“It’s dark...”

My hands rest against my skull. The throbbing behind my forehead threatens to break through the bone.

“Where am I?”

Pressing my lips together, I squeeze my eyes shut a little tighter.

“Where are the others?”

The bed beneath me seems anything but soft or comfortable. It doesn’t promise peace and quiet, nor does it give me a place to retreat from the voices in my head – and the burning pain in my back won't let up.

“I want to get out of here.”

Noise. A television seems to switch channels.

I remember.

“And in the next episode of ‘Pokémon Super Ranger’: No power to bullies!”

The television flickers. Dad always says that one day it will probably just stop working and we’ll have to buy a new one, even though he’s so reluctant to part with old items. He thinks we should appreciate aged things because they have history. But if you have to decide what’s more important, you should always choose the future over the past.

My attention slowly drifts away from the screen, which was previously showing my favourite series and is now broadcasting the news. Something about Pokémon. Something about conflict. Something.

I shakily pick myself up on my numb legs, stride across the wooden floor and listen to the creaking planks. Mum always complains about them, because it means she can’t sneak up on Dad to scare him.

Mum.

“Boo!”

My heart leaps into my throat as I back away and crash onto my behind. The loud laugh from the woman in the doorway is so warm that crying is out of the question. Instead, I puff out my cheeks. “Not cool!”

She is beautiful. At least I don’t know a more beautiful woman than my mum. Her light brown, almost golden hair shimmers in the daylight and her smile is so warm that her pointed nose hardly looks dangerous – a stark contrast to the moments when she reprimands me. The sparkle in her violet eyes expresses amusement, and in the end I have to laugh.

“Where have you been?” Stretching my legs away from me, I look up at her and watch as she squats down.

“I bought something wonderful for you today.” She lowers her eyelids a little. “Your father and I have been thinking about this for a long time, but we’ve never been able to decide how to approach it. I mean ... what if you don’t like your present? What if a different partner would have been better for you? Questions and questions.” She sighs. “But I saw it ... no ... I saw her, and I thought you’d be perfect together.”

Whatever she’s talking about, my curiosity is piqued!

When she leans back briefly to grab something next to the door, behind the wall, I crawl to my knees. I swallow audibly, my damp little hands clenched into fists on my lap.

And then, in the next breath, she pulls out a Pokémon. All black, with red eyebrows and eyelids and feet and a fluffy head. It’s not notably big, but I think it fits perfectly in my arms.

“It’s a Zorua,” my mum explains. “She’s only a year old and I’ve been told that if she makes friends with someone, she can be very playful. The previous owner called her Ying. But we can probably give her a different name if you don’t like it.”

Ying. A Zorua. By far the cutest Pokémon in the world. Probably.

“For me?” To make sure, I look at my mum a little more firmly.

“For you,” she confirms. “She’s going to look after you from today ... as your little sister. Be good to her.”

“Shit...” I want to claw my eyes out of my head as heated tears gather on my eyelids. My skull seems to be bursting and these vague memories from goddamn no-man's-land aren’t making it any better.

Simultaneously, these images, these conversations, tug at my heart. The more I try to think about my life before Alola, the more gaps I find. I’m missing too many memories. Too many years. Too many stages of life.

The sobs inevitably break free from my throat. Until two seconds ago, I didn’t even remember what my mum looked like – I couldn’t put her voice or her appearance into the pictures before. She was the one who touched me with love. The woman who looked after me when something occurred, which of course I can’t remember either.

What happened to her?

I also knew that Ying and I had always been together. We’ve been sharing this mess of a life for years. But remembering now that I got her when I was seven, the day the last episode of my favourite children’s show was on before they cancelled it out of the blue, hits me differently. She’s eleven now.

My Zorua is eleven years old.

How many more years does she have?

Once again, I toss and turn on the mattress. The floral scent of summer blossoms fills my nose and yet leaves no peace. My insides are on fire. Everything inside me wants to jump up, wants to bang my head against the wall and hope it costs me consciousness. I’m too tired to get through another day if I can’t get a wink of sleep.

