The members of 16otaku, and their guest, exchanged nervous glances. Several tense moments passed. Then Eric and Sam returned with very self-satisfied smiles. “You have to see this,” Eric intoned. “It’s just precious.”
The curious crowd followed them. Once they turned the corner, they could not believe their eyes. The blue bot lay on the workbench counter, completely passive. The red bot hovered over him, its legs extended, fussing over its cohort obsessively. The people watched as the red bot removed broken parts, grabbed spare parts, and performed repairs. It even touched up the paint.
“They can fix each other?” Brian was amazed.
“Not only that,” Isabel explained, “but in our experience, they appear to want to.”
“Are you serious?” Brian beheld Isabel, his eyes uncertain.
“So…” Isabel began. “One unexpected development from using real neural tissue is that our so-called devices seem to develop a camaraderie with each other, sometimes bordering on affection. These two may have fought a pitched battle earlier, but here, they’re friends again. We’ve also found that some of our construction bots prefer to work with certain other bots, if given a chance. And at night, when their biological systems are rejuvenating…they nest together, in clusters we’ve come to refer to as ‘families’.”
“And this behavior doesn’t worry you?” Brian seemed unsettled.
Gary looked uneasy too. “It worries some of us.”
Isabel looked slightly indignant. “Well, I think it’s adorable!”
Gary smiled. “Some of us think it’s adorable.”
“At their level of development, it’s not really a danger,” Sam declared. “Like we said, none of them even rise to the level of cat intelligence. Bruno is an inspiration to us, on several different levels! Still, it’s something to keep an eye on.”
The red bot got off the blue bot; it stood up and moved around a little, testing its repaired systems. The red bot’s propellers emerged and powered up; it gave the blue bot a playful-seeming swat, and quickly flew away. The blue bot extended its propellers and gave chase. Isabel sighed. “See? I told you they were friends again.”
“Where are they going?” Brian watched them as they flew away.
“Probably back to the jungle gym,” Stacy suggested. “That’s where they were before we summoned them to the cage. They spend a lot of their time teaching the newer bots how to fight. They each have their own dojo, and their students spar against each other.”
“They’ve organized their own dojos?” Brian was incredulous. “And you’re not concerned by any of this?”
“We don’t leave them completely on their own,” Sam reassured. “Big Daddy spends most of his time overseeing them.”
“Why don’t we go visit him?” Eric suggested. “He’s not that far away.”
Before long, they had entered a room with the same eerie bluish-green glow as the nursery. The room’s walls were covered with rack-mounted computers, but its central feature was a fluid-filled tank. In it floated a solitary person, a corpulent young man, clothed minimally, with wires and tubes protruding from him. A single computer console, on a pedestal, stood in front.
Brian was taken aback. Eric gestured towards the tank. “Meet Big Daddy!”
Brian looked alarmed. “What have you done to him?”
“We saved him!” Isabel chimed. “We found him during our evaluation of long-term care facilities. No one had even given him a name! They thought he had been born retarded and uncommunicative, but we soon learned otherwise. He was one of the first human recipients of our neural-implant technology. Turns out only his body is damaged; his mind had been highly active the whole time. We saved him from a dreary nursing-home life.”
The console suddenly burst forth with synthesized speech. “I cannot express to you how much I hate Dabney The Dinosaur.”
“Oh, he speaks!” Brian thrilled. “That’s great! I was concerned. And yeah, my granddaughter watched that show when she was younger. I couldn’t stand it either.”
There was a hint of humor in the digital speech. “I could tell you were one of the smart ones!” The group roiled with laughter.
“So what do you do here?” Brian stared at Big Daddy, fascinated.
“I have only rudimentary senses outside of the neural implant,” Big Daddy explained. “Most of my awareness is cybernetic. I busy myself by communicating with our bots, and helping them to learn and grow. I feel like a father to all of them; they’re the ones that named me Big Daddy.”
Brian snickered to himself. “That might have surprised me half an hour ago. How quickly things change!” He looked around. “Do the rest of you have neural implants too?”
“No, only me.” Irwin pointed to the back of his neck.
Brian looked at the faint scar. “So you’re the only brave one, huh?”
“Not exactly,” Irwin shuddered. “I started as an invalid too. But they were able to restore full functionality.”
“Like I said,” Eric reminded, “we want to make full use of valuable resources.”
Brian shook his head. “That’s really impressive. So do you hate Dabney too?”
“Sure, a little,” Irwin related. “But my real wrath is reserved for Yowza Kablooey. High-pitched voices still send shivers down my spine!”
Brian arched his eyebrows. “Glad I’m a baritone!”
The electronic voice piped up again. “Sir, if you’re done with me…may I get back to work? I was having a spirited conversation with the teacher-bots when you arrived, and I really need to get back to it.”
“Not a problem!” Eric belted. “We have much more to see.” They exited the room, leaving Big Daddy with his thoughts.
