A thin smile on my lips is all I can muster as the camera Rotom takes my picture. My chest is tight and my heart is pounding in my throat.

“If you pass the test, you will receive discounts on the purchase of all kinds of balls and potions. The integrated shops in Pokémon Centers and even the big supermarket chains are required to give you discounts as soon as you show your ID card.” The woman behind the counter looks at me briefly before she programmes in the last details.

There are gaps in the questionnaire I had to fill in about myself. For some questions, such as naming both parents, I already wanted to back out. Only Spinel, who stands firmly behind me and prevents me from leaving, is responsible for me being able to accept a thinly laminated card.

“The date of your test is written on this card. Don’t lose it. It’s basically your ticket to the first professor’s test,” the receptionist continues. “I wish you good luck.”

My hands are soaked with sweat. I can barely hold the card steady to get a glimpse of the data. My name, age and the date I will be returning here to take the test are written in straight black letters on a pink background. It’s not much, but it makes the first step much more real. I can hardly wait.

“Are we heading back?” Spinel, his hands folded patiently in front of his lap, doesn’t take his eyes off me for a second. My rigid expression and shaking shoulders seem to give him gentle amusement. All I can do is nod.

Only when we step outside the door of the mighty building, with the emblem of the Professors’ Association hanging above the entrance, do I dare to breathe a sigh of relief. Then we make our way to the headquarters and, for the first time since I arrived here with the others, I don’t feel completely out of place. The closely spaced buildings and the dark alleyways in between, where the dirt carries unpleasant odours into the crowd, no longer overwhelm me. With every step I take, I become more accustomed to the image of a place I lived in not so long ago – unable to remember more than blurred facades and shades of grey.

Briefly, I lower my eyelids. In these seconds, I don’t want to dwell on days gone by. There are better hours for that, more opportunities and more suitable circumstances. So I turn to Spinel. “You said when we first met that you could also give me access to the basement. You’re a ... professor? Researcher?”

“Not licensed.” A soft laugh washes over him. “I’ve never completed the exams. Research is more of a hobby.”

“What do you research?”

“Technical things. I worked a lot with mechanics, computer programmes and other systems from an early age,” he explains. “Followed by training as a computer scientist, which ultimately brought me into the ranks of the Explorers.”

His explanation is brief, but easy to visualise. He doesn’t come across as someone who is content with the simple world of basic computer programmes. Part of him exudes a desire for more – a feeling I can relate to. Sometimes things don’t seem to be enough, so you create new ones, dig deeper and go down abstract paths.

“To answer your question: At the moment, I’m working on the Terastal phenomenon.”

My eyes widen. I have no clue what he’s talking about, so he eyes me for a breath before a stifled giggle escapes him.

“It’s a way to make Pokémon stronger. Similar to the Z-Move, which is mainly used in Alola.” He looks straight ahead. “Many regions have their own way of strengthening Pokémon. Here in Unova, for example, you won’t find many people who are familiar with the Z-Move or even the Terastal phenomenon.”

“What does this region specialise in?”

“Combat power and skill.” With a dismissive wave of his hand, Spinel lets out a sigh. “Unova is one region that specialises in normal Pokémon battles. Trainers here prove their skills in the arenas without using aids. They compete based on pure skill.” He tilts his head briefly in my direction. “However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t witness official battles outside the arenas from time to time, in which a wide variety of techniques are used.”

In general, Unova seems to be a place where everything comes together and yet there are favoured ways of fighting that are followed here as a tradition. I can’t say that a battle that’s all about skill sounds boring. After all, it’s hardly any different in Alola, considering how unreliable the use of the Z-Move is.

“Is this Terastal phenomenon easier to use than the Z-Move?” There are probably endless requirements to fulfil for each power.

“I would say so.” Spinel’s words shatter my thoughts. “The Z-Move requires your emotions to match those of your Pokémon. It also requires them to be strong enough to release the power of the crystals – something many fail on, making this power a hindrance in a simple Pokémon battle. The Terastallization, however, requires nothing more than a special orb that needs to be recharged after each use.”

It almost sounds too simple. Then again, this Terastal phenomenon may not be nearly as powerful as the Z-Move. I’m missing too much information to compare the two. Maybe one day the Explorers will give me a glimpse of the power of this unknown force. Until then, all I can do is guess.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to assess the differences and the potential uses quickly,” Spinel continues. “You’ve already triggered the Z-Move three times, I’ve been told. It certainly takes a fair amount of skill and emotional intelligence to get yourself in the right mood. That makes my research a lot more interesting.”

