A lot of people think doing nothing professionally for hours is laughably easy. Well, those people can eat a bag of shit because I felt dead after only 6 hours of boring idling at my new job. Well, it was less than 6 hours because I spent the first one looking at the machines and the robots to satisfy my curiosity but that wonder of new was short lived.
Staring at the ceiling while laying on the couch with an empty food package seemed like all I could manage this evening at home. I wasn’t tired physically but mentally.
I would have to think up something else because I couldn’t waste my life away like this. I needed money desperately, but if push came to shove, I could think up other sources of income.
I looked out the fake window. It was already dark, but I couldn’t see anything. Didn’t have to think too much why it was weird. I hadn’t seen the stars once since I got here. The more disturbing realization was I hadn’t seen the sun or any moons.
It was a travesty. I was in a space empire in the future, and I was spending my precious time staring at holoscreens all day either in my tiny room or my pretend job. There was a whole world outside, and the only thing standing in my way was my lack of ambition. I knew I needed money to do something more with myself here, but I hadn’t yet decided on what exactly I wanted to do.
Watching the documentaries all the time was one thing, but I had the possibility to see everything with my own eyes. Well, I doubted I could see everything interesting out there even if I had immortality, but that wasn’t the point here. I wanted to see the stars; I wanted to see worlds that I couldn’t even imagine. I wanted to see a black hole with my own eyes. This decision should have been so obvious. I was fascinated by how the mind worked. Just one simple moment, one thought, one smell or sight could flip that particular switch and change the way you think instantly.
[Hey, Genna. I think I want to go to space.]
[What, now?]
[Not now, but the sooner, the better. I want to see the world,] I said while staring out of my fake window.
[Where did this come from? Just when you got a nice job, and things were smoothing out.]
[I intended this as a temporary job. You can’t seriously think that I would be willing to do this for years?]
[Where would you go in space? Another planet or station?]
[Not like that. I want to go around and just… see things.]
[So, you want to travel on your own? You would need a ship for that, and I’m fairly certain you won’t get enough money for one in this decade.]
[I’ll think of something.]
[You could get a ticket for a fair price to nearly anywhere or even save up for your own shuttle and travel around the area here, but a full-fledged spaceship is out of your reach for now.]
[I could rob a bank,] I smirked.
[Please no,] Genna whimpered.
[As I said, I’ll think of something. Is there anything I would have to learn to travel around space? Like ship license or something?]
[There are three stages of knowledge for spaceship control. You need to master them in order to control ships in specific areas. Inter-galaxy travel only requires Basic knowledge. You have to take an online test to get the certificate. Let me just inform you in advance that I’m forbidden to help you during these tests.]
[Oh, come on… Why wouldn’t you help me? Who would notice?]
[Me...]
[And you love me, so, you wouldn’t let me fail a test, would you?]
[Who said I love you?] she asked in a serious tone.
I opened my eyes wide open and gasped theatrically while clutching my chest.
[Are you cheating on me? It’s the fridge, isn’t it? I saw how it looked at you the other day,] I whispered with a shaking voice.
[One of these days, I’ll find proof that you are a lunatic,] she said dead serious.
[Says the one boning the fridge...] I said while grinning.
[If I were you I would worry about myself not getting boned by a woman,] she said venomously.
[What was that?] I asked while sitting up. The previous grin was completely gone from my face now.
[Nothing. I was just putting random words after each other.]
[No, no, no, no! What was that about getting boned by a woman?] I asked in a panic.
[Nooooothing. It’s just a random saying here you know.] she said oh so innocently. I would have believed her if she didn’t stretch out that “nothing” so damn obviously.
[Is she… is she going to bone ME? Is that how things work here?] I was getting scared.
[Of course not… I mean usually not… but in this case… Let’s just stay hopeful, okay?]
That didn’t help at all!
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Next morning before work Genna helped me look up the Basic Spaceship Control Knowledge on the online market. When I asked her about why were we buying it online instead of in a shop in person she said something about different product categories and tax brackets. Honestly, I didn’t pay attention to her. Anytime I didn’t know something she would go into crazy lecture mode. Which was fine, since most of the time she said interesting things, but tax brackets? Come on…
Anyway, the thing was a modern textbook. The stuff itself was only 5000 credits, which was a pleasant surprise. Naturally, Genna had to crush my cheap reality with the price of the test itself for the license. It was 20000 credits per attempt, and the failure rate was sky high since the A.I.s weren’t allowed to help. I couldn’t really blame them. I’ve only had Genna for a couple of days, and I already depended on her on too many fronts. I couldn’t even imagine how it was for people who had A.I.s since childhood.