Brian kept looking back with fascination in his eyes. “How long have you been putting neural implants into people?”
Dwight shrugged. “Since soon after we perfected them in animals.”
“Oh?” Brian asked wryly. “Do animals have a lot to say?”
“Most of our experience is with cats and dogs,” Dwight explained. “Their detectable thoughts consist mostly of images. On the other hand, they have a rich emotional life. When they’re networked together, they tend to share their feelings, and it lets them work with each other very effectively.”
Brian looked distant for a moment. “So the cats have jobs too? Really?”
“Of course!” Stacy piped up. “They’re tackling the city’s terrible rodent and pigeon infestations. The animal-control bots used to do that, but cats are so much better at it. We’d pick them up to spay and neuter them, and the healthiest ones received a neural implant. The cats immediately noticed the difference, and began a vibrant conversation among themselves. All fighting between them stopped. After that, it was easy to send them images of rodents and pigeons, and they’d take care of the rest.”
“What happened next was really fascinating,” Sam continued. “They began taking down giant sewer rats, ones big enough to threaten a dog! As soon a cat spotted one, the feeling would radiate to the nearby cats, and they’d coordinate an attack the rat couldn’t withstand. They also began simultaneously pouncing on pigeons in groups, tackling several before the rest flew away. Much faster than one at a time! And at night, we provide them with a safe, warm place to sleep…or they simply go home.”
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
“That’s what my granddaughter said!” Brian remarked. “She insisted her cat had a job. I thought she was just being fanciful; you know how kids are!”
“Nope!” Isabel answered. “We literally pick them up in the morning, in standard mass-transit buses, take them to where they’re needed, and let them loose!”
Brian shivered slightly. “It’s too bad cats don’t eat cockroaches.”
“Yeah, insect infestations are still a problem,” Gary agreed. “Neural implants work in lizards and toads, but we don’t have enough to work with. So those are still fought by swarms of small robots, with occasional large robots to seal off well-contained areas and gas them. But if we can ever find an overabundance of problem lizards, we’re all ready to turn them into cockroach killers!” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I wonder if we could import them from Florida?” Gary laughed to himself. “We do have tiny robots that can invade anthills and termite nests to find and kill the queens, which is far more efficient than any other strategy we’ve come up with.”
“How about the dogs?” Brian asked. “What do they do?”
“Pretty much what they did before,” Irwin explained. “A lot of police work, a lot of fire work. It’s just easier to communicate with them now. And they can work in packs, independently!”
Brian stopped walking and turned around to face them. “These are all very practical applications. Don’t get me wrong, I commend you for that. But outside of the amazing accomplishments, it seems like a lot of difficult work, even tedious. Don’t you have any fun around here too?”
The group smiled knowingly, including Eric. Brian was taken aback. “What…?”
“I guess it’s time,” Eric gushed, “to show you the rest of the hangar! Lead the way, gang!”
They passed through an immense storage area; some of it was finished parts, but a lot of it was simply raw metal, ready to be cut or forged into desired shapes and sizes. Stacks of barrels held precursor chemicals for different types of plastics. As they moved forward in the dim light, a much larger exit could finally be seen, a roll-up door that led to the rest of the hangar. Nothing could be seen through it as it opened; darkness filled the next area. Sam stepped inside; his footsteps echoed dimly in the cavernous expanse. A few seconds later came the crack of a large knife-switch being thrown into position; rows of lights switched on, the sudden illumination of each row producing its own crackling sound. As the room filled with their glow, the lights revealed several large shapes that left Brian speechless.
“Wha…? Oh my…”
Sam swept the area with his arm. “Presenting…our mechas!”
Tears formed in Brian’s eyes. Standing before him were three giant humanoid robots, straight out of science fiction. One wore a sphinx-like headdress, one sported a mohawk, and the last had a rounded head and giant soulful eyes. Their highly-articulated limbs sported several loosely-attached panels of unclear function. Each stood nearly sixty feet high. And of course, they were painted with all the garish colors typical of children’s entertainment programs.
Brian could hardly contain himself. “I used to see these at the Saturday matinees when I was a kid! All that wild stuff coming out of Japan. But I never thought I’d see a real one!”
“They’re as real as they get!” Stacy trilled.
“I want to play with them!” Brian exulted. “Do they actually work?”
“Well, occasionally.” Sam looked sanguine. “We don’t get as much time to work on them as we’d like. We’ve been so busy lately with the final development on the maid-bots. Hopefully there’ll be some time before the big push on robo-butlers.”
“I didn’t know that!” Eric interrupted. “I’ll make sure you get a few weeks in between projects to spiff these up. Seriously, this department meets all their practical-project deadlines with room to spare. Time for this is the least I can give!”
“And fuel,” Stacy added.
“Of course! I’ll make sure this airport gets a fresh delivery.” Eric tapped a reminder into his cell phone.
“Aw, you can’t even start them up? Show me a little of what they do?” Brian’s flushed skin took years off his appearance.