Heat builds up in my cheeks as I twist my mouth and let my gaze wander over the facades of the buildings so I don’t have to look at my companion. His words are so much more endearing than any praise Amethio has yet mustered, it almost feels strange. However, I can’t find myself in his words. The only reason I could use the power is because of the voice in my head; the being that helped me overflow my anger, fear, and loathing. I couldn’t have done any of this on my own, and the certainty turns Spinel’s compliments into nasty pinpricks.

When I think about it, I prefer Amethio’s comments. He never praised me for using a fickle power, but for victories at the end of a battle. When I could help Lillie with her mum and also when I got us both out of the Lush Jungle. Those were actions for which I deserved his praise. This, between me and Spinel, leaves the bitter aftertaste of a lie I never told.

The Explorers’ building draws closer with every blink, and although it is the headquarters, there is no emblem or sign to mark where the organisation is based. They linger quietly and secretly among the citizens of Unova, and perhaps it’s because no one needs an intruder stealing any secrets. It’s different from the Aether Foundation, which had more employees than I could count on both hands. The Explorers seem small. I haven’t met anyone in the corridors apart from Spinel.

As soon as we leave the entrance behind, I take a deep breath. There are so many things I need to worry about and yet I hardly know where to start. Especially not when I spot a girl my age leaning casually against the wall and looking over at us.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“There you are, finally! I thought I’d have to wait forever for you to come back and waste even more time.” She snorts. Her nagging voice has a nasal undertone and when she puts both hands on her hips, Spinel and I eventually stop. “Out with the new girl, huh?”

As she takes a few steps closer and I get a better look at her black outfit, all I can do is back away as she leans forward. Her two pink pigtails sway back and forth.

“Such a bore! She shies away just by looking!” She straightens up again with a wry grin, but doesn’t take her eyes off me. “And she’s supposed to be special?”

“You sound like you haven’t read Amethio’s report, Sango.” The smile on Spinel’s lips takes on a smug hint, so for a moment, I can only look back and forth between the two of them.

“Of course I’ve read it. Still doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe Onyx didn’t read it to you loud enough?”

“I said I read it!”

“Meaning you read it and didn’t understand it, which would explain your question. Then again, you could have read it and in your impatience skipped the most important parts, like you did with the failed mission in Galar.” He tilts his head. “Maybe you should go and-”

While Sango is already taking a deep breath to counter Spinel, another member of the organisation intervenes and grabs the girl by the collar from behind. Spinel falls silent. The sudden appearance of the stranger sends unease through my body, which doesn’t subside even when he gives me a barely perceptible nod.

“Agate has been asking for you. She couldn’t reach you,” he explains in a low voice directed at Spinel. His yellow eyes barely convey life.

“Ah, I must have forgotten my Rotom Phone.”

“You never forget your Rotom Phone!” Sango interjects, far too loudly and far too unruly, causing the guy behind her to let out a strained sigh. He lowers his eyelids and I can hardly deny that the dark red strands of hair framing his face and fading into deep black create an exciting contrast to his tanned skin.

“Maybe I left it behind on purpose,” Spinel replies, a half-laugh on his lips, before shrugging his shoulders and waving it off. “I guess this is where we part ways for now, Domino. I hope to see you again soon.”

He doesn’t touch me, doesn’t get too close, and yet his words are so gentle I feel like I can sense his breath on my skin. As goosebumps run down my arms, he turns and goes on his way, leaving me behind with the other two. But before Sango can say anything, the stranger drags her behind him. Her loud protests and wild arm waving, causing her far too long sleeves to fling around, are met with ignorance.

For a moment, I dare to take a deep breath. This girl is the first exuberant personality I’ve encountered on my journey and being part of the Explorers means she must be good at what she does. Anyone who doesn’t have the same ability as me must have more to offer elsewhere. Amethio is strong, knows how to gather information and is skilful in his hunting. Spinel knows how to fight and certainly shines with his research skills. Zir and Conia are very reliable and I think Sango and her strange companion also bring something to the table that I can’t compete with.

With a shake of my head, I push the thought away. There’s nothing I can’t learn.

So my legs push forward, straight to the lift that takes me to the first floor, where I find peace in my room. In this place, I don’t have to brace myself for any encounters, and as I let my team out, these four walls feel almost homely.

With a flourish, I throw myself onto my swivel chair and lean back. For a breath, all I want to think about is the good things, the progress and the test that will soon judge me. As I close my eyes, scenarios unfold before my eyes on what my future could look like. Me, in a white coat, ready to explore things others have given up on, all in my own lab. In between, adventures and my team that accompanies me on every little mission. Occasional assignments from the Explorers.

