So here I am in an outer body, while somehow still being in body experience, feeling like someone dumped 59 liters of lightning-bred caffeine pumped directly into my veins, while simultaneously talking to 2 gods in the disguise of Freddie Mercury and Morgan freeman telling me I'm about to be reincarnated into a world of my choosing.

Overall a strange day, but hey gotta roll with the punches sometimes, so here I am after an hour thinking about where I wanna go while my two companions seem to be talking excitedly about their death-defying trick shot that brought us to this point and how no one was gonna believe it, neat….

My thought process has boiled down to one thing, what do I wanna do with myself?, what are my grand ambitions?, after a little soul-searching, I found my answer...

Nothing, the answer is nothing, I don't want to conquer anything or go on some big grand quest to find some bullshit item that saves the world, I don't want to go into some border hentai world and have a big harem, that sounds fun for about 2-3 weeks, but once that post nut clarity hits you and you realize you have to deal with like 13 women... fuck that…

I have worked for others, and it sucks, I have worked for myself and while it gives a little sense of achievement, at the end of the day that sucks as well, I have a chance now to really do what I want with no barriers, and all I want is to chill….

Gonna have to make sure this new world has weed, ganna need some goons to do shit for me, tough goons that can just roll up and stop any show people have going on, gotta be rich too can't be having to work for a living again, and while it sounds hypocritical from my last thought I want a gaggle of casual ass, nothing serious, and for that, I need money, and to keep my money I need my goons, so...

Feeling like my choice is kinda locked in at this point as I turn to the Mildly bickering stars/gods I clear my throat ready to talk…

*ahem*

Morgan "oh are you ready?"

Gideon "yeah I think so, think I'm gonna choose the Pokémon world…."

Freddie " oh hoooo, Pokémon is it, interesting… would you give me a moment to speak to my colleague for a moment?"

Gideon " sure?"

As they speak in hushed voices I can finally feel my blood cooling down, but from going to feeling nearly nothing at all to whatever that was, was a true experience, one I wouldn't want to happen again.

As they finally seem to agree to something about 5 minutes later, I assume 5 minutes because I can't really feel time here, I know it sounds weird but you have to feel it to know what it means.

Morgan " well mister Lace we have a little proposal for you if you would be interested to hear it, but don't fret it wouldn't change anything if you were to deny it in any way, it's just a flight of fancy we have taken to your unique situation"

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Gideon" alright?... shoot I guess?"

Morgan " very well, we would like to choose the placement and time period of your new reality, but in exchange, we would offer three things, the first being a full comprehension and talent of all the top chefs of the anime foodwarz, second, we can guarantee that marijuana will be in your world and close by, but people won't know it as anything more than a weed, and third and finally when your life ends once again, we bring you back here to renegotiate another reincarnation, with the same number of wishes, how does that sound…"

Gideon" sounds too good to be true, what's the catch, it's some grim dark future where Pokémon have mostly rebelled and humans have to live in walled cities and live in fear of being eaten. Or worse! some fucked up pokefelia bullshit world with sexy tentacruels!? And tangrowths!?, Do you think I'm some sick freak!? I won't be part of your system!!!"

Seems some of my anger is back due to that god smoke…. And it seems to feed my paranoia.

Freddie "I see that cigarette has toughened you up already darling.."

He states with a casual smile as he takes out another of what I now call god smokes, and for some disturbing reason uses his lower lip to clean some of whatever he was drinking out of his mustachios with an uncomfortable amount of eye contact... I cannot put into words how much I do not want him to do that again…..

Morgan " nothing of the sort mister Lace, I assure you, I won't tell you exactly what it is that we have planned, but I can promise you, that there will be plenty of people, the Pokémon won't be after humanity's extinction, and you won't be suddenly molested by some tentacled monstrosities, due to this 'pokefelia' you spoke of, but I promise you can live a good long life, even if you were to half-ass an attempt to live properly"

Freddie " and sweet boy, you would live quite a long life due to that infusion of divinity, with the power system of that world, what was it called again?... aura that's it!, you would live for at least 1000 years, which to you seems like a lot but is a blink to us, as I said you would be inhumanly talented for whatever world system you chose, and aura darling isn't just a strength and spirit enhancement, it's lifespan as well, and once again inhumanly talented is by the world standards, not by human standards, the longest living human there would be maybe 300, so there you go"

Alright, it's starting to seem way too good to be true, so need to find the fine print before I agree to anything….

Gideon " ok…. Say I do take this deal, can tell me anything else? Like at all?"

Morgan hums for a moment before adding

Morgan " I can at least tell you, you will be born nobility in Sinnoh"

Shit, tells me fuck all, so am I gonna risk it for the biscuit? I'm thinking yes, but let's see if I can sweeten the deal, greedy I know but who knows…

Gideon " if you could…..maybe...let me start with 3 of the Pokémon I want, I know I could venture into this unknown with a little more confidence?"

Morgan laughs lightly, as does Freddie on the side.

Morgan " very well we can do that, I'll even throw in purple potential on all 3, due to this being such an...unknown for you"

Ooooo, ominous pause, that's not good, but fuck it….. and shit potential is a thing, didn't think of that, oh well let's do this.

Morgan " very well, let me know what Pokémon you want and we can get started on your wishes and send you on your way!"

Well, I have my goons in mind, will they still be goons? I doubt it, they will probably grow on me super quickly I can feel it, but all this for a lazy life ...

Morgan " you know I have heard a few people who have reincarnated into Pokémon worlds and almost all of them have chosen ralts, evee, or Riolu, perhaps these are your choices?"

At this statement I couldn't almost feel my blood boil again, but this time with anger!

Gideon " NO!!! FUCK THAT, I don't need those femboy goons, and the fact you even asked makes me question whether you actually looked at my life at all!?, no! I want Pokémon with some real fucking chest hair like my first choice... MAGIKARP!!!!"

Both gods say there with dumbfounded faces as they heard my first choice.

Gideon " And I don't want just any magikarp, no I want the broly of magikarps!, I want this things power off the charts, and with a king gene and absolute trust and loyalty for me….."

The gods look at me for a minute, then each other, and back to me and smile, like they rehearsed this, super creepy…..

Morgan " very well that can be done, what are the second and third?"

I instantly answer back, there's no battle logic or anything, I'm literally just picking my favorite Pokémon.

Gideon" for number two, I'll take a houndour, and for the 3rd, I'll take Shiny Beldum…..

Morgan " very well it will be done, and you didn't need to mention trust and loyalty, these specific Pokémon will be made tailor-made for you, they will be yours always…."

Sweet, alrighty next my wishes and I'll be able to get out of this stuffy room and into a new life, kinda exciting….