It was an investment, so I didn’t think about it too hard and just bought it. I had lunch at home before going to work. Eating out was a nice thing but if you were saving up for something it wasn’t something you could enjoy all the time. I dressed up, slipped into my sneakers and turned off the lights and the fake wall as usual before leaving.
I arrived on time. Helen was sitting the same way as yesterday. Glued to the screen and unresponsive. I went closer and called her name a few times.
“Oh, hey new guy. Couldn’t you wait a few more minutes? I was just about finishing a solo dungeon you know… Not cool,” she said with a grimace.
“Sorry, I guess, but your shift is over,” I responded with a shrug.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“And you could have waited for a few more minutes easily… Whatever.” With that, she stormed into the back room to change.
[Game addiction is a real issue,] I marveled.
[You don’t have to tell me. Far too many people live their lives in VR programs,] said, Genna.
[You always shit on VR games but is that your own opinion or they programmed you to look at it disapprovingly as a soft propaganda against it?]
[How do you know about this?] asked Genna with a slightly higher pitched voice.
[Educated guess. It’s pretty obvious.]
[Well, you aren’t wrong, but actually, it’s a mix of both. Even without the directives I would try to discourage you from them.]
[Are you sure? Can you know the difference?]
[I’m sure.]
The day was looking out to be just as boring as yesterday, however, now I had something useful to do. I had the spaceship driving textbook. My eagerness quickly faded away when I opened it and did a quick run-through of its contents. Unfortunately, most of it were protocols, regulations, safety rules, management rules and all kinds of utterly boring and dry topics. And here I was hoping to learn something fun and interesting today.
I was sweating through the mindless docking protocols when the holoscreen switched to a flashing message. It was a delivery! I would have to deliver something personally since the robots failed to finish it three times.
The jumper bay of the company was on the 40th floor. The whole level was the jumper bay. Supposedly my jumper was ready to go with the package already loaded in. The place was one open area with several support pillars and numerous jumpers parking around. Some robots were going about their business loading and unloading them, and I saw a few taking off and leaving through the side wall of the building. Calling them walls wasn’t exactly correct since the four sides of the floor were open to the outside. Genna said that only a thin shield was there that lets the jumpers pass through freely but keeps the weather effects outside.
My jumper was the 54th one. It didn’t take long to find it since all of them had a big number on them. The vehicle itself looked like a huge, light green jelly bean. Oval form, smooth surface, and no apparent windows, doors, wheels or thrusters. It really was like a giant jelly bean.
I tried reaching out, and the side of the jelly bean separated into thin plates which folded onto themselves to reveal the interior. Nothing fancy. Two seats and a holoscreen in the middle. To my surprise, there were really no windows. This was a fully closed flying jelly bean can. I really hoped to have a look around from high above, but it wouldn’t happen this day sadly.
I jumped in, and the door closed back down. The interior was dimly lit by the holoscreen in front of me.
“Ready for departure?” it read.
I hit the confirm button, and I felt a slight movement. Another terrible disappointment for the day was the realization of I didn’t have to drive this. The location was already set, and the jelly bean would carry me there automatically. I would just have to drop off the package, and that was it.
This was a freaking pretend job for people to feel like they are doing something. Artificially kept jobs to keep people occupied. Fucking sad.
I wished I could say something about the trip, but the flying can didn’t give me any opportunities to look around or do anything at all.
We’ve arrived in less than 10 minutes. The door opened up similarly, and this time the back of the jelly bean opened up too to reveal the package I was supposed to deliver.
I was on a similar jumper floor in one of those skyscrapers. According to my instructions, I would have to go to the 49th floor, find the 4937th room and give the package to the owner. Unlike the GreenHut Hotel these rooms were privately owned, so I had to bring the box to the room. I couldn't just drop it off at the reception.
It didn’t take long to find the room. I used the so-called ringer of the room and even knocked several times, but there was no response.
It looked like an utterly pointless trip. The delivery failed again. Hopefully, someone else will try this again next time because I was sure as hell not looking forward to these trips.
I tried reaching for the door’s metal plate to check if it was open.
[Aium! What are you doing?!] she asked immediately.
[Just checking, calm down. What if the guy is dead inside, or needs medical attention?] I argued.
[His A.I. would have called for help then. Please don’t go in uninvited,] she pleaded.