Still, I run my palms over my face and sit up. There is no hope of sleep in these seconds. So I swing myself out of bed and throw on my clothes. Maybe some fresh air, a walk – anything to calm my nerves – will help. Amethio spoke of a Pokémon Center nearby. I should stock up. Thanks to the little beach job, I have some money I can use. For balls, potions, and all kinds of healing items.

My steps stagger like those of a Spinda. I have to find my feet before I can walk in a straight line. But I only gain my balance when I catch the door handle and push myself into the corridor.

The silence of the accommodation brings my breathing to the fore and the circumstances almost remind me of the night I tried to run away from home. A glance at the Rotom, however, tells me it’s only just past midnight. Fortunately, Pokémon Centers are open around the clock and so are the integrated shops. It’s a small ray of light of distraction that I can throw myself on.

Outside, on Route 13, I can hear the chirping of distant Pokémon. Birds make low sounds and a faint breeze turns the night heat pleasant. My legs carry me forward in ambling steps, straight to Tapu Village, where there is almost nothing to be found except the bright lights of the Pokémon Center. The glow draws me in like a lost Venomoth, and as I step over the threshold, my headache seems to sting less. My eyes are burning, though, and while I give the nurse a gentle nod, it’s the man behind the sales counter under the blue shop sign who gains my full attention.

His welcoming smile greets me warmly at this hour, even though I’m sure the shift staff would rather be doing other things at this time of day than standing around hoping someone will buy something from them.

“What can I offer you?”

“I ... need some balls.” Just to be on the safe side. The few I packed at the start of my journey are in the airship along with most of the other things I squeezed in my backpack at the start of my trip. “I’d also like three potions and a cure that removes all health problems.”

“What balls would you like? I can offer you normal Poké Balls, Great Balls, Ultra Balls, and we currently also have Dusk Balls and Moon Balls in stock.”

My head is spinning. Sure, I know there are different types, but the list this man is throwing at me goes right over my head. So I allow myself a long breath.

Poké Balls are out of the question. The only reason I don’t mix up Ying and Coro is because my Zorua’s ball is worn out, old and shabby. If I want to expand my team, it’s smarter to use one I don’t already have.

“Which ball would you recommend apart from Poké Balls?”

“That depends on the use. Great Balls are more stable and can withstand stronger Pokémon. Ultra Balls are a step above that. Both kinds are suitable for catching Pokémon whenever you want.” Thoughtfully, he puts a hand to his chin. “However, if you want to catch a Pokémon in the evening or in a dark place, it’s more likely to stay in a Dusk Ball. And if you have your eye on a Pokémon that only evolves with a Moon Stone, then it’s best to use the Moon Ball.”

After Coro evolved into Trumbeak, I simply pushed the issue away, but not every Pokémon evolves under the same conditions. A Moon Ball would be a good buy if I ever find a suitable partner. Then again, I’m inexperienced and I don’t have a specific Pokémon in mind for my team.

“I’ll take ... five Great Balls.”

“And what potions would you like? Normal ones? Super potions? Hy-“

“Any that will push my Pokémon from ‘almost dead’ to ‘lively’.”

“I think hyper potions will make you happy.”

For my last wish, we agree on Lava Cookies, which are available here in large bags. Considering they are baked goods, the best-before date of half a year is surprisingly long.

With everything packed in a bag, I pay for my first real purchase and tense my shoulders. In those seconds, I have every reason to be proud of myself. This is probably a step my father would never have expected me to take.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“I ... don’t really want to get involved, but would you like to buy some repel?” Finally, the salesman moves back into the picture. “Just to be on the safe side, if your circumstances require it.”

“In what way?”

“Aren’t you planning to go to the abandoned supermarket to survive a little test of courage or catch a Pokémon?”

“I didn’t even realise this was a thing...”