“It wouldn’t be safe…not right now,” Stacy lamented. “We still need to repair them after the last…test.”
“What kind of test was that?” Brian gazed at their thick limbs. “Construction work?”
“No, they’re not really suited for that,” Sam replied. “I mean, they could, but it’s much more efficient to use specialized equipment, such as cranes. Our mechas aren’t very durable or energy-efficient yet.”
“So what was the last test?”
Sam looked uncomfortable. “Uh…kung fu battle.”
Brian whirled around. “Are you serious?”
“Oh yes!” Stacy crowed. “They’re not as steady on their feet as we’d like them to be, but that’s why they’re research projects! Still, last time they withstood damage better than before. There are several classic anime battle scenes in our heads; until we can replicate one of them, we won’t feel we’ve accomplished anything!”
Brian doubled over with laughter. “Oh my…you people are silly, in all the right ways. This makes me wish I was young enough to start a second career.”
Eric’s eyes gleamed. “Well, when we’re ready to ship them, maybe you can be one of our first customers!”
“Count me in!” Brian shouted joyously. “What do the controls look like? Do you have a remote station around here somewhere? I’d love to see it!”
“Um…” Dwight began. “They’re not remote-controlled…they’re manned.”
Brian stared at Dwight, open-mouthed. “That’s it…I’m never leaving this place.” Spirited guffaws spilled from the group and echoed off the walls of the yawning hangar.
“Of course we control them from inside!” Isabel gushed. “What fun would it be, otherwise? Actually, keeping us from getting injured during mecha kung-fu battles is one of our primary research directions. There’s not a lot of prior work in this area; spaceships and jet fighters don’t plan for this very much. But we’re just fragile nerds; we need all the protection we can get!”
“And on top of the coolness factor, that’s why we fund this project,” Eric added. “A lot of what 16otaku develops for them makes its way into more practical projects. But the motivation for those inventions is pure childlike joy. And talk about a valuable resource…you don’t find a lot of that sort of joy in adults. I’m glad they were able to hang onto it!”
“I think you’re bringing it back in me!” Brian’s skin glowed pink. “Let me know when these ship. Heck, if you need space to store one, you can park it on my roof! I think it’d look great sitting on the edge, posed like Rodin’s ‘The Thinker’.”
“Like what?” Irwin asked.
“You know, the statue of the guy sitting like this.” Eric rested his chin on his fist.
“Ohhh…right.” Irwin looked slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t know what it was called.”
Brian sighed. “It’s going to be so boring to return to my old company.”
Eric smiled. “Hopefully, we’ve shown you today that your investment is in good hands, and our future is brighter than you ever thought possible.”
Brian twitched with joy. “Indeed! And that alone will put a spring in my step!”
They made the long trek back to the cubicles. When they got there, they found several of the spider-bots on the couch with Bruno, curled up with him. He snoozed contentedly, completely undisturbed by the cuddling arachnids. Brian pointed to them with curiosity in his eyes. Stacy answered his gaze. “Yes, that happens…pretty often, actually. Like we said, it’s a family here.”
“Well, I never would have believed any of this, if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. I hope to come back here soon!” He moved to leave.
“Mr. McTierney, can you give me a few minutes?” Eric asked. “I want some parting words with my team.”
“Of course! I have a few things to do before we board the jet again.”
Eric closed the door behind him, and turned to face 16otaku. His face practically exploded with glee. “Gang, that was great! I’m amazed what you pulled together on such short notice!”
“Yeah…about that,” Dwight said sardonically. “Couldn’t you have given us more warning?”
“Sorry, it was a surprise to me too!” Eric pleaded. “I expected just to review financials with him. I had no idea he wanted to geek out to this level! You think you know a guy, and then…something like this happens.”
“Hey, no big deal,” Dwight conceded. “I was just venting.”
“No problem, I understand.” An impish grin spread over Eric’s face. “So what’s next for the mechas? Got anything planned?”
“Heck, I don’t know,” Gary admitted. “What would you like to see?”
Eric thought for a moment. “Can they fly yet?”
Gary was taken aback. “No, we haven’t even started that. But…there’s unused interior space, for fuel tanks…that would make it easy to route turbine exhaust out the arms and legs…we’d need high-flow hinged valves to run through the elbows and knees…or maybe multiple turbines…”
Eric faced his palms forward. “Hey…I don’t need to know all the details…I’m sure this team can handle them! All I ask, is…if at all possible…make them fly! That’d be badass!”
“You got it, boss!” Sam rejoiced. Eric gave them a thumbs-up and disappeared behind the door.
The team looked at each other for a few moments. “So, where were we?” Stacy asked. “Back to the arena, then?”
Sam tapped on his phone. “Oh, would you look at that…they’re both waiting near the cage! They actually want to duel!”
The team stampeded out of the room, their shouts of “team red” and “team blue” vying to overpower each other.