.

HAHAHAA! Take that! I was a true genius! Trap question detected and flawlessly avoided.

The guy looked at me for a second and then tapped away at his desk.

I felt unstoppable!

“Birthplace?”

Thus came my end. This time it was really the finish line.

“I… I don’t know,” I said half-honestly.

“Unknown,” said Mustache Man while typing.

Saved! Muhahaa. I was awesome.

The guy stopped for a moment and looked up at me with a dangerous look.

“I’m sorry for asking, but where are you from? Nowadays it’s nearly impossible to find an adult without an IDChip and that language of yours…,” he asked me.

Well, this was the last question. I couldn't hope to gamble through this with a guess.

I furrowed my brows while trying to figure out how to save my hide. Perhaps he saw my troubled expression because he backed off.

“I’m sorry. It’s private information where you lived before in the Core Regions. I shouldn’t have asked something so personal. Unless… Mr. Aium, are you from the Core Regions? Previously you avoided the question I believe.” He looked at me with slightly narrowed eyes.

I looked back at him without flinching.

“You are right. It’s not polite, but for your information, I’m from the Core Regions.” I desperately hoped I managed to convince him.

He stared at me for a few more seconds then nodded. I’ve got yet another tight question.

“Any relatives or legal partner?” he continued.

“No,” I said with a hollow voice.

“Occupation?”

“None,” I answered right away.

This should have been the safest answer, right? But what if unemployment was nonexistent here? Oh boy...

“Oh, in this case, I’ll set up the allowance, so you wouldn’t have to bother with it,” he said with a smile.

“Allowance?” I blurted out without thinking.

“Oh… You don’t know. Nevermind. The Semwick Empire grants every citizen the opportunity to apply for allowance if they are unemployed. It’s not much, but definitely enough to get by, until you can find a proper job,” he explained.

Oh, wow. So I didn’t have to work here?! This wasn't hell, this was heaven! I died, and the God of Kindness sent me to heaven.

“Thank you,” I said to mustache man.

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s our job, and on top of that, we made a huge mistake concerning you. It’s the least I can do for you. Next up is your race.”

“Human?” I said with slight uncertainty.

*tap-tap-tap*

“Sex?”

“Male.”

Wasn't it obvious?!

“Okay, now comes the second part I told you earlier,” said Mr. Mustache while taking a glance at the devilish devices in front of me.

“First, we’ll have to scan your brain’s wavelength signature. Both this and the DNA sample later serves the purpose of providing the IDChip and us with information about you. In the first compartment, there’s a small disk. Please take it out and hold it against your forehead for a few seconds until you hear the sound signaling the completion. The device will record the necessary information.”

I followed his instructions, but I was still a bit jumpy about this. I hoped I wouldn’t lose consciousness and wake up in some kind of sex dungeon. This mustache guy didn’t look like it, but you could never be sure when it came to these things. After a few seconds I heard the beep sound, and I placed the device back down. Internally I was grateful I didn’t wake up in a sex dungeon.

“Now, please press down your finger on the hole in the second compartment. You’ll feel a small sting. It’s necessary to take a blood sample so that we can get a DNA reading.”

I did as he said. After the small sting, I removed my finger and sucked on it by instinct. I glanced at the third compartment, which brought back bad memories. Before I could continue my doom thoughts I heard a beep sound and a red light lit up in the second compartment.

“Huh? That’s unexpected,” said mustache with wide eyes while he began typing away furiously on his table.

“Is there a problem?” I asked him.

“I wouldn’t say it’s a problem, it’s just surprising. The red light shouldn’t light up normally. It’s a sign that the DNA sample contains something the system couldn’t identify,” he said.

Oh shit. I was pickled.

“Well, your race checks out as human as you said earlier and there’s nothing that would cause any major worry... I guess,” he said while staring intently at his holoscreen.

After a few seconds, he snapped out from his daze, typed for a minute and then continued.

“The last part would be implanting your IDChip, but we’ve already got that covered,” he said. “Looks like we’re done here. I told you it’s a simple and fast process,” continued Mustache Master with a smile. “Where are you heading from here?” he asked me nonchalantly, but I could see the spark in his eyes. I knew this guy was tricky.

“Oh, I don’t really know,” I said with a frown.

“So, you came here like that huh? If you need a place to stay, try checking out the GrassHut. It’s a decent place where you can hole up for a while. It’s not far from here, just head right after leaving the building and keep an eye out for the sign. They are one of the cheapest around here, but it will be more than an hour before your chip can be used to spend your allowance. Other than that, if you have physical currency with you, I advise you to exchange it quickly for credits. There aren’t many places here where you can pay with those.”

I nodded silently in response.

“That’s all I guess. I wish you a great time while staying on our planet and I hope we can meet again in the future,” he finished while standing up and shooting a friendly smile towards me.

“Thank you. I guess I’ll leave now? Bye!” I smiled wryly and left the room using the same door I came through earlier. I wouldn’t dare stretching out my stay in that room. I could feel the guy was severely suspicious.

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Roka’s PoV

I politely stood up before saying my goodbyes to this enigma of a guy.

“Thank you. I guess I’ll leave now? Bye!” he said like a scared cat and basically escaped the room in seconds.

After his quick departure, my smile slowly left my face, and I looked down at my holoscreen. It was showing Mr. Aium’s DNA sample results. The part about his race was still blinking with a red light: “Human/Unknown”.

I’ve never seen anything like this before. What was with the unknown part? There shouldn’t have been anything unknown to the system on this field.

“English huh? Where did this guy come from?” I furrowed my brows even further.