Now and again, time with Amethio and the other two.

I remember how beautiful the violet colour of his eyes shimmered as we stood together on the submarine and listened to the waves. The starry sky above us and the universe beyond. The seconds when we talked to each other, and I realised we’d probably never be completely alone with our tasks. In between, a breath of loneliness enveloping him as if to keep him warm.

In those gasps he had been exceptionally pretty – caught in a picturesque image of the night; in the pale glow of all the faults he possesses and cannot shake off. A quiet moment that we let pass silently.

“That miserable bitch!”

Roaring snaps me out of my idle dream and, as I look around, I’m overcome with a stinging sensation in my head.

“If it wasn’t for that bloody glass, I’d have shown her who she was messing with!”

They reappear; the voices I heard the day before and whose whereabouts I couldn’t even track down with Spinel.

“I ... shouldn’t get upset too, but ... if I get out of here, I’ll destroy this woman first. I will ... probably never forget that sharp look.”

It is the two male voices that surround me and only when I hear the sobs of another do I realise they are still all in the same place.

“We... We have to stay strong,” someone whimpers. “We-”

“Can’t you see what will happen if we stay here?” the angry one thunders. “Who knows if she’ll ever recover!”

“You need to calm down. She can’t help what that woman did,” snorts the deep tenor. “Next time, we’ll be prepared. We’ll fight back, break out, and save our friend.”

I want to get up, help them, but I know I won’t find them. My last search already failed and part of me is sure it wouldn’t end any differently this time. Maybe one day I’ll get a lead another way. A possibility. All I can do now is take a deep breath and tune it out.

But while they argue in my head, it’s impossible to close a single eye. I can barely concentrate on my thoughts, so I push myself off the chair and fall into bed. The next moment I’m digging the Rotom Phone out of my skirt pocket and going through my contacts. Apart from Amethio and the other two, I’ve only saved Spinel and Lillie’s numbers and when I start a chat with her, I don’t know what to say at first. It takes a moment for my fingers to flit across the display automatically.

Domino:

I hope you arrived safely in Kanto and could find the man

to help your mum get back on her feet. I also hope Guzma doesn’t start

trouble and that you don’t feel too lonely without us or Gladion.

Have you made friends in Kanto?

Do you miss Alola?

We arrived in Unova, a city made of concrete, a day ago.

Thanks to our search for the black Rayquaza, we previously travelled to

Galar and, would you believe it, we met a Moltres.

A Galarian Moltres!

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see much of the region itself, as there was trouble

between the Explorers and a group called Rising Volt Tacklers.

These are adventurers who possess a Pokémon that

can cause a lot of damage, which we naturally want to avoid.

I’ve hardly been able to make any friends so far. There’s a young

man called Spinel, who seems quite nice, but when I think about it,

we don’t know each other well enough to be called friends.

I would also like to mention that I have signed up for my first exam

and as part of that I would like to ask you:

Is there some kind of power-up for Pokémon in Kanto

that’s mainly used in that region, or do the trainers

there rely solely on their skills?

Wish your mum a good rest.

As my finger presses send, I take a quick look at the clock. It’s now six in the evening. I should organise food and feed my team. But before I can pull myself together, Raya jumps into bed with so much vigour I think I’m going to fly off. Still, a laugh escapes my throat and as I press her fluffy fur against me, I recognise my entire team. They had kept quiet before, as if they didn’t want to disturb me, but Growlithe’s eagerness has broken the silence between us.

While Mirra sits down next to me on the pillow and wiggles back and forth, Ying settles down at my side next to the bed. Coro flutters swiftly to the foot of the bed and for a moment we are all together. The voices in my head fade into the background and the certainty I’m not alone eases the guilt of not being able to do anything.

“All good?” As Mimikyu’s costume head snaps to one side, I can’t help but straighten it.

“It’s all good. As long as you’re here ... there won’t be any problems.” My nose buries in Raya’s fur. “But we should go to the kitchen.”

Sounds of agreement reach me, driving the voices completely out of my head and almost drowning out the ringing of the Rotom Phone, which is practically shouting at me. Immediately, I grab the device, hoping to hear Lillie’s voice in my ear in the next moment. But my movements freeze when I recognise the number on my display. I didn’t save it after I gave the old mobile phone away, because it shouldn’t play a role in this phase of my life. But I would recognise these digits anywhere.

The sweat in my palms sticks the phone case to my fingers so I can’t drop it. Instead, I clutch the Rotom tighter, unable to do anything but stare at the display.

My father calls. And I know I’m not going to answer it.