Bonus Chapter: Ash versus Thanos

“What do you mean by rabies?” Brandon pondered aloud. “I don’t think I want rabies. Are you some sick and perverted person? You’re not a person I want to be friends with.”

“I am asking you if there’s any rabies nearby – in this town would be nice, but I will go to another town if I have to,” Thanos said. He looked eager to get what he wanted, even if it meant confusing our poor heroes and heroine – Pedro, Brandon, and most importantly Harper – and getting on their nerves. “And if I find rabies, I can give them to you.”

“Look here,” said Pedro, who looked as if he had enough of Thanos’s annoyance, “I do not know what’s wrong with you, or whether you are on something, but for all that is holy, my friends and I do not want rabies. If you do manage to get in contact with rabies, don’t bother coming back to see us.”

“But we could beat rabies together. They deserve to be beaten up, stupid things. And we can force them to tell us where their gathering is,” said Thanos, “and then we can beat them up as well. This is so much fun.” Thanos started to hop about extremely animatedly.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means,” said Pedro, who was still trying to get some sense into Thanos. “But if I think I know what you’re talking about, I’m not going to help you. I like those people, and don’t want to see them come to any harm.”

“You’re a sympathizer!” said Thanos. “You’re a heretic! A traitor to my cause.” He walked up to Jo Anne who still had her face in the mud – since she fell over again after being defeated by Harper – and helped her up. “I am a person, and nothing is going to stop me! Even though I am a person – and I am also a man – I will still try and rid this world of other people. I don’t believe in tolerance. And this is in canon and hectically correct. ”

“Well for a matter of a fact,” said Harper, “I am as well. Unlike you, I respect other people – everything about them. While I will tell people of my cause; if they refuse, then I will respect their decision and I will continue being friends with them.”

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“It still doesn’t mean that you will stop me!” Thanos kept going on and on and on. “No one can stop me. Not even Ironman and Captain America – taking on two fronts in war can be winnable.”

“Well, I’m going to stop you!” said Ash. “I’m of you and I challenge you to a Pokemon Battle. Your deranged rants have gone on for too long. Prepare to be defeated. I’m the champion of Kanto; and even though I’m visiting this place, I still have the law on my side and I do know a few police officers, such as Jenny and Jenny and Jenny and Jenny and Jenny…”

“I think I get the points. You know a lot of genies…” Thanos said.

“He’s at it again…” Pedro complained, nick picking at whatever the fake Thanos said.

“Then accept my challenge,” said Ash.

“I can’t,” said Thanos.

“Why not accept? Are you a chicken,” Ash said before making chicken noises?

“It is because I’m not a Pokemon Trainer!” Thanos screamed.

“Fine enough,” said Ash. “We can still battle you… directly! Pikachu, I choose you!” Out of a ball came a cute Pikachu - which was yellow and was a mouse. It looked really happy and ready to take on anything, including a human.

“You can’t do that!” Thanos said, shaking his fist in anger! He stormed about in circles, ranting again. It felt as if it was never going to end. “Only another Pokemon can a Pokemon fight! Any other way is simply illogical!”

“This is a parody,” said Harper, now coming to Ash’s defence. “I doubt logic is the concern of this author.” Everyone clapped at Harper’s speech, even though it wasn’t that long. This annoyed Thanos even more, walking around and around in circles, ranting more and more, until someone had to shut him up.

“Snap out of it,” Ash said, slapping Thanos in the face.

“Slapped me?” Thanos said, tending to his hurt face – Ash was firm and very masculine, so he could slap anyone, and he could make it hurt. “You will suffer for this! I’ll take over the universe, and once I have done so, you will be the first one to face my wrath!”

“Try me,” Ash said, before looking at Pikachu. Pikachu nodded its head as if it knew what its trainer was about to say. “Thunderbolt!” yelled Ash, pointing towards the fake Thanos. Pikachu started to glow extremely yellowy, flashing again and again, until it burst out a bolt of thunder, aiming directly towards Thanos.

“Pikachu!” the little mouse screamed!

Realizing what was going on, Thanos darted off before the bolt could strike him. He charged toward the forest entrance, but it was too late – Pikachu’s Thunderbolt had struck, knocking the fake Thanos down. But Thanos started to glow red and flashed madly until he started to grow bigger and bigger and much bigger, till it covered everywhere.

“I am Giganaught – an insane man – and I will get my revenge onto all of you!” the thing boomed across the town. “Prepare to be squashed!”