A sigh escapes him. “Many trainers have set themselves the goal of exploring the abandoned supermarket over the years. Some leave with a few of the still-usable goods there, if they can.” He lowers his eyes. “It’s quite dangerous there, though. Ghost-type Pokémon consider this place their habitat and love to haunt you if they’re friendly.”

“And if they’re not?”

He looks at me again. “Four trainers have disappeared without a trace in the last year alone.”

My eyes widen. “And the place is still standing?”

It’s hard to believe, considering the lives that have already been claimed. The islanders surely will have protested, making the very existence of the supermarket seem distressing.

“It does,” confirms the shop assistant. “They wanted to demolish it after the first incidents. Then there were tensions on many sides. The families of the disappeared believe they are still there somewhere. The government wanted to remove the building, anyway. However, a few protests stopped the construction workers from labouring because many wanted to protect the Pokémon there. They said it was the fault of the people who wanted to hold their stupid test of courage there that the Pokémon had acted up.” Without further ado, he shrugs his shoulders. “In the end, they left the place standing and put up a sign. Anyone who thinks they need to go in does so at their own risk. What’s more, the shop now serves as an examination site for those who are taking part in the island challenge. But there is always a supervisor present...”

A glance at the door makes the circumstances even more tempting. An abandoned shop full of Pokémon I’ve never faced before sounds like a place where I can distract myself. On top, I’m not alone and not careless enough to get spooked – I think.

And I have to learn to cope with certain circumstances – on my own, without Amethio as a rescue plan. And if I mess up, I still don’t have to be afraid.

“Then I’ll take a repel spray!”

----------------------------------------

》 W H I S P E R S 《

----------------------------------------

Route 14 is perfect if you’re planning to give someone the fright of their life. All that’s missing is rain and a thunderstorm and anyone in their right mind would keep a distance of two kilometres.

The sand under my soles is pitch black. At this late hour, it seems to form a mass with the night, ready to devour its victims when no one is looking. Only the crunching of my footsteps takes the weight off this delusion, but it doesn’t improve the sight in front of me. A road leading to an old car park next to the shop has collapsed. Everything lies fallow, grass is squeezing through the cracks and the entrance door to the market is barely hanging on its hinges.

Still, I dare to climb the steps up to the entrance and look inside. It is so dark I have to use Rotom to help me. The integrated light gives me a glimpse of dusty goods, checkout lanes and shelves with broken wood in some places.

I slowly push my way in, holding my breath, hoping to hear something. But the silence seems to muffle even my steps. Every additional centimetre forward drives the air out of my lungs and before I know it, the eerie effect of the shop is hardly worth mentioning. However, I keep my eyes open as I stroll past the expired snacks and inspect the Poké Dolls. Jigglypuff and Munchlax, covered in dirt, are waiting for greedy children’s hands. Moisture presses against my fingers as I stroke one doll. For being more or less at the mercy of the weather, they are holding up well.

“Welcome... home...”

In a flash, I look over my shoulder but can’t see anyone. Instead, I feel the pain in my back. The only certainty I harbour is that the scratchy sounds weren’t in my head.

In slow motion, I detach myself from the dolls and glance round a shelf – into an empty corridor. In the next breath, I hear metal rattling. My heart leaps faster and my body automatically presses against the rotten wood, eliciting a groan – from me and the shelf. Only then do I push myself towards the checkout.

The cash register belt is running.

“Ghost-type Pokémon, huh?” Quietly to myself, my attention wanders along the window front. The dirt makes it impossible to see the outside world.

Then I try to pull away. My fingers feel the wood behind me. Tins of food. Something damp.

I hastily pull my hand back, wrinkling my nose, and turn round. My gaze collides with blood-red eyes. A broad grin greets me. My heart seems to stop.

“play ... ing...”

A shiver settles over my whole body as I take a step back from Gengar. The light blinds it for a moment, giving me the chance to turn round and start running. But I don’t get very far. Heat bites through my body. Goosebumps take over every fibre of my being, and as I crash to the ground, I realise the sudden, dark explosion behind me. My hands tremble. Every muscle screams. My breath catches and I barely manage to grab Raya’s ball before the Gengar dares to attack again.