After thinking for a few seconds, I still tried to open it, but it was closed.
[See? It’s closed. I couldn’t have gone in.]
[But you tried! Can you just stop being like this for one day? You are giving me a headache with these questionable actions.]
[Well, girls like bad boys...]
[That’s not true,] she disagreed.
[There are none, so girls don’t know they want them. It’s time to give them what their heart desires, don’t you think?]
[Absolutely not! You should wake up from your delusions.]
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The following afternoon I went out to buy nicer clothes for my date. We went to the same store as before. Passing the girl’s home, I stole from gave us an awkward silence, though.
The cashier was a mushroom person again, but I had no idea if it was the same one as the last time. Understandably, it was nearly impossible for me to differentiate them. Was I racist? I genuinely couldn’t notice the difference between them, except their different colored dust clouds.
This time I bought a fancier looking button-up shirt, gray pants and a simple looking black pair of shoes. I couldn’t go on a date in a pair of white sneakers. Genna tried to talk me into something more colorful, but the proposition was vetoed by the Council, which only had one member… me.
It was early afternoon, so it was high time for a nice lunch. It was advisable to eat a few hours before a date. I went to the same snack alley as before and had a meal that looked similar to lasagna but tasted like tomato soup. I wish I had some bread to go with it.
As time went on, I was getting more and more anxious about the evening. Genna’s spiteful comments didn’t help at all either. Even in my time, I was out of the dating game for a long time, but now, I was out of it for thousand of years. I knew it was awkward and uncomfortable but asking questions in advance usually worked out for the better.
[Genna, can we talk seriously?]
[Anytime. I’m here to help.]
[So, the date… I’m on edge here. You know the last time I went on a first date was like seven years ago with my previous girlfriend, and after her, I didn’t really felt the urge to find a new one. I had a really rough time back then and finding a new girlfriend was the least of my worries. Now, that I spent a few thousand years as single I feel a little rusty and out of the loop. My question is if I need to know anything beforehand. I’m thinking about customs, dos and don’ts, protection...] The last part came out so quietly I hoped she didn’t even hear it.
[Well, being honest is always the safest way to go about these. You can just tell her that you don’t have any recent dating experiences. I’m sure she’ll understand your gawkiness. If you get into any particular situation, I’ll be there with you to help out. If you end up in a situation that leads to intercourse you should ask her about protection. It’s better to be safe than sorry,] she explained calmly.
[Well, that was straightforward as usual. If we really end up in bed somehow… please don’t give me advice, okay? It would be freaking weird.]
[Okay. I’ll save my already prepared support suggestions for another time.]
I couldn’t respond to that. My forehead was sweating. She prepared comments… I didn’t think this was how the help part of her code was supposed to function. She was stretching the meaning of those principles paper thin. I bet she enjoyed making me cringe.
Later I took a long steam and scrubbed down myself extra thoroughly. I tried to make my hair look nice too. I ran my hand through it a few times while looking at my reflection in the mirror. I was still young, yet my hair was already gray in some places. I didn’t complain about it because I liked it to some extent. I went with a simple hairstyle as always. I tried to use a mix of water and saliva to make my hair stand up a little at the front. It was something.
I dressed myself up in my new clothes and sat down on my bed. My stomach was churning, and my palms were sweaty. I needed to calm down a little, so I drank some cold water which didn’t help at all. I decided to head up early in the hope that a little walk will make me less stressed out.
The 10th floor was an open area parking garage for jumpers. All four sides of the building were open with the weak weather fields like at my work. There were plenty of jumpers parked here. I did a little circle and checked out the vehicles. I found a few that looked pretty nice and stood out among the boring, mass-produced cheap ones.
A jumper came in on one side, and I nearly threw up from nervousness. Thankfully it wasn’t my ride yet. I paced between the rows of empty parking spots. She was late. Maybe this was really just a prank to make fun of the new guy. I was already thinking about going back to my room, kicking up my feet and watching something on the holoscreen.
Unfortunately, my hopeful, anti-social plans were cut short by the next incoming jumper. It was an eye-catching, sleek, blue jumper. It stood out, and I was sure about whom it belonged to.
The jumper found a parking spot near me, and the window just disappeared into thin air.
"Nice, nice! You look presentable today. Kal likes your style," she winked at me. "Don’t make this lady wait on you. Come quickly, jump in. We have places to be and things to do."
Her eyes were shining unusually bright this time. I gulped and went up to the jumper.