As soon as the darkness took me there was also a blinding light that felt like they were perfectly attuned to sear my eyeballs, even through my eyelids.
So I covered my face trying to keep the light out, when all of a sudden I hear a faint noise, *tock* *tick* *tock* *tock*, and thought to myself I know this noise! fucking ping pong!
As I come to my senses and my eyes adjust, so too does my brain and I quickly grab my throat only to find it's fine, and I feel around my neck to find nothing. But that's when I start to panic because I can't feel anything!
All of a sudden my mind starts to become clearer and my panic begins to settle almost unnaturally as I begin to take what I can only assume are breaths as I can't actually tell when I suddenly hear someone clear his throat.
*ahem*
I suddenly look up to see a sight that took me back, I see Freddie mercury, and Morgan free man standing next to a ping pong table looking my way, bats in hand, and now I'm not panicking for some reason and I'm looking at this scene I feel like this could be the start of a great joke.
Both have a confused look on their face as suddenly Morgan began to speak.
Morgan " I would like to welcome you son, but honestly I had no idea you would be arriving, so I guess I'll start with a welcome, and finish with who are you and how did you get that ball in your hand"
I look down to see in still clutching my ping pong ball that caused my downfall and look back up to morgan and see him then giving me a guilty look and turning to say something to Freddie, as he does Freddie lets out a "well that's terrible"
Morgan suddenly looks at me with a strained smile and waved his hand suddenly, we are in a meeting room-type setting, and motioned me to see down across from the two as Morgan leads off.
Morgan " let me just start off by saying we are deeply sorry for what happened to you due to our mistake, I've looked over your situation and I have to say, the way you died was by far the most coincidental way to die by a gods mistake I have ever seen"
Gideon " do a lot of people die due to gods mistakes?"
Morgan " no maybe once everyone few hundred years because of some blunder, but this….. for a ping pong ball from out to travel across space and time to hit squarely in between the eyes with that amount of force that wouldn't harm him but subsequently cause him to slit your throat….. this is going to sound a bit on the nose but, it's a miracle"
Gideon" me having my throat slit due to your ping pong ball going wide is a miracle?"
I said with a little heat in my voice, I know it's a god or whatever but fuck, give me a break this is some bullshit.
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Morgan " not the act itself but the probability of that happening is closer to 0 then human numbers can go, never again to be done"
Gideon " so what I'm like the Jesus of trick shots now or something? I died for your trick shot?"
Freddie who has been quiet until now drinking whatever that's in that mug he's holding and smoking a cigarette does a spit take when I get my jab in.
Freddie " pfffft…. Hahaha that was an excellent reply darling, haven't laughed like that in a while"
He manages to get get out in between breaths, and even Morgan seems to smile at that retort.
Gideon" why didn't you laugh when I first thought of it then? I assume you guys are reading my mind anyways….."
Morgan " while we could read your thoughts if we wanted to, we decided to let this conversation flow naturally, due to the rarity of this situation"
Gideon" so for entertainment, got it, glad my death could get you a couple of yucks before you send me down to hell"
I managed to reply, still with a little heat in my voice but less than before, I can't seem to panic, and my anger seems to be mitigated, by I can only assume these two in front of me.
Morgan chuckles " while you were kind of rude from time to time, hell is a place that wouldn't suit you mister Lace"
Gideon" and what do you mean by that?"
Morgan " did you forget that we saw your entire life? we saw you at your worst and your best, you may not know this but small acts of genuine selfless kindness tend to do a lot more good than people like you realize"
Gideon" yeah…. I'm thinking back and I can't really see much of me doing any good for anybody"
Morgan " well just let me tell you, you did enough to get into heaven if that situation was applicable to this situation"
Gideon" ok so what now? You going to just wipe me out for ruining your game or something?"
Man, I can't help but be pessimistic in this situation even with no panic and limited anger, it's really messing with my head.
Morgan " of course, not mister lace, we are going to reincarnate you into a world of your choice with 2 wishes each, granted, I personally have only reincarnated one person and only given him one wish, but due to the special circumstances we find ourselves in we both are going to make an exception"
He told me with a warm grandfatherly smile, which frankly did not suit the situation in my opinion, but whatever, I'm taking that win
Gideon" I've read a couple fanfictions about this situation and I just have a few questions if that's cool with you guys?"
Freddie " ask as many as you need darling, we have the time"
Gideon" rightio, in order of questions would be, first are you the real Morgan and Freddie, if so, big fans of both of you, don't stop me now is the shit, second, do I keep my memories or do I need to wish for it?, third, this is more of a stopgap question, Freddie can I please of a cigarette?"
Freddie just chuckles and hands me over the packet and lighter, as I light one up I feel a rush through me I've never felt before as I shiver in place.
Suddenly I hear both of them chuckling again and I face them to see what's so funny, and as I look down I see my veins are glowing blue, and I'm for once glad I can't panic.
It feels like lightning coursing through my veins, but in a good way, it's the only way I know how to describe what's going on…
Freddie " it's a cigarette of pure divinity sweet pea, haha it's a lot to take as a mortal soul"
Gideon " why the fuck wouldn't you say that before you let me smoke it!?!…you just handed me one like it was nothing, I'm going to die again! always knew cigarettes were gonna kill me but, this is horseshit!!"
Freddie " calm yourself down a little, you won't die, if anything it's a free wish, so you should show a little more gratitude my sweet"
Somehow while trying to stop my veins from exploding, I managed to listen to him and looked at him with an almost crazed look to explain, he again chuckled in relaxation.
Freddie " it's made your soul much tougher and more robust, whichever world you go to, you would become inhumanly good at whatever power structure governs that world"
I managed to grunt out a response "thanks Freddie" and he just smiles at me.
And Morgan swoops in from the side with his explanations for my previous questions.
Morgan " we got a little off topic there, but for your questions, the answers are no we are not the real Morgan freeman and Freddie Mercury, just taken these forms, second, yes you get to keep your memories wish free and I'll ever let you choose how your own body looks as well, and for the third, well no need to answer now is there"
He states that last bit with a cheeky smile I do not appreciate, though I appreciate the gift of what it is, how shit does this feel….. I don't know how to describe it, it's like going from feeling almost nothing to feeling EVERYTHING.
Morgan " now that's out of the way, let's get down to what we are really here for hmmm?…"
Alrighty, time to get started…..