I shouldn’t be playing with fire, not in this place, but here Raya can give me a security I don’t expect from anyone else. I wouldn’t be able to see Ying in the darkness, and Pikipek – no, Trumbeak – is hardly less dark.

“Ember! But try to aim right at the Gengar. We can’t miss!”

A sound of approval escapes her before she gathers the fire in her chest and shoots straight at our opponent. The Gengar’s eyes widen before it raises its hands, but is shot down by the small fireball. Its corpulent body topples backwards, landing on its back and depriving it of its freedom of movement for a moment. Things are going better than expected.

Until something emerges from the darkness next to me.

A small, black body. Fangs. A quick whisper causing the veins in its eyes to swell and burst. White eyeballs turn red. I can’t look away. I can only stare at this curse while my surroundings are shrouded in light.

It is burning. My whole surroundings are on fire. Heat flickers over my skin and although I want to believe that this is all just a dream, a vicious attack by Gastly, the heat burns the hair on my arms.

“Raya?”

I look around hastily. Has she attacked a second time and missed the Gengar? Smoke burns in my eyes and a quick glance back at the Gastly brings emptiness into view. It has fled.

“Raya!” Once again, I ask for my Growlithe, but I can’t see her anywhere. Instead, the world blurs before my eyes. Tears make it impossible to see even the slightest thing and as the first cough escapes me, all I can do is put a hand over my nose and mouth.

I have to find her.

I have to help her.

Mum.

My body falters. Not a single movement comes over me.

Shouldn’t I be looking for a Pokémon?

I squint my eyes for a moment and shake my head. Only then do I turn my attention back to the fire, the smoke, the screams and commands in the background. If I act now, I might be able to help them.

But how?

My head is throbbing.

“Domino...” My mum’s voice wraps around me. “She’ll look after you from today...”

She’ll look after me. Whenever I need her, she’ll protect me. Even when the heat threatens to engulf me, she’ll just grab me by the arm and save me.

“Ying!” The cry escapes my childish voice in a pointed tone, chasing along the walls and bringing a glimmer to the foreground that makes my blurred vision a little more hopeful.

The next moment, something grabs my wrist. But when I look, it’s not Zorua.

“Who are you?” Irritated, I pull my nose back. “Where is Ying?”

“Helping...” replies the Pokémon in front of me. It has the appearance of a Pikachu and yet this outfit is more than obviously just a worn-out costume. The ends are already ragged.

Still, I follow the Pokémon and let it lead me out of the flames until we find shelter behind a shelf in a dark corner. To be on the safe side, I hug the little creature tightly to my chest. Then I close my eyes and slowly count down from ten. The air seems to become clearer. Someone strokes my head. My sobs penetrate the suddenly strange silence twice more and when I open my lids, there is no longer any sign of the fire. Everything is exactly the same as before. Darkness in the supermarket. Raya is sitting next to me.

A relieved sigh escapes my lips as I lean my head against the wood behind me and bring the trembling of my body under control.

“So this is what happens when you let a Pokémon curse you...”

“Poor memory ... smudge with reality.”

“I don’t already have enough nightmares I guess...” A small snort escapes me before I suck in a sharp breath and hold the Pokémon I was hugging to my chest far away from me. Its small body barely fills the lower half of the costume, while the non-Pikachu’s head hangs askew. The stains on the fabric and all the dust do the rest.

For a moment, we just look at each other. We’re probably both at a loss for words, especially as I’m slightly surprised that this Mimikyu is talking. Most Ghost-type Pokémon somehow master this with a lot of practice, but this one doesn’t look like it has spent much time in the company of humans.

“You helped me,” I finally put in.

“I apologise,” it replies. “You ... unlike many.”

Thinking about it is probably bad, but the way it’s behaving, it seems like it’s put all this on my heels. Then again, it’s hard to be angry with a Pokémon that realises its mistake and does the right thing in the end.

“Why did you do that? It was you, wasn’t it? Gengar and Gastly probably wouldn’t have ... beaten me otherwise.”

“I apologise,” it repeats, “defence.”

“From what?”

“Humans. Coming here ... attacking us. Laughing. Mean. Catch friends and throw them away if not enough.” Its eyes gleam wetly. “We been fighting back for long time. Fend off mean. Make bad away.”

They kill their opponents, their enemies. I don’t have to ask to understand that much. This little Mimikyu in my hands is defending itself from those who are performing their test of courage here to escape further suffering it never conjured. It’s no secret that some trainers attack even friendly Pokémon in order to gain more battle experience. Here they do the same, hurting the Pokémon present and laughing at them. Some are caught. Others are abandoned.

“Do you also attack those who are taking their test here?”

“Test?” Its crooked head tilts even more – I have to stop looking at the wrong face. “Sometimes strong Pokémon. Chase us into corners. Other Mimikyu ... says we safe while it there. But often goes away. Rarely comes here. Trying to fill space.”

To protect the others.

If someone had tried to explain to me not too long ago that Pokémon have their own systems and problems, I would have just raised my eyebrows because I know absolutely nothing about this side of the coin – apart from scraps from the news, which are meagre and vague. But the books on board the Explorers and the voices in my head have made it easy to understand the Pokémon. The fear of the creature from another dimension. Nebby’s carefree attitude and its love for Lillie. Tapu Lele and its friendly talkativeness. The mutated Wishiwashi and its anger.

They all come together to form a picture tightening my chest. The world can’t be perfect, certainly not, but to see some beings suffer in this way – shouldn’t we change something?

Carefully, I set the Mimikyu down on my legs.

“Did they do the same to you? Abandon you here?”

It bobs slightly. The gentle scratchiness in its voice gives it a childlike charm. “Twice. But I understand.” Its little eyes get even smaller. “Me ugly ... weak ...” Tiny beads of water are sucked in by the fabric around his eyes. “Me lonely.”

I immediately press it back against my chest. “You’re not ugly. No Pokémon is. Every creature out there has its own charm.” Gently, I rest my head on its costume. “Maybe some people don’t like you because everyone has different tastes. But there are certainly many out there who would love you if they saw you.”

“Really?”

“Guaranteed.” This time, I loosen it just a little from my chest. “Don’t we all deserve someone out there who ... loves us?”

Barely noticeable, a black arm with long claws slides out from under its costume and rests on my chest. “You lonely?”

Am I? Lonely?

Gaps in my memory pick at issues I’m only slowly becoming aware of. There’s the problem with my mum, who I don’t know where she is. The memory of a burning house that was probably once my home. The day I got Ying. The happy family life I remember only vaguely.

The world has probably changed a lot since then – I don’t know, I’m just getting to know it. Travelling with the Explorers as a permanent member now gives me hope of filling in the gaps one day, while living the adventure I’ve wanted since we left Nowhere for Alola.

In the process, I met Lillie; got two new partners and experienced things with Ying. Conia is thawing and isn’t half as strict as she pretends to be when she doesn’t have to. Zir is fun to watch. Amethio saves my ass more often than I’d like. There are so many people around me. And yet...

“Sometimes.”

A second claw slips out from under Mimikyu’s costume but rests on my head. “Two not lonely?”

“You want to go travelling with me?”

“Journey creepy.” It seems to pull its nose back. “But two not lonely.”

I’ll probably give the other four Great Balls to Lillie if she ever decides to catch a Pokémon. The one I need, I dig out of my pocket and hold it up to Mimikyu.

“It probably won’t be easy. I’m not a great trainer ... but I’m trying. So if you want to come with me ... this ball is yours.”

No more questions. No doubts. Instead, it places a claw on the front button and allows itself to be sucked inside as matter.

Now we are less